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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #26127679 -

Morel Guy said:
Sounds as if you could be a poster child for drug rehabilitation.

Get some food in that fridge.


This thread is ABOUT drug addiction :facepalm: . The lack of food in my fridge is a choice. If you read anything youd see I was depressed almost to the point of suicide and barely made it through this time. Do you know how many meals Ive turned down? How much help has been offered to me I turn down? Did it occur to your greener field that maybe I was throwing the towel in due to circumstances not drug related at all? I barely post on this site because of douche bag comments like yours.

Ive spat shit with you back and forth before so I know youre in your own little holier than thou bubble. You would be a poster child for walking a mile in someone elses shoes

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #26127681 -

P.s put some food in my fridge.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26127803 -

I'm high on tramadol right now and I feel so much love, life is an amazing experience, don't take it for granted, once you die you will not return in 100 years 10 thousand years 1 million years or even 1 billion years, you're gone forever.

Edited by Heinrik (08/08/19 10:38 PM)

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26127838 -

Congratulations! That's awesome man. I'm sure it'll be hard now temporarily, but in no time at all you'll be looking back and a year will have passed. You can do it.

I hope you get through all the bullshit you've had to deal with okay. It might seem like things are going shitty sometimes, but if you look at the overall trajectory of your life, things are heading in a great direction. You quit opiates, you quit dissociatives, you've got good career prospects lined up. In a year, things are going to be going great, and I'm sure you'll be happy you made all these changes.

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon.

:manofapproval:

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26127849 -

vandago said:
P.s put some food in my fridge.


I’ve got some old spaghetti you can have.

Whether you’re going to have problems with your health is a crapshoot. I have one friend who has apparently destroyed his bladder from extensive K use. He has to use a catheter now. Another friend, who was the biggest fiend for that shit that I’ve ever known, is perfectly fine.

I hope you’re one of the lucky ones. Be steadfast in your resolve. Seek out some N.A. if you start to waiver, maybe see a doctor about antidepressant medication if you can afford it. Good luck

Edited by LaughNowCryLater (08/09/19 12:34 AM)

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: LaughNowCryLater]
    #26127859 -

Good Job Vandango! Make positive decisions and life will become positive again. Stay strong and be healthy and enjoy life the best that you can. That is what I do and it works for the most part. I recently quit taking opiates recreationally. It's hard, but you can't be free if you're being controlled by drugs.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: LaughNowCryLater]
    #26133301 -

LaughNowCryLater said:
vandago said:
P.s put some food in my fridge.


I’ve got some old spaghetti you can have.

Whether you’re going to have problems with your health is a crapshoot. I have one friend who has apparently destroyed his bladder from extensive K use. He has to use a catheter now. Another friend, who was the biggest fiend for that shit that I’ve ever known, is perfectly fine.

I hope you’re one of the lucky ones. Be steadfast in your resolve. Seek out some N.A. if you start to waiver, maybe see a doctor about antidepressant medication if you can afford it. Good luck


Im very active with my health, even on binges. Cranberry pills, milk thistle, lots of water, light exercise etc.  I go to the doctor very regularly and have to get bloodwork done every time as a just in case over some past stuff. Doctor says im right as rain.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Lophosaurus] * 1
    #26133304 -

Lophosaurus said:
Good Job Vandango! Make positive decisions and life will become positive again. Stay strong and be healthy and enjoy life the best that you can. That is what I do and it works for the most part. I recently quit taking opiates recreationally. It's hard, but you can't be free if you're being controlled by drugs.



My 2 years clean from opiate abuse is in 3 weeks. I cant believe I kicked them but Im so glad I did. Post acute WDs are a bitch, but if you remind yourself thats why you are feeling how you are in those moments, you can prevail.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26133354 -

You need something to fill the hole. Weren't you in to comedy? Or force yourself to exercise when you crave or feel your mind wander. Find a hobby or just something to be passionate about dude. I hold my life together pretty well but my mind is a wreck.. though when I ignore that endless train of thought - straight up just not get on that bitch - I usually find that life is going by at a better pace than I thought.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #26133386 -

XLCaps said:
You need something to fill the hole.



Thats an unfortunate thing to say to someone quitting K


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26133603 -

Yeah I thought about that after :lol:

:rimshot:

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26133691 -

Your stories sound alot like my life near the end of quitting alcohol and cocaine.I will offer one bit of advice, which I usually don't do (because nobody really pays attention to phrases with the word "advice" in them), that is to ask for help when you really need it but least want to ask for it.Don't try to go it alone and don't try to out-think it, your best thinking got you here.
If you can manage a 28 day program somewhere, I would jump on it if for nothing else, to clear your mind and your schedule. People often decline treatment because they are so fucking important that their absence for a few days would cause the earth to stop spinning. Believe me, starting over with a clean perspective is very worth any temporary put offs that may occur from your absence.
....And try to take this on a day by day basis without getting too far into the future or getting derailed by the past exploits. The old saying is "One foot in the future and one in the past has you squatting on today.":hug: You can do this.


