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Toddo
Stranger


Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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What is Ego Loss
#3052024 - 08/26/04 03:42 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Im seeing this word being used everywhere but i dont think I understand what it means. Sorry if this is a dumb question, its just bugging me that i cant figure it out. And what does it feel like?
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HilltopNomad
Stranger
Registered: 08/12/04
Posts: 24
Loc: Roaming the South Downs
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3052146 - 08/26/04 05:41 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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It is exactly what it says, a loss of your ego. Its hard to describe, but basically you will start to question who/what you are and you will feel detatched from your physical representation in the real world. Beleive me, you will know when it happens. I had already experienced it before I read or knew anything about it which made it seem quite troublesome and stuck with me for a little while until I found my feet again. Looking back at it I think it was a learning process and now I'm past that stage I don't think it will ever bother me again....
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ChiLong
More machine elfthan man...

Registered: 02/22/03
Posts: 165
Loc: Twisted, moved to E-Ville
Last seen: 18 years, 9 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3052802 - 08/26/04 10:12 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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To me, ego loss is complete and total loss of the recollection that you exist. It was pure experience without judgement because there was no "me" there to judge.
I'm not sure if that makes any sense to you, but that's the best way I can think of to describe it. I can see how it would be unsettling to some, but I too was unprepared for it and it was likely one of the most positive experiences of my life.
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myndreach
philosopher



Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3053030 - 08/26/04 11:05 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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It is the complete loss of sense of self. You will have no concept of "you" anymore. Everything exists as a whole, as one part.
When you think "me" "I" "myself" etc. you are thinking of your ego. Imagine what you would be like if all consciousness remained minus the capacity to think of yourself as a thing seperate from the world around you.
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Toddo
Stranger


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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: myndreach]
#3053200 - 08/26/04 11:46 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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wow...sounds intense
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Anonymous
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: myndreach]
#3053833 - 08/26/04 02:24 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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myndreach knows 
but i think it would be better for you to first know what an ego is, before you are told what being without one is like. Spiritually defining the ego, our egos give us our sense of self, our egos are the reason we think we hold seperateness. but that is living a lie, being controlled by the ego. which would be living in an illusion. Things are not what they seem in life. Time doesnt exsist and is created by the ego. Space does not exsist either, we are not even the smallest unit of measurement apart from each other. we are all truly one. Also, fear stems from our ego. We do not naturally know fear, but while in a body with an ego, we have to deal with tricks of the ego.
without an ego, all you are left with is joy, because you are only left with your spirit. and that is, love! you are pure love! without an ego blinding you from this truth, you will feel it for yourself. feeling it is beyond words. love is all there is. love is reality. nothing else is real, only love. those that simply dont remember this right now, will when they are ready.
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keepontruckin
Weir on amission from Bob
Registered: 08/10/04
Posts: 255
Last seen: 13 years, 10 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3054216 - 08/26/04 03:58 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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I heard this mentioned earlier, and as I don't have much to add, I'll just reinforce:
If you ever slip into this state, your going to experience something that I couldn't even label as "terror" so to speak. Thats the only feeling that comes to mind when it happens, but it's something so much deeper that we'll never be able to understand.
But, despite it all, remember: Love. Love. Love. I don't know why, I havent yet been able to figure out why it's so important, but the only thing my mind grasped when this feeling struck me was love, and I held onto it, and I made it thru.
Good luck, don't worry about getting to this state because it will hit you so suddenly and you won't understand what it is until your able to comprehend the trip (possibly when coming down or later).
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Loosifa
none


Registered: 05/26/04
Posts: 506
Loc: England (South)
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3054327 - 08/26/04 04:34 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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I have a question. I've experienced ego loss once on a shroom / salvia extract combo, and, although it was the most far out thing I've ever experienced, I was scared. I dearly want to return to this place. It's fantastic. Will I be scared next time, or will there be a sense of familiarity? Does it get easier to let go? When I lost my self before, I was part of the fabric of the universe, and everything was made of it.
-------------------- LURK
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,528
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3054382 - 08/26/04 04:56 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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I think that it is a misnomer closer to ego dystonia a disruption in the force. an extremely unfamiliar and unsettling intensity of entheogenation. so little is understood about ego and so little is understood about entheogen no wonder the two are coupled in this term. that and validation of a misnomer from pop buddhism in the 60's. I prefer using a more standard measure. can you remember anything - no? - ok that's amnesia.
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Anonymous
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Loosifa]
#3054522 - 08/26/04 05:36 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
When I lost my self before, I was part of the fabric of the universe, and everything was made of it.
this 'fabric', is love.
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Loosifa
none


Registered: 05/26/04
Posts: 506
Loc: England (South)
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: ]
#3054635 - 08/26/04 05:56 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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thats a cool concept, kottonmouth! It felt extremely friendly and unified, a good place. So overwhelming! I wanna go again!!
-------------------- LURK
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utopianglory
Spunkmuffin
Registered: 07/20/02
Posts: 965
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3056296 - 08/27/04 12:13 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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This thread is a pretty good one, seems a shame to let it go really, I think some people have really touched upon that killer way to explain ego loss.
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Toddo
Stranger


Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
Last seen: 6 years, 4 months
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i would be posting but I haven't experienced it yet....unless you call ego loss laying on a table in the middle of the night in a school thinking im a car, not being able to move because im bolted down. I I just call that being fucked up.
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Toddo
Stranger


