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OfflineLearyfan
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My bad trip
    #637147 - 05/20/02 04:19 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

This weekend I had a bad trip. I went to a "hippie" festival and camped out with a girl I know from work, and a bunch of her friends. The first night I decide to really go all out, so I ate 7 dried grams of B+. Now, the most i've ever taken was about 5 grams, and that was by myself.

So I take the shrooms, and walk around. I can feel how powerful they are. I'm looking for the people I came with, but couldn't find them, so I go back to the tent, and there they are. So I sat around and tried to talk to everyone. Soon I realized that I had made a mistake. I realized that I had taken more shrooms than I had ever taken before in with a bunch of other people that I didn't really know who were drinking beer and snorting cocaine. The one girl who I did know is the girl I work with, and we haven't hung out that much outside of work, and at work I act very differently than I act outside of work, so I didn't feel that comfortable tripping around her. I definitely didn't feel comfortable tripping around her friends. These are all the kinds of people who like to bust your balls all the time and fuck with you for laughs. That's just how they are when they aren't drinking and on coke, so now they're really in a different mindset than I was.

I realized that I had made a big mistake by leaving myself VERY vulnerable around people who dress and smoke weed like "hippies", but who are in actuality redneck jock types. I don't know why it took my 7 grams to realize this. THEN it started to rain, so I was stuck in a small area with them!! Luckily some of them went to go see the bands, and left me behind. I started feeling very uncomfortable at this point, and started to realize that I didn't like these people that much, and that I was unable to hide that from them, so I just went to the tent and layed down.

Now remember, these people were drunk and hopped up on coke and whatnot, and will fuck with you for fun if they feel like they can get some kind of upper hand on you. They had that jock mentality, and I was sinking deeper into my mind. When people asked why I was in the tent, I just said I was "too fucked up and needed to lay down", and luckily they bought it! So at this point I realized that I have made a mistake and that I want the trip to be OVER. I'm laying there trying to compose myself in case someone comes into the tent. Luckily again, noone came into the tent for a while, but that only helped a little bit. I was having a BAD trip in there. I was feeling like the devil, and that I was in hell, and when I didn't feel like that, I just felt like I was going to die. The reason I felt like the devil I think was because this place was "heaven" for these drunk and coked up dudes, and it was the opposite for me, so I must have been the devil. I was feeling like the physical embodiment of all of the negative energy at the festival, and even those the people I came with were drunk and high on coke, they are very perceptive. So I was very paranoid that they would come into the tent, feel my bad mood and fuck with me. I was paranoid man. EVERYTHING they said....I thought was about me, but my concious mind was saying no Learyfan, they aren't talking about you, you're just having a bad trip on mushrooms. At one point as I closed my eyes I was seeing these cartoon people who represented EVERYONE at the festival, and then another cartoon person who represented myself, controling all of them on a deeper level. I felt bad because I felt like I was in control of everyone, but I was in no condition to have that power since I was feeling SO negative!

As I got deeper and deeper and DEEPER into my mind I had to try harder and harder to stay grounded because I didn't want to start yelling and screaming and going apeshit because I inturpreted something someone said outside to be something bad about me. I kept talking to myself so that I wouldn't get lost in my mind. I kept saying "love, love, love, love, love" or "God" or something positive like that in order to steer myself in the right direction, which is pretty amazing because at that point I had lost almost any concept of who I was and where I was. I started saying "you're just on mushrooms Learyfan. It's a drug, and you'll come out of it." I started thinking of people who Learyfan knew in his life, such as all of my best friends and whatnot. I also thought of Shroomism since I remembered he was at the same festival. I also remembered to laugh because I remembered reading that laughing actually counteracts negativity in your body and mind or however that goes, so I tried my best to laugh. All of these things helped.

Usually when i'm tripping I have the feeling of being a part of God. This time I felt like I was apart from God, so I was begging God to make it stop, and telling him that i'd never trip again if he could bring me out of it. I knew that love of some kind of God would be the only thing that could help me. At one point, I did feel this devine presence there to comfort me, and it felt good. After that, the good and evil in me fought it out for the rest of the trip. Back and fourth over and over until it was over. I remember people playing accoustic guitar outside of the tent. They were playing "Ring Of Fire" by Johnny Cash. The irony made me laugh.

