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Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. * 1
    #26126756 -

I just cant progress in life with them present anymore. Its ungodly hard for me not to do ketamine with it so available at the moment, but Im letting it tear me away from all my friends and family. Up until last week I was doing a minimum of 1.5 grams a day...enough to get into a chaotic hole that would always be deeper than the last....

With me the rabbit hole never stops on ketamine...it always goes deeper. After doing 14 grams in 48 hours last week ( probably not even my worst binge ) I have finally had enough...

I have everything I could ask for at my finger tips except a few essential things I have to be patient for, and yet I keep using them to blow cash and ruin my body. I cant even go to social events anymore because I always too high, or too strung out.

I'm getting my ASE certification next month, and Im going to have my drivers license back after 3 years in 4 months. Im holding down a house with 5 pets and no car while powders pouring out of my nose...I am excited to see what happens when I am more functional.

Ill be 2 years clean from opiates as of September 5th. Its going to be even better next year when I have 1 year clean from ket and 3 from opiates.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #26126765 -

Good luck to you man. You were on a path to kidney failure, glad to hear you are stopping. A half oz in 48hrs is insane, I couldn't even smoke that much weed at my peak of stoner-ness.


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A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26126772 -

A gram was just 3 fat lines for me, and how much I needed just to get into a hole.


I work at a body shop too, so all the dust in the shop plus the ketamine was going to destroy my sinuses.

Surprisingly everything health wise is still on point, and Ive been well beyond reckless. I cant imagine what this continuous use would have in store, but disso's have taken down some really good people I knew and miss.

No one, including myself, has any desire to see me like that anymore.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26126785 -

SOBRIETY'S YOUR HOME
THERE'S NO PLACE LIKE IT
EXIT HOLE.





You know what I did, at once quit my MXE,. I hope you can get it done.

Your mind's recovery will take about a year.

You made a very good decision, what you did wasnt sustainable.

Be strong, its only psychological habituation, your body says GOOD RIDDANCE from day 1.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26126789 -

Sometimes it's easier to stop in the deep end.  I found k to be a waste and nothing interesting sbout it at all other than a possible pretreatment for shrooms.  But I'm not into dissassociatives at all.


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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26126790 -

Good luck. I never had an issue with K, which is also rare and ungodly expensive around here anymore. I miss the 90s. I had a pretty serious PCP problem though. I manged to stay away only to land myself back in shit after a month or two. It will be 16 years I have stayed away from it in September. My life has had it's rough patches, but it is way better overall.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: NewMessiah]
    #26126804 -

I hit new lows on K I always thought I would avoid...mostly debt and disappointments...but the last few months its been taking me down the path MXE took me which was utter psychosis.

It had some great points for me personally. I had a lot of great times and it helped me with depression when I was ready to put a bullet in my head around Mayish....like I was full on ready to peace out on everyone with no notice given...the only thing that kept me going was ketamine. It would snap me out of my head enough to at least just sit and reflect.  I stared at a wall at home for about 2 months straight just bawling. My.close friends know, but ive been a fucking bitch.

Ive finally got someone back in my life that was very special to me, that had to part ways because of my insane use. I was so toxic in no fun ways....just rambling madness at best. The fact shes stepping back into my life as a friend is enough for me to know this decision is a good one. She doesnt even know I quit, she just misses me.

Ive lived in this house for 18 months and just unpacked.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26126974 -

vandago said:
I hit new lows on K I always thought I would avoid...mostly debt and disappointments...but the last few months its been taking me down the path MXE took me which was utter psychosis



I had a week and a half stay in the loony bin of a general hospital because of dissociatives in January.

I had "hailed a cab ride" to it the PCP way: stark naked, screaming in the street in winter, bleeding profusely from my elbow. Cop cruiser and ambulance. I was cooperative so the ambulance it was.

That isn't me. AT AL.

I had dissociated into psychosis that went on for days and days after the last dose was taken.

Let go before you end up there or worse. If the cops dont kill you the hospital bill will.

