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 uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
 
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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 my addiction... 
#3975019 - 03/27/05 01:42 AM (19 years, 25 days ago) |
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we'll get to the part about me in a sec. -k-
In Vancouver, B.C...they're doing a study on heroin addiction.
Finally, "they've" decided to make heroin 'legal' to a select 20-40 full blown heroin addicts. They hypothesize that heroin addicts can be "productive members of society" if they didn't have to worry about getting high.
If they know that they are going to be high today and are high then they can stop "cluckin'" for it and find jobs and have a real life.
they are going to give the addicts 3 sufficient doses of heroin everyday same time every day...and want to see if by making it accesible and legal if the addicts will now "do" something with thier lives?.!
or will they just be like fuck it!!! i got my fix for now i aint gotta do shit!
???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
as for i am addicted to a drug(not heroin) too.
and i realise that when im high i tend to become normal and do stuff..like go to work..take my girlfriend out on dates...smile..etc.
when im not high..im lazy,depressed,i dont feel~~at all.
i dont steal,lie,pawn, or any of those "buster" moves to get high, i wait till i can afford to.,but if im not high...it's like im totally not here...like an old man with a blank stare...
i got a problem and do control myself alot better than most because i have work and the love of my life Rachael i go to college...etc.
but when i don't have shit.....i don't fill my shoes very well and others wonder whats wrong(ironically when im sober)
so, do y'all think that legalizing even the more "serious" drugs is possibly a good idea to explore? or is it just okay to legalize pot? 
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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I too have suffered from a serious addiction in my past. The answer here is to not let a substance exert this type of control over you. Assume responsibility for yourself and your moods and behavior. The answer is NOT in staying high all of the time.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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man i wish for nothing else than to not be addicted, but then im just wishing.
i am addict. i am not want(ing) [to be] addicted.
but man...seriously i do good, i don't lie i don't steal, i pay taxes, take care of the bills, i just need to be high,or have the re-assurance of knowing i'll be high soon.....
if i had the benefit of having "dope" everyday for sure and legally to boot..
~i honestly don't think i would have a problem at all...i don't do the drugs to get high.. im past that(for the most part) i do 'em to function. to be me.
why when im not high does my life feel like
its missing somethin'?
i know that i must be high,
so that i can function.- Carlos Coy a.k.a South Park Mexican
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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don't mean to 'bump' my thread but i want more responses. plz
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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 egghead1
Nakedly Open
Registered: 03/02/05
Posts: 931
Loc: The Womb of Love
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Consider the maths, how many heroin addicts die a year in comparison to say, people who drink alcohol and smoke tobacco? I personally think that both alcohol and tobacco are just as bad if not worse than heroin. The only reason that their aren't more heroin addicts than alcohol, or tobacco addicts is that heroin has been demonized in the media so much that most are afraid to touch it. Under that light i find heroin no more serious of a drug than tobacco or alcohol. But in my opinion both of those legal drugs are extremely serious, addictive and life threatening, but i would rather die from a heroin overdose rather than lung cancer or liver failure.
I think if heroin were legal and readily available to only current users who have been identified and examined by the medical services as an addict, this would be much better for two main reasons. The first being that the drug would be alot safer as its dosage could be measured correctly. Secondly their would be more opportunities for addicts to be more constructive because they wont have to worry so much about getting their next fix.
Maybe there should be a program for addicts whereby they get job placements and legal readily available heroin in regular doses throughout the day? But they have to work at their jobs and have a good attendance record and employer satisfaction for them to be able to get their fix? That i can see as being positive although it might be difficult for employees to accept at first. Does that sound to much like slavery? I personally consider an addict a slave to the drug anyway, why not make it a constructive slavery instead of a destructive one?
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All you need is Love! Really thats it! Infinite Unconditional Love! Just develop that and all else will fall into place perfectly!
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redgreenvines
irregular verb
Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 38,173
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 Re: my addiction... [Re: egghead1]
#3975248 - 03/27/05 05:21 AM (19 years, 25 days ago) |
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i think it should be legal.
absolutely.
i think guns should be illegal.
absolutely.
i think church and state must remain separate.
absolutely.