Towards the end, one of the most annoying and ball busting members of the party I came with came into the tent to pass out. I kept thinking he was going to say something to me, and that I was too fucked up on shrooms to act like I liked him, and that that would start a fight. He felt like the devil to me. I even had this fairly vivid image of me attacking him and then a bunch of people holding me down, but then I remembered that everything that could possibly happen in the universe has already happened, and that we can choose to go that route or not, and so I chose NOT to let that happen. I was proud of myself. Then later on, the girl who brought me came into the tent to fall asleep as well. Luckily I was coming out of it at this point. She wanted to smoke a bowl but I was like NOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. I didn't tell her that I had had a bad trip because I didn't feel like getting my balls busted at that time or any time about it.

So eventually, the God part of me won the fight, and I didn't competely humiliate myself infront of everyone I came with and everyone else who came to the festival including 3 other people from my job who also came and camped pretty close to us. I felt really good. I made myself forget about the differences between myself and the people I came with. I just realized again that those people are just another part of me, and that "there's only one of us in the room". It felt so good to be drinking beer and talking to everyone. The beer distanced me from the insane place I had just been. It grounded me in reality. In a way, it was one of my saviors because it took me to where everyone else was.

So that was a FUCKED up trip, but there was no harm done. This was my first ever "hippie" festival, so I got to hear and see things I had never seen before, such as.....

people VERY openly selling drugs
a fucking crack pipe(more evidence that the people I came with are very different than me)
cocaine(yes, i've never even seen coke before. I put some on my gums, but didn't snort it)
molly!(MDA supposidly) (didn't feel like rolling, so I didn't try it! Did get to see it though)

Got to smoke TONS of different strains of weed such as......
"beaster"(BC bud)
Blueberry
Skunk #13
Jack Herer
Misty
.......uhhh I can't remember the rest. Like I said, I smoked a LOT.

Drugs I heard were going around......
psilocybin(!!!)( that's right, someone said synthetic psilocybin pills were there! Me no try after bad trip)
shrooms
shroom's disguised as chocolate cookies
LSD(VERY little of this going around, but I heard a few gel tabs were there)(one of the people I was with got ripped off. He bought a "book" of LSD sheets for $800.00...........................FAKE! )
Ecstacy
bad shit like coke, methadone, oxy etc etc
some sythetic drug that was supposed to be like mescaline
..........uhh I forget whatelse




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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



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Offlinegnrm23
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #637198 - 05/20/02 05:45 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

glad you are OK now...
~
hell --- an interesting place to visit, but you wouldn't want to stay there for eternity...
~
~


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old enough to know better
not old enough to care


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InvisiblePsilocyberSpace
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #637202 - 05/20/02 05:51 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Sounds like a fucking mess to me, really sorry about your rough times bro, the festivals are all going down hill, crack, dust, smack, coke, k, x, are getting consumed at such a rate its horrid. I would never ever get close to any of the drugs at those shows, the pot is fine but I would stay away from the rest, synthetic psilocybin??? yeah right probably aspirin. Shady group, I wouldn't call them "hippie's" they are crack heads, there's a few good ones out there but most are staying home these days. People forget its about music.


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Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.


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InvisiblePsilocyberSpace
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Re: My bad trip [Re: PsilocyberSpace]
    #637204 - 05/20/02 05:54 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Guess the emergency room was busy in that area all weekend too.


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Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.


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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: My bad trip [Re: PsilocyberSpace]
    #637219 - 05/20/02 06:18 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Yeah, that's why I put the word "hippies" in quotations. It's such a watered down term at this point. Those people were mostly jocks and rednecks. Very little peace and love going on. Lot's of bad drugs going around. I realized that the only similarity to these "hippies" and the heads from the sixties is that they both like to do drugs and listen to the Grateful Dead. There's no positive vibe going on. There's just a bunch of drunk ass fucks getting wasted. It was like being in a drug bar in bumfuck West Virginia. Being around those people SOBER is a bad trip sometimes. Doing psychedelics around them is just stupid if you're like me.



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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



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InvisiblePsilocyberSpace
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #637234 - 05/20/02 06:40 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Its not the same lately, it wasn't always like this, I have been called a redneck my fair share of times and like to drink my fair share of beer also, but the consumption I have seen in the last few years its getting awful and the drugs of choice are getting worse, its hard to find a good vibe lately, hopefully Phish can get it when/if they go back on tour, I liked it when everyone was walking around hugging and shaking hands and talking about old shows and shows ahead and the bands they love, not screaming give me afucking beer at each other all night wasted, I like a buetiful buzz not trashed fallling around stupid.


