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'life' on antipsychotics
    #28684280 -

Life is no longer life on antipsychotics.  It becomes death pretty much. At least for me anyway.
I keep thinking of the most powerful experience I had (falling in love) and comparing it to how I feel and am living now and there's a huge world of contrast between that and 'life' on meds.

I try not to complain but I can't help but to resort to illogical thinking and speak down on medication.

Is there anybody here that's on these medications that doesn't feel somber, less intelligent, gaunt,lacking in potency and useless?

I'm not myself and because of that I often don't want to associate with people. Plus the connection just isn't there.

Edited by nintendo (03/02/24 08:05 PM)

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28684325 -

It takes time to adjust, eventually you forget what it was like to feel normal, and from there it gets a little easier. 

But ultimately, you're not alone in your opinion; antipsychotics suck ass, they should be used only as a last resort but are often used as the first and last lines of defense against psychosis.  They block dopamine, shrink your brain, and increase your chances of developing diabetes and other diseases.  That said, they can be pretty effective at suppressing psychosis.

As far as where to go from here, I'd start taking a few supplements (Antioxidants, neuroprotectants, anti-inflammatories, etc.) , eating healthier, exercising, and picking a simple goal to work towards a little bit every day.  That's what I've been doing, and it seems to be helping. 

What really helped though was getting my dose of AP's reduced, I'm on the second lowest dose there is now and hoping to try going to the lowest.  My brother even noticed a difference after my dose was lowered, mentioning something along the lines of seeing me get back up to about 70% of where I was pre-diagnosis, as opposed to the 40% where I was at on the standard recommended dose.

Just my 2¢.


--------------------
O son of Kunti, I am the taste of water, the light of the sun and the moon, the syllable om in the Vedic mantras; I am the sound in ether and ability in man.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: yoosername]
    #28684355 -

Thanks yoosername. I appreciate the response.

Reduction in dose is definitely something I need to look at once I'm back on it(have had a 3 month break from it to no avail).

That heavy uninspired feeling is really something else

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo] * 2
    #28684418 -

So you are not currently on it and still experience the side-effects? Or do they go away on stopping? I know I used to get long-term persistent side-effects stopping psych meds (ssris in my case).

You might ask your doctor about trying a new type of drug - for example there is a new anti-psychotic out, lumateperone, that is said to have less side-effects because its mechanism of action is slightly different. Most anti-psychotics are strong dopamine blockers with slight action in serotonin. Lumateperone works primarily on serotonin and its dopamine blocking is much lower. As a result you may experience less side-effects on this drug. Though, it is expensive without insurance.

Also, Lamotrigine is worth a try. This is a drug that controls schizophrenia symptoms in some, usually used for bipolar; unlike anti-psychotics, it only targets one receptor system (glutamate). I found it to be less dulling than SSRIs. I experience some low feelings when starting. But if you titrate the dose up slowly as is recommended, I think the side-effects would likely be much less. Be aware there's a very specific direction for titrating the dose up which you can find online and talk to your doctor about.

NAC is a supplement found in some preliminary studies to help schizophrenics, with psychosis but especially with 'negative symptoms', the low mood associated with the disease. If you google 'NAC schizophrenia' you can find many forum posts attesting to it, too. Worth a try. I found it an interesting supplement that had psychological effects, but I did experience nausea on it, which was lower at low doses.

Edited by CreonAntigone (03/02/24 10:15 PM)

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: CreonAntigone]
    #28684827 -

Yeah, I'm not on it at the moment and am still experiencing effects.

That's interesting thanks.
I'll look into NACs.

I've got to get the basics right and it's quite hard as low dopamine means low motivation is a problem. Not sure if the medication lumateperone is available here. I may enquire with the doctor

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28687010 -

I get involuntary treatment for psychosis, which means an abilify injection once per month. It does feel as bad as you say, I kind of feel like the springs of action have been impaired, like my emotions have been truncated.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28689371 -

I don't have this experience on lamotrigine, vyvanse, vraylar, and other healthy brain additions like fish oil and nootropics. If anything, I feel more like myself than ever before, motivated, and mostly stable.

But it took me 3 years of trying different meds, and a psychotic break out of left field after being stable and dialed in before on a different mixture of drugs. Things just went sideways with a depressive episode and the cocktail of the months no longer helped during that time.

I'm a believer in, if you're feeling off, your meds aren't dialed in. There are lots of options and if one doesn't work it is worth it to try another. That's my experience. The frustrating part is that it takes time to find the right mix, and once they're dialed in, it might change. I believe it could be better for you. Holding space for that. 🖤

And fwiw you could be going through an extreme low that's impacting your overall life experience right now. This can severely limit the positive effects of meds and change their impact. I went through that last year, meds starting causing side effects that ruined my quality of life and pushed me further into a mixed episode.

Your mileage will definitely vary but I hope something in this is helpful.


--------------------
:happyheart: My Insta - Owlbear Myco :happyheart:

:mushroom2: The Hitchiker's Guide to the Shroomery :mushroom2:
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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo] * 1
    #28689457 -

Lesser of two evils. Antipsychotics suck, but not taking them can lead to homelessness and death. Better drugs need to be invented one day, but until then, it's preferable to the alternative.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28691361 -

Cory Duchesne said:
I get involuntary treatment for psychosis, which means an abilify injection once per month. It does feel as bad as you say, I kind of feel like the springs of action have been impaired, like my emotions have been truncated.


I was on 350mg of clopixol injection weekly(I'm quite sure that that's way too much). I had a review a few days ago and now the prescription will be 2mg of risperidone tablet daily.