Registered: 07/09/04
Posts: 4,152
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3056496 - 08/27/04 01:10 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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BTW...if this post dies..ill bring it back the day i experiance ego loss.
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myndreach
philosopher



Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3056684 - 08/27/04 01:56 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Toddo said: BTW...if this post dies..ill bring it back the day i experiance ego loss.
sounds good toddo
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3057690 - 08/27/04 10:54 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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EGO LOSS, When you can feel and fully understand the true meaning of sorrow. Becasue it is thru sorrow we have no choice but to ignore our own self and focus on the needs of others. Somtimes our sorrow is a direct result from our very point of Ego. You hurt a loved one by selfish means,Ego flex, which tranfers you to sorrow,Ego loss. The best types of leaders, have command and ability to be "In the mode of Ego Loss" at will. For to to a leader is to be the servant. Ego Loss is the total submission to others......... And a realization that you are completley nothing in the greater picture.You are minerals and space junk EGO LOSS IS To come to grips with the fact that life is service with no rewards to be expected The true wealth of man can be found thru Ego Loss A man at the end of his life is not judged how rich he is by money but by how many people show up at his funeral. If you can master real ego loss and live that life than you will be one of the greatest people in the entire history of Earth.
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,528
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: ]
#3058831 - 08/27/04 03:43 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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everything was made of it
yes.
yes - nothing to do with ego. or loss.
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psychopsilocyber


Registered: 12/11/02
Posts: 1,020
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3060014 - 08/27/04 09:25 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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After having so much experience with ego loss with the aid of DMT I can safely say that ego loss is when you're to the point that whatever stimulation your mind is observing - your mind does not associate what you see with what your mind knows. I've noticed that when you try to slow down to put words to what you're feeling (that requires your ego) than you are entered into a third bardo mindset (rebirth of the ego) and it brings you down. Another thing about the tibetan book of the dead is reincarnation is meant to be applied to death of the ego not death of the body. And every time you smoke a high enough dose of DMT your ego will be shattered/killed/ or put to sleep for a few minutes - that's why you must not be attached to your ego or you will die with it and be reborn rather than be liberated from the ego into a state of nirvana. You must control the set and setting as much as you can without trying to influence the trip during the trip - that's when you sit back and - i'd say loose control, but you really have to focus to pay attention.. my 2 cents
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ninjapixie
newbie


Registered: 02/06/04
Posts: 417
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'I've noticed that when you try to slow down to put words to what you're feeling (that requires your ego) than you are entered into a third bardo mindset (rebirth of the ego) and it brings you down'
So true. I think the ego exists only in language. Egoloss is moving into non-verbal reality and shutting down that little running commentary inside your head that tries to put everything into words. When you stop trying to analyse everything with language, your sense of self disappears, you become the experience instead of the experience happens to you, and your sense of time disappears as you move into the eternal now.
-------------------- Put that monkey back in the oven.
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3eyeswise
captain
Registered: 08/21/04
Posts: 198
Loc: lake county Florida
Last seen: 17 years, 4 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3062608 - 08/28/04 04:32 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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just had to give a warning if your going to dose high enough for ego loss avoid anywhere public,I was at a gas station at the peak of my loss and punched the glass out of the walls ripped the register out of the wall,cops came with worms coming out of there heads I was one with death,also one with a mental hospitol for 3 days.
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d33p
Welcome to Violence

Registered: 07/12/03
Posts: 5,381
Loc: the shores of Tripoli
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3062804 - 08/28/04 05:20 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
PDU said: Ego - loss eh....
How do you know? While, there's been some good suggestions already, i would describe it as;
The moment when all sensory input and consequently physical output on your behalf stops. Its when your brain shuts your body down completely and fools the mind, the mind shuts down its defense's and you loose all sense of every-body that restricts you, no gravity, no rules, no laws, no physics, no humanly constraints, no *memory or knowledge* to influence your thoughts, Just you processing every aspect of life/humanity/future.
Your brain receiving input through taste, sight, hearing, smell, and sensory receptors is processing these minute electrical signals and reacting appropriately, everysingle second of everysingle day. With egoloss, these outside stimulus are cut off, and you are left with nothing but the functioning ability of pure imagination. You might see your entire life flash by on metaphysical cards, you might float, or die, you might enter a realm with teachers, or you might just be a pure beam of light traveling at the speed of light through your neural network processing every imaginable aspect of your psyche - However, how this processing manifests itself to you, can be freightening or feel like overload. Since there will be no *rules* or *decency* applying - it's just you and whatever can come up in your mind.
Reading Ketamine - metaprogramming from the eye of the storm, Last nite offered me alot of insight into this. A *dream* is simply random blocks of memory resurging and combining at a completely random cycle, to create some sort of structured imaginary reality. I feel that the same could be said for a trip, especially an egoloss one. Its all you, what you experience through egoloss, its all there, its all in your head .. and you may or may not have the ability to sway your experience in the direction you want using the content youve accumulated to use at your disposal.
Anyways, you'll certainly know when it hits you.
The first few times i *looked out for it* and *waited* for my "ego to be crushed*, and i can tell you, The analytical approach just wont work.
-------------------- I'm a nihilist. Lets be friends. bang bang
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myndreach
philosopher



Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: d33p]
#3064134 - 08/29/04 12:59 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Just thought I'd add, that last night I had an egoloss experience. I had about 3 or 3.5 grams dried, and made tea.
It was a great trip.
The part where I had the ecstatic moment was after about 1.5 hours after drinking my tea. I laid down on my back with my eyes shut, and put my headphones on and listened to The Passion cd by Peter Gabriel. It's his score to The Last Temptation of Christ.
Anyways, it was amazing. I listened to about 6 tracks, and it was amazing. I got up, got a drink of water.
When I came back, I laid back and told myself to let go and give in. I laid down again, and as I shut my eye and hit play, I told myself to lose myself. As track seven started, I pictured these small creatures moving everything in the house away. At first it was a bit scary, but I gave into the experience and gave up. In my mind's eye, when everything was taken away, they turned to me and began dissasembling me as well starting at my feet. There was also this huge devider that came down and was splitting my body into two halves. The music was perfect for this.
All that was left was my head it felt, and I was arching my head back into the carpet in ecstatic breathes. Then the 1:50 second part of "A Different Drum" hit (track 7), where Peter Gabriel begins singing (not words, just humming in a way) and the music swells. It pushed me over the edge, and I began having uncontrollable fits of crying, laughing, heavy hard breathing, and really just "lost myself" for a couple minutes, blown into stardust. The only thing that was left was my emotions. It was amazing.
After this part of the music passed, I came back to reality for a moment and opened my eyes. My wife had come into the room, so I stopped the music and spent the rest of the night talking to her. It was great
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Hugh_Jass
pantydealer
Registered: 04/25/02
Posts: 82
Loc: Northern Ireland
Last seen: 12 years, 9 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: ninjapixie]
#3064759 - 08/29/04 10:45 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
ninjapixie said: So true. I think the ego exists only in language. Egoloss is moving into non-verbal reality and shutting down that little running commentary inside your head that tries to put everything into words. When you stop trying to analyse everything with language, your sense of self disappears, you become the experience instead of the experience happens to you, and your sense of time disappears as you move into the eternal now.
This is slightly off-topic but I've always wondered what mechanics people who are born deaf use to think. They've never heard anyone speak before so they musnt hear that comentary we are all used to? But if they can read and write and communicate through sign language, do they think without verbalised words/commentary or devlop their own? I imagine they would still be able to imagine sounds? Is this way of thinking more fluid?
If im tripping on my own I always get VERY frustrated by internal conversations, they get too intense and I fry my head being on the verge of a revelation, I KNOW something but cant put it into a string of words.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder


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Posts: 14,279
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3065028 - 08/29/04 12:29 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ego-loss is a misnomer. Ego is a psychological term which refers to one's individual point-of-view or perspective. We ordinarily identify ouselves by the ego-perspective, but in expanded states of consciousness, we discover that we are Really awareness - first and foremost, and only secondarily a discrete, separate ego. This is the fundamental truth that Buddhism speaks to. When the ego recedes into the background, and pure awareness looms larger-than-life, we may realize that Reality - us included - is fundamentally Consciousness.
I mention Buddhism because Buddhist psychology is very much older and much more precise than Western psychological schools, regardless of which one we speak of. These psychological insights apply to the Christian, Jew, Muslim or any other world religion because Consciousness is the modern word for Spirit, and religions are primarily about spiritual Reality. However, while Buddhism uses psychological terminology, most other world religions use mythological terminolgy to convey truths. Mythological language is much more 'personified,' which means that states of Consciousness [Spirit] are described as beings, as persons. So, for example, when Saint Paul talks about ego-loss, about being 'in the Spirit,' he says: "I live, yet not I; Christ liveth within me."
So-called ego-loss means a 'higher' level of perception with 'spiritual eyes' ( or 'I'). "If thine eye be single, thy body shall be full of light." Many of the sayings of the New Testament only make sense on a mystical level (as opposed to literal, allegorical or symbolic levels). Jewish scriptural interpretation understands this, the average literal reader has absolutely no idea.
Because modern people think psychologically (psychology has been the main philosophy of moderns for well over 100 years) they do not realize that older cultures thought (and still attempt to) think mythologically. This is one of the reasons many young people disregard the Bible as a source of Wisdom - they do not understand or know how to translate mythological language into modern usable language.
Lastly, ego-loss is a positive thing taken if one is talking about mystical religious experience. It can be horrifyingly pathological when ego-loss occurs in psychosis, and one's ego is replaced by uncontrolled contents of the unconscious. Of course, it is this second possibility that has always been used to frighten off the user of psychedelics.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire


Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3066590 - 08/29/04 08:00 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced clinical depression to the point of getting seriously sucidal (e.g. having the gun in your mouth). I was struck with clinical depression due to an extended illness. I'm much better now, but I really don't feel the same as before dealing with acute depression. I sort of want to call it "detached" but this isn't really the correct word. I suppose there is something of a "borrowed time" feeling about my life right now. I've used acid, 'shrooms, ecstasy back in college. I was standing alone in the Amsterdam red light district tripping out waiting for my roommate to finish with a prostitute. I mean, I've been frightened while tripping. Confused, scared, etc. But since being so depressed, and using the fruits of my own labors, it's sort of been like my experiences have been quite different. I feel like I have control, understanding of the lens I'm viewing the world through. I'm interested in getting to "ego-loss," but I was wondering if others have had a similar experience with depression and entheogens? Right on. Thanks all. 
GB
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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donkey_lipz
journeyman
Registered: 07/27/04
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: GnuBobo]
#3066924 - 08/29/04 09:22 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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I still cant decide whether or not im going to try mushrooms. All this talk about ego loss is scary. Im a humble, laid back guy and think everyone is equal already. Does that mean I have less chance of having a bad trip? Would an egotistical person have a bad one when they lose their ego?
I dont want to lose my ego at first. how much should I take to make colors more vivid and music sound better? A gram or so?
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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I would take 1.5-2.0 for a first time. You can always dose higher if it isn't enough for later trips. Start low to find your comfort level.
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FecalDildo
Fat LadiesBingo.