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_  🧠 _ 
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,888
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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Kick the habits. :P
all we humans do, is for rewarding us self.
hence, find rewards in being sober? 
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Disclaimer!?
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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guns? religion? not my ?
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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Re: my addiction... [Re: Gomp]
#3975558 - 03/27/05 09:15 AM (19 years, 25 days ago) |
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find rewards in being sober? Find rewards in being sober.
i find that the best reward when sober is getting high.?
but yeah...under controlled conditions i beleive other drugs should be made available~~~~~if one still neglects life...then he/she should have to deal with living and wanting.
my self esteem is higher when im high unless im being scrutanized by a loved one. if they knew and saw that the drugs help me function... then they wouldn't be as dissapointed in me.
we got prozac,zoloft,zanax,etc. to make people feel normal...why not heroin,coke,meth,crack,etc.?
if it were all legalized...less illegal selling and smuggling of drugs, and the Government would get like 95% of the money instead of 75% or so they get now by being bought off...
??????????????????????????/
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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Locus
Registered: 03/11/04
Posts: 6,112
Last seen: 3 years, 21 days
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legalize all drugs.. best way.. moneywise, rehabilitation, regulation and safety, etc...
although, i don't agree with taking meth, heroin, crack, coke.. whatever you said there.. in order to make you feel better in a way similar to antidepressants. because that just will not work. those drugs work in completely different ways and you'll end up worse and worse. having them legal though would serve many purposes concerning what i mentioned at the top. and for the addicts that simply cannot quit, well there are more options this way that would make it a lot easier for them.
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The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing. One cannot help but be in awe when he contemplates the mysteries of eternity, of life, of the marvelous structure of reality. It is enough if one tries merely to comprehend a little of this mystery every day. Never lose a holy curiosity. ~ Albert Einstein
"Fear is the great barrier to human growth." ~ Dr. Robert Monroe
~~~*Dosis sola facit venenum*~~~
*Check my profile to listen to my music*
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fireworks_god
Sexy.Butt.McDanger
Registered: 03/12/02
Posts: 24,855
Loc: Pandurn
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
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Quote:
redgreenvines said:
i think it should be legal.
absolutely.
i think guns should be illegal.
absolutely.
Why the personal favortism for the legalization of drugs, but not guns? There is absolutely no in principle between the two. What subjective variable of yours clouds this?
As for the matter at the hand, it seems as though you have programmed your mind in a negative way. What is the difference between sobriety and being under the influence of a certain drug? A difference in chemicals that affect the way something within you functions, of course, but when it comes to your state of mind, your experience of reality, and your own thoughts - what is different? Why do you force yourself to completely refuse your experiences while sober? What is so terribly wrong with this aspect of reality (being sober) that makes you deny it?
The simple fact that you have an addiction and openly admit it is reason enough to stop the addiction. An addiction has nothing to do with the drug itself (unless you physically "need" that chemical, but I know of barely any real physical addictions). An addiction lies in your mental programming, the mental programming that you've created (listen to your thoughts - what do you tell yourself?).
There is no benefit to being addicted to anything. The majority of people living on this planet unknowingly and even knowingly are mentally ill (they have addictions). What is an addiction? Its a demand that, if not fufilled, will cause your mind to punish yourself. Its a totally ignorant and seperating manner in which to function.
Like I was saying, the drug itself isn't the problem. If you did your drugs and everything is fine, and then you run out and sober up, but yet everything is fine, if you did not attach yourself to experiencing the drug, and let life's experience flow without placing demands on it, you would not be addicted, and there wouldn't be a problem.
You need to do some hardcore work on your thoughts and your mental programming when you are sober. In fact, you need to temporarily stop the drug use in order to give yourself the oppurtunity to do this. You need to stop the pussy-ass mind games you play with yourself, take a deep breath, and flat out, forcefully reprogram your fucking mind, man.  What you tell yourself inevitably programs your mind, which shapes your perception of reality. Sobriety wouldn't suck if you would stop telling yourself that it does, and stop comparing it to being on your drugs - they are totally distinct, unique experiences, and the more negative thinking you project onto an experience, the more intolerable that experience becomes for you. Relying on a certain experience to "be yourself" is only seperating yourself from yourself, if you follow me.  "When I'm on drugs, I function like I should and I act like me and I am me, but when I'm sober, I don't seem to be myself and I feel like I'm not myself". EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE, EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT YOU'VE EVER HAD IS YOURSELF, my friend, and to ruin your state of being in any situation, no matter what is going on or what you have or haven't partaken serves no point. Don't seperate yourself from yourself. 
