I started smoking WEED about 12 months ago, but havent smoked for the past 3 months, well small amounts, and I will tell you why.
When I first started smoking, I really enjoyed it. After a few months, I started smoking more amounts on the 2 or 3 days a week I did it.
Then after about 7 months I started smoking even more amounts and sometimes up to 4 times a week.
I always ignored the pounding in my chest. My heart would feel like it was going to F**K** EXPLODE. It worried me a lot, because I have a heart murmer, that I was born with. But the pounding in my heart would usually go away after about 30 mins, then I would enjoy the high.
Now in general I tend to be a somewhat nervous person. So the weed helped me relax. And it was also something to entertain myself with. Because of a few medical problems I have, I live a limited life.
About 2 months ago, I had something very upsetting happen in my life. Let me just say I lost something that was very dear to me. I also live with two cronic medical conditions, that limit from doing a lot of things I would like to do, mainly because I am in pain and always feel sick to my stomach.
Well weed was my escape, I enjoyed it SO MUCH, I smoked and smoked. And I also found that when stuck home on a weekday not hanging with friends, I would smoke up lots and fool around on the computer. I could spend hours entertaining myself on the computer. It was a great way to pass the time away in my boring life.
Well a few days after the disaster in my life, I was smoking heavy, still enjoying it, and it helped me escape reality.
I awoke one morning with what felt like a racing heart. I had trouble breathing, and this would come in go in epsiodes. Of course I stopped SMOKING right away.
But the symptons returned. Finally on DAY 5 I felt exhausted and breathless. I could no longer take it, and had a friend drive me to the ER on a Sunday night.
Now I have never done any other drugs in my life but marijuana, but I do drink heavy once or twice a week. I also never have smoked cigarettes only marijuana.
When I got into the ER, I could barely explain what was wrong I was so out of breath. They took my blood presure first and told me it was a little high.
They then hooked me up to a heart monitor, they told me my heart rate was exactly 180 beats per min. I was actually turning white, I felt at that moment I was having a heart-attack. The quickly gave me and IV, brought down my heart rate, gave me a Xanax and sent me home 4 hours later.
It took me 2 months for the pains to go away in my chest. Of course I have no insurance, but needed to have my heart murmer completly checked out again. So after lots of test, ecocartograms, etc, etc, my heart doctor said my heart murmer is FINE, and has not changed since it was last checked out roughly 10 years ago.
Of course after this I swore to GOD I would never smoke again. But one night I tried smoking some of the same batch then I think caused this whole epsiode.
I smoked just a 3 small hits from my bowl. Again my heart started to POUND! I had a brutal anxiety attack, no one home and no one to help calm me, (but I couldn't have told parents I was having an anxity attack from smoking weed, they dont know I smoke even though I am 24 years old) I took a DOUBLE XANAX and it didn't DO A THING. I had to sweat it out for almost 3 hours. I hoped that my heart would come back down and it did.
The next day I flushed the remaining weed. One month later I tried smoking again with a close friend. This time I took just 1 small hit. I felt good, of course I had a few beers in me (atleast 8) so I took another bigger hit. Then the same thing, not as bad this time, but the terribly anxiety was there. I tryed everthing to hide it from my friend, and I just couldnt. This panic attack did not last nearly as long, perhaps because I was very drunk.
Now after another 3 months I haven't smoked since. No matter even if I smoke a drop, My mind constantly worries about my heart rate, and in-turn I cannot enjoy the HIGH AT ALL.
I am so disapointed, my smoking career of about 7 months is now over. I miss smoking weed so much, it helped me get through most of my boring days of life. It also helped me escape reality and forget about my (not life-threating), but just annoying inconvient illness.
Now I keep thinking about growing my own shrooms. I have been reading about them for almost 3 years. But still have never tried them.
I dunno if my whole epsiode with my heart was brought on, by the terrible thing that happened in my life, combined with the heavy smoking lack of excersise at the time, and heavy drinking?
I dunno what to think. I do know that in my mind I can no longer smoke, because the only thing I can think about after taking a HIT is my heart rate.
Very disapointed. I find myself trying to find some other type of drug, that could remove me from reality just for a little while. Weed was perfect. To afraid to try anything else, have been considering mushrooms, really the only other drug I think I would try, but wondering if I cant handle a GOOD stone anymore, I would probably FREAK on shrooms.
I think maybe I could try popping a good dose of Xanex before smoking, but I don't want to get into that habbit.
Desperate for any advice from anyone here.
Should I even consider a small amount of shrooms, or am I asking for a disaster?
Yesterday night for the first time I actually smoked some weed with a friend and had a good time. I did take a Xanex 45 minutes prior to smoking, so I guess that is why I didnt have much anxiety.
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