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Offlinemikey_
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Trip Report: Forgetting Reality
    #929245 - 10/03/02 07:42 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

MODS: move if not in right forum.
---

Saturday 28th September

3 ? 3.5g dried Psilocybe Cubensis (home grown).
1g or so of Marijuana.

I?d been planning to do 3-4g of dried Psilocybe Cubensis for some time and as my mum was going away for the weekend I figured it?d be the perfect time to do it with some friends.
I?d tripped twice before on mushrooms from the same kit and had a wonderful time on about 2.5g.

I?d had minor headfuck before and was quite comfortable with this.
I?ve always considered myself to have a strong will and strong mind so I was looking for a trip where I could experience ego-death and loss of connection with reality. I wanted to delve into the inner workings of my brain and self and be in a true state of altered consciousness.

I fasted for around 24hrs and proceeded to arrange the house so the trip would be more comfortable and enlightening.

At around 8:30 my friends came round and myself and four others proceeded to eat around 3 grams all on an empty stomach.
Two other trippers eat around 2g each. We also had a trip sitter with us.

We put some music on the stereo, smoked some marijuana and waited for the magic to work.

About 20mins after ingestion my body felt great and I got a huge rush of euphoria after which I felt different. I got minor anxiety but a spliff sorted that out.

I checked the Yucca plant in the corner of the room and I knew if the leaves were shaking the trip was starting.

One other person who we shall call ?J? started to feel the effects.
A few minutes later the wallpaper started to flow and patterns appeared in everything. The carpet did the usual routine of displaying tribal tattoo-style images and moving.
The lights were bright and I felt electric. I sat back on the couch and felt although I was sinking into it.
Judging by the intensity of the colours and swirling patterns I knew this trip was going to be special.

I was captivated by the room and how alive it was. The closed eye visuals were 3-dimensional and I was enjoying it immensely.
I had wanted to draw and paint on mushroom so I grabbed my sketchpad and pastels and lay in the front room, drowning in the music of Brian Eno, ?Another Green World?, which is the most awesome trip cd.

I was sketching with pastels and when I?d drag the pastels the colours would flow like paint and random shapes and colours would drift and flow to form a picture. I felt so happy and perfect.
After a quick tour of the house I went in the garden which is the most awesome place to be. The long grass was waving with purple and yellow fractal tips, it looked like coral under the sea.
I lay back on a chair on the patio and the trees in front of me looked like an oil painting. The trees were vibrating and drifting and above them the clouds swirled like a vortex.

The ivy next to me looked like a cage and there was something trapped behind it. And I could see a living thing trapped inside breathing. Then ?B? came in the garden, he had taken a smaller dose but by now he was talking to himself and drawing crazy pictures in the sketchpad.

I lay back looking at the sky and faces appeared in the clouds.
I heard a rumbling noise and in the sky there was a flying saucer flying above the tree line with lights on. Another friend, ?D?, came out and I asked if there was anything in the sky, he said there was a plane. I was so happy that my trip was intense enough that I was having true hallucinations.
Then I heard noises like laser beams and the flying saucer was shooting at other ones. Behind other houses I could see lights eminating and I watched this show until it ended.
The clouds vortex would suck away the cloud until there was holes left exposing the sky and I would see flying saucers zooming past.

The noises around me were amplified and I could hear all of nature, I felt in tune with everything.

I lay back down on the chair and ?B? next to me, took on the appearance of a rabbit, and whenever he turned I would see huge buck teeth on him, I couldn?t help but laugh.

My head was racing with thoughts about life, reality and perception and as I was walking round the house I needed to lie down.

I had my computer on in my room with a huge mp3 playlist of good trip songs and a visual generator on.

I watched this for a bit and lay down on the floor. I felt slightly nauseous and the visuals were getting stronger. I couldn?t listen to music anymore because it seemed too distracting.
My computer monitor looked like jelly and I had a lot of trouble shutting the computer down. The keyboard didn?t seem natural and I was having trouble figuring out what to do.

