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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan] * 3
    #29626218 -

there's no shame in asking for help, is all, labels aside. just deal with it is not much help, lol


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Learn it, know it, live it


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs] * 2
    #29626299 -

That's tough that you felt that way with your kids. I hope you're better now. Not just for you, but for the kids, too.

My last post is saying pretty much what I said to start to conversation. I said it again, rewording it along the way, because it is important to me that it comes out as clear as possible. Thanks, guys, for hearing me.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 6
    #29626314 -

“Shared pain is lessened; shared joy, increased — thus do we refute entropy." Stated another way: "Just as there are Laws of Conservation of Matter and Energy, so there are in fact Laws of Conservation of Pain and Joy. Neither can ever be created or destroyed. But one can be converted into the other.”
― Spider Robinson from Callahan's Crosstime Saloon series.

Good series that doesn't get enough love, imho.

Can't type well today because I was trying to fix a sticking sliding glass door. Gave it all of my weight, it gave loose catching the tip of my index finger. Took the whole front of the top finger pad off. Good thing that there are hardly any nerve ending there. Oh wait...

Fortunately it only hurts when my heart beats now. So I got that going for me ...  which is nice.

Edit to make it cult related. I was planning an FFU session today. Still going to do it, but setting expectations low. Just glad that I got all of my spawning and casing done earlier. I know, "boo hoo, suck it up, Buttercup." :wink:


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Stoned Gummys | BRF Pucks | Primo Reusable Plates | Easy LI 4 Preserv & Propo
"Psychedelics are powerful substances. Nothing that powerful is completely safe... and nothing completely safe is that powerful!" - Abigail Calder at ALPS 2023
Don't Panic

Edited by ReverendMyc (07/17/26 11:19 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ReverendMyc] * 1
    #29626317 -

Oof. Yeah it's wildly difficult to apply brute force and retain dexterity/finesse. Hope it heals quickly.


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Mycology is my current hyperfixation
Uncommunicated expectations are just premeditated resentments.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Mistakes] * 4
    #29626322 -

Thorough healing to you, Reverend.

A friend of ours was found dead today. He had been missing for over a week. It's weird how the sensitive, empathic, egalitarian people seem to die so young.

Met him at a festival eight years ago. A really radiant person. Made weird and beautiful art. Guy was a few years younger. He could have become a dad, one of these years, or a carpenter, an opiate addict, whatever, but he opted out.

Life is short


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Also I tooted churp for being a lowbrow puppet, it's so obvious.
I also added them both to my nazi watchlist in my journal, so we can watch them

-Jean-Luc Picard


Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle]
    #29626341 -

Sorry to hear that, Churp. Mush love, man.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 4
    #29626385 -

Man I feel you Hendrix.
Thanks for being real and honest.
I can assure you what you feel is an experience that others feel. You are not alone. I've been that way before and still am although I'm a bit better at not giving a crap anymore.

Just keep grooving. The fact you can acknowledge your worries means you are already doing more than most


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle] * 2
    #29626386 -

Sorry to hear that Churpee. Life is short.
Your friend sounded awesome and it sounds like they had a good time, if a short time, doing art and making good relationships


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: B Traven] * 2
    #29626392 -

B Traven said:
I confess that excessive heat and social isolation is triggering a wave of extra obnoxiousness in me. Well, that's my "excuse" anyway.




Do you work outdoors? Dude it's been a blaster of a humid hot week. Finally done, and next week it cools down.

Almost didnt go to work today because I wanted to rest. But why work overtime all week just to lose it taking a day off?


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Yeah it's fun, but have you ever tried it high?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: hidingbush]
    #29626415 -

Gilmour Hendrix said:
That's tough that you felt that way with your kids. I hope you're better now. Not just for you, but for the kids, too.

My last post is saying pretty much what I said to start to conversation. I said it again, rewording it along the way, because it is important to me that it comes out as clear as possible. Thanks, guys, for hearing me.



Yes. Life is much better. One reason why I’m happy to see you being open and honest about identifying the issues. Cause that truly is the start.

And part of the reason I don’t like the “suck it up and deal with it” mentality  i can E brag about who I am in real life and what others thought of me when all my shit came crashing down, but I rather someone not get as low as I was at one point. I am truly happy you opened up here friend!

Churpee Choozle said:
Thorough healing to you, Reverend.

A friend of ours was found dead today. He had been missing for over a week. It's weird how the sensitive, empathic, egalitarian people seem to die so young.

Met him at a festival eight years ago. A really radiant person. Made weird and beautiful art. Guy was a few years younger. He could have become a dad, one of these years, or a carpenter, an opiate addict, whatever, but he opted out.

Life is short



Sorry to hear Churp.


hidingbush said:
B Traven said:
I confess that excessive heat and social isolation is triggering a wave of extra obnoxiousness in me. Well, that's my "excuse" anyway.




Do you work outdoors? Dude it's been a blaster of a humid hot week. Finally done, and next week it cools down.

Almost didnt go to work today because I wanted to rest. But why work overtime all week just to lose it taking a day off?



Totally in on the fuck the humidity crew. I live with dry heat, then this damn humidity rolled in and it can fuck right on off.

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs]
    #29626806 -

Big internet hug for you churp. Very sorry to hear that.


