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OfflineManannan
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 25
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Trip report.
    #4271602 - 06/08/05 02:05 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Here goes...just wanted to share this for those of you who enjoy reading them. Two days I ago I practically stumbled on three good sized cubensis in a cow pasture (I actually saw them from my car!). I went back yesterday afternoon, hopped the fence, grabbed em, and took them home. Several folks here on the shroomery confirmed that they were cubensis.

I had tripped before on dried cubensis, acquired through a friend who bought them. This was my first find, however, and I was extremely excited. My best friend and girlfriend are both working out of town, so I decided to just go to my folks' house to eat them. I didn't want to risk drying them, afraid I'd screw them up.

I wasn't sure what kind of dose three fresh cubensis (all about 10cm tall, 8.5cm caps) would be, but I wasn't concerned. If it turned out to be mild, I'd just relax and enjoy it. If it turned out to be potent, I felt sure that I could handle whatever came.

I washed them down with some Sprite. Feeling a little anxious, I went inside and turned on an NFL Game of the Week that I had on Tivo. About thirty minutes later, I found that I wasn't even paying attention to the game. I was entranced by the dramatic background music. With a big grin on my face, I posted once more on my ID thread and went outside for a smoke.

A thunderstorm was building, which I thought was great. Even so early into the trip, I could tell that the dose had been potent indeed. Before, I experienced visuals, but found that by focusing I could turn them off and on. This time, I had no control over them, and they were wild. The clouds were growing thicker; they swirled into kaleidoscopic patterns, and then resolved into shapes that I recognized from Greek mythology. It was incredible. Gorgons, titans and Gods danced, fought, and made love in the sky.

When the rain started to fall, it flowed over the concrete walkway in front of the house. The water looked about 4 feet deep and I could see thousands of snakes, or eels, squirming about beneath the surface.

I looked down at the porch and was shocked to see words streaming across the grooves in the concrete, spelled in multicolor letters. It took me a moment to focus on them enough to read them, but when I did, I found that they were hateful messages: "You are worthless" "What's wrong with you".

This freaked me out considerably. I looked away, and lightning struck. The thunder was deafening and extremely frightening all of the sudden, so I decided to go in. My mother and little brother were getting ready to sit in the hallway because the storm was intensifying quickly and the lightning was close. Mom got me a pillow and I laid down in the hall and closed my eyes. The visuals were insane: streaming columns and rows of words that I was afraid to read, bulging in and out, forming the shape of a fat woman giving birth over and over again.

At this point I could barely understand what my mom and little brother were talking about. I was listening to the storm, and had an overwhelming feeling of deja vu. I was certain that I had experienced this all before, could see my past behind me in clear detail and was somehow terrified because I couldn't see the future stretching out in front of me in the same way. I thought it could only mean one thing: That I would die tonight.

At this point, though, I was still able to keep a clear voice running over the tumult in my mind: "Your name is blank, you ate some mushrooms. In a few hours everything will return to normal and life will go on." I conquered the fear.

When the storm passed, I went into my bedroom to turn on one of the digital music channels with the nifty visualizations. By now time seemed to have stopped completely. I had so many thoughts every second that a minute seemed an hour, and, looking at the clock, I was amazed that not even an hour and a half had passed since I ate the mushrooms. The satellite was knocked out in the storm, so I just laid down on the bed.

It was at this point that I started to slip away. I forgot that there was anything that existed outside of this room; it was a struggle to remind myself that there was more to the world that what I was perceiving. I couldn't find a thought that I recognized as being mine. It was a struggle to remember who I was, where I was, what I was doing. At this point I couldn't remember that it had been my goal to achieve this lack of ego, I was just terrified. I fought it desperately.

I also felt an overwhelming lethargy. I couldn't move my arms or legs easily; it took incredible focus just to bring a water bottle to my lips. I focused on my thirst as an anchor; I was just waiting to get thirsty, then drinking some water, rinse and repeat. I was very frightened and if I could have snapped my fingers and ended the trip right then, I would I have.

Luckily my mom came in to check on me (she knew I had dosed.) Everything came flooding back to me when I saw her, and I was incredibly relieved. I asked her to send my little brother in to watch TV with me. I have dozens of Family Guy episodes on Tivo and, being 11, he loves to watch them with me. He came in and lay down on my bed next to me and flipped the TV on.

He is still at the point where he enjoys physical contact with me; I reached my hand out and he took it with a smile. Suddenly the whole nature of the trip changed dramatically. Everytime I felt his heart beat through my hand, it was like a spike of joy flooding through me so intensely it was almost unbearable. He was so happy just to be invited to watch TV with his grown brother; he chattered on and I just smiled and nodded at whatever he was saying. I basked in the warmth of his contentment, his innocence, his adoration of me. It was absolutely euphoric.

