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Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you?
    #5652454 -

My goal with this post is not to ask advice...I am just venting.

I have yet to find "The One".  "The One" is the person who completes you, is perfect for you, etc..  I'm becoming increasingly antsy for "The One" to make an appearance because I am fast approaching 30. 

All of my relationships seem to end up in the following categories:

1.  Things are very exciting at first.  The excitement dies down, things get boring and/or awkward, and we break up.
2.  The woman ends up being horribly flawed (psycho, manipulative, etc..).
3.  There is no compatibility.

I don't want 2-3 month relationships that go absolutely nowhere (been there...done that).  I don't want to get stuck with a woman who is all fucked up (been there...done that...no thanks).  I don't want to carouse about at the bars and pick up easy women (boozed up bar honies can be fun but I'm getting too old for that shit).  I want a good woman whom I can respect and love.

I readily admit that I am incredibly picky when it comes to women.  The second that I see some flaw I start to distance myself.  Maybe I should not be such a perfectionist when it comes to choosing a woman? 

I dunno...I'm just bummed.  And I think this bummed feeling is a big cause of some problems in my life.  When the going gets tough I just withdraw (as can be evidenced by my internet addiction).

Hello Soulmate...where are you!?  :frown:

Edited by RandalFlagg (05/20/06 06:55 AM)

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5652462 -

you will be very lucky if you find someone that meets all of your expectations

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: goobler]
    #5652469 -

goobler said:
you will be very lucky if you find someone that meets all of your expectations


I know.

Should I settle for less though? Should I stop looking for "Ms. Perfect" and start looking for "Ms. Not-too-bad"?

Edited by RandalFlagg (05/20/06 07:05 AM)

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5652472 -

you will know...never settle, but be aware your soul mate will not be perfect, but you will know in your heart they are the one...

now the depressing part is you might not be theirs

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: goobler]
    #5652720 -

Never settle.

Just think 20 years down the road, will you be happy you settled for something you didn't really want?

30 is nothing Randall, I'm on my way there, I'm in no rush, if I find "the one" I find them, if not such is life, maybe they'll show up when I'm 40 or 50, but I'll be damn glad then that I didn't just settle for someone that really wasn't it.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5652995 -

hey at least you haven't already found her, and she didn't recognize you, because then you would be doomed to know exactly who your soul mate is, but never to be with her :frown:

keep up the search.  sometimes the hunt is just as exciting as the catch.

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5653034 -

Are you the person you would want to be with, if you were the soulmate you long for?

It seems to me that we attract those who are our perfect match...whether they seem that way to us or not.  They will match us emotionally and spiritually, and reflect everything we are denying/hating in ourselves.  :tongue:

Even imperfect relationships can be excellent tools for personal growth & emotional strength training.  Realize that you probably will not begin to meet women who conform to your high standards until YOU get closer to those standards.  In the meantime, you can engage in relationships with the purpose of discovering what not to do, and allow the imperfect connections to strengthen you.

:heart:

Edited by Veritas (05/20/06 11:33 AM)

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5653036 -

RandalFlagg said:
I readily admit that I am incredibly picky when it comes to women. The second that I see some flaw I start to distance myself. Maybe I should not be such a perfectionist when it comes to choosing a woman?




You gotta talk with your significant others man. If there is a problem, communicate about it!!! That is the biggest thing that people forget about in relationships.

Right now I am with a girl that I think I could spend the rest of my life with, but shit man, she has problems, just as I do. But the fact is, we compliment eachother well in everything that we do and we talk about our problems.


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: Veritas]
    #5653235 -

Veritas you always have the right answer.


--------------------
~Earth is the Insane Asylum of the Universe~

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to lose.

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: Veritas]
    #5654042 -

Veritas said:
Are you the person you would want to be with, if you were the soulmate you long for?


Oh God no. I'm kind of a weirdo.

I might as well turn emo with all of this emotional whining that I've been doing.

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5654113 -

yeah, thats pretty much been my strategy to finding that perfect person: work on myself. 

You shouldn't spend your youth chasing after and longing for women.  That would be a waste of your best years.  At your age, women are just going to screw you around and waste your time, energy, and money. 

Instead of chasing after women, educate yourself, make yourself rich and powerful, and wise.  Once you have achieved your destiny, thr true potential of yourself, you will have your pick of the litter.  Unfortunately, by that time the litter may not look so great to you :lol:

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: DoctorJ]
    #5655640 -

Thank you for the advice everybody.  :heart:

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: RandalFlagg]
    #5655767 -

RandalFlagg said:
Thank you for the advice everybody.  :heart:


You're welcome. Good luck!


--------------------
https://kenaisigh.bandcamp.com/ <- Just completed the 2021 RPM challenge for February - An EP in one month (5 songs or 20 minutes). Check it out!

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: Syle] * 1
    #5658245 -

If you don't already, but sure to make distinctions between flaws that you can learn to live with or even love about someone, and flaws that will destroy the relationship. I'm sure you mean the latter, but sometimes we find little flaws in people and put more emphasis on them than we ought to...the types of flaws that people often naturally mature out of.


--------------------
The answer to 1984 is 1776.

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Re: Hello True Love/Soulmate...where are you? [Re: Veritas]
    #5658570 -

Veritas said:
Are you the person you would want to be with, if you were the soulmate you long for?


:cheers: to that

You need to work on your relationship to yourself before you can have a healthy, loving relationship with someone else.


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