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Getting Angry
    #3036910 -

The only really appropriate (with a few exceptions) time for anger is when you or a loved one is threatened.

How many here question their useless anger instead of the object of your anger when getting into an emotional rage?

Doing this exercise (reversing the arrow) will teach you more about spirituality than reading scripture, a dozen mushroom trips or years of meditation.


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The proof is in the pudding.

Edited by Swami (08/22/04 05:23 PM)

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3036939 -

Emotions are an interesting topic, and I'm struggling with an emotional dilemna, right now. It seems as though when nothing surprises you, makes you angry, worried, afraid, and the less things you discriminate, really makes it hard for other people to relate to you. The magic is taken out...ya know?

Sorry to go off-topic, but maybe I'm looking for advice.


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As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: psyka]
    #3036956 -

That is false. Do you really think victims of spousal abuse relate better to their spouses than those who maintain a more even demeanor?

Hard to give advice with no details.


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3036998 -

Irrational subjects and emotions tend to get more attention than the rational. That is why people get angry, afraid, or whatever. Its what sells.


--------------------
As the life of a candle,
my wick will burn out.
But, the fire of my mind
shall beam into infinite.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037003 -

Sometimes it's hard to just calm down your anger, so it's good to have a constructive outlet for it. It's good to have a punching bag around the house for this purpose.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037027 -

You may be talking about a physical threat, but some might get angry when feeling emotionally or psychologically threatened, as well.

I notice that when I become angry at someone, it's usually because I am feeling threatened. Ego problem, right? Yep.

This past week I had that problem. Something happened in my office between me, the other attorney, and the paralegal. I became angry. But a little later, while I was sitting at my desk calming down, I was thinking on the anger and why I was experiencing that emotion.

I realized it was inappropriate for me to become angry, when really I was just hurt. So I apologized for becoming angry and admitted I was hurt, and of course I acted like a girl and cried. But I think that too often people cover up their true emotions with anger, maybe because we don't want to be vulnerable.

I think anger is a shield.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: silversoul7]
    #3037029 -

It's good to have a punching bag around the house for this purpose.

It is called "a wife". :whack:


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Frog]
    #3037046 -

frog,  how honest!!!  :thumbup: 

it's awesome when you can actually sit down and ask, why did I act this certain way.... :laugh:


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Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037048 -

In my world, when I see someone getting angry they are asking to be loved, respected and understood. 

For a s long as there is fear, a lack of respect and misunderstandings in this world, there will be a need for anger.

Lets all work on the above or get use to the emotion.

Swami, what you said tells me a lot about you, only, you no longer want to be analyzed and I respect that. :wink: Just for fun, if you care to in your own time, use your objectivity on what you said (as if someone else said it) and see what you uncover about yourself.

And since you brought up the topic, I am going to post an insightful article here about tough love. I recall someone here saying they were in support of it and when asked to give an example of how it can be encouraging, they didn't respond. BRB with it.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3037068 -

Tough Love Versus Tender Love

Love is the beauty in our eyes as we smile softly, gently, kindly, a tender
caring thing.

There may be a hard edge to certain situations, certain kinds of
discipline, the urgency for safety or to focus in a time sensitive activity,
moments of confrontation, tough love in which the message is more important than
people pleasing.

But if the tough love becomes habitual, becomes the way of things, something
different has evolved. Anger has a way of slipping in and justifying itself. The
rationale may appear to be solid. Self righteousness has its own way of
asserting its moral authority.

The key is that if anger is not noticeably different from our normal behavior we
are probably tending toward something abusive, emotionally and spiritually
damaging.

And whether we are the one who is angry, or are witness to it, or victims of it,
we need to go to the spiritual center, find the peace and love within so that
our reaction to it is not more anger.

Anger is a virus. The healing of the infection comes from love,
sometimes from tough love. But watch out! Tough love is close enough to be
indistinguishable from the actual viral infection of anger.

Best not to think in terms of tough love.

Better to think in terms of tender love. That's the 99.9 percent
effective way of dealing with things.

Tough love may induce surrender to the the truth. But tender love will lead us
to embrace it.


Emanations
Copyright ? 2004 by John MacEnulty
7/19/2004, St. Louis, MO


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3037098 -

Very nice, jiggy.  :thumbup:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3037165 -

Years ago I adopted a cat from a deceased friend. He was a beautiful animal and we got along great. Then he started pissing all over ruining expensive things, though I kept his litter box very clean. Treating him as if he were a dog, I stuck his nose in it, whacked him and dropped him in his box. The problem got worse and I chased him round the house to beat him. He wouldn't learn and I got more emphatic. After one session, I felt just awful for both of us and I cried my heart out for hurting the little fellow are for taking a perverse delight in having an excuse to do so.

