Auto-SummaryThe writer shares a bizarre and unsettling experience that occurred after a basketball game, where he and a friend witnessed a man in a car accident and then felt an intense, inexplicable fear that lingered long after the incident. The writer's account spirals into a philosophical and introspective exploration of mortality, the nature of evil, and the importance of living in the present moment. He reflects on his own life, family, and relationships, and grapples with the idea of making peace with himself and those around him before moving forward. The writer suggests that psychedelics like shrooms can be a catalyst for self-discovery and introspection, but also warns that they are not a means of escapism or avoidance of problems. Ultimately, the writer arrives at a profound realization about the importance of appreciating the beauty and wonder of life, and the dangers of becoming disconnected from the world and ourselves.
Allright, my friend J and i were wrappin up a game of b ball and when we were walking to our cars we saw this other dude gettin in his car. I was a little suspicious cus i didnt see his car when i pulled up and don't remember seeing him pull up. I was kinda paranoid and thought maybe he stole something out of my car, because i had my tunes loud with the keys in my car . but upon inspection nothing seemed missing, I just figured I was being stupid or had smoked too much weed. I thought he was gonna leave when he pulled over to the pay phone. I didn't really think much about it at this point, but then J and I heard the car HIT the wooden gaurd rail. We were confused but amused none the less. We talked a little bit more as he got into his car and i pulled away right before him. Now heres where things get a little freaky, when i peaked a look at this dude, I swear he had no face. Not like the man without a face shit, I mean like fuckin Jacobs ladder type no face, all i could make out clearly were eyes. I didn't realize it at first because I was overwhelmed my a tremendous sensation of fear. My first organized thought was that he had placed a bomb in my car, and that it was gonna go off by means of some random unspecified act. Like maybe when i turned on the radio, or went over say 15 mph, or maybe when i used my blinker, and the such. I managed to make it most of the way home and was starting to think there probably wasn't any bomb. Problem is I still had this fear, when I remembered this guys face. And then I felt, or rather sensed evil. I kept seeing his face over and over, I'm seeing his face even now as i write this. Then I realized what had happened. He had crashed his car because he was being overwhelmed with the same fear except only much more intensly, and was trying to use the phone to call for help. When I drove by part of the evil touched of onto me, and perhaps my friend J i don't know. And then I started thinking about my future plans for my first trip in a while, and thought Augggghhh, Noooo... not evil spirits, evil spirits and tripping is BAAAAHHHHDDD. Well anyway I managed to get to my house, and tried to come in quitly as to not to disturbe anyone. And I saw one of my family members whom I care about and love asleep on the couch. I started to think as I usually do about how T.V. sucks and is a vampire and a mind washing box. And my soul felt deep sadness for this great man who is one of the greatest people I know who has led one of the richest fullest live of anyone I know. I thought how much i love him, although never say it, and how much I'd regret not telling him if he died right there and then. What really depressed me is that I wouldnt want such a great man to die unhappy, worring about unpaid bills or unresponsible offspring. I started to think about how I myself would want to die, and how he had watched his mother waste away of alsheimers disease, and how they had put her in a home. Thats the last thing i want, and the last thing I can imagine anybody wanting. I thought of how I would like to die at peace with nature, with my friends and family, and with myself. And I could instantly picture me on a fishing, or camping trip with me my grandfather and my uncles, and my fears of death melted away. I felt know that it did not matter even if evil spirits were with me because they could no longer harm or torment me. My Grandfather says he's led a full life and is ready to die, but I feel because a part of me is empty, he is empty. I think when you start to get old you stop looking towards your own future and start looking towards that of your childrens, and your childrens children. And I see myself through his eyes. And I think of all the unfilled dreams and promises in the world. My very being, almost down to a celluar level start to feel the effects as it passes by relentlessy even know, chewing up time that could be better spend doing, god knows what. Moments turned into moments past. Hopes turned to illusions. Thoughts turn into dust. And the glory of all, is eventually forgotten. Sorry bout the long post, couldnt put it in trip reports cuz i ain't trippin. Maybe thats what I need is a good trip. But maybe what I really need is to just make peace with myself and my loved ones. I think maybe, just maybe I have to tie up some loose ends my own little microcosm, before I blast out into the outer spheres of the macrocosm of our known reality. I could go blasting off, and I even still might benefit from it, but it's kinda like going on a long flight and remember you left your oven going, or the iron on. Too late too turn around and your planned vacation turns to shit, either because your house actually burns down, or just because your worring about it the whole time. I think a lot of people get into trouble like that because shrooms are not about running from your problems, it's about solving them and becoming at peace with ones self. I know realize that fears and evil spirits are just representations of the evil of letting ones self so entangled and submerged in the bullshit and rituals of civilized society, and forgetting the things that are important in this life, like family and friends, and to a larger extent all of life. Things like the beauty and power of consciousness , all the wonders of evolution and science. I feel sometimes as if I could describe forever the majestic infincy of the universe. When we start to take things like these for grantite, is when we leave ourselves open for true evils.
"And then you will realize the truth; there is no spoom."Edited by Dead Shaman on 05/15/01 02:14 AM.
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