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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #24927591 -

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Icelander said:
Why are we rule breakers?


In part due to demand-resistance. 

Demand-Resistance is "a chronic and automatic negative inner response to the perception of pressure, expectations, or demands."

The expectations or demands can come from from within ("I hate to do the dishes") or without (marriage vows of monogamy).

Demand-resistance plays a big role in our lives. Super interesting subject.

http://www.squalorsurvivors.com/overcoming/yourself/demand-resistance.shtml


Hey thanks for the link. :thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24930872 -

Maybe the promise of clean disease free genitals isn't what it used to be.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #24930945 -

That's never been true.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24933808 -

How do you mean?

Pretty much the whole point of marriage is vd prevention, strong family unit and all the security stuff said prior.  Emotional security and all that.  Vd can really bring bad emotions.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #24933869 -

also you get a pet human to abuse to your delight if so inclined.
I slept on the couch last night to escape the wrath of Cutie Pie (aries).


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

Edited by redgreenvines (01/22/18 01:33 PM)

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #24933902 -

Morel Guy said:
How do you mean?

Pretty much the whole point of marriage is vd prevention, strong family unit and all the security stuff said prior.  Emotional security and all that.  Vd can really bring bad emotions.



What I meant was disease has always been there and been a risk.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24934137 -

Thats not true. Lots of men from the immediate post war generation, like my father, born 1945 use to say its not their world anymore with all the STDs, condoms and fear.

The nineties or maybe eigthies were when the bad sexually transmitted diseases really took of and became a problem or more prevalent. Thats when or a reason why people swung back towards becoming more prude again, they say you just couldnt just spontaneously start fucking anymore.
At least in west germany.

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #24934146 -

Love the one your with your best friend to many marriages end in divorce

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Murzelpfrumpft]
    #24934154 -

Murzelpfrumpft said:
Thats not true. Lots of men from the immediate post war generation, like my father, born 1945 use to say its not their world anymore with all the STDs, condoms and fear.

The nineties or maybe eigthies were when the bad sexually transmitted diseases really took of and became a problem or more prevalent. Thats when or a reason why people swung back towards becoming more prude again, they say you just couldnt just spontaneously start fucking anymore.
At least in west germany.


Yes it is true. People died of syphilis and other sexually transmitted diseases long before your dear ol daddy was around. They've always been an issue and a problem. Of course no one was as open about it back then.

Now we have more humans on the planet so it makes sense we'd have more disease.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (01/22/18 03:38 PM)

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24934911 -

Icelander said:
I always felt that my partner was supposed to be my best friend.


this is what i always thought.. but now i wonder if relationships arent as much about hiding parts of yourself than sharing.. i mean do people really need to know each other's every thought? is that really a good thing? r u obligated to dispel any illusions u have of each other? dunno man


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dripping with fantasy

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: quinn]
    #24934939 -

I never thought I had to tell my best friend my every thought but when it affected both of us I expected to tell and hear the truth.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24935102 -

true..

idk i guess i had this idea of intimacy as sharing aspects of yourself you dont normally share with others.. but now im doubting how true that is.. like obviously as u say, it has to be within limits, u cant tell eachother every thought... and maybe different people will enable you to share different kinds of things etc... like maybe a healthier approach to relationships rather than hoping 'to be truly known' is assume you'll never be known and work from there... idk just thinking out loud :ohwell:


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dripping with fantasy

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: quinn]
    #24935656 -

I think people get more defensive.  Learning what didn't work and a lot of negative behaviors.  Some dudes are happy with bar scaggs for ever.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: quinn] * 1
    #24935749 -

quinn said:
true..

idk i guess i had this idea of intimacy as sharing aspects of yourself you dont normally share with others.. but now im doubting how true that is.. like obviously as u say, it has to be within limits, u cant tell eachother every thought... and maybe different people will enable you to share different kinds of things etc... like maybe a healthier approach to relationships rather than hoping 'to be truly known' is assume you'll never be known and work from there... idk just thinking out loud :ohwell:


You usually do share more. You build trust. Often however due to lying or not sharing enough the trust goes out the window and the cheating etc. comes in. I've seen it so many times and experienced it so many times I don't have doubt about it.  Humans are mostly fucked up and can't manage real intimacy. That's my take.

So yeah you'll be doing great if you get to know yourself a little. I don't see a lot of that even.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander] * 2
    #24936449 -

We have cultural expectations.  That's a big fault.  The emotional expectation that someone else must respect our feelings and whichever needs or vulnerabilities.  It's not wrong to do that but it's not enlightened either.

Most of human's advances were to protect you from reality.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Morel Guy]
    #24936661 -

Agree.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander]
    #24936798 -

the respect comes and goes, then you have to fight for it and it comes back, and that's just marriage.


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: redgreenvines]
    #24936819 -

Quote:

also you get a pet human to abuse to your delight if so inclined.
I slept on the couch last night to escape the wrath of Cutie Pie (aries).



How was it on the couch the other night?:haha: You seem to have it down.


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

Edited by Icelander (01/23/18 05:31 PM)

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: Icelander] * 3
    #24937741 -

We read responsively the Emerald Tablet of Hermes Trismegistus for cosmic wedding vows on 11/11/11. We've been together since 1996. There has been no infidelity. I could not say this about my ex-witch, er, ex-wife, but I'm confident that it is so.



--------------------
γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself

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Re: Marriage vows and other tales. [Re: MarkostheGnostic]
    #24938361 -

the couch was spectacular, but I only got to enjoy it for 2 nights running. I highly recommend sleeping in a different position/place, the sensorium change works wonders.
lots to notice.


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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