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social probs
    #6242638 -

right well heres the thing..sometimes i just get so pissed off and frustrated with myself socially, i use to be incredably social and a very funny open guy..it just came naturally..but sometime after shrooming alot something changed. I use to think it was other people that was the problem, that i just couldnt relate to people because they are foolish and say stupid things, and i would hate them for it, But now i realise that it is me that is the problem. Im actually just angry at myself because i cant join in with the fun, my brain has jus closed off that part...so i usually just smile and end up lookin nervous. :mad2:

I have a couple of good freinds that i get along real well with and can have deep conversations with but apart from that im very self conscious around people. I dunno its just really frustrating...sometimes i will be fine one day, be funny and charming and all that, but then later on that day i could be right back to my weird state of mind...I seem to be very different to everyone in the way that my brain works.

... Any comments or advice good or bad would b swell! :grin:  ..this thing is really bothering me

Edited by beltane (11/03/06 10:12 AM)

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6242693 -

Don't feel alone, I feel the same way, and have become a recluse by choice. 90% of humans are idiots for whatever reason, the other 10% are trying to cope with their idiocy. Sounds like you fall in the 10% with me and alot of others.

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6243145 -

Your weird state of mind is a possible ego game. I found out that after loads of trips of mine that I thought myself better than people who had not. I came to realize that I wasn't, not even close. Just because you can't have a deep conversation with someone doesn't mean they are not worth talking to.

Sometimes all it take is just that once glance, with not one word exchanged.


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Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: social probs [Re: Penguarky Tunguin]
    #6244935 -

You're right when you say it's your problem. You're wrong when you say that your brain is closed off. That leaves no room for success because you are constantly struggling to do things that you would, with positive goals, be doing naturally.

It's like holding someone in your arms. You could think, "Man this is so great, I don't want this to end, I hope they know that I love them." Or you could just hold them in your arms and know that it's happening without trying to so hard to prove to yourself that you know it's happening.

People want you to be sincere and compassionate towards them. You probably want the same exact thing. You have to treat yourself the same way.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Re: social probs [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #6249999 -

I feel the same way and it is defenitley my problem. All these people are laughing it up and joking over 100% bullshit and it's never all that funny to me. I get angry/jealous because I can't figure out how to get in on the fun. It's defenitely my problem. Quitting weed always helps.


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Ishmael
http://www.ishmael.org

Ron Paul 2008!
http://www.ronpaul2008.com/

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6250403 -

Your description reminds me a lot of myself. Sometimes I say things that dont make the most sense and people, rather than giving me the benefit of the doubt, just tell me to fuck off or get pissed. I'm not sure if they really are pissed, or even annoyed, they just make me feel so akward and it drives me crazy. I must have rewritten this post a million times. I guess I have trouble getting my point across sometimes and assume others will know what I'm talking about. Last year for a long time I was just angry at everyone and untill I finally said "this has to stop" it didn't get any better. I had to make concience decisions about changing and force myself to take other possibilites into consideration despite how much it hurt. I was never depressed, just extrememly confused. Even now I have trouble being sincere with people. I think it's best to talk about how you feel first, without describing what you think the situation is because that can cause you to change or forget your true feelings.

Salvia has helped me through troubled times. I had completely unpleasent experiences that showed me a lot. (Tobacco + Salvia = BAD!) Weed can help, but so can abstaining. Soul food is very good for troubled times. Lately I've been addicted to soul food and have lost my basic pleasures. Telling people about my problems helps a lot too. I posted a while back a long rant and afterwards I was IMMENSELY relieved. It was almost euphoric.

Hope I helped you, I definitely gained something.


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my.web dev

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Re: social probs [Re: frostbitten]
    #6251064 -

PS. What I meant by that last post is that you care about what you care about. Sure, we should all give other people respect and be sincere towards them. That is not an option in my book because that is exactly what I expect from them. It's like how you treat your family. You love them and you do things with and for them whether or not you want to because you need to. How hard is it to give somebody the time of your day to say hello and smile before they walk away? That is a good thing and you can always be proud of yourself for that reason. Just realize that you are not Mother Theresa. You cannot give give give, regardless of the situation - like you are Santa Claus, and expect to be happy because you need to see results from what you give sometimes. You cannot analyze everything over and over, day after day, trying to figure out how to fit in to a relationship(s) that you really would rather not fit into. So.. be yourself and do what you do. Be honest and open enough to understand that. When your good friend makes a lame joke.. do you feel obligated to laugh? Why do you expect that in a group where you do not feel so close and comfortable? Why do you assume what everyone else wants rather than simply knowing what is right? I mean.. there is a balance to this. Do not get caught up in mind games and lose touch with what's important. You have to trust in yourself and know that things will work out - one way or the other.