Stop punishing yourself when you don't have your drugs. Stop creating a sense of identity around your drug use. Stop creating your addiction. 
 
Peace. 
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If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
  
 
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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Quote:
fireworks_god said:
Quote:
redgreenvines said:
i think it should be legal.
absolutely.
i think guns should be illegal.
absolutely.
Why the personal favortism for the legalization of drugs, but not guns? There is absolutely no in principle between the two. What subjective variable of yours clouds this?
As for the matter at the hand, it seems as though you have programmed your mind in a negative way. What is the difference between sobriety and being under the influence of a certain drug? A difference in chemicals that affect the way something within you functions, of course, but when it comes to your state of mind, your experience of reality, and your own thoughts - what is different? Why do you force yourself to completely refuse your experiences while sober? What is so terribly wrong with this aspect of reality (being sober) that makes you deny it?
The simple fact that you have an addiction and openly admit it is reason enough to stop the addiction. An addiction has nothing to do with the drug itself (unless you physically "need" that chemical, but I know of barely any real physical addictions). An addiction lies in your mental programming, the mental programming that you've created (listen to your thoughts - what do you tell yourself?).
There is no benefit to being addicted to anything. The majority of people living on this planet unknowingly and even knowingly are mentally ill (they have addictions). What is an addiction? Its a demand that, if not fufilled, will cause your mind to punish yourself. Its a totally ignorant and seperating manner in which to function.
Like I was saying, the drug itself isn't the problem. If you did your drugs and everything is fine, and then you run out and sober up, but yet everything is fine, if you did not attach yourself to experiencing the drug, and let life's experience flow without placing demands on it, you would not be addicted, and there wouldn't be a problem.
You need to do some hardcore work on your thoughts and your mental programming when you are sober. In fact, you need to temporarily stop the drug use in order to give yourself the oppurtunity to do this. You need to stop the pussy-ass mind games you play with yourself, take a deep breath, and flat out, forcefully reprogram your fucking mind, man. What you tell yourself inevitably programs your mind, which shapes your perception of reality. Sobriety wouldn't suck if you would stop telling yourself that it does, and stop comparing it to being on your drugs - they are totally distinct, unique experiences, and the more negative thinking you project onto an experience, the more intolerable that experience becomes for you. Relying on a certain experience to "be yourself" is only seperating yourself from yourself, if you follow me. "When I'm on drugs, I function like I should and I act like me and I am me, but when I'm sober, I don't seem to be myself and I feel like I'm not myself". EVERY SINGLE EXPERIENCE, EVERY SINGLE THOUGHT YOU'VE EVER HAD IS YOURSELF, my friend, and to ruin your state of being in any situation, no matter what is going on or what you have or haven't partaken serves no point. Don't seperate yourself from yourself.
Stop punishing yourself when you don't have your drugs. Stop creating a sense of identity around your drug use. Stop creating your addiction.
Peace.
i disagree about creating the addiction. it would've been true about 4 years ago when i started doing it,but now i am mentally (slightly physical but not really) addicted. period. mentally is worse... fuckin' they got drugs to help you when you're detoxing and chemically withdrawing from shit, but there is no drug to fix your mind!! i can't get you to understand what it's like... i hate it, yet it makes me a better me. and when i don't have any it makes me not enjoy life. and that's bad.
i don't think i need regulated doses from the gov't to live happy forever, but if i never ran out.......i'd be most content even knowing i had to have a drug help me.
i do take breaks from it.....when i feel its doin me and ive stopped doin it.
and reflecting when sober is like trying to walk a straight line when you're drunk.
reflecting when im sober is one of the worse things i can do to myself..depression,anger,remorse,sadness. i dont want to feel that ever!
you know?