Registered: 04/25/04
Posts: 9,645
Loc: Ass Flavour Pie Factory.
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ego loss is the ability to remove yourself from the world of "i". When one looses their ego they feel a part of the eternal NOW and the eternal universe.. there is no differentiation between the person sitting next to you or the plants in your back yard, or the refrigerator in your kitchen.. everything becomes one.. If you try to loose your ego it wont happen. As the great alan watts said. "trying to loose your ego is the biggest ego trip going". Meditation is a great way of loosing your ego and it will come naturally once you "get it".
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: FecalDildo]
#3067280 - 08/29/04 10:53 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Emmett said: When one looses their ego they feel a part of the eternal NOW and the eternal universe.. there is no differentiation between the person sitting next to you or the plants in your back yard, or the refrigerator in your kitchen.. everything becomes one..
Oh yeah...my favorite way of describing egoloss is that "you" become "Nothing and everything, nothing and everything."
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myndreach
philosopher



Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
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good post mark
Quote:
donkey_lipz said: Does that mean I have less chance of having a bad trip? Would an egotistical person have a bad one when they lose their ego?
Once you realize that there are no "good" or "bad" trips, and that there is only the experience, you will begin to truly understand and enjoy psychadelics in the way that they are meant to be.
Edited by myndreach (08/29/04 11:04 PM)
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falseaddiction
There's agoldmine up onthe mountainside

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 380
Loc: Where the nugs flow like ...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3067349 - 08/29/04 11:07 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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First time i tripped I ate 2.5 grams of cubesis and reached it for about 10 mins. Freaked me out.... I layed on my wifes lap sqeezing her hands, telling her I didn't exist. She would say things like "You will be normal soon, it will be ok." or "It will pass in time." I would repsond saying "I don't even exist anymore. I could never be normal again. Normal doesn't exist. There is no time to come back to." I was gone. Scary, but looking back it was a learning experience. I don't know what it would be like to live without experiencing that. I just wasn't ready for it as I had never even tripped before.
--------------------
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AhHaHaHa
there issomething on myshoulder
Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 199
Loc: upon the east
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: GnuBobo]
#3067390 - 08/29/04 11:19 PM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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A few years ago i had a beautiful life with lots of wonderful people who loved me. I cant remember exactly when it stopped but it did. And none of the people in that life confirm its happenings. I promised I would wait for them. I cant tell what is real anymore. A loss of reality and waiting for false hope, now that is ego loss. And Im suicidal all the time. Its inevidabilty depresses the hell out of me. I have to get of this out sooner or later.
Edited by AhHaHaHa (08/29/04 11:22 PM)
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j_db69
Forever learning shaman


Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 897
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: GnuBobo]
#3068455 - 08/30/04 09:32 AM (19 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
GnuBobo said: I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced clinical depression to the point of getting seriously sucidal (e.g. having the gun in your mouth). I was struck with clinical depression due to an extended illness. I'm much better now, but I really don't feel the same as before dealing with acute depression. I sort of want to call it "detached" but this isn't really the correct word. I suppose there is something of a "borrowed time" feeling about my life right now. I've used acid, 'shrooms, ecstasy back in college. I was standing alone in the Amsterdam red light district tripping out waiting for my roommate to finish with a prostitute. I mean, I've been frightened while tripping. Confused, scared, etc. But since being so depressed, and using the fruits of my own labors, it's sort of been like my experiences have been quite different. I feel like I have control, understanding of the lens I'm viewing the world through. I'm interested in getting to "ego-loss," but I was wondering if others have had a similar experience with depression and entheogens? Right on. Thanks all. 
GB
Yes GnuBobo, you can get really depressed. I have never been depressed really I guess, but the last time I took them, (only 3 grams) suicide did cross my mind, I would never do that btw, but for some reason I did think about it. I wasn't depressed or having a bad trip, it was just one of the many things that was racing through my mind. Just know that suicide is a selfish way out, you may be ok with hurting yourself, but you have to think about everyone else in your life, like your family and friends. Make sure you have someone that you really trust with you, that is a positive person and don't listen to depressing music, as some music may not sound depressing now, but when you are on mushrooms, it could be a different story. Just know that it will pass and how good the afterglow will feel....
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falseaddiction
There's agoldmine up onthe mountainside

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 380
Loc: Where the nugs flow like ...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3068930 - 08/30/04 11:47 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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AhHaHaHa, did this start right after a trip? Have you tripped many times? InvisibleGnuBobo, What sickness did you have? I have had mono for about 2-3 months and I am getting over it now, but I feel oddly depressed, for no reason really.
--------------------
Edited by falseaddiction (08/30/04 11:49 AM)
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Rose
Devil's Advocate


Registered: 09/24/03
Posts: 22,518
Loc: Mod not God
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3068993 - 08/30/04 12:03 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Great thread...
For more information on ego loss, read The Psychadellic Experience, by Tim Leary http://www.erowid.org/library/books_online/psychedelic_experience/psychedelic_experience.shtml
Enjoy!
-------------------- Fiddlesticks.
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AhHaHaHa
there issomething on myshoulder
Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 199
Loc: upon the east
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Many times I have tripped before and many times after. Still the same memory. I ve taken all different types of medicine none work. I have elaborate detailed memories of events conversations and time lines that occured during that summer.
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falseaddiction
There's agoldmine up onthe mountainside