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Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.


Edited by PsilocyberSpace (05/20/02 06:42 AM)


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InvisiblePsilocyberSpace
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #637236 - 05/20/02 06:43 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

any late night drum circles? jam sessions? hacky anywhere?
everyone to fucked up for that?
frisbee?


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Ours is not a better way, ours is merely another way.


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Offlinejoe666
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #637348 - 05/20/02 08:44 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Glad to here you made it through! That sounds like a VERY BAD TRIP you had. My g/f and I are going to a fest in june here in AR, the guy who puts it on is a member of ArNORML, so I'm thinking the vibe will be good, since he a norml member


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"A politician is like a baby's diaper, it should be changed often and for the same reason"-Coy Turner Sr.

"what is a weed, a plant whose virtues have not yet been discovered"--Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I'm sippin Hennessy, riding on my muthafucking enemies" -Meek Mill.



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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: My bad trip [Re: PsilocyberSpace]
    #638538 - 05/21/02 02:42 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

PsilocyberSpace: Don't get me wrong man, I have absolutely nothing against alcohol at all. I love to drink once a week or so, and I did at the show. I think I was just trying to communicate how different everyone else's vibe was compared to mine. I was in this spiritual mushroom headspace, and everyone else seemed to be drunk off of their ass and high off coke. Those two vibes don't match in my opinion. I don't ever want it to appear that I think i'm superior to people that drink or something because I drink to.
Yes there were late night drum circles around the fire and people were doing it in their tents. It felt soothing.
Jam sessions? Well, people were playing guitar around the fire and in their tents.
Didn't see any hacky or frisbee anywhere. I don't think either of those were possible. It was COOOOOOOOLD and wet.

Joe666 hope your festival goes a lot smoother than mine did. I'm sure it will the further it get's away from winter!

phrozendata, I see what you're saying about isolating myself, but I couldn't fight the overwelming feeling that this setting was heaven for these people, and thus...hell for me. I felt like the devil because of that. I couldn't fight it. If I had stayed outside of the tent those people would have fucked with my head ALL night, and I would have said a bunch of shit that would probably have come back to me at work. Hell, they probably would have taken pictures. I left myself EXTREMELY vulnerable, and I was trapped once it started raining. I had to do something to get away.















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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



Edited by Learyfan (01/26/13 12:26 PM)


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Anonymous

Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan] * 1
    #639542 - 05/21/02 07:18 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Damn dude sounds like it was a rough ride... but in the end you came out alright and probably learned something from it right? The God side comes through once again. That sucks because Friday night when it started raining is when I started walking around looking for you. Where were you in the campground? Because I was like 50 feet from the barn, right next to the fires next to the barn.

Oh well, you pulled through and it sounds like you enjoyed yourself aside from the bad trip and rain. If there's one thing I've learned from going to these festivals, it is be careful who you bring with you.

One time I brought this guy who wanted to go with me who's nickname was Death Metal Greg. I didn't know much about him, other than he was my friend's friend, and he listened to lots of black metal/death metal. Well, we got there and everything was fine.. we were waiting for some other friends to show up with the tent..but they didn't come that night. So we ended up sleeping in my car, that night nothing really happened, except I smoked some salvia with that guy and went into some crazy warpzone where I realized everyone in the campground was like one person but many people in a web of energy, and there was some outside force acting on this web.
The next day came and we woke up, chilled for awhile and the other friends arrived, I gathered some wood and built a fire and when dark fell that night things got intense. This guy was being very quiet pretty much all day, and after I built the fire he just sat there staring at it and occasionally muttering an incomprehensible word or two. Then came the acid, I took a few drops and so did he and my other friends. As the night progressed and we started tripping, conversation went from drugs to mind awareness to the universe and then to telepathy. We went completely physically silent and all communication was done telepathically. After about an hour of this, I began to feel a presence rise in this Death Metal Greg guy. His eyes looked dark and menacing. He first challenged me by proclaiming that telepathy doesn't work, after we had been using it for several hours. After that didn't work, he threw a log at the nicely burning fire, which should have knocked all the logs over but it didnt even move. That made me angry... dont fuck with my fire. I told him that he had to respect my fire or he couldn't sit next to it. Mind you it was dark and cold as shit. So we were stuck in this telepathic battle..in limbo... he was challenging everything and disrepecting as much as possible. I lookied into his eyes and he was not Death Metal Greg. He was Lucifer, the angel of light, master of deception. This battle raged on all night, occassionally a tripped out "hippie dude" would come by and ask me how I was doing, and then go to Greg and put his hand on his shoulder and say don't fight it man, it's ok, its all in love".. I did not know this guy but he knew exactly what was occuring. The main purpose of the telepathic lesson was to teach the cleansing aspect of fire, which Greg was challenging. When the hippie guy came over the third time, (he was a fire stroker), he jumped over the fire and a very putrid smell and thick smoke started coming out of the fire, as soon as this started happening, Greg was grabbing himself in the abdomen and wincing, as if he was losing a part of himself. The smell was that of burnt flesh. He was being cleansed.