I was ready to give him away when I used the internet and discovered that he had a urinary tract infection which was easily cured.

To show that I have a whacky side, the cat's name was Pepper which I didn't seem to fit. So one night I asked him his real name. I "intuited" his response as Mufti - a name I never heard before. One day, an Iranian friend was over and asked the cat's name. When I told him, he said it was Persian for royalty.



"Don't beat me daddy!"


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037269 -

Man I love these posts from people that come from the heart. They are the ones that give me hope for the human race as a whole. Heart will take us anywhere we want to go as an individual or as a species.

My childhood cats name was also Pepper. Your's is beautiful. What is she, a ragdoll tabby mix? As a kid, I intuited my cats name to be sophie, my older brother named her Pepper. Latter I found out that was the name for the femine christ energy. I thought that was cool.

Cats are funny creatures- they do stuff out of physical ilness like yours did but mental too. My sister got a second cat to help keep her first one company and maybe soften it up a bit because that thing is MEAN. The next day, when she came home from work, it shit all over the foyer right where she would be sure to step in it before she turned on the lights. Buster let her know how he felt about the new family member in no uncertain terms. LOL It was the only time in 4 years it never used the box. I love cats, have a spotted tabby myself. It is actually striped so I don't know why they call them spotted?????????

I enjoyed reading your story very much. I think a lot can learn from it as it beheld many meanings and lessons.


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Frog]
    #3037307 -

Thanks frog, glad you liked it. I was an advocate of tough love myself and when I found that article, it had me seeing things in a new light. I use to beleive in tough love in extreme situations, now I aspire to practice gentle love. I will forever be a work in progress LOL

To the general public;

I wanted to add to something I said in the above. When you feel angry, if you respond in anger, the chances are you won't get the love, consideration or respect you are looking for. If you don't respond in anger, you may still not get those things from another (chances are you will though if you respond by giving what you wish to get.) But, when you don't from the other party, remember that you can always give love, respect and consideration to yourself. If you can get in the habit of doing that on a regular basis, you will find that you rarely, if ever get angry. Getting enough sleep helps to and so does patience and slow deep breathing!

Anyone else here have a life lesson of aquiring patience???????


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Ahuwale ka nane huna.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037335 -

I don't really have any emotions at all. I'm good at faking it though.


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We're the lowest of the low, the scum of the fucking earth!

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: gettinjiggywithit]
    #3037393 -

I believe in tough love. We just don't need the anger that sometimes comes with it.

I was talking to someone once who said it's easier to start off nice and become an asshole than to start off as an asshole and have to back up to being nice, even if you had a right to become pisses off.

Also, my ex-mother-in-law used to say that you can get more with honey than you can with vinegar.


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037407 -

Nice post's shroomerings, im glad to see people with such heart and reason in the world,It gives me hope for the future!!

When it comes down to it love can solve any problem related to tough love, although different types of people and animals respond differently i know the majority will react to soft tender love and forgiveness than physical punishment.

Another one for the books swami

EZ

MBA

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Frog]
    #3037664 -

I believe in spanking, but let's not go there...


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The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037885 -

I have struggled long and hard with my anger. I still have a lot of it. It took me forever to understand that it came from within and was not caused by the actions of others. Anger is a choice...it can also become a habit. As a larger than normal person in high school and in the Army I was subject to much abuse for being different. I discovered that if I became an enraged psychopath people would keep their distance. Ten years later I realised I really was an enraged psychopath from all the practice. Not many people would associate with me, and some familly members and associates even felt physically threatened by my very presence. I have overcome much of this, but it requires concious effort 24 hours a day. If I let my guard down I become belligerant before I am even aware of it. My wife recently admitted that the only reason she stayed with me for the first 8 years of our marriage was she was scared I would kill her if she left. I have never hit her or threatened her, but my general demeanor scared her. This is a battle I wage every minute of every day. I now will smile at people and say things like "Have a nice day.", but it is a concious effort.

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Re: Getting Angry [Re: Swami]
    #3037962 -

http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat...;o=&fpart=1

This thread seems to be the almost same thing, albeit the original author took a more positive approach (forgiveness) to it rather than negative (anger).

Personally I think one must always try to forgive everything - which just means letting go of anger (not that this means being stupid: protect yourself from crime, etc.) Revenge/anger seem so intensely satisfying, but not good for the soul in the long term.


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Hang on tightly ... and let go lightly.

Edited by YahoKa (08/22/04 10:00 PM)

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