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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locus said: although, i don't agree with taking meth, heroin, crack, coke.. whatever you said there.. in order to make you feel better in a way similar to antidepressants. because that just will not work
explain.
of course it works!!!! why else would one take drugs if they dont get the same high or any high really from them? antidepressants don't get you high but they give ya a little somethin that helps you through the day.
getting shit when im out...cheers me right up and the rest of the time i got shit, i am a happier person, better boyfriend,student,employee,etc.
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
Edited by uriahchase (03/27/05 11:25 AM)
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Gomp
¡(Bound to·(O))be free!
Registered: 09/11/04
Posts: 10,888
Loc: I re·side [primarily] in...
Last seen: 1 year, 1 month
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"i find that the best reward when sober is getting high.?"
so find a reward in being sober? :P
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Disclaimer!?
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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"man i wish for nothing else than to not be addicted, but then im just wishing.
i am addict. i am not want(ing) [to be] addicted."
Then lose the addiction. It just takes time and effort. I did it with alcohol which is notoriously hard to quit for a person with genetic links to alcoholism. I believe you are a good person. Being addicted to something does not make you bad...merely addicted. The strength you gain from quitting will serve you well. You will develop a sense of discipline that all non-addicts will rarely experience. Stopping a bad addiction tempers the soul. Just don't become a fanatic afterwards or you will lose that strength...because you just gained a new addiction...fanaticism. I have seen many people quit a drug and get addicted to religion in a dependant way. They aren't stoned, but they are even more intolerable than before. Addictions...even ones that are controlled...steal our personal power and will to further ourselves.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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huehuecoyotl: what you say is true.
try to stop being? being is doing what you are. i am therefore i am. in order to not be i would have to re-do doing what i am?
answers everywhere...just not enough questions.
to stop doing being i must be undone, and re-do doing to become...?
i am. no reset button in life. i know what i should have not done years ago but i did and now i have to deal with being me. i only know one way.
Gomp: reward in being sober?....i'll seriously search for one.
Thank You
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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uriahchase
Skinny White Boy
Registered: 09/25/04
Posts: 675
Loc: SoCal
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one last check..? so do y'all think that in extreme cases where the addiction controls all daily task.... should that drug be regulated and made available..to those who show self determination to succeed in life..but know that the addiction is already "them" and there isn't any other way to live a happy life.????
i vote yes, give it a whirl!
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Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are -Kurt Cobain
Hotter than the left sink handle.
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop
Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Re: my addiction... [Re: egghead1]
#3977728 - 03/27/05 08:50 PM (19 years, 24 days ago) |
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Quote:
egghead1 said:
Consider the maths, how many heroin addicts die a year in comparison to say, people who drink alcohol and smoke tobacco? I personally think that both alcohol and tobacco are just as bad if not worse than heroin. The only reason that their aren't more heroin addicts than alcohol, or tobacco addicts is that heroin has been demonized in the media so much that most are afraid to touch it. Under that light i find heroin no more serious of a drug than tobacco or alcohol. But in my opinion both of those legal drugs are extremely serious, addictive and life threatening, but i would rather die from a heroin overdose rather than lung cancer or liver failure.
I think if heroin were legal and readily available to only current users who have been identified and examined by the medical services as an addict, this would be much better for two main reasons. The first being that the drug would be alot safer as its dosage could be measured correctly. Secondly their would be more opportunities for addicts to be more constructive because they wont have to worry so much about getting their next fix.
Maybe there should be a program for addicts whereby they get job placements and legal readily available heroin in regular doses throughout the day? But they have to work at their jobs and have a good attendance record and employer satisfaction for them to be able to get their fix? That i can see as being positive although it might be difficult for employees to accept at first. Does that sound to much like slavery? I personally consider an addict a slave to the drug anyway, why not make it a constructive slavery instead of a destructive one?
^^^^^^
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Huehuecoyotl
Fading Slowly
Registered: 06/13/04
Posts: 10,689
Loc: On the Border
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All drugs ahould be legal...BUT your solution for using it as a "cure" for addiction is illogical and incomplete. You are still left to the mercy of a substance which leaves one weak. I have a friend who is addicted to "legal" painkillers because of a chronic pain issue. It has been 10 years now and they are dying rapidly due to liver disease. Everytime I see this person they fade a little more. One day soon they will be gone...they will shrivel up and die in a drug induced haze. This is only a forty year old person.