Near the end of the night some "Hippie Children" came by and started dancing around us and singing. This confused Greg and he fell asleep sitting up. Eventually I laid him down on the ground and let him sleep without messing up his back. The sun started to rise and a new day began, The hippie guy came over one last time and gave me a pat on the back and told me I did a good job. I felt fan-fucking-tastic!

Greg was dazed when he woke up and didn't say much the whole way home. Later on, I talked to my friend who was friend's with him and he said the only thing Greg remembers from that night was that Me and him were standing at the beginning and end of time, and creating it. Interesting memory compared to mine.

This may not be the same thing as what you experienced, but I think it may fall under the same lines. It's ok to bring people to these places that will be "cleansed, but it's like babysitting.... either that or they will overpower you and make you feel like shit. That's usually not the case but it can be especially when there is so many people like at the All Good, who are there just to get fucked up and escape reality. Its best to go with people you know, respect, and trust, and have a damn good time experiencing the beauty and wonder of life. That's not to say you can't do that with "negative" people around, in fact that can be an even greater learning experience.

But yeah.. good stuff. If you come back in July there should be A LOT less people there and you can experience the true nature of Sunshine Daydreams

Crowd: Hey what are those moving lights on the mountain going in patterns and then into the sky.

Me: Oh that's nothing you guys are probably just tripping..


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Anonymous

Re: My bad trip [Re: ]
    #639547 - 05/21/02 07:25 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Oh yeah one funny little coincidence happened that when he threw the log at the fire and I told him if he couldn't respect it.. then he had to leave.. He did the first time and then came back and said no one else wanted him at their fires. So I said you can stay if you respect the fire, and he did for a while, then he tried to kick the logs in the fire over. That pissed me off, and I told him to leave. He said where am I supposed to go?.. there's nothing around but mountains and trees (We were listening to Iron Maiden at the time, and right as he asked that question the chorus broke out: RUN TO THE HILLS!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!) Then he looked really frustrated and started saying "DAMNIT!!"


Oh yeah.. also.. when I first saw that "presence" rise up into him, and saw that look in his eyes, I asked him, who do you think you are? He replied, (not in his voice) YOU KNOW WHO I AM MOTHERFUCKER!

Heh, just thought I would throw that in.


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Anonymous

Re: My bad trip [Re: ]
    #639549 - 05/21/02 07:28 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I battled Lucifer and won...you can too!


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InvisibleMeltingPenguin
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Re: My bad trip [Re: ]
    #639551 - 05/21/02 07:31 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I had a bad trip like that too once, except i realized i had already died earlier, and was already in hell, and the devil was just fucking with me up to this point, next thing i know, i strapped down to a hospital bed getting tubes shoved up my nose, and down my throat, pumping me full of charcoal.

I can def simpathize with your mental state, it sucks, but where there as actual bad stuff going on it makes it even worse. I still really fucked up, i have post tramatic stress sindrom, and i can't sleep some night, reaplaying the whole thing out in my head. Damn, people don't take these things unless you a chilling with good freinds!!!!!


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Growing anything is good for the soul


Edited by MeltingPenguin (05/21/02 07:33 PM)


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InvisibleSwami
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #639646 - 05/21/02 08:58 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

a fucking crack pipe(more evidence that the people I came with are very different than me)... bad shit like coke, methadone, oxy etc etc...

You are too funny LF. After reading all of the Leary literature, you do everything wrong, then judge others for taking different substances from you.

I wonder how many beer-guzzling cokeheads were on their knees begging God to stop their beer and cocaine buzz? If only they had ODed on a SUPERIOR drug...


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The proof is in the pudding.


