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toilet paper
    #6428170 -

take 3 sheets and smush them up. this way you don't get your hands covered in shit. then, wipe. then, take 1 sheet and wrap it around the 3 you just used. wipe, then repeat until the wad of TP gets too big to fit. get it?

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6428177 -

lol sounds like ur trying to teach people how to wipe their own asses.....

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Re: toilet paper [Re: NShroomT]
    #6428182 -

and clog their toilets.

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6428983 -

wtf is toilet paper?

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6428990 -

your tek is too complicated for the average modern wo/man.

:earth: :yinyang: :shineon:


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Re: toilet paper [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6429016 -

I just grab 2 squares, wipe, repeat till my ass is clean. then I wash my hands with antibacterial soap.


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Re: toilet paper [Re: AlteredAgain]
    #6429024 -

AlteredAgain said:
your tek is too complicated for the average modern wo/man.

:earth: :yinyang: :shineon:


GAH!  Political language correctness run amok!  Why not "wo/myn".  That would be grrrrrreat!


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Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6429028 -

Just look where mankind has come,
olden days they used corncobs. :cool:

shit wiping faqs

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Re: toilet paper [Re: rod]
    #6429034 -

I actually had a dream last night where I was at this family function and I hid in some bushes and wiped my ass with a bunch of leaves. This mormon guy I grew up with was there, sort of watching over the younger kids as they were playing games. He glanced at me, but didn't say anything. The fucking leaves didn't work very well, though. My butt was still poopy.


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Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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Re: toilet paper [Re: GnuBobo]
    #6429057 -

joke:

why did the baker have smelly hands?
because he was kneading a jobby!


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let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love

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Re: toilet paper [Re: mr_kite]
    #6429067 -

I don't get the slang.


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Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!

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Re: toilet paper [Re: GnuBobo]
    #6429141 -

Also reads : he was needing a jobby. ie he was needing to go to the toilet and shit in the pan. Also baker, kneading, dough, kneading the dough, needing a jobby etc etc


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let yourself be silently drawn by the stronger pull of what you really love

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Re: toilet paper [Re: mr_kite]
    #6429279 -

I think he means "WTF is a 'jobby'?"

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Re: toilet paper [Re: RoosterCogburn]
    #6429522 -

i felt really good when i discovered this tek. i had always hated wasting so much paper, using as much as 3-4 squares/wipe. then i realized i could use the first 3 squares AGAIN. after the first 3 squares, its 1 square/wipe, and it can get down to 1/2 if you are careful

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6429541 -

I use two 4 sheet squares, folded over and over to protect my hand, for the first two 'bulky' wipes. Then one more 4-layer square with some spit on it for a third, lubricated cleaning wipe.

If it's all clear, as usual, I follow with an aloe enriched baby wipe... really scrubbing the rim.

This method cannot be beat. If you have even a few vegetables or some good fiber in your daily diet, your turds should come right out. The above method makes assholes like me happy.

BTW, I am stoned. And, wtf is a jobby? Is that UK slang?

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6429545 -

I just use an ass ton of tp for my bunghole.


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We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.

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Re: toilet paper [Re: Nemo_Hoes]
    #6429577 -

I sit in a plate full of gunpowder. Then I light it.

I use liberal amounts of aloe vera afterwards for the third degree burns.


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“The crisis takes a much longer time coming than you think, and then it happens much faster than you would have thought.”  -- Rudiger Dornbusch

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Re: toilet paper [Re: sleepy]
    #6429596 -

just use your left hand like the arabs


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read books

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