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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
need some advice here
    #3051059 - 08/26/04 12:56 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

hey im a friend of this girl but i like her more than just a friend... i have no idea if the feeling is mutual and dont really wanna ruin the friendship by coming out and saying i like her... is there any way to tell if she feels the same about me without me asking or waiting for her to come out and say it?


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OfflineMXNR
Did the Mushroom choose you?
Male

Registered: 07/20/04
Posts: 406
Loc: MARS
Last seen: 10 months, 4 days
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3051244 - 08/26/04 01:32 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Hi crusher101,

Rule #1: Do not hesitate to act upon your feelings! It's how human beings communicate with each other! You have not shown her any emotion at this point that has let her know how you truly feel about her. She will either interpret this as you not liking her as more than a friend OR she will suspect that you do hold these feelings for her but are too cowardly to act upon them. You don't want either of these options. So, just be strait and confident and tell her what's up. If she says yes, get to know her and see if you and her can get along well. If she says no, just be smooth about it and maintain the friendship. Ask her to be a bud and help you refine your technique to try again with the next lady.

Remember, women are like fish: they all contain a trace amount of deadly poison and if you have too much of them, you will go crazy.


--------------------
Master: Everyday change your clothes and eat your food and you will become enlightened.

Pupil: Master, I do not understand...

Master: If you don't understand, eat your food and change your clothes.


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: MXNR]
    #3051295 - 08/26/04 01:41 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

ok let me put it this way im not a coward... just terrified to let anybody too close without a safety net


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3051308 - 08/26/04 01:43 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

ok... im a coward when it comes to this sort of thing... but its just hard for me to approach anybody in this way... even if its a friend its hard for me to just spit it out and tell her


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OfflinePhishgrrl
Walking in thetall trees...
 User Gallery

Registered: 05/03/04
Posts: 5,079
Last seen: 11 years, 9 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3051446 - 08/26/04 02:14 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Yeah I'd be careful with this sort of thing. Wait until she gives you a sign that she likes *you* more than a friend. Cuz you might lose her as a friend if she doesn't feel the same way....it would make her uncomfortable.  Just be 'yo bad funky self and make her fall for you- and she will make the first move. Then you're golden. :laugh:


--------------------
Once in awhile you can get shown the light

In the strangest of places if you look at it right...



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OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3052079 - 08/26/04 06:25 AM (12 years, 7 months ago)

Sometimes, subtle yet 'safe' hints that you might POSSIBLY like her as more hten a friend, without being outright blatent with it, can help as well. Hell for all you know, she might feel the exact same way.

Just be careful with out you approach it, put out your little feelers and just probe here and there. Reading body language as well as verbal and PROPERLY interpeting it is key to getting the information you need to make the proper decision.

phishgrrlpickles also has a very good point. NEVER EVER change who you are. Do exactly as you normally would, be yourself. DO NOT let it consume you. women are suckers for confidence and just being who you ARE.

Much love and good luck..

f0'sheeezzyyfreeeeeezzzzzzy


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: Barbi]
    #3056225 - 08/27/04 01:54 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

i am myself around her... she is one of the very few ppl that actually know WHO i really am... id say that there are about maybe 7 ppl that actually know how i really act when im comfortable around them whether they know it or not... the only problem is that even if im comfortable... i still may act differently ... even if i can act normal around her... im not always that way... ive been trying to hint it to her... but then she says that she didnt interperet it as a hit since she thinks im just complimenting her as a friend...


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OfflineBarbi
Plastic Person

Registered: 04/22/02
Posts: 12,976
Last seen: 12 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3056742 - 08/27/04 04:24 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Then you shoudl find other ways of hinting, without making it sound like a compliment.

Its hard to give really good advice in a situation where we would almost HAVE to be there to see how you two work together, and how you talk to be able to offer better wording.

Just continue your friendship, and follow your heart.


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: Barbi]
    #3062356 - 08/28/04 05:19 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

well i just took her to kennywood but i didnt get any hints... really fun time too . lots of laughing and just an overall great time... i think that there is some good chemistry between us but neither of us act on it


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OfflineUncleMike
Visionary
Male

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 964
Loc: S.W. Virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3064455 - 08/29/04 07:41 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Buy here a single red rose. Most women love to get roses. It will make her start looking at you in a different light.


--------------------
Live each day like it will be your last, tomorrow my never come.
SporeSmart


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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: UncleMike]
    #3075703 - 08/31/04 11:26 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

while that is a good suggestion mike... the only problem is that i want to make sure that this doesnt make the friendship weird and uncomfortable... i would hate to lose her as a friend even more than being turned down by her as a girlfriend

thanx again for all the great help everybody


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OfflineUncleMike
Visionary
Male

Registered: 05/18/03
Posts: 964
Loc: S.W. Virginia
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3078977 - 09/01/04 07:42 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

give her the rose and put on the card thanks for being my friend. maybe the door will get opened.


--------------------
Live each day like it will be your last, tomorrow my never come.
SporeSmart


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InvisibleScratcher
Stranger

Registered: 01/06/00
Posts: 2,323
Loc: eH
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3084476 - 09/02/04 10:13 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

A subtle smile everytime you make eye contact with her is a good start. Body language, especially the eyes, can speak volumes.


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Offlineentiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Male
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3087157 - 09/03/04 01:37 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

eye contact is probably your best friend man :-)


--------------------
/opinion
.sean


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InvisibleRoadkill
Retired Shroomery Mod
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,598
Loc: Snoqualmie, Wa.
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3090950 - 09/04/04 01:05 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Lets see here.
What is one of the better qualities to have in a relationship?
Friendship...without a doubt.
You can build a great relationship from friendship!~

In most cases women are friends with guys they are attracted to.
Not all cases mind you...but in most.
If they aren't attracted to you physically...then they are attracted to your personality...which isn't a bad thing either sometimes.