Heed my bad example - quit while you're ahead.

A 48h 14 gram binge is the stuff of legend in your life history - but not as much as peeing out chunks of your bladder wall.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26126978 -

Dissociating sucks if you have done it for decades without drugs.  Things would get real weird when mom would go crazy and try to kill us (on accident).


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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #26126983 -

Morel Guy said:
Dissociating sucks if you have done it for decades without drugs.  Things would get real weird when mom would go crazy and try to kill us (on accident).



Sober dissociating is how I got through the first part of my life in more or less one piece.




--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26126986 -

It's not a great mental device.  It can pass a lot of time.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #26126994 -

Dissociating is the doorstep of delusion.  It doesn't numb emotions as much as bring an escape into fantasy.  A fantasy that in my experience was hurtful and not a new bright shiny world.

It's hard to see the world as it is and as we want to see it.  Mostly there seems to be boredom and discontent.  At least in my life.

I just cannot dissociate without getting intensely emotional.  But I suppose I'm cut off from some of the starring out the window being away from suffering.  I don't recall much of my childhood.

Oddly enough thought I've remembered what's important to not forget.  Maybe I've just lost it over the years and cannot handle intense experiences.  I think the med has damaged my brain a lot as well.  Atrophy is likely in 75% of people on anti-psychotics.  The last shot hurt me for days.  Felt like flue symptoms and the heat outside was just hellish combo.  Numbs the shit out of any good feelings.  SO I've been slowly drinking myself back to hopefully having a clear head.

The drs are usually from 3rd world countries and believe they know everything.  Even the American ones don't realize what a patient knows.  There's an overlap period with my med.  Excretion time is 48 days and the shot is every 30.  So I get some joint and nerve problems that come with the flue like symptoms of being over medicated.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #26127093 -

This thread is making me fiend hard.
I really ought to stop posting for a few months but I know come December I’ll drop off the face of the earth.

Anyways, good luck, best wishes.


--------------------
Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

You are Me and I am You.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: SARAtonin]
    #26127144 -

December is the hardest month for me not to do ketamine.

The shit thing about K for me is when Im on my game and responsible with it, Its a tool for me....but when I go off the rails its at the worst fucking possible time.

This recent binge really started back in december and just progressively got worse. My fiance' left me, my paid internship almost let me go, my mom refuses to talk to me until im sober for a lot longer, and my fridge has been empty for months....

I reflect on all of it though...maybe I needed to lose everything Ive lost. Theres no way to ever know if I was sober, would the outcome be different?

All I know is on two seperate occasions ive tried to rip my hair out in one chunk with my own hands but both times luckily someone stopped me. I never hurt anyone else, but I did some things to myself under the influence of disso's that I shudder at.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26127148 -

Sounds as if you could be a poster child for drug rehabilitation.

Get some food in that fridge.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: SARAtonin]
    #26127316 -

SARAtonin said:
This thread is making me fiend hard.
I really ought to stop posting for a few months but I know come December I’ll drop off the face of the earth.

Anyways, good luck, best wishes.


I'm curious what "Stop posting for a few months" has to do with "dropping off the face of the earth in December." Like you think getting away from the Shroomery would help a drug habit? And why December?


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26127336 -

🤰


--------------------
Maiden, Mother, and Crone.

You are Me and I am You.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: SARAtonin] * 1
    #26127346 -

Oh. Didn't know. In vitro? How was that?

...actually you don't have to answer that if you don't want. Off topic and personal


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #26127387 -

First Asante now you Vandango? Damn.

Well, sounds like your quite addicted. I dont blame you. Ketamine is amazing and very addicting. I guess its a mixed blessing i dont have access to it.

Hope it works out for ya.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #26127469 -

Its damn courageous to turn your back on the Mystery of the Hole :makesmecry:


Vandago :hug:


Its comparable to breaking up with someone absolutely fantastic in full knowledge that they are that.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

Onehomemission.org
truly make a difference

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