I get what you mean about truncated emotions.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nooneman]
    #28691387 -

nooneman said:
Lesser of two evils. Antipsychotics suck, but not taking them can lead to homelessness and death. Better drugs need to be invented one day, but until then, it's preferable to the alternative.


*sighs*

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691450 -

The following video is the subject matter that hospitalized me. Bickering over duties, chores and obligations, micro management, control... these are all the things that went into my hospitalization and subsequent CTO (community treatment order)


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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28691510 -

That's messed up. From then on you were on antipsychotics?

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691533 -

Not exactly in that order.  Let me be perfectly honest. How it started.... I left two garbage bags tucked neatly along the deck outside. That garbage was mine, but there was no food waste in those garbage bags. The landlord texted me to "please take my garbage out the curb, it attracts rodents." But here's the problem, it was on a Wednesday and garbage day is on Monday. I thought it was unreasonable for him to tell me to take it out the curb that early, so I lost my temper and told the landlord I had a weapon and to call the police. Sound like an overreaction?  It was, but my patience had already snapped from earlier events.  Police showed up at nighttime, and there were 4 police officers at my door, at night. I locked the door and told them I was getting a weapon. The landlord had given the police a key to the apartment I guess, because they came in seconds after I retreated up the stairs. Police officer tackled me to the floor of my bedroom and put me in a choke hold from behind. They cuffed me, brought me to the hospital and force drugged me and kept me in the hospital for 1 month. After releasing me, they put me on what is called a CTO and it was only then that my neighbor gaslit me about her garbage being mine, telling me to clean it up.  So, I was gaslit almost immediately after being hospitalized. But the thing that hospitalized me was the issue of garbage. I thought it was reasonable to leave two garbage bags outside, and I was careful not to have any food waste in the garbage. This is about micromanagement and risk aversion.  Basically, Wednesdays are usually a nightmare for me. Prior to hospitalization, I also spent the night at my folks and heard a rapid fire slapping noise from the living room, sounded like energetic sex, but I couldn't tell who was there, and it was at my folks place. It was also on a Wednesday. I've had some seriously shitty luck when it comes to my ears. Also neighbor complained about the sound of me closing my door too loud. It's literally like I couldn't exist or breathe, that every move I made was problematic, and I too was having unpleasant and confusing noise coming through my ears.  Whether it's loud sounds, unpleasant smells, the senses are being attacked. I'm diligent with the garbage, there's never any food waste in my garbage. I stopped being a vegetarian because it made me aggressive and so now my garbage is not as clean as it used to be, as there is now meat packaging left over and so now it genuinely does make a stink, unlike before.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691541 -

I've been on antipsychotics ever since the police came to my apartment because me and the landlord disagreed about procedure as it relates to trash disposal, and I verbally threatened him over the phone with a weapon. I threatened the police as well when they showed up at night.  I overreacted, but I had lost my patience prior due to some other events that were inexplicable to me.  I had been taken to the hospital by the police before 3 other times, so I just lost my patience with the frequent hospitalizations. I guess you could say I have had some anger issues. The antipsychotic does take away the anger. But I'm left feeling kind of lost and truncated, blunted, dazed. I remain confused about some things that happened at my folks place.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691564 -

"The light of human reason is locked up in the dark of animal instinct."
49. K'an, The Abyss (I-Ching)

"We can't reach old age by another man's road. My habits protect my life, but they would assassinate you." - Mark Twain

Waiting to Be Arrested at Night: A Uyghur Poet's Memoir of China's Genocide
Tahir Hamut Izgil, Joshua L Freeman, (Translation)

"The history of man is the history of crimes, and history can repeat. So information is a defense. Through this we can build, we must build, a defense against repetition."
(Simon Wiesenthal, Baltimore Jewish Times, February 24, 1989)



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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28691565 -

Sorry to hear that. Those earlier events must've been pretty bad.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691604 -

When in deep shit, the tendency is to analyze the past and figure out at what point did it all go wrong. I can trace it back to a time when I was 17 years old drinking vodka before a highshcool dance and then developing a cannabis smoking habit. After a four year relationship with my first girlfriend, my twenties were a fog of depression. My thirties were a resurgence, and my late thirties became an angry thing. I'm 43 now, and the system has got me cornered, I'm trapped in a CTO, injected with abilify (apriprizole). Here's a video where I talk about art, film and my own personal experience as a young person:


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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: Cory Duchesne]
    #28691659 -

Watched the video. Thanks for sharing (recently gave up tobacco.  Its been more or less 2 months)
The point you made about consumption and producing garbage is true.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691766 -

Congrats for breaking free from tobacco. I still find myself somehow managing to get my hands on some, haven't managed to quit yet. I plan on quitting, but the time drags on so slow sometimes, it's almost like there's too many hours in the day and I'm just not engaged enough with life, somehow stuck outside of the flow of life. So there's that vacant empty time to fill gets me itching to smoke, just to pass the time. I take sleeping pills and go to bed early, and honestly, going to bed and sleeping is something I look forward to more so than being awake. I wake up ... and by about the afternoon I'm wishing the day was over, but it's not, there's that long stretch of time and I can't quite seem to fill my time well. I play Metroid Dread on the switch and got some old SNES games, however, video games don't quite do it for me now that I'm older, the charm has wore off I guess you could say. I used to be a web developer with html, php, css and adobe illustrator but it's like I hit a wall and couldn't progress any further. I lost contact with friends, and the pandemic just beat the shit out of me. Everything seemed to fall apart for me around 2020. The past 4 years, pretty much a living hell, but I'm going to keep writing and making videos and learning to think clearly and honestly.

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Re: 'life' on antipsychotics [Re: nintendo]
    #28691843 -

Does God Speak to You?


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