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.~`  𝔅 𝔞 𝔤 𝔢 𝔩  🥯  𝔅 𝔦 𝔱 𝔢 𝔰  `~.
:salute: CAKE WARS III HAPPENING NOW :salute:

🧪 Castellani Preservation | 🔬 The Slidewich | ☠️ Touchless skull sterilizer | 📸 Agar plate scanner


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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Rasmodius]
    #29626824 -

Thanks all. Life is weird and short. We distract ourselves with bullshit and then it's over. Which is ok, I wouldn't want to live forever, no thanks. I just hate saying farewell that's all.

Back to reading warped notes and making unnecessary adaptations to the house. Distract with bullshit.


--------------------
Also I tooted churp for being a lowbrow puppet, it's so obvious.
I also added them both to my nazi watchlist in my journal, so we can watch them

-Jean-Luc Picard


Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Churpee Choozle]
    #29626834 -

What kind of  unnecessary adaptations?

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: DV8DUG] * 3
    #29626848 -

Oh man, for all the tough shit I have gone through,  a finger booboo can turn me into such a piss baby. Most recently I had a great big Rosethorn right under my fingernail. Duc how to dig it out and man you should have seen me squirm. You would think after 25 years with this shit I would wear gloves but I can't stand goddamn gloves

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: BeefExtreme] * 1
    #29626895 -

No glove no love baby

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: DV8DUG] * 1
    #29626992 -

DV8DUG said:
What kind of  unnecessary adaptations?



Mainly creating a large tent around my bed and more firewood storage. Also more ovoid beds and new window deco.




--------------------
Also I tooted churp for being a lowbrow puppet, it's so obvious.
I also added them both to my nazi watchlist in my journal, so we can watch them

-Jean-Luc Picard


Species grown 2025-26
https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/29367720#29367720

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Gilmour Hendrix] * 2
    #29627006 -

No worries, Hendrix, I'm the same way. Its a self fulfilling prophecy to some point. On another level its how you grew up. Your environment. Either way don't think that its always your fault. What helped me in social situations was just being calm and thinking before I react or speak. I still have a long way to go dealing with avoidance, low self-esteem, anger, spite, vengeance, paying attention, girls,... the list goes on. You are never alone in these spaces. Everyone feels this to a certain extent. Don't feel like you're less than anyone else. We are all human beings under different conditions. We all start from the same point and then the world happens to us.This community is largely awesome. I also thank them for being kind. Either way you can DM me or ask these good people for advice if you need it.

It's hilarious I meant this to be like 3 lines..

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: ReverendMyc] * 1
    #29627010 -

I audibly reacted when I heard the fingernail thing. That's rough. And the index finger too. I demolished the top of my index finger with a sawzall once. 12 stitches. The pad didn't rip off. It was cut in like 6, 7 places. But hey, just wanted to say everything grew back normally and I  can't even see scars. Just one where I cut myself to the bone when I was a kid. You will get better and I sympathize for how long and annoying that is going to be.

Edited by PanSiyan (07/18/26 11:51 AM)

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: Splittinghairs] * 4
    #29627060 -

The worst pain in recent memory was having a tick dug out of the sweet meat on my flank. In the most tickle tickle area of your side, that lil bugger had to go deep to hit pay dirt. I couldn't reach it so I went to the doc to have it removed. The lady said it 'disintegrated' when she tried to pull it out. I thought it was weird that she smirked when she said it. "Gotta get the head outta there or it'll get infected." She said as she browsed a tray of torture utensils. "Ah ha!" Held tightly in her right hand, she thrusted a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers into the air. I could see the sparkle from the tweezers glinting off of her tear filled, hazel eyes as she whispered "fuck yes!" under her breath. "Saddle up, bitch boy! It's time to ride!", she said as she slapped my ass, mounted me like this wasn't her first rodeo, and plunged the gaudy surgical instrument into my open wound. I wimpered and squirmed under her determination. "Yaaaassssss...", she hissed. The clicking and snapping of the tweezers reverberated off the bleach white walls of the exam room. I could feel the jaws of the tweezers clamping down onto individual nerve endings before she ripped another small piece of flesh from the bottom of the widening wound. "Ah, shoot. Missed it again.", she chuckled. I started to pass out when she stopped and called to the other room. "Derek! I need some light! Get in here!" Derek came hobbling in from the hall. He was about a four foot tall, rotund dwarf, ball gagged and bound with black vinyl tape with a D cell maglite strapped to his sweaty bald head. He had a small wooden stool chained to his left ankle that dragged behind him. I realized I was tapping my foot to the rhythmic scuffle of his feet and scoot of the stool as he made his way to the room. The shuffle scoot stopped. Derek hops up on his stool, the nurse clicks on the light. "Alright... now lemme show you where to shine that light", the nurse said spitting into the wound then wiping away the saliva and blood with the cuff of her shirt sleeve. "There." A hot poker in my side, the clicking and snapping resumes. I look down at Dereks grimacing face. He looks up at me shaking his head, mumbling and bubbling behind the ball gag. To this day, I'm not sure what he said to me. I didn't have a chance to ask at the time since I passed out from the pain immediately after. When I came to, I was laying in my boxers at the end of my driveway. My chest slathered in ointment, a bandage on my knee, and an open wound on my side. The dead leaves and pebbles from my driveway stuck to me as I stood up. Tire skid marks hashed off the end of my driveway, across a 4x4 stump where my mailbox once stood, and into the ravine next to the driveway. "Shit", I choked. My car is in the ravine, hazard lights still flashing. What a ride...

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Re: Cultivation confessional [Re: PanSiyan]
    #29627062 -

Thanks, Pan. I appreciate that. I do ok providing for myself. Relationships with others could improve. If I'm going to get to the next step in my career, I need to address a few things.

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