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #26133849 -

Trust me if my career, and home would still be there, Id go to a close rehab the second a bed opened. Theres a very good facility close to me that takes my insurance and would be free, but im on a single income with 5 pets.

Im just over a week and its horrible.

Im doing my best not to cave.

Comedy isn't an option for me anymore. I play a lot of drums though. I really just started listening to music again...i stopped all together...life has been so dark....its really only getting darker.

Ive been to rehab twice as it is inpatient and several times out. Done the AA NA stuff, just cant dumb myself down enough to stop being dumb..if that makes sense.

Even on a day to day this is the hardest thing Ive quit, because its always been that drug I desired at a young age, and then my DOC for 16 years.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago] * 1
    #26135016 -

Quote:
. Theres a very good facility close to me that takes my insurance and would be free, but im on a single income with 5 pets.


If you don't mind me asking....If your responsibilities can't wait for a few weeks, what will become of them if you die?


--------------------
Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: bloodsheen]
    #26135075 -

bloodsheen said:
SARAtonin said:
This thread is making me fiend hard.
I really ought to stop posting for a few months but I know come December I’ll drop off the face of the earth.

Anyways, good luck, best wishes.


I'm curious what "Stop posting for a few months" has to do with "dropping off the face of the earth in December." Like you think getting away from the Shroomery would help a drug habit? And why December?



Im pretty sure she is pregnant and is expecting in December.


--------------------

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Thayendanegea]
    #26138453 -

Thayendanegea said:
Quote:
. Theres a very good facility close to me that takes my insurance and would be free, but im on a single income with 5 pets.


If you don't mind me asking....If your responsibilities can't wait for a few weeks, what will become of them if you die?



Ill just let the 3 dogs and 2 cats I have know theyre on their own while dad takes a 3rd crack at rehab. Im sure my landlord can come and take care of them for the whole month I dont pay rent, and my paid intership will be right there waiting for me after a month.

Im not going to die from ketamine, and theres nothing inpatient rehab will do for me that the outpatient I go to cant. Im already past a detox period for it, im cool on watching lame ass beat the streets videos from the 80s, ive seen them enough times.

I just need to school myself, remind myself ive not only done this before, but i have support set up to help me through it emotionally. I dont have the support to not be home everyday and missing a month of work. Reality sucks sometimes but I created this for myself.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26138456 -

Vandago, we cool?


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26138460 -

We are cool. I am a boiling mess and a rollercoaster of emotions that I am doing my best to avoid spilling out on anyone. Ive only been talking to people through text and i know its helping people not get over whelmed by me.

Im pretty much setting myself up for a grueling path of heart broken failure.

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: vandago]
    #26138475 -

vandago said:
Im pretty much setting myself up for a grueling path of heart broken failure.


That attitude pretty much galvanizes it.

You are breaking an addiction that had a stranglehold over your life.

Dissociatives throw a big aura of altered sanity, and we're in it (I quit MXE on the centenary of the Versailles Treaty which concluded my WW1 spirit project) so the turmoil is mostly you returning to sanity.

Swimming helps me, and similar nobrainer activities of simple physical enjoyment.

We been locked in a Hole in our head, time to crawl out and get back on our feet.

Step by step.

Look at it this way: for the coming year, every day will be better than the one before, as your midbrain neurons repolarize.  In a month and a half I lost most my clumsy typos, my tendency to cramping is decreased and I've gotten less inert.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
personal empowerment for the world

:nyan: LGBT - Love God Before Tradition :nyan:

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Re: Ive decided to finally quit dissociatives. [Re: Asante]
    #26138502 -

My typos are a result in smart phone laziness I dont feel like enduring proof reading all the time.

My experience in quitting anything is "I just crawled out of a hole and now Im stuck on a ladder"

Which is where Ill be tomorrow, grinding concrete just to preoccupy my mind.

Everyday has gotten harder and harder. I keep making it that way though. I went to an old moderators wedding last Saturday, he was very happy to have me there and clean, but I brought my ex with me that I didnt realize how madly in love with I still am...I was almost over that heart break too and now Im trying to play it as cool as possible and rekindle it....its working...but only sobriety based...i fuck up sobriety and I fuck up over 2 years of effort her and I put in...weve been broken up since march...i wish i wouldve been sober then and we left on good terms...but it was not good terms at all.

Shes the biggest support i have right now though. Really keeping me on my toes. Even if I dont get my hearts desires, sonething good will definitely come of this effort.

Again, I know Im setting myself up. I just hope its on the right direction. Please spare me on the "no relationship for a year" deal. Ive seen it work for many people.

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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