Eye contact is the best way to see how someone responds to you....everyone not just women.

Always be yourself...don't put on an act.

Ask her to go out and do more things with you.
Concerts, maybe a county fair, take her to a party, ask her out to dinner...etc.

If you ask her out to dinner...you might get a question on why you want to go out to dinner with her.
If she asks why...tell her you enjoy her company and would love to do something nice for her.
If she wears clothes that are nicer than usual...she might be trying to impress you.
Read her body language...and always look at her in the eyes.

If you still can't tell....be bold and just tell her how you feel.
If she is truely just a good friend she won't be offended by your interest in her...she might actually be flattered.
If by any chance she is upset by your feelings...tell her that you are sorry she doesn't feel the same way about you and that you would love to still just be her friend no matter what.

I learned that alot of pretty gals don't get asked out because guys are too scared to ask them out.
Women like a confident man...believe me.

Good luck to you!~
Let us know what happens.


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: Roadkill]
    #3096736 - 09/06/04 12:04 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

i know that she isnt attracted to me physically ... lets just say that im a pretty muscular (but fat) 5'11" 258lb guy...i think she likes being around me because im pretty funny when im with her... always some giggles as a response to my jokes... and thinking back on it... there have been a lot of girls i know that i can make laugh just by looking at them... like i did with her today... kennywood was a great trip... loads of fun and never a dull moment... help ive fallen and i CANT get up (but do i really want to?)


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InvisibleRoadkill
Retired Shroomery Mod
Male User Gallery

Registered: 12/11/01
Posts: 22,598
Loc: Snoqualmie, Wa.
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3098673 - 09/06/04 01:16 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Some women can look past a few extra pounds.
Some women realize that its whats on the inside that matters.

You are the same height and weight that I was a year ago.
I was pretty depressed for about 2 1/2 years....cause my mother died...and I just sorta turned into a hermit for a few years.
I'm still 5' 11"...But I've lost 30 to 40 pounds...still have a few pounds to lose.
I had a heart attack last year...and I changed everything in my life...I had to.
I stopped drinking so much soda pop(coke)...I'd drink over a case a day.
I ate alot of junk food...and really rich and fatty types of foods.
I now eat alot of fish and chicken and really watch my diet.
I smoked too much...so I cut way back on the smokes.
I wasn't very active...except on this message board...so I quit being a Mod here and got a real life.
Now I go hiking, camping and fishing all the time.
I go for walks on a regular basis...walking my dog down at the beach.
I lift weights again and exercise on a reg basis.
I started dating again....and was amazed at how many single women are out there.
I found a really nice gal and we are checking things out. :smile:

I wanted to live...I didn't want to die and leave my son fatherless.

I'm not telling you to lose weight.
But you might feel better about yourself and get more confidence if you do lose some.
But do it for yourself....your own health.

If you really like this gal...she probably knows.
She probably cares about you too.
Just talk to her.

I wish you the best.
Peace and Love!~


--------------------
Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!


Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.



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Offlinecrusher101
member

Registered: 08/06/04
Posts: 158
Last seen: 10 years, 10 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: Roadkill]
    #3099625 - 09/06/04 05:31 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

roadkill thx for the advice... id also like to add that i do lift... i lift 5 days a week and i do drink a lot of pop... i tried drinking water but the only water ill ever drink is out of a bottle... i cant drink tap water... idk why but i just cant...and the reason why i stopped just drinking water is because it ends up costing too much


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Offlineentiformatie
EvolutionaryMovements
Male
Registered: 03/06/03
Posts: 1,043
Loc: miami, florida
Last seen: 8 years, 4 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: crusher101]
    #3099824 - 09/06/04 06:20 PM (12 years, 6 months ago)

your health is priceless :-)


--------------------
/opinion
.sean


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OfflineSlapnutRob
Toolhead

Registered: 03/31/03
Posts: 520
Loc: Michigan
Last seen: 7 years, 8 months
Re: need some advice here [Re: entiformatie]
    #3101523 - 09/07/04 01:36 AM (12 years, 6 months ago)

Get drunk with her. I'm damn near in love with this girl right now and I was having a similar dilemma.... I like her a lot and was pretty sure that she liked me to some degree. The complication, however, was that I just joined a band with her and she hinted a little bit that she doesn't want to get involved with a band member. However, she still continued to be cuddly and friendly with me, and made it obvious that she enjoyed my company by doing things like text-messaging me to see if I was making it to the club, calling a couple times a week, etc.

I wanted to ask her out, but I was afraid that would be dodgy and would cause discomfort, so with the aid of liquid courage, and with my arm around her at the club, I said "XXXXX? Can I ask you a question which I usually wouldn't have the guts to?" She said sure, of course. I said "Are you interested in me or should I lay off because I'm your guitarist?" She said "Lay off because you're my guitarist," but this sparked a long, comfortable conversation in which she made it pretty clear that she likes me but just doesn't want to mess up the band.

I met her up at another club we frequent the following Monday, and she was now more friendly than ever. She found me, sat on my lap, and in the middle of a conversation about the future of the band she looked at me and smiled and said "You know Rob... whatever happens on tour stays on tour."

Maybe there's a future here, but it's pretty clear she just wants to be single right now (just got out of a 6-year relationship). I got in the open and things have only improved. I have competition and I don't see a relationship any time soon, but we're getting closer all the time.

I realize I've written a lot. Get her drunk and get it out in the open. Physical and conversational comfort are both integral in relationships with females.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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