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 380
Loc: Where the nugs flow like ...
Last seen: 17 years, 10 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3070891 - 08/30/04 08:17 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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AhHaHaHa, What summer? Was it a summer you tripped a lot? Do you feel that this change in perception or feeling was due to your pychedelic experiences? I am interested in this, as like I had said, I have been feeling weird latly. donkey_lipz, There is no way to really know if your ready. Just start small. Like I said, I only did 2-3 grams my first time and I experienced this. All that was left was emotion, in its purest form. It's crazy. You'll make it through. Be with friends, but don't do it just to have fun. It's fun, but get use to it first.
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Edited by falseaddiction (08/30/04 08:29 PM)
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire


Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3071254 - 08/30/04 09:24 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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I had a physical illness which severely limited my ability to function It's a little fucked up, an extended story. I'm much better now, though. However, since dealing with mental illness, recovering, you just feel a bit different. I mean, understanding how quickly I can slip back into disfunction if I'm off meds is bizarre. My symptoms and behavior are so obviously connected to a chemical imbalance in my brain....I see things much more about taking care of your head and how easily a chemical can alter the balance. I suppose it comes to that I have seen the profound help and effect of SSRIs on my brain, so I want to explore entheogens as they extend one's range of senses and sensibilities. I suppose I view taking psychedelics as a tool, like getting a hearing aid for your brain, I suppose. And the extent of vision one might have must be explored, pushed....hence my interest in ego loss. Take it easy all.
GB
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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kronnyQ
SuperstudExtraordinaire


Registered: 07/22/04
Posts: 2,488
Loc: Anytown USA
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: GnuBobo]
#3071693 - 08/30/04 11:17 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
GnuBobo said: I'm wondering if anyone here has experienced clinical depression to the point of getting seriously sucidal (e.g. having the gun in your mouth). I was struck with clinical depression due to an extended illness. I'm much better now, but I really don't feel the same as before dealing with acute depression. I sort of want to call it "detached" but this isn't really the correct word. I suppose there is something of a "borrowed time" feeling about my life right now. I've used acid, 'shrooms, ecstasy back in college. I was standing alone in the Amsterdam red light district tripping out waiting for my roommate to finish with a prostitute. I mean, I've been frightened while tripping. Confused, scared, etc. But since being so depressed, and using the fruits of my own labors, it's sort of been like my experiences have been quite different. I feel like I have control, understanding of the lens I'm viewing the world through. I'm interested in getting to "ego-loss," but I was wondering if others have had a similar experience with depression and entheogens? Right on. Thanks all. 
GB
I been there man. Only advice I have for ya is don't buy a gun!
J/k I can offer a lot more than that. I just found out about 4 years ago that I have clinical depression, and it's weird I never thought of it before because I remember being suicidal as young as 12 years old and very depressed ever since the age of 7 or 8.
Around 18 or so I started using acid and that made my condition a lot worse. It wasn't until I was about 22 that I found out I had major depression and anxiety issues, possibly elevated by my use of acid and shrooms. I tried therapy and various medications. To this day the only thing thats working for me is the Zoloft, and #1 most importantly NOT USING ANY PSYCHOACTIVE DRUGS! The last time I did shrooms on meds I locked myself in a closet for four hours with my gun. 
Now all I do is drink and smoke tweedz, and aside from some mild depression from the drinking I feel great.
I've never heard of this ego-loss stuff but it sounds a lot like things that I have experienced.
I'm tellin you this right now if you have any kind of depression/ anxiety/ brain chemical imbalance issues do not touch shrooms, acid, or X! 
Besides, if you grow shrooms and you don't do them that's 100% profit for you!
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AhHaHaHa
there issomething on myshoulder
Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 199
Loc: upon the east
Last seen: 19 years, 3 months
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It was the summer of 2001, when I graduated high school. I have tripped many times after but never have I dreamnt like that. I tripped several times before. Dreamnt, fuck I still think its real. My perception changed only slightly. I was suicidal before the summer because i felt like i was going no where. All the symptoms of depression. However i can remember the happiness they gave me and the love i had found. I felt like i had found my place and reason to live, for them. Dont get me wrong, I am not one of those people who takes something someone says, or a gesture the wrong way. I remember specific events and love from that summer in great detail. And these were like a memory remembered not like a fantasy created. The memories came back in flashes, not like fantasies which build upon each other. I set dates in the future for them to return again, because I promised them, but I fear they never will return again. This is my reality. This causes a great deal of anxiety. This is a horrible reality. I use mushrooms as my escape. i view things differently when I trip. I am at peace and confident in the memories restoration. For years I have thought those same things, I am not real. I have tried to erase the blade. I am a coward and cannot, or maybe i believe they will return again. So you realize my dilema. The dream is centripital, it keeps me alive and causes me to think like that. I am under a great deal of stress. I feel the end is near. I will never go see another doctor, but have thought about checking myself into an institute where I can "legally" loose control. I hate the place I am in and the only thing that can change that is the memory must become true and I am ready for it to happen; for if it does not. Mushrooms calm my mind and are my release.
Edited by AhHaHaHa (08/31/04 12:01 AM)
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder


Registered: 12/09/99
Posts: 14,279
Loc: South Florida
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: myndreach]
#3072819 - 08/31/04 05:33 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Thanks myndreach.
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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myndreach
philosopher