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"A warrior is a hunter. He calculates everything. That's control. Once his calculations are over, he acts. He lets go. That's abandon. A warrior is not a leaf at the mercy of the wind. No one can push him; no one can make him do things against himself or against his better judgment. A warrior is tuned to survive, and he survives in the best of all possible fashions." ― Carlos Castaneda
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efrog
Ecstatic,Electric,Eclectic
Registered: 01/11/05
Posts: 1,146
Loc: Near the River...
Last seen: 13 years, 6 months
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*Dons flame retardant suit before venturing any further on this topic*
I think that people who use an illicit drug to feel "normal" should get clean and then check into whether or not they have a chemical imbalance which makes them feel NOT normal.
Also: I think that people who are addicted to drugs cannot see past the excuse to get high.
I hear "I pay the bills, I pay my taxes, I pay this and buy that" but it's not really ABOUT THAT is it?
If you're living only to "pay the bills and the taxes" then that's to me, not living, but surviving. Like everybody else. I do not mean to be rude, really, but pardon me if I am not impressed.
I mean, it's like: If you pay the taxes and the bills that = a good and happy person?
How did that ever REALLY matter outside of in a very mundane way?
Not to ME it doesn't. I want a vacation, I want the extra money to hop on a flight and go see friends, I want to be able to see those friends without sneaking off to their bathroom for a hit. I want to go about unencumbered with that stuff.
People who do not have an expensive heroin habit (for example) ALSO pay the bills and the taxes, and do NOT have ugly scars up and down their arms and other parts, do not put their lives at risk and give their family and friends cause to worry about them *indefinitely*, and they get to go on vacation, wake up and feel normal, focus on goals in life other than the next hit, not barf or pass out and burn their furniture with a cigarette, not shake and lose it when the dealer doesn't come through, and on and on.
Now, maybe some people are VERY well off and can live a perfectly normal life AND get high 3+ times a day, but I'm finding that scenario not bloody likely for most people who say: "I pay the bills and the taxes...etc."
What amazes me is when people say things like: "I am not doing it to get high, I am past that. I am doing it to be NORMAL." Well what is the POINT of that?
Don't you think that maybe, possibly, it's just an excuse?
That MAYBE this person has a chemical imbalance and to treat it, they need to get off the dope and seek medical attention then they would feel normal? Also? This person was not born an aaddict, right? So they DID feel normal at one time without the drugs, right? So, logic states that they can again.
I don't mean to be judgemental here, I am merely stating what seems to me are basic facts.
Anyway, as to legalizing? I don't personally care one way or the other. I guess it would be the smartest way for the government, as in, you would just be giving more money to them, instead of a good percent of your paycheck, you would give them MOST of it and lose yet more freedom to go and do what you like in life. It would certainly give the government more, if not complete control over you and every other addict - so that's good for them I guess.
My question to you though is this: How would that be good for you? How would that be any better than *only* the drug having control over you right now?
I personally cannot think of a better way to get a whole ton of people completely under my control than to set them up with their drugs that they can get from me and only from me, and cleaner and higher grade so the addiction is is even stronger and they pay me to be under my control to boot. I could rule the World.
Winwin situation for the government and that just scares the shit out of me, for your sake and for mine. All I can say is: See a History book + Nazi Germany. People were ratting out their own neighbors and close friends for FOOD because the "government" controlled the food. Now imagine this with a drug like heroin. Yikes, or?
However, I don't care if it's legal or not. If people who need it want it to be legal and they really think that would help them to live a normal life instead of always looking for the next hit, then more power to them. I personally don't think it will help, but I am not them so I will let them decide that one, even if the reason behind the decision is only the addiction talking for them aand not anything else.
I guess I just don't look forward to the day when today's addicts are tomorrow's soldiers/snitches/moles.
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This is a whole new path. You cannot use your old map on this new path and if you try you'll only end up lost in the woods. Get a new map.
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