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Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten
    #5459339 -

I overheard this over spring break by this guy on the train. He was handing out the little christian pamphlet dealies or whatever and one of the kids he handed it to started talking to him pretty loudly. He said something about masturbating multiple times a day and that's when the guy said "Every time you masterbate, God kills a kitten. So think about that next time." I was like 15 ft away and burst into laughter, like can't breathe laughter. Definitely one of the funnier religous type phrases i've ever heard.


--------------------
“Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf.
I mean shit; they’re both books, right?”

Joe Rogan


R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: cookeman]
    #5459343 -



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"Psychedelics should be used not to escape reality, but to embrace it"


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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: cookeman]
    #5459344 -

The concept of your post is so old it is written in the Bible.

Try something else new and innovative to get attention, please.

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: danlennon3]
    #5459362 -

I have had this for some time now. Still amusing though.


danlennon3 said:




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Yeaaa im still alive.

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: kilroy69]
    #5459413 -

yeah, I first saw that years ago, and it still makes me laugh all the time...


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After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action.  If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it.  - Ernest Hemingway

If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it.  In the law courts, in business, in government.  There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.    -Cormac MacCarthy

He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God.  - Aeschylus

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: cookeman]
    #5459427 -

cookeman said:
I overheard this over spring break by this guy on the train. He was handing out the little christian pamphlet dealies or whatever and one of the kids he handed it to started talking to him pretty loudly. He said something about masturbating multiple times a day and that's when the guy said "Every time you masterbate, God kills a kitten. So think about that next time." I was like 15 ft away and burst into laughter, like can't breathe laughter. Definitely one of the funnier religous type phrases i've ever heard.


The funny thing is... the whole "god kills a kitten" thing was a joke at the expense of religion. I've never heard of a religious person saying it in an honest, non-sarcastic way. :lol:

It made him look bad, I suppose.


--------------------

I find your lack of faith disturbing

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Konnrade]
    #5459810 -

wrinkled_scrotum_cheeks said:
cookeman said:
I overheard this over spring break by this guy on the train. He was handing out the little christian pamphlet dealies or whatever and one of the kids he handed it to started talking to him pretty loudly. He said something about masturbating multiple times a day and that's when the guy said "Every time you masterbate, God kills a kitten. So think about that next time." I was like 15 ft away and burst into laughter, like can't breathe laughter. Definitely one of the funnier religous type phrases i've ever heard.


The funny thing is... the whole "god kills a kitten" thing was a joke at the expense of religion. I've never heard of a religious person saying it in an honest, non-sarcastic way. :lol:

It made him look bad, I suppose.


^Exactly. I guess crazy and religous mix up to be funnier than normal sometimes


--------------------
“Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf.
I mean shit; they’re both books, right?”

Joe Rogan


R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: cookeman]
    #5459818 -

there must be alot of dead kittens out there.

:smirk:


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Laterz, Road

Who the hell you callin crazy?
You wouldn't know what crazy was if Charles Manson was eating froot loops on your front porch!

Brainiac said:
PM the names with on there names, that means they have mushrooms for sale.


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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Left Nut City]
    #5459829 -

Left Nut City said:
The concept of your post is so old it is written in the Bible.

Try something else new and innovative to get attention, please.


I don't need attention. This the pub. A place for laid back talk etc. I was just telling everyone about something funny I heard on the train. The funniest part is that the guy was serious and it came out so non chalantly (sp?) So relax.


--------------------
“Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf.
I mean shit; they’re both books, right?”

Joe Rogan


R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Roadkill]
    #5459840 -

I never really liked cats anyway. I'm more of a dog person. I suppose cats definitely don;t like me either now. oh well


--------------------
“Let’s put it this way – to lump psychedelic mushrooms into the same group as methamphetamine is like lumping the Bible into the same group as Mein Kampf.
I mean shit; they’re both books, right?”

Joe Rogan


R.I.P. - "Bones" - One of the greatest people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and become friends with.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Roadkill]
    #5459853 -

Roadkill said:
there must be alot of dead kittens out there.

:smirk:


You are the 10millionth person to say that


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:dancing: one nigga run, two nigga run :runaway: :runaway:

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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Roadkill]
    #5459870 -

Roadkill said:
there must be alot of dead kittens out there.

:smirk:


I personally must have killed at LEAST a hundred thousand.


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Re: Every time you masturbate, god kills a kitten [Re: Revelation]
    #5459928 -

i hate cats. i'll be back in a few minutes.


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