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Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight
    #7270098 -

okay, so my girlfriend and i had a reallllly bad fight, nothing physical but lets just say it got other parties involved.

keep in mind that we have lived togeather, and have been a coupple for almost 9 months.....

now for the first 2 days after this happened she wouldnt talk to me, i tried to go see her in person up at one of her favorite hangouts, but she walked out the door without saying a word... she also deleted me off of myspace and face book and listed her self as single..... however, she didnt block me (which she knows how to do) so i think that she still wanted to keep the lines of communication open.....

everyone i know told me to give her some space and some time, and i agreed that it was the best thing to do.......

obviously with as much time as we had together, im sure that at some point were going to talk again...

So..... i havent talked to her in 4 days...... and im wondering how long i should wait before i try and talk to her again...

I was just going to wait untill this saturday ( 10 days after the fight, after being out of contact for 8) as saturday would make it our 9 month anniversary....

but this morning i log onto aim, and the usual bs "welcome to aim page shows up" and then i find that she recently logged onto aim, and updated her profile and this is what it says...

Quote:
Remind me we'll always have eachother when everything else is gone @-->---


now that is one of my favorite songs, and i cant help but think that she is in some way trying to get through to me..........


what do you all think, should i call her today, or just wait some more?


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270106 -

call her, put the bullshit behind you and tell her how you feel.

theres no waiting rules, just do what your heart says man.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270111 -

Might as well call her today. Hold no expectations.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270127 -

Don't play "games"

There are no "rules"

If you need to tell someone something, or talk something out, do it.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: WhiskeyClone]
    #7270138 -

u should do the same thing to her and delete her from your friends list and not talk to her , by the way why the hell are u living together if u only been together 9 months


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: BIGROM]
    #7270154 -

BIGROM said:
u should do the same thing to her and delete her from your friends list


Yeah, continue interpreting your relationship through the language of MySpace, we all know that's where the reality of things lies..:rolleyes:


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #7270170 -

whatever myspace or not dump that bitch and get a new one, leykis 101


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: BIGROM]
    #7270198 -

the thing is, she hasnt talked to me since this whole thing happened, and im afraid that if i call her now it might re stir the flames and make it that much longer before we talk again.

and we moved out to phoenix together this summer, but it didnt work out because of quite a few things, people and place we were living at, her not having any friends out there, etc....


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270215 -

did she make u move out there?


--------------------
No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270250 -

well dude, if theres one thing I know pretty well about women... they always want you to be thinking about them. I think. it would be in your best interest to give her a fucking call. and stop playing this waiting game... tell he you want to fix things, and that you want to sit down with her, and have a heart to heart conversation.

you can always pull the lykus 101 meathead shit, but most likely that is going to cause you more pain than pleasure, considering youre (living with her) and pretty long term...

stop pondering the consequences of your actions, and just tell her how you really feel, person to person. call her and say

"look, i really want to fix things, i hope that you want things to get better for us too." ---shell say yes or no (if she says yes immediately pull the i want to see you and talk more about this card)

if no:
"I dont want to play this waiting game any longer, if we really want to work this relationship out, we need to do it together, and I want to do that with you..." - etc, etc, etc...

get her in person, then youll definately get a certain answer as to how the relationship is going to turn out.

My personal opinion dude... she played a lot of games with you when you two had problems, rather than working to fix things...
silence is a game as well... are you Sure you really want to be with a person like this?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #7270270 -

Call her. Wait no more.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: Justice_Fish]
    #7270318 -

well, for one im pretty sure that she is sleeping right now.....

but what about giving her space, im not trying to play games here, im sure that she is taking this about 10X as hard as i am, and to be honest, im somewhat of a fucking wreck.......

i suppose that i probably will call her later on today, and see if she'll answer...... i suppose thats a game in its own, her not answering....

fuck.

you never know what youve had untill its gone.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7270610 -

God, stupid bullshit drama like this brings back memories of my ex-girlfriends. How old is this girl? I thought you guys broke up anyway.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: ZippoZ]
    #7275153 -

Geez, you're such a supportive friend, Randall.  :heart:

Zippoz, I know you're hurting right now...but you've sure made a lot of posts about how unreasonable this girl is being with you.  You're always trying to give her space, or apologize or work something out... it seems to me that you're the only one working on ANYTHING. 

I don't know how true this is because I've never had a conversation with her or heard her side of the story...but it sounds to me like she doesn't really know what it is that she wants.  This girl is causing you some serious heartache.  I can tell by the daily 'Relationship Advice' threads you've been making.

Not only that, but someone who really loves you isn't going to tell you who you can and cannot be friends with. 

You need to get this girl out of your head.  She's poison.  I know you are hurting right now, and you think you're going to work it out and you love her and all that other bullshit, but that's what I thought when things got flushed down the shitter with the 'love of my life'.  You know what I realized?  He was poison too.  He hurt me.  It took me over a year to figure that out...and you will too.  Except it won't take you that long because you're not a naive and stupid as I am.

This girl is hurting you, you need to cut her loose and find a cool chick that will come with you on your adventures to Canada and meet your friends and put 'in a relationship' on her Myspace or whatever and give you the credit that you deserve.

Kapeesh?

:hug:


--------------------

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: CherryBom]
    #7275445 -

Bom is right, Z. You know what to do.

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: CherryBom]
    #7276191 -

CherryBom said:
Geez, you're such a supportive friend, Randall.  :heart:



It's not easy being such a great guy....  :smirk:

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #7277233 -

RandalFlagg said:
God, stupid bullshit drama like this brings back memories of my ex-girlfriends.


+1

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #7277795 -

mickdawg666 said:
My personal opinion dude... she played a lot of games with you when you two had problems, rather than working to fix things...
silence is a game as well... are you Sure you really want to be with a person like this?


yeah i mean that's drama and game playing, the more enlightened you get the less of this you do and the more you just say fuck it and settle your differences like a man(or woman) and just you know, be honest and not do these things... it sounds ilke she's got some sort of hole deep inside her for her to go off and do something like that, and most of us do, but to me it seems a bit outlandish and immature,
what is it she WANTS to GET out of her doing this "to" you?

and what wasn't she getting "from" you that made her feel inspired to do this?

just listen to Maynard on this one it's all you'll ever need to know about relationships probably:

I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Fundamental differing
Pure intention juxtaposed
Will set two lovers' souls in motion
Disintegrating as it goes
Testing our communication
The light that fueled our fire then
Has a burned a hole between us so
We cannot see to reach an end
Crippling our communication

I know the pieces fit
'Cause I watched them tumble down
No fault, none to blame
It doesn't mean I don't desire to
Point the finger, blame the other
Watch the temple topple over
To bring the pieces back together
Rediscover communication

The poetry
That comes from the squaring off between
And the circling is worth it
Finding beauty in the dissonance

There was a time that the pieces fit
But I watched them fall away
Mildewed and smouldering
Strangled by our coveting
I've done the math enough to know
The dangers of our second guessing
Doomed to crumble unless we grow
And strengthen our communication

Cold silence has
A tendency to
Atrophy any
Sense of compassion
Between supposed lovers

I know the pieces fit


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (08/09/07 02:29 PM)

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Re: Some relationship Advice please, how much space to give after a fight [Re: leery11]
    #7280233 -

that was awesome man, thank you for sharing that.


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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