Registered: 08/07/04
Posts: 2,368
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Quote:
falseaddiction said: All that was left was emotion, in its purest form.
True true...this is what ego loss is for me also.
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Society
Mmmm... pizza


Registered: 07/03/04
Posts: 14,299
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: myndreach]
#3074728 - 08/31/04 04:07 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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AhAhAHahah, I feel for you. I have never touched a psychadelic besides marijuana, but since around March, I haven't been feeling right. I didn't know what it was, but once summer hit, it worsened tmes 100. I started having horrid nightmares (something which I have never had in my life ever before this year), and would wake up in a panic. This probably sounds cliche, but my dreams haunt me. Whenever I had a nightmare, I ALWAYS spent my time searching for how my conciousness was paralell to it, and I have very little perception as to what the difference between reality and dream is. This summer I was somehow propelled into a mental state in which I no longer feel like I experience life. There always feels like there's a vacuum in my head sucking my emotion and life out of me, and I have this permanent feeling of detachment and disassociation with my environment. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me, but I hate it. I never had this (or any mental) problem before or while I was taking an SSRI. I always wanted to take mushrooms and LSD and other psychadelics for the experience, but I feel almost certain that it will worsen my current state or I'll get stuck in a trip permanently (psycosis). Have fun.
-------------------- Delicious Pizza
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AhHaHaHa
there issomething on myshoulder
Registered: 08/29/04
Posts: 199
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Society]
#3075874 - 08/31/04 10:02 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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You just have to keep the right mind frame. If you believe you are in a better place with shrooms, then you will be. However if you have any doubts dont do it. No matter what people say perception is based upon the limitations of chemicals in the brain. Apply the right chemicals and explode with visions, twist the brain right and you may even propell yourself into a better state. Seven years ago I was in a car accident that left me in a coma for a month. My perception changed drastically. I have visions from that summer of 2001 that are real and have happened. I guess you could say I got a glimpse of portions of the future. I went to the Gratefull Dead concert a couple of weeke ago, where I remembered a vision. I stood behind a dancing hippy with long hair and I knew. I turned to my friend and said on Friday night after you come back from the bar there will be a horrible car accident in front of your apartment and a man will die with long dark hair. I told him to remind me on Friday. He did and I stayed home from the bar. Maybe 15 min. after he got back it happened. Sounded like a bomb going off. He and his girlfriend went to help. When they came back she told me there was a man with long dark hair or it could have been blood running down his head. I stayed back because I fear if I went it would remind me of my own accident. My point is the chemicals in the brain are so crazy. It is the part of the body that we no the least about. I never had those visions before or after that summer. I have never been happy since the accident but only in that summer. Apply the right emotions to change chemicals and amazing things can happen. It scares the hell out of me.
Edited by AhHaHaHa (08/31/04 10:03 PM)
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falseaddiction
There's agoldmine up onthe mountainside

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 380
Loc: Where the nugs flow like ...
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3076505 - 09/01/04 12:25 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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thats crazy man. Sorry to hear about the accident man
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GnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire


Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
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Sooo, just revisting this thread. I don't understand why one would specifically avoid psychedelics or entheogens if one knows s/he has mental instabilities. The last couple of trips I've had have been incredibly empowering. I suppose this is antithetical to ego loss, though. I'm simply trying to "feel out" what cubensis fruits can teach me. I am quite interested in exploring how my mind can be "manipulated." Though that word has such a terrible connotation. It's more like scuba spelunking around Guatemala: find your natural catacombs. And if the underwater pathways go a little deeper, darker, and further than you'd hoped, well, you've still got your equipment that'll keep you alive. It's all good. I simply try to remember, and reflect upon, the high states of a given trip. All I've seen, lately, is the best of individuals. The vision of the best we, us, anyone, you, I can be. I think about all people say about me. And I try to not criticize my failings and live up to the potential. It's all about using up your potential. Burn that shit out, bright. Don't let any go to waste, whether you're dead at 27 or 102. Extinguish, through living, your life force.
That's the path I'm trying to find. Ah, that's my S.O.C. typing again. Peace, y'all.
GB
-------------------- Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!
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reidy_vancolo
Bassist

Registered: 04/26/04
Posts: 70
Loc: On my way to save the wor...
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: GnuBobo]
#3077306 - 09/01/04 08:02 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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hey i think this post should be stickied cos their will probably be quite a few people wondering about ego-loss i used to think it was a bad thing and didnt really want it to happen but now i actually know what it is id now like to experience it so i think this should stickied lol ne 1 else?
-------------------- Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a .44 Magnum will tear that bully a new asshole!
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falseaddiction
There's agoldmine up onthe mountainside

Registered: 08/22/03
Posts: 380
Loc: Where the nugs flow like ...
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I second that
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Silven


Registered: 08/30/04
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Loc: El Mexicano
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I've never experienced "ego loss" on mushrooms either, as someone above was saying. Though I have experienced what sounds like what you are all talking about on LSD. On three blotter hits, sitting in the woods with two friends in front of a camp fire just this past summer. My two friends had each taken two of them since I paid for them.
I didn't peak for around 4 hours. I thought I hit my peak at 3 hours, but then I started tripping harder and began having weird thoughts that go along with higher dose hallucinogens. It must have been right around my peak that I hit what you are all calling ego loss, I call it "Becoming one" because that's exactly how you feel.
I had no idea what I was feeling at that time, I was scared at first, but I destinctively remember my right arm feeling warm, almost like a spirit or something was guiding me, which turned the feeling of terror away. My experience of ego loss could have lasted anywhere from half an hour to an hour before I realized I was "me" again because I had asked a friend what time it was and it was somewhere around 11 when I was at the three hour mark.
I just sat in a trance for my whole ego loss experience in front of the camp fire, and am unable to recollect any of the emotions/thoughts I had at that time other than the feeling of being one with everything. It was around 1:30 when I realized I was sitting in front of the fire staring at the coals of our once decent sized fire, IN THE RAIN (I hadn't noticed it had been raining for maybe the whole time, or just 10-15 minutes).
I found my friends down by the creek drinking beer after I came back. They said I just moaned un-decipherable nonsense when they tried to talk to me, so they left to go drink and play in the water while they still had their "trip" going.
Anyway, sorry bout' the length! - Silven
-------------------- What do you bring to the table?
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Plok
Life is fractal


