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Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience
    #29645260 -

Hi, I 25M had my first psychedelic trip with some friends a month ago. We didn't take mushrooms, but magic truffles instead, approximately 10g each. The trip itself was good; we felt very relaxed (almost sleepy) and saw mild visuals like things moving or breathing, lights appearing brighter than usual, and (when I closed my eyes) some fractals and cool things.

After about 4 hours, as the trip was winding down, we went for a walk. Once everyone got back to their hotel rooms, I tried to go to sleep, but couldn't fall asleep for 1-2 hours because I kept replaying the events of the day in my head, experiencing rapid thoughts and vivid memories of what we had done. The next day, I was exhausted from not sleeping well. Two days later, I went to a music festival like nothing had happened. We enjoyed it, and everything was fine (that week I felt 100% like myself).

Then, I came back from my trip (I was abroad) with a severe flu I caught at the festival. The day after I arrived home, I started experiencing severe anxiety: my heart was racing, my stomach hurt (eating was difficult), and I couldn't stop obsessing over what I had done that day. I kept repeating the question, "Why did I take the truffles?" over and over in my head. I remember seeing people on TV or in YouTube videos and wondering, "Did that person do drugs too?" feeling a sense of guilt and shame about what I had done, which kept the anxiety alive.

Days passed, and the anxiety is now slowly subsiding, but it has been a month and I still have good days and bad days. The bad days start when I think about the psychedelic experience. It's weird for me because I didn't have a bad trip, yet I still feel guilty about it, and that triggers my anxiety all over again. If I don't think about it, I'm fine, but somehow thinking about drugs or anything related acts as an anxiety trigger.

Has anyone had a similar experience? How can I overcome this overthinking? Or am I missing something related to that trip that could be beneficial, perhaps pointing to an internal conflict with something I haven't figured out yet?

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645277 -

first of all, welcome to the shroomery

im sorry to hear your first experience has come with a harsh afterglow. are you able to pinpoint the origin of your guilt? i can only infer from your language "did that person do drugs too?" that the social stigma against drugs is weighing on you. taking shrooms (or truffles in this case) is your birthright as a human, there is nothing to be ashamed of. i don't want to ramble on further on just an assumption. im sure the flu had something to do with the intrusive thoughts.

wait a while, at least a few weeks, and try jumping in again.

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome]
    #29645294 -

Do you struggle with guilt in other aspects of life?


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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky] * 1
    #29645366 -

rupertsky said:
Hi, I 25M had my first psychedelic trip with some friends a month ago. We didn't take mushrooms, but magic truffles instead, approximately 10g each. The trip itself was good; we felt very relaxed (almost sleepy) and saw mild visuals like things moving or breathing, lights appearing brighter than usual, and (when I closed my eyes) some fractals and cool things.

After about 4 hours, as the trip was winding down, we went for a walk. Once everyone got back to their hotel rooms, I tried to go to sleep, but couldn't fall asleep for 1-2 hours because I kept replaying the events of the day in my head, experiencing rapid thoughts and vivid memories of what we had done. The next day, I was exhausted from not sleeping well. Two days later, I went to a music festival like nothing had happened. We enjoyed it, and everything was fine (that week I felt 100% like myself).

Then, I came back from my trip (I was abroad) with a severe flu I caught at the festival. The day after I arrived home, I started experiencing severe anxiety: my heart was racing, my stomach hurt (eating was difficult), and I couldn't stop obsessing over what I had done that day. I kept repeating the question, "Why did I take the truffles?" over and over in my head. I remember seeing people on TV or in YouTube videos and wondering, "Did that person do drugs too?" feeling a sense of guilt and shame about what I had done, which kept the anxiety alive.

Days passed, and the anxiety is now slowly subsiding, but it has been a month and I still have good days and bad days. The bad days start when I think about the psychedelic experience. It's weird for me because I didn't have a bad trip, yet I still feel guilty about it, and that triggers my anxiety all over again. If I don't think about it, I'm fine, but somehow thinking about drugs or anything related acts as an anxiety trigger.

Has anyone had a similar experience? How can I overcome this overthinking? Or am I missing something related to that trip that could be beneficial, perhaps pointing to an internal conflict with something I haven't figured out yet?



Guilt in relation to psychedelics, is not often discussed on forums like this one, but very real downside for many people.

I used to get terrible guilt. I felt irresponsible (especially with grows or extractions going during the subconscious manifesting experience) with paranoid fears of arrest or a possible psychotic reaction. I’d worry about my parents or my family and ruminate on how much damage my selfish behavior might cause them.

But this is a failure to remain focused on the moment during the experience itself and instead to get fixated on bad things that happened before, or might happen in the future! 

Learn how to trip only in the moment. Psychedelics facilitate meditation very well IME not only in how they make thoughts so much more cumbersome and noticeable but also in how they make it so much easier to visualize the effects of meditation.