This went on for what seemed like forever; I couldn't follow the plots of the shows, but I enjoyed watching the colors swirl and dance on the screen. I spent the rest of the trip lying in my bed next to my little brother and watching Family Guy.

The only other negative experiences I had were when I had to go to the bathroom; it was extremely difficult to ignore the discomfort but also extremely difficult to walk to the bathroom. Every time I did and came back to lie down, I felt mildly nauseated for a while. Still, I was very happy.

All in all, it was a very long and intense trip. I regret that I became too afraid to let go and allow my ego to dissolve. I also regret that I didn't get to listen to more music. I am very grateful for the experience, though; I achieved depths of both terror and happiness which I thought were beyond my experience.

If you made it this far, thanks for reading. I hope your next trip is as grand as this one was.

- Manannan


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InvisibleOneMoreRobot3021
Male

Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 60,932
Loc: the sky
Re: Trip report. [Re: Manannan]
    #4271613 - 06/08/05 02:08 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Nice report! :thumbup:  THat's amazing that your mom is cool with you hanging with your little brother while you trip.  Sounds like you had a great time, whether or not the fear of letting go took over you.


--------------------
Acid doesn't give you truths; it builds machines that push the envelope of perception. Whatever revelations came to me then have dissolved like skywriting. All I really know is that those few years saddled me with a faith in the redemptive potential of the imagination which, however flat, stale and unprofitable the world seems to me now, I cannot for the life of me shake.

-Erik Davis


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OfflineLiveByFreedom
Catalyst
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Registered: 03/21/05
Posts: 652
Loc: Mountains
Last seen: 10 years, 4 months
Re: Trip report. [Re: OneMoreRobot3021]
    #4271743 - 06/08/05 02:41 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Yeah, great report man, i agree that it's cool you can trip around your family without having to be worried. I also think it's great that you just stumbled upon these mushrooms, obviously meant to happen. I've been dosed in front of my mother, she's cool with it, i even let her try DMT a few weeks ago. She's diabetic and really shouldn't eat mushrooms or lsd, although she used to in the 70's.


--------------------
"Everything is not as it seems." Eye


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Invisibleredtailedhawk
Explorer of the Mystery
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Registered: 11/24/04
Posts: 551
Loc: The Old Continent
Re: Trip report. [Re: LiveByFreedom]
    #4272513 - 06/08/05 05:53 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Great report man! You should check out the dream symbology of fat woman giving birth and ancient texts on Gorgons, titans, snakes and other stuff you were seeing. It may help you to learn a lot about yourself and your psyche.


--------------------

"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."


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Offlineoysterguy63
60's child

Registered: 04/08/05
Posts: 463
Loc: God's Country
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: Trip report. [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #4272965 - 06/08/05 08:09 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

I really enjoyed your report......there are some things that are similar to my last...which only reaffirms what happened to me and makes me excited to do it again. Nice report bro!


--------------------
Oysters...yuummmmm


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OfflineManannan
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 25
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Trip report. [Re: oysterguy63]
    #4273129 - 06/08/05 09:08 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Thanks a lot for the feedback, all. It's much appreciated.

Quote:

OneMoreRobot3061 said:
THat's amazing that your mom is cool with you hanging with your little brother while you trip.



Quote:

LiveByFreedom said:
I agree that it's cool you can trip around your family without having to be worried.




What can I say, I'm a lucky guy. My mom was a bit of a hippy when she was young; not much of a psychonaut, but she knew many.

Quote:

redtailedhawk said:
You should check out the dream symbology of fat woman giving birth and ancient texts on Gorgons, titans, snakes and other stuff you were seeing. It may help you to learn a lot about yourself and your psyche.




This is an excellent idea. Thanks!
Quote:

oysterguy63 said:
there are some things that are similar to my last...which only reaffirms what happened to me and makes me excited to do it again.




Since last night I've been devouring other report threads, also. It really is comforting to know that we're all on a similar journey (or whatever.)

Thanks again all for reading and posting.


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InvisibleRobMarley420
LSD Enthusiast
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Registered: 05/01/05
Posts: 12,540
Loc: Mushroom Mountain
Re: Trip report. [Re: Manannan]
    #4276319 - 06/09/05 04:16 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

great report, just curious, where did you find those shrooms at (what state)


--------------------


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OfflineManannan
Stranger
Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 25
Last seen: 9 years, 5 months
Re: Trip report. [Re: RobMarley420]
    #4276527 - 06/09/05 05:18 PM (11 years, 5 months ago)

Found them in a cow pasture near my home in Central Georgia. If ya wanna see them I had an ID thread in the Mushroom Hunting forum.

Thanks for reading =).

- Manannan


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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