Registered: 09/08/04
Posts: 1,152
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I want some damn mushrooms.
-------------------- Just say NO to the War on Drugs.
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butterflydawn
lucid dreamer


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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3142459 - 09/16/04 02:47 AM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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going back to birth stage
-------------------- lucidal expansion
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the free thinker
salesman


Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
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Ego loss = going back to the source
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Pisces
Dr.Gonzo

Registered: 05/17/04
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The only time I had ever experienced ego loss was from a hit of 10x salvia extract and I felt no love or oneness with the universe. It was such the extreme oppsite that I have since contemplated on that salvia trip for the past couple months. Its scary as hell when you break through on the 2nd time smoking it, not expecting or knowing the level at which its possible to lose controle of your "normal" thought patterns. I felt complete isolation and the very absence of God, talk about a one way ticket to a out of body and religious experience.
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PhanTomCat
Teh Cat....


Registered: 09/07/04
Posts: 5,908
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3160552 - 09/21/04 03:19 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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:::The sound of a toaster popping up::::
HEEeeeyyyyy, Leggo my Eggo...! <SmerK>
-------------------- I'll be your midnight French Fry.... "The most important things in life that are often ignored, are the things that one cannot see...." >^;;^<
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Ginseng1
Elegant Universe


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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3161194 - 09/21/04 05:36 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Your ego is your bodies life.
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Paou
Seeker

Registered: 09/23/04
Posts: 376
Loc: Transcendence
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3171037 - 09/23/04 05:24 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Ego loss is where you become lifted out of this illusion of separation and become one with God and the universe. You lose your sense of self, but gain a glimpse into reality as it is, not as we normally experience it. Of course, you get your ego back, but if you have enough self-discipline, you can keep the lessons from this revelation with you.
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Testify
i'm emo.
Registered: 09/20/04
Posts: 30
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Toddo]
#3178934 - 09/25/04 01:04 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hey, so does "losing your ego" have bad effects? Like, if I'm going off to college next year and getting a job n such and wanting a family. Do I need my "ego" for all of that? Does it just mean I won't be selfish? Will I still care about things, such as my job, school, family? I'm still trying to figure out exactly what it is. Also, once you lose your "ego" on that one trip. Is it gone for good? Do you have other "ego losing" trips?
Thanks!
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I2ancid
josh hartnett,movie star actor


Registered: 10/05/03
Posts: 1,473
Loc: psycholand
Last seen: 16 years, 4 months
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Testify]
#3179269 - 09/25/04 03:06 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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No, it comes back when you come down of course. If it didn't you'de be lost forever, which doesent at all seem like a bad thing when you first let go.
When it happens you'll suddenly realize all the shit that seemingly mattered to you no longer does. All drama is caused by the ego, the bigger it gets the easier it gets hurt. It's basically the most beautiful feeling of freedom you can experience. Be careful not to think too much about anything during this time, you can get into some really really deep and scary thought processes if you let yourself. This can lead to a bad trip.
Just remember, when it happens do not fight it. You probably will fight it as its pretty overwhelming and your ego WILL convince you that you're dying and this is what happens when you get close to death (near death experience). The ego kind of wages a war that you must overcome in order to let go of it.
Here are some common ego-defence mechanisms.
1: that you are dying. 2: you will never see friends/family anymore. 3: that you are going insane and going "too far".
The final ploy seems to be flashing your life before your eyes for me. This is it's last effort to hold on.
Make sure you are alone by the way. Trip sitters make things worse for me as they can panic themselves and send negative vibes. Only let extremely experienced people trip sit you.
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j_db69
Forever learning shaman


Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 897
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: I2ancid]
#3179705 - 09/25/04 05:14 PM (19 years, 4 months ago) |
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It will show you what is really important in your life, and it will only help you, just do like I2ancid said and just totally let go, your body will try to fight it, but once you realize that it will be ok, you can have total harmony-enlightenment.
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Semp
Stranger
Registered: 08/31/04
Posts: 5
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: j_db69]
#3255611 - 10/20/04 10:47 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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Bit of a different story here. I double dosed on Equadorians from my local headshop (cause in the past I'd always gotten really weak shit) and I think I experienced ego loss, but I can't be sure. In the run up to the peak of the trip, I definately had something wierd happen to my ego. Mainly I'd be dancing to ska and looking at photographs and illustrations, but then I started digging for insight on all those big fundamental questions about life which have kept philosophers and politicians busy since the dawn of time. Eventually, I went to make a glass of juice. I was alone in the house and I had this profound realisation that not only was I alone the hopuse, but also alone in the universe. It wasn't an outwardly depressing realisation... I just suddenly felt like the whole of reality was curving up around me in a sphere, and that everything around me was a part of me. Like being in a dream, I guess, only there was an unseen, objective reality that was providing a sort of underpinning for my reality. But like, it meant that everyone else in the world is a apart of me too, that they're just bits of my own psyche with the illusion of separateness. So rather than feeling my ego dissolve and myself be swept away into the absolute... it was like my ego was a wall holding me back, and I flowed outward intot he world around me. There was no extrospective euphoria, no sense of greater meaning. It was actually totally the opposite: introspective, faintly despairing centring around the lack of any greater meaning at all.
I also saw the universe split open and reveal all the different causal realities to me, like I was observing reality on the quantum level, but that's another story.
So what the fuck happened? Ego absolution, ego death, what? I remember on the come down being quite worried that I'd never be able to go back to being normal... that since I'd had this profound revelation of transcending not just the ego, but also of seemingly existing outside of reality (and having to pick a causal reality to go back into) I'd never regain my sanity. I'm quite interested in trying to reach this place again, maybe having more of a positive and extrospective trip this time, but would ramming myself full of enough hallucinogens to ensure this risk my sanity? Has anyone ever gone crazy from tripping?
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Hendostan


Registered: 07/18/04
Posts: 4,444
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Quote:
donkey_lipz said: I still cant decide whether or not im going to try mushrooms. All this talk about ego loss is scary. Im a humble, laid back guy and think everyone is equal already. Does that mean I have less chance of having a bad trip? Would an egotistical person have a bad one when they lose their ego?
I dont want to lose my ego at first. how much should I take to make colors more vivid and music sound better? A gram or so?
I say go ahead and try it and don't worry about ego loss just yet. My first few times tripping I was with one or two friends and it involved a lot of laughing and crazy visuals/colors. I had a blast and considered mushrooms just a social/recreational drug used to have a good time. At low doses it can still be that way, but after having a high dose trip alone just recently, I feel that I've "moved on" sort of. I experienced ego-loss, and was completely unprepared for it. Everyone has done a great job explaining what it is like. I'm not going to go into my experience with it, cause my point is that you should not worry about that for your first trip, but be with people you know and trust just in case it decides to happen. Keep the dose fairly low, no more than 1.75grams, or half an eighth. When and if you decide to explore higher doses, you will be better prepared than I was just by reading this thread. Most likely your first trip will be a blast and the intense out of body experience that has been described in this thread will not happen yet. Don't hold me responsible if it does happen though! Knowledge is power...expect the best, but be prepared for the worst ("best" and "worst" don't really apply at all, it's just a struggle to put words to ego-loss experiences. others in this thread have done a much better job than me)
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MovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,825
Loc: temporary
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: Hendostan]
#3256613 - 10/20/04 02:59 PM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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After my one and only ego death experience I said to myself I would never take shrooms again. Didnt last but Ive been very cautious ever since about taking high doses, and every trip since has started with the anxiety where before the ego loss trip it never occured.
At the trime I considered it a bad trip, there was some amazing parts towards the end but most the time it felt like my head was being pumped with a constant barrage of thoughts, sounds, emotions and pictures. At that time I was relatively inexperienced with mushrooms so it felt like i'd lost control and the fear of how fake and twisted reality seemed was just overwelming.
In the future I may have another high dose to attempt ego loss, hopefully I'l be prepared enough...
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mushiemountain
i am the sacredone
Registered: 06/24/04
Posts: 1,616
Last seen: 15 years, 5 months
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I've tripped on mushrooms about 20 or so times, but never ate more than 4 grams. This weekend I plan on eating 5 grams of Golden Teachers with about 3 other people (1 experienced, the other 2 not as experienced) at the beach (beach where no one is around). I am expecting an ego loss from this 5 grams, but am not sure how I will react. While tripping on 5 grams what do you usually act like? Like can you control it at all and like be able to speak and walk and do things or no?
-------------------- I Ain't No Fool. Mama Didn't Raise No Fool. ----------primussucks
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MovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,825
Loc: temporary
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I think it varies depending on who you are! Tolerance levels... experience etc
Some people can probably control themselves quite well and appear normal on 5 grams while others would need to be in a quiet room by themself. One guy I know needs to take about three times as much as me for a similar result.
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MovingTarget

Registered: 10/04/04
Posts: 4,825
Loc: temporary
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I supposed ego loss is like the ultimate fuckedness you can get lol. If only most alcies knew this, they'd probably save a lot of money!!
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MOTH
Wild Woman


Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,431
Loc: In the jungle
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Quote:
mushiemountain said: I've tripped on mushrooms about 20 or so times, but never ate more than 4 grams. This weekend I plan on eating 5 grams of Golden Teachers with about 3 other people (1 experienced, the other 2 not as experienced) at the beach (beach where no one is around). I am expecting an ego loss from this 5 grams, but am not sure how I will react. While tripping on 5 grams what do you usually act like? Like can you control it at all and like be able to speak and walk and do things or no?
I found on five grams I was able to carry it pretty well.
Then I took a few hits of weed around the peak and that's when I got smeared.
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the free thinker
salesman


Registered: 12/17/02
Posts: 1,877
Loc: twin cities
Last seen: 12 years, 5 days
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Re: What is Ego Loss [Re: MOTH]
#3259703 - 10/21/04 08:19 AM (19 years, 3 months ago) |
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When I did 5 grams with my friends, I was really... um yeah. That is some intense shit. We had some of THE most intense laughter ever.... sometimes I thought I was going to suffocate because I couldn't stop laughing to catch my breath.
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