Mediation is tailor made for the psychedelic experience because the essence and joy of surrender is better taught in simulated times of great turmoil where one might, for example, erroneously believe he is dying or going insane. Once you surrender to this, the personal simulation of hell quickly transforms into nirvana.

The only escape during bad trips is to focus on the present moment and thereby become one with the experience.

I know that sounds a tad trite but it just means that instead of the trip being focused on you, that you become more a part of the furniture.

There’s no you to hurt anymore. Ego death basically.


--------------------
"I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of."

Pennywise the dancing clown


Edited by wolf8312 (08/16/26 02:02 PM)

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome]
    #29645369 -

My family, they don't see drugs as a think we should do or anything like that, it's demonized if thats a term and every thing they say about drugs is bad. From an early age I've been hearing this, you think that could be it?

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: seldom seen]
    #29645371 -

No, never struggled with guilt

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645407 -

rupertsky said:
No, never struggled with guilt



What makes you sure that the psychedelics you took are related to the feelings you have been having in their aftermath?


--------------------
"I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of."

Pennywise the dancing clown


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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645412 -

i guessed that it was because of family pressure, but i didn't want to put words in your mouth.

you say you didn't feel any sense of wrongdoing until many days after the trip. did something else happen that started these feelings?

family pressures suck. i learned to stop caring what my family thinks of me a long time ago, but then again ive always been the black sheep and my dad's side of the family has spent the last 23 years pretending i dont exist. from my experience, family is bullshit. you are not your ancestors, you are your own person and you owe it to yourself to live your own life the way you want

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome]
    #29645439 -

I, myself, ended up having conversation after conversation with my mum about the reality of different drugs having different amounts and types of risks associated with them and over the years I think I’ve managed to open up her mind significantly to the facts.

If your parents partake in the consumption of alcohol, or have done in the past, but demonise other drugs (like my parents did), then they’re being hypocritical to some degree. Most people are like that because it’s what they’ve been led to believe by governments and sometimes religion.

After a lot of talks with my Mum I think I’ve finally brought her to see that my own drug use is usually pretty informed and safe. I try to steer clear of the most harmful and addictive substances and gravitate towards lower doses of things generally. She’s much less worried about it all than she used to be and she doesn’t hound me about it at all anymore.

So I guess my point is not to worry because over time your actions of being sensible with your drug use and possibly your commitment to being open and honest about the facts will eventually prove that there is not much to worry about. Just relax and try to have faith that the ones you love will accept you for who you are.


--------------------
"God is an intelligible sphere, whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere."

Llamando la Mareacion

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: wolf8312]
    #29645446 -

I've never had any anxiety or mental issues before, like never ever. Thats why im pointing it to that experience, I can be wrong but I link it to that, the fact that if I try to think about it triggers the anxiety gives me a reason. It's weird to me because since this is my first time you don't know what to expect on the aftermath haha

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome]
    #29645451 -

Not really, just came back from a really intense and amazing vacations, almost no good sleep for days after the experience. But something like a traumatic event or similar no, thats why its weird to me

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645472 -

well i dont know how much more can be said on it. shrooms tend to amplify whatever it is you have going on internally. feelings of guilt arent intrinsic to the experience, but feeling things a bit 'extra' is normal. give it some time i suppose.

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645473 -

Is the fear about losing connection to those you love?

I can see hiding something creating that kind of fear, or fear of them losing respect for you, or fear that you'll cause them unnecessary worry, or something to do with the illegality.

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Freedom]
    #29645475 -

Thank you for the advise guys, since they are small episodes I'll keep focusing on my normal life things (as this anxiety disappears while doing them) and give it time to heal!

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Freedom]
    #29645476 -

Yes, can be that "or fear of them losing respect for you, or fear that you'll cause them unnecessary worry", should I talk with my family about it?

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645480 -

rupertsky said:
should I talk with my family about it?



nobody can answer this for you but you, but i would sleep on the idea.

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome]
    #29645482 -

I'll talk it with my doctor first to get his opinion on this, it could be a good input

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: rupertsky]
    #29645486 -

the quality of my advice can only go so far. i dont know you or your family and how they might react and i would hate to advise you to do something that might blow your life up

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Belome] * 1
    #29645489 -

Depending on how touchy the subject is, you might need to slowly lull them into this conversation over time, maybe over many conversations... Or maybe they are fairly open minded and conversations about touchy subjects aren’t the be and end all?

If it gets heated just give it time to cool down.

Try not to worry too much about causing them to worry… parents worry, it’s normal. It’s normal for kids to do things which push boundaries. What matters is that you know you haven’t done anything which should cause anyone much worry. You ate some truffles and had a psychedelic experience, saw some beautiful things with your friends. Millions of people do this.


--------------------
"God is an intelligible sphere, whose center is everywhere and whose circumference is nowhere."

Llamando la Mareacion

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Re: Anxiety and Guilt after first psychedelic experience [Re: Bardy]
    #29645495 -

for the reasons bardy outlined, i say sleep on it and revisit the idea when you are feeling less raw.

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