yeah, same for me too. Whenever i smoke pot while tripping, it REALLY intensifies things. Sometimes it makes amazing visuals happen, other times it seems to "darken" the trip and cause me to worry more about things than i really need to. Its weird because almost every time i smoke pot while tripping, it makes the trip alot more difficult, but for some reason, i keep doing it. Its like, even though i know/feel that it MIGHT not be quite as fun anymore, the intensity and possibility of learning something outweigs that negative...i dunno, its hard to describe.
The other night, i tripped harder on acid than i ever have before (hehe, ignore all other posts of mine regarding the "controllability" of acid... Man was i wrong.
I took 2 hits of gel-tab, then 2 hours later, another 1/2, and then another hour later, 1/2 more. Everything was going great, i was by myself with a few really cool dogs, isolated on a beautiful piece of property in northern ca, and really enjoying everything...
Then, i decided to smoke pot....wooooooooowww
I forgot that the stuff i had (something called purple dragon....REALLY great taste to it) was creeper pot. So, i took 4-5 hits of it in a matter of 10 minutes.....then it started creeping up on me. Oh my god... My mind got turned on like someone hit the switch, and i was thinking things so quickly and in such a strange way that it was both exhillerating and terriifying. I was sitting in front of one of the statues there and looking out over the valley, iwht the lights and stars (it was around 4 am), and contemplating everything. I would close my eyes, and my thoughts would just take over. The visuals i was getting at this point were really cool, but not quite amazing enough for me... I noticed that i was going in loops of thought...but they werent quite "loops", becausee every time i would come back to the starting point, i would be more self aware as to what was really going on. So, my profound thought at that moment was that it was like my mind was caught in an upward spiral, going in circles, but still progressing...so of course, i thought, hmm...i wonder if that would apply to time. So, my profound thought ws that time was shaped like an upward spiral...hehe...i thought it was the most mindblowing thing ever for about 10 seconds, then i thought a bit more about it and realized it was onlyt hat amazing cause i was tripping...
So, then i walked back up to the house, and the porch lights were on. I closed my eyes, and suddenly, i was in this AMAZING kaleidascope field of visuals. It was the most amazing thing i had ever seen before. It was so complex, and there were these little blue lights that were racing along different paths at 100 mph...
So, eventually i made it back inside, and that's when things started to go a little awry. I remembered that i was supposed to go to brunch with my family at 11 that morning (it was 5 now and i was tripping harder than ever), and i started panicking that i wouldnt be sober enough to go. So, i got caught in loops that i was disappointing my family becausee it would still be tripping when i saw them, blah blah...hehe
it was interesting though, becausee even through all of this, i was still aware that it was the drug that was doing it...i just came to the realization that i was completely out of my own control..and that was really intimidating because its really the first time on any substance that that has ever happened. I had a bit of a panic attack. And the only way for me to make sense of things was to try to write it down because as soon as i would have a thought, i would be onto something else, and then end up back where i started, over and over.
But then of course, i was writing in loops too...
I remembered then that i had a xanax with me (thank god i brought it, i had forgotten to bring one, but then went back as a "just in case" type thing), took that, and 30 mintues later, i was calm and collected.
After a bit, i fell asleep, and when i woke up, i was just lightly tripping and everything ended up being great...
Anyway, it drained the crap out of me, but my god what an intense/amazing trip...
I had NO idea...wow.
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True wisdom is the knowledge that nothing is impossible except for absolute knowledge.
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