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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Swami]
    #639854 - 05/22/02 04:00 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Shroomism:
Man that night sounded wacked out for you. I'm WAAAAAY too sensitive on LSD to be listening to Iron Maiden with some creepy guy(even though I like Maiden when i'm sober). I need The Beatles or something when i'm on LSD. Plus, it would have freaked me the fuck out to be talking about telepathy while on it. I can do the telepathy thing while on it, but if you say it out loud it just becomes way too much for me. It's a reality when it's happening, but when you say it outloud, it almost becomes a big solid weird vibe. I don't talk about energy and telepathy with anyone I know in real life, only on this board. It makes people uncomfortable.
Anyway, that was cool as hell how you said he responded to your question in another satanic voice. It's also cool how "Run for the Hills" came on when he asked where he could go. When I was having my bad trip friday I clearly remember someone turning on their radio and playing something from 2Pac which was just a small prayer, either to, or about God(no it wasn't DMX, it was 2 Pac), and it felt like everyone was with me, and trying to help me come out of it. They played that one little 2Pac spoken word thing for just a few seconds to help, even though they didn't know it. Also, it sounded as if they were playing "Ring of Fire" to make me laugh.....and it WORKED! lol


Swami:
I tried to clear this up with my reply to psilocyberspace when I said "PsilocyberSpace: Don't get me wrong man, I have absolutely nothing against alcohol at all. I love to
                  drink once a week or so, and I did at the show. I think I was just trying to communicate how different
                  everyone else's vibe was compared to mine. I was in this spiritual mushroom headspace, and
                  everyone else seemed to be drunk off of their ass and high off coke. Those two vibes don't match in
                  my opinion. I don't ever want it to appear that I think i'm superior to people that drink or something
                  because I drink to."

I'm not trying to sound superior, I guess i've just never ever hung around people who smoke crack, snort oxy or a lot of coke(I put some on my gums before my trip. It was my first experience with coke, which may have pissed off the mushroom entities.). I do feel that crack is really really shady. If you know someone who is into crack they're probably the kind of person who get's into trouble all of the time. I don't know how to explain what I mean exactly, but I don't mean to judge. When you pull out a crackpipe though, Learyfan makes a mental note in his head not to get too close to you, i'm sorry Swami. As for ...I wonder how many beer-guzzling cokeheads were on their knees begging God to stop their beer and cocaine buzz? If
    only they had ODed on a SUPERIOR drug...

That's funny Swami, and of course, very true. That night was drunk, or coked up heaven, which meant it was my "hell" because of my state of mind. I'll make more of an attempt to sound less judgemental in the future. But you know what?????

I FEEL GREAT NOW!!!! I mean it. Ever since I came back home I feel SO much better. I feel like a weight was lifted from my shoulders. Even though I had one of the worst times i've ever had for an hour or two that night, I do feel like(as Shroomism said) that I battled "the devil"(really just part of myself that I don't like), and WON! Man I feel so much happier now baby, YEAH!


Hey one more thing, did you guys really read that whole trip report?? I didn't realize how long it was until I tried to re-read it last night, and I couldn't even finish it myself. Damn, I could have shortened it a bit. Any constructive critizism is welcome.














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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



Edited by Learyfan (01/26/13 12:34 PM)


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Anonymous

Post deleted by Moe Howard [Re: Learyfan]
    #639943 - 05/22/02 06:49 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)



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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Anonymous]
    #640050 - 05/22/02 08:17 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I've reused pictures plenty of times.

Yes, I feel dirty when I don't post one. 














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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



Edited by Learyfan (01/26/13 12:34 PM)


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InvisibleRipple
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan] * 1
    #669897 - 06/09/02 01:00 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Was that your worst experience...sounds real bad and I'm glad your OK

regards,

Ripple


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The bus came by and I got on that's when it all began!



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OfflineLearyfan
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Ripple]
    #669974 - 06/09/02 02:00 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Yes, that was my worst experience. I almost completely embarrased myself infront of people whom I work with. It wouldn't be so bad, if I just worked with them, but i'm sort of in a managerial situation with them, so I don't feel like I can let them see my weaknesses.













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Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



Edited by Learyfan (01/26/13 12:35 PM)


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Invisiblesir tripsalot
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Registered: 07/10/99
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Re: My bad trip [Re: Learyfan]
    #670092 - 06/09/02 04:01 PM (14 years, 5 months ago)

Ya definately dont want your coworkers to seeyou in a bad way. Especially if your giving them orders The most I've done is smoked up and drank with them.


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"Little racoons and old possums 'n' stuff all live up in here. They've got to have a little place to sit." Bob Ross.


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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