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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Mt Path Part 4 - Meltdown
    #7745658 -

I was not ready for the shock.

The shock of learning that my wife may have cervical cancer and breast cancer all in the same week.
I had been worried about her for the past 2-3 years. She had been having pain and odd periods. She needed to get looked at. She needed a PAP smear done. But wouldn't get it done.

Finally, after the pain go to be too much, she got one and it came back as pre-cancerous cells and she would need a hysterectomy.

My fears and anxiety over my wife put me into a long hard spiral down into the deepest depression I have ever experienced. The fear of loosing my wife shorted me out for a few months. I went into the hospital for a 48 hour visit. Saw my therapist again and have started a new set of meds.

We split up for a few months. I moved in with some friends. We have since moved back together. We found out she is ADD and she is taking meds for it and we are both doing better.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: Mt Path Part 4 - Meltdown [Re: niteowl]
    #7745809 -

I hope you and your wife are ok and pull through it all :thumbup:

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Re: Mt Path Part 4 - Meltdown [Re: niteowl]
    #7747460 -

Damn man....good luck to you and your wife.

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Re: Mt Path Part 4 - Meltdown [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7750603 -

My brother, this is an almost impossible time for you!

Ponder this. You know that you are in pain, mental and emotional.
I know that you are experiecing a pain deep, because you have felt pleasures so deep.

It is to the height that you suffer, that alot for the height of your pleasures. Think about this for a second. Is there any doubt in your mind that bad things, do not follow with good things, equal in intensity?

If so, heal this thought. It is an illusion, the illusion of despair, of fear.

Know that during the time you feel despair, it is departing, exactly like the love that has departed, and allowed for fearful deceptions, despair.

I think it would interest u to read a book on taoism. I really enjoyed "the water course way" Allan watts... man...yeah its been some really troubling times for me. The liberty i enjoyed before has is reflecting like a light in my eye, because now.. me feeling bound, in a cage of pain and despair.

im beggining to see things everywhere and have become paranoid of what people believe me to be. Its so annoying at times and the resent makes it alot worse. I even get to the point where im in a constant state of resent and despair...something of the lowest in this experience here, in this mind...there? haha. Oh fuck yeah, sometimes im way out there, gotta center myself.

I have been able to heal and create my reality more and more, with this simply unifiying truth that i mentioned. It is possible to do this...but be aware that subconciously this division is deeply embedded in our psyches.

Im here with you, were in this together man. Keep it touching.:heart:


--------------------
The mind is a creative tool. It searches to protect you, through message sensations(feelings). It is no different than a computer, you need to make sure its anti-virus program is in check and that it doesnt have a script that limits your experience, because of to much precaution.

And remember the computer does not appear to respond to words of anger and frustration - just give it input, in the form of new meanings that you know to be true and its messages to you and the limits it lays out for you, will change.

Guilt is an outcome of believing you are the cause of the problems.

Yet, we are not a cause to something, we see is negative or bad - Unless you believe your intentions are directed towards a bad outcome....

Edited by JoseLibrado (12/12/07 06:25 PM)

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Re: Mt Path Part 4 - Meltdown [Re: JoseLibrado]
    #7759551 -

Thanks for the encouraging words.

The first 3 parts of My path can be found in the link in my sig.

I lost my job when all this happened and have had 3 jobs since then. Can't seem to keep any job nowadays.

My biggest problem now is trying to file for mental disability. Jobs are hard to keep when you are bi-polar. I've had MANY. I just hope that the disability gets approved the first time. I don't want to have to get a lawyer for this.


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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