I dosed a little over 3 hours ago, shrooms, 3 grams, powdered, simmered for 60 seconds, taken off heat and given time to cool. I wrote all this as it happened. I did go back and add little bits to elaborate where I thought the text was lacking. Though the trip was short at 3 hours, I really dig the tea thing. I'm left with a satisfying tiredness, and this intresting text of what transpired within my mind.
11:00PM
legs and body cavity feel ticklish sense of motion affected, stationary movement - motion sickness spontanious laughter visual field contains a soft iridescent hue, fuzzy rainbows anxious feeling sometime a zing (the sound) feeling going through my head - it's almost like I could let go and fall into extreme depths of sensation but my mind prevents it, hovering at the edge puffy head, a strange calmness while the whole body is vibrating, humming. sharp sensations heavyness, the motion in emotion, a welling up from inside sickness the head swells with the same emotion as the body, but it comes on strong in waves, while the body is like a calm lake. zzzzzzzzzzzzzeee motion/vibration getting stronger my chest swells and feels like it's taking in some crystal clear elixar I want to focus on chakras, but feel danger, must keep attention elsewhere the smooth flow of energy running through the spine/back is nice words just cant describe the pleasure I feel like other people for brief moments, their emotional intent, the way a lip is held, eyes furrowed, a smile, this is a very odd facet of the trip, like dejavu through the eyes of someone else this particular lesbian porn girl, the pleasure on her face, the way she would move her lips, and how her eyes would light up, a smile like she was on to something strong. rainbows getting stronger, focusing, looking at them increases the pleasure in my thorax. weird laughter, crabs and lobsters, dead coral spongy offwhite, alternating smooth/creamy and rough/abrasive texture.it reads crazy I know. And then it becomes pointless to continue typing, the same strong emotions over and over, redundant in text, amazing in person. whoosh sensations there's something else/someone else in the room looking at me, examining me. curved shapes on the walls, overlaping, breathing, the window blinds seem to be moving as though affected by a slight breeze movement all around me, the singluar presence has become many, surrounding me, eyeing me I feel/see polygons, structured shapes and angles, it feels like my body is composed of these shapes, densely knit like the inner surface of a geode panic and pleasure play off one another, one giving way to the other crazy joyfulness. It seems like focusing on the others increases their focus on me. Now everything is vibrating, it feels like me and my chair are floating eyes open, an angel appears in 2d on the window blinds, caressing herself, now 3d, her robes flowing outward, becoming one with the ground, splashing upward into softly curved shapes A man appears with a tall white hat, growing and shrinking with the movement in the room visions of lovers intertwined, a mother suckling her young. wings on their backs. so much love, enveloping me. foggy faces appear with the body of a double helix my eyes are now decieving me, creating many where there is only one the window blinds are facinating, the way they subtly tilt, move to the side those in the room are laughing at me... now howling with laughter. They think it's very funny, me trying to write this all down. They feel my desire to control them, it's quite bemusing for them, watching my emotions bounce back to myself. Time seems altered, as though moving in slow motion is approperate somehow. They want me to quit focusing on them now. This intent compels me to continue thinking about them, and it is displeasing to them. They're all around me, even inside me, showing me they control the spiritual realm while I'm here rooted in my chair. So long as I reverently gaze at them, they're content to display their spirit for me, with a strict warning to not attempt to control them. They want me to know that this spiritual display is for the purpose of expanding my own awareness of myself. cold chills, alomst like bugs on my skin. Odd, because just a few moments ago I witnessed an ant crawling up my arm. I squished it between my fingers. It's laughing at me and my attempt to extinguish it. It's physical body destroyed, turned to dirt, and yet it laughs at me, grows larger than me. But it wants me to know that there is compassion in the laughter. It seems so free, like the smoke, and I feel like a dense rock, magnetically held to the earth. And yet, there's a part of me like that smoke, drifting upward away from the earth. I can move in any direction I choose, for I too am a spirit. Now I remember. So many souls together as one, hovering in space, vast and yet miniscule. My ego is like a deflated baloon, a thing, for now, to be tossed about and laughed at. And yet, I will need it tomorrow. Like a second skin I will wear it, defending me from the abrasive truth of physical reality. Defense against the notion of finality. Now I remember that we are all one, majestic and strong, gazeing at each others beauty in a timeless dimention, darkness and color intertwined. This is our intent, our fellowship. But there is a disturbance. The movers and shakers of this world are prisms, focusing light, disrupting our sense of calm... but to what end? So much pain and suffering, is it choosen? Or forced? Or simply a necessary component of the material world? A way to raise us from our sleep and realise that our oneness can grow and become a part of everything new and beautiful? Closed eyes I see female flesh, tatooed with foreign symbols of every kind, strong colors blue especially folds and loops throughout some dimention apart from physical reality. Crying, sadness from within me as though some thing of beauty is slowly drifting apart, breaking away from itself, shattering into countless pieces, of which I am one. And now the observers are somber and silent, wondering if this knowledge will break me or make me anew. I feel so strong, and yet my body is like a vessle of pain and wearyment. They wonder what it would be like to be me. I feel some resentment on their part, it is not their time to be flesh and blood. Yet they want me to know their negative emotion is not ment for me, I simply sense it, sense it's closeness. They feel trapped in the spiritual world in the same way I feel trapped in the material world, and our view of eachother provides comfort until the time comes for all to be drawn away into some great unknown that neither they nor I can see beyond. But it's all a part of the experience designed for our amusement and pleasure. To realise that we are all one, and that negative emotion is simply a mirror that calls us to re-examine what it is we believe ourselves to be. And so it is, and so I am.
1:32 AM
Rahz
-------------------- rahz comfort pleasure power love truth awareness peace "You’re not looking close enough if you can only see yourself in people who look like you." —Ayishat Akanbi
|