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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion] * 1
    #23895999 -

Great post.

That's more or less what I meant.

I just moved to a new city fairly recently and I met almost everyone I know through plugging into the yoga community here - teaching & practicing.

:bunnypeace:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23896316 -

In the city I moved to last year I pretty much wasn't able to meet anyone I jived with for months until I started to go to the community dances and yoga gatherings as well.. then suddenly there were dozens of amazing people everywhere :awesome:


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¿Check out some art m8?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23896322 -

rogue_pixie said:
How do you deal with it?

It's a feeling that has plagued me for most of my life. However, I thought that by the time I hit 30 I would be married with children by now, but I am very much single. I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength. I'm about to officially graduate with a master's degree and I'm doing a PhD in psycholinguistics. So from the outside, my life looks as though it is 'going well', but in actual fact, it feels completely and utterly pointless because I am so lonely and isolated.

Don't get me wrong, I love my own company, and doing things by myself, but doing that for the REST of my life is not something that I want to do. I am getting so tired of 'me' time. Life is infinitely better when it's shared with someone else/others. I am starting to lose the drive to do anything. I feel like a total outsider and it's cripplingly lonely.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position re loneliness and the inability to meet people? It certainly seems to get more difficult with age.


go to a bar


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Re: Loneliness [Re: trvptamine] * 2
    #23910719 -

Try internet dating they said. It'd be a good thing they said...WORST.DATE.EVER.:lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23910724 -

oh no:sad:?

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Re: Loneliness [Re: weirdguy32]
    #23910771 -

He was just nothing like he came across online at all. We got on really well over instant messages, and he came across as really funny, talkative, bubbly and friendly. However, he was nothing like that in person. I understand that he was probably a bit nervous, but the weird thing was that he said he'd had about 3 pints before we met up. So I was expecting him to be quite upbeat and jolly by the time we met me. It was just nothing like our online communication.

He also said that he was 5'9 in his profile. I've got nothing against short guys, and a man being my height or shorter than me wouldn't put me off seeing him if we got on well but it's the fact that he lied about his height. So when he showed up and he was the same height as me it shocked me at first. But mostly, I got the sense that he was disappointed that I wasn't shorter because he said he liked short women prior to us meeting up, but he'd asked me how tall I was just before we met up and when I said 5'6 he seemed surprised and said that I had a 'a short person's face', which I found  a bit offensive but he said it was a compliment. I think just as soon as he saw me the height was an issue for HIM, so he just couldn't be arsed to make an effort after that, and that is probably why his personality seemed so different. He really looked like he didn't want to be there at all.

He's French and I didn't like it when he started being rude about English culture, saying that people in the city I live in drink to excess too much, and saying that English women wear too much makeup. He seemed a bit arrogant.

So yeah, not the best :lol: I was so hopeful about that date :frown: I don't think you can tell a DAMN THING about people over the internet. People are just totally fucking different in real life.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


Edited by rogue_pixie (12/09/16 06:28 PM)

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23910782 -

:frenchie:

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Re: Loneliness [Re: weirdguy32]
    #23910832 -

:lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23911238 -

yogabunny said:
Great post.


I do that..

Quote:
That's more or less what I meant.


What specifically?

Quote:
I just moved to a new city fairly recently and I met almost everyone I know through plugging into the yoga community here - teaching & practicing.

:bunnypeace:


Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.

In before genius is recognized

trvptamine said:go to a bar


Its an option but, I do not think it is a either or. There is an abundance of ways to crack an egg.

Quote:
rogue_pixie said:
He was just nothing like he came across online at all. We got on really well over instant messages, and he came across as really funny, talkative, bubbly and friendly. However, he was nothing like that in person. I understand that he was probably a bit nervous, but the weird thing was that he said he'd had about 3 pints before we met up. So I was expecting him to be quite upbeat and jolly by the time we met me. It was just nothing like our online communication.


Were you shy or uncomfortable? I ask cause, a lot of times, people are mirroring each other unconsciously. I adopt the philosophy to just lead, put best foot forward, and let a woman follow or fall into the abyss. In either event, it is a personal journey, and you see who you intersect with.

Quote:
He also said that he was 5'9 in his profile. I've got nothing against short guys, and a man being my height or shorter than me wouldn't put me off seeing him if we got on well but it's the fact that he lied about his height. So when he showed up and he was the same height as me it shocked me at first. But mostly, I got the sense that he was disappointed that I wasn't shorter because he said he liked short women prior to us meeting up, but he'd asked me how tall I was just before we met up and when I said 5'6 he seemed surprised and said that I had a 'a short person's face', which I found  a bit offensive but he said it was a compliment. I think just as soon as he saw me the height was an issue for HIM, so he just couldn't be arsed to make an effort after that, and that is probably why his personality seemed so different. He really looked like he didn't want to be there at all.


I understand that. Then again, I have had buddies who tell me the story of meeting women several hundreds of pounds heavier than the photo posted as though, it was a pic from the 90s lol

It sounds really petty on both sides. If you both got on so well, it likely was first date jitters. I think people are fast to just bounce out and keep cycling. Its like riding a bike around the block or on a track. You keep finding yourself in the same predicament and place even if with different people.

Quote:
He's French and I didn't like it when he started being rude about English culture, saying that people in the city I live in drink to excess too much, and saying that English women wear too much makeup. He seemed a bit arrogant.


Typically, topics like race, culture, politics, religion, feminism, and essentially anything high risk is likely best left out of convo especially on first dates.

Quote:
So yeah, not the best :lol: I was so hopeful about that date :frown: I don't think you can tell a DAMN THING about people over the internet. People are just totally fucking different in real life.


What I am picking up on in all do respect is that, your expectations were not met and likely, they were too high. A real relationship encompasses a variety of different things. Actual 'love' is not like the movies or neediness on tv, clinging, two people running at one another on a beach, and the credits rolling. It is a shit ton of hard work.

The way I hear a lot of women talk about men, their husbands or boyfriends, it is not shocking why many dudes are just not into it. You aren't like that. Remain open. Be vulnerable. Keep it real with respect to what you want.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.

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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23912496 -

Quote:
Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.




Nope. Happily in partnership.

The guy to girl ratio in yoga classes IS ridiculous, as the physical practice of yoga (Asana) was actually specifically developed for male monks.


--------------------

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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23912531 -

My expectations were not too high. I actually tried to make the most of the date, even though he was the one who was not into me because he was intimidated by my height. He kept looking around the room, and at other women walking past. All I said is that his height initially shocked me because he had lied about it on his profile. I moved past that but he didn't seem to be able to.

I also know that it's his view that there is either a 'spark' or no spark. He said before we met up that with his last dates within the first few seconds of meeting them, he just knew that it wasn't going to work and I know he got that same feeling with me.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912566 -

Yeah that is like the equivalent of