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Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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Re: social probs [Re: The_Hobbit]
    #6252137 -

its a very demanding game to change your game to fit the game that is happening. you are in essense adapting to the present moment by letting go. like penguin tankery said, there is good in everyone... or, at least, there is a harmony to every situation. you can relate with most people, you just have to find the way. sometimes though, i guess it just is impossible for everything to be perfect like you want it to be? what is most important is that you are comfortable. if you get nervous try changing your point of view.

edit: i'm a hypocrite though, i have so many problems like what you are talking about. i think it's likely that the world is difficult to live in because that's the way it is. i guess if we are all open to new ways of being, living, doing, then we can change it to be easy, not anxious all the time, because right now it is pretty hard, everywhere it seems

what works for me is that i just try to be happy. and i notice that when i am happy other people become happy. or that when i am around someone who is happy i become calmer.

Edited by sleepy (11/06/06 02:38 AM)

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6253589 -

Mushrooms are powerful teachers that can catalyze a change in the way you perceive the world and the way that you act in it. It sounds like this is what has happened. Try to keep yourself open. If you find yourself uncomfortable in a situation, become aware of what it is that is causing the discomfort and what conditions allow for this to continue. You have the power to let yourself be happy and free, but this won't happen by doing nothing and hoping for things to change. You must be the change you wish to see :smile:


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"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6253644 -

If you truly want to connect, try to focus on what you have in common with other people instead of focusing on your differences. Yes, we psychonauts might look at the world differently then the rest of the maddening crowds, but we are still members of the same human family. We all breath the same air, we all seek to be loved and understood, we all want to avoid pain and live a happy life and we all bleed if cut and we will all eventually die. These are the things you still do share with others. Focus on that and you will find that lost connection you are seeking for.


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"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."

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Re: social probs [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #6254534 -

Hmm I like this thread because I suffer from the same things as beltane.  BUT I have been getting alot better.  Ok so I tripped alot and Its like what I figured out in the trip I never let sink in.  But its been coming back to me lately.

That or One time when my ego died I am not sure I got it back completely.  I mean I operate correctly But almost in an Autistic way.  No social skills but I reconize patterns like a mother.

I sort of shift my level of thought from a verbal thought to a thinking thought.  Its hard to describe so I won't go any further into it.

EXample.  I used to be walking and in my head I would overthink things.  Such as the placement of my feet.  My stride.  The way my shoulders move.  Dumb shit.  Then one day i was like "well....who the fuck cares"  honestly. 

Focus less on your position and more on the outer world.  At least that worked for me.  But dont SAY to yourself focus on the outer world not position so much.  THINK it.  You can SAY stuff in your head and you can THINK it in your head.  I think there is a difference....hahaha.

BUT there is hope just you need to find your path.  Life is fun let the fun roll on up.

Peace man good luck let a brother know how it turns out.
:rastamon:

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Re: social probs [Re: Tangerines]
    #6258565 -

if you are not familiar with Carl Jung, read his work on the introvert / extrovert comparisons for a little insight, or at least a different perspective that may help you relate.


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No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, or federal laws. All posts are works of fiction.

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Re: social probs [Re: kotik]
    #6262585 -

Thank you all for your advice alot of helpfull comments in there. I Have been trying to change for a LONG time, some days are ok but some (like the day i wrote this post origionally) just make me feel like im not making any progress at all...i think alot of the problem derives from an ongoing identity crises that really started about two years ago when i started shrooming..its like i dont know how to interact with people because i dont seem to have a social personality or identity..so i just sort get by talking to people as Tangerine said in an "autistic way".

I dont know its hard to explain, i suppose if i knew exactly what the problem was, it would be alot easier to work out.

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Re: social probs [Re: beltane]
    #6264092 -

It really does help if you have a good posture and you are breathing properly and have some energy. I guarantee your life would flip-turn upside down if you did what Jack Lallane does. He gets up, every morning, at 5:30. Works out for an hour and swims for an hour. Eat's healthy and only just enough.

Dude.. if you did that for a month you would be a ch anged man. It just goes to show.. there is a balance to stuff. You can change that balance by focusing in on different things based on what's important to you. So.. you talk in a monotone voice. The point is to express your point. You may suck at that as far as vocals go. You can consider doing what Abe Lincoln did. He talked with good friends about his problems and laughed about them. He read books outloud to improve his understanding of them and practice speaking.

You know what your problems are. Look for the answers and you will eventually find them.


--------------------
Smoking my hobbit leaf...
Please keep in mind that I am just a human being. Please read my posts carefully and interpret their meaning for yourself.

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