I lay back down and soon I was sinking into the sofa bed. I was having trouble thinking about real life and how everything is when youre not on mushrooms. I couldn?t recall what life was like. I looked at objects in the room and didn?t know what they were.
I couldn?t remember what friends where or who I was.
I was getting thought loops that always told me this was reality, I was trying to remember my family and my life but it wouldn?t fit.
I came to the conclusion that this was reality and there was nothing before. I started panicking and tried to reassure myself. I wanted to go with the trip but the overwhelming sense of fear I had was making everything worse. I curled up in the foetal position trying to convince myself I wasn?t insane.
By this time the visuals were incredible. The object infront of me which was a chair, was melting away to nothing. The whole room had turned into a visual. There wasn?t a bed or floor. It was just a flowing mass of fractals.
The lights were off and I could hear voices laughing. I got intense paranoia that everyone was laughing at me having a bad trip and I got extremely sad. I came to the conclusions that the entire world around me was a big illusion and all my friends and surrounding were fake, there to simply make me think I was living. I didn?t know whether my eyes were open or closed, open eye visuals had completely merged with closed eye visuals and I had no feeling in my body. I only existed as an entity. I had no concept of time and I was simply living in that moment. I felt like I had merged with the universe and all around me. I had no thoughts, I felt pure and primitive. I felt like I was simply instinct. The universe and time had no meaning I had become part of it. For me this was extremely profound and joyous. I had never experienced such perfection and bliss. My visuals were of evolution and life and I felt and saw an energy which flowed everywhere.
Still I could not connect with reality and the horrible thought loops invaded again. I was stuck in a perpetual zone which slowly turned into my idea of hell. My head would not get off the subject of no reality and I needed something to bring me back.

My dog came into the room and lay next to me and immediately I cuddled it. My body drifted into its and I felt such empathy and understanding, I was connected to the dog on such a level that I felt like crying. I opened my eyes and everything around me looked like the matrix except instead of green and black it had flowing lines of purple and yellow energy.
My fingers melted into the sofa bed and I couldn?t pass my hand through objects that weren?t there. My senses were jumbled, I was seeing sound as colours and vice versa. I cant explain what this was like but if you experience it you will know what I mean.

After coming down a bit I managed to pull myself together.
I went downstairs and explored the garden again. My mind was tired and I felt emotionally and physically drained.

After a few hours of not doing much everyone went home and I had a few spliffs while watching Fantasia with Pink Floyds ?Dark Side of the Moon? as the soundtrack. The closed eye visuals were still amazing and I had fun exploring fractal worlds.

Even though this experience was terrifying and I was in personal hell for what seemed like hours, I came out of it with a perspective on life and our interaction with the environment.

I considered myself an explorer of the conscious and subconscious but I was hideously unprepared.
I wont be delving into trips that deep again for a few months because I don?t think I could handle the emotional strain it can put on you.

I learnt so much from this experience but I only wish I could have explored and remember properly the ideas and visions I saw.

To be in a position of such purity and to feel so primitive is something that cannot be described. There are no words that can explain how moving this experience was.



--------------------
The poison is the dose - Paracelsus
Let your food be medicine and your medicine be food - Hippocrates


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OfflinegeokillsA
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: mikey_]
    #929431 - 10/03/02 09:11 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

wonderful trip report mikey!  sounds like one hell of a trip.  and about waiting a few months, i completely agree with you there.  it's best to give the trip time to absorb into your conscious before throwing yourself in another intense situation.  too many trips too fast will result in a degredation of the experience (and it might make you a little nuts :wink: :tongue:)
 


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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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Invisiblezeta
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Registered: 05/25/02
Posts: 3,972
Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: mikey_]
    #929473 - 10/03/02 09:26 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

This is one of the best trip reports I have ever read.
Well done for expressing it so clearly, it sounds like it was an extraordinary trip  :smile: 


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Offlinemikey_
SURFING ON SINEWAVES
Male

Registered: 08/10/02
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Loc: Liverpool
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: zeta]
    #931166 - 10/04/02 06:10 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

thanks guys. my friends seemed to like it as well.
i gave it to my mum and she asked me if it was a cry for help!!


--------------------
The poison is the dose - Paracelsus
Let your food be medicine and your medicine be food - Hippocrates


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OfflineKaOsphere
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Registered: 09/08/02
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: mikey_]
    #931283 - 10/04/02 07:57 AM (14 years, 2 months ago)

yeah great report.....

u put right words ( if there is only words ?) on right feelings experiencing TRUE reality !!!

:grin: :grin: :grin:



--------------------
-=Follow the LIGHT=-


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Anonymous

Post deleted by Anno [Re: mikey_]
    #931983 - 10/04/02 03:17 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)



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Offlinemikey_
SURFING ON SINEWAVES
Male

Registered: 08/10/02
Posts: 370
Loc: Liverpool
Last seen: 8 years, 1 month
Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: ]
    #932808 - 10/04/02 08:30 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

i'm not totally sure but something tells me it was ecuadorian.
the pic below shows the mushrooms we tripped on, they were dry.
we eat all the ones on the black paper,



--------------------
The poison is the dose - Paracelsus
Let your food be medicine and your medicine be food - Hippocrates


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Offlinebaraka
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: mikey_]
    #933074 - 10/04/02 10:37 PM (14 years, 2 months ago)

Sounds like a heavy trip. I have had the emotioinal feelings about reality and life. It can be too much to handle at times and a trip like that is the reason im takinga much needed yearlong break of psychadelics.


--------------------
This is the only time I really feel alive.


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Offlineliftedoff420
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: baraka]
    #1620711 - 06/09/03 03:09 PM (13 years, 5 months ago)

yea i love it when your so fucked up off shrooms that your closed eye visuals merge with your openeye visuals

its like when your eyes are open...you see a huge mass of melting swirling things...and then when you close your eyes...its lke your can see through your eyes and still see a huge mass of swirling colors and shit


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Offlinesalazare
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Registered: 04/29/03
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: liftedoff420]
    #1848487 - 08/25/03 03:54 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

;D to nice id love to experience that someday.. i guess i wont shroom for some weeks...i built up some resistance to it...5g dry and no crazy shit exept paradoxal taught, sound popping in head but no crazy visual... well congrat.


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Offlinewhole9
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Registered: 04/28/03
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: salazare]
    #1848751 - 08/25/03 05:12 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

kewl. im sticken with low level trips but mby someday I will go to a 4 gram trip.. mby...


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Anonymous

Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: whole9]
    #1848781 - 08/25/03 05:18 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

whys everyone so afraid of a bad trip? sure theyre not really fun, but i still think its an experience everyone should have. Ive had them before and i just feel it showed me things about myself that i may not have been ready to deal with. A result of that is that i realize that things are bound to happen that im not ready for, and instead of fighting it, why not attempt to go with it and just try to adapt. Granted this doesnt always work out, but fighting it isnt a sure thing either. My advice is try to enjoy the trip, and even if its a bad one, use it as something that teaches you about yourself.


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Offlineteaker
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Registered: 08/19/02
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: ]
    #1849455 - 08/25/03 09:20 PM (13 years, 3 months ago)

awesome report man.. i had the EXACT same thoughts about reality and how you would snap into reality for a split second.. just long enough to realize omg i am goin crazy... and then start tripping again =D ... this was my first trip and I ate 5 grams of dried cambos... i guess that wasnt too smart to begin with. i dont think i ever want to feel that mind fucked again, but if i could experience the visuals that i saw along with the head trip, i wouldnt have to think twice about trying it a second time... =)


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Offlineigwna
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: teaker]
    #7585793 - 11/01/07 11:57 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

i will be honest..

i read about this losing track of reality and get quite frightened.

i really want to trip but i want to be aware of my surroundings somewhat. or the people around me.. i think i'd be afraid to lose contact with reality.

but the more i think about it i'm mostly just afraid of the fear.
i hate the feeling of fear. its the worst. i could deal with all that if it wasnt for fear.

how much mushrooms did you take man? i really want to avoid that high of a dose until i know what i'm getting myself into..
whats a good sized dose for when you didnt lose track of reality?


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



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OfflineKonyap
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: igwna]
    #7586091 - 11/02/07 01:19 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

shrooms aint for you then whole point to me is to stare that fear straight in the face and see what crazy demons your mind projects out of it, hence the whole learning experience thing


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Offlineeve69
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: Konyap]
    #7586924 - 11/02/07 10:57 AM (9 years, 1 month ago)

There's some truth to what you say Aiyobro though not exactly. In the comeup when the brain is making more chemicals the process of opening the mind is similar to being jacked into a fearful experience. This is the dopamine-serotonin, effect of the chems on the physical brain, but then after that the brain starts getting the flushing with pleasure response. Hence, one will go from the fearful to the pleasurable automatically just as long as they don't totally freak in the process.


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Offlineigwna
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Re: Trip Report: Forgetting Reality [Re: eve69]
    #7588053 - 11/02/07 04:14 PM (9 years, 1 month ago)

:tongue: nothings gona stop me from taking them though.
i'm going to go little by little and learn how it affects me before going all out.

i don't WANT to lose track of reality
but i didn't say i wasn't willing to for the sake of a trip.


--------------------
I don't believe in cops, bosses, or politicians. Some call that anarchism. I call it having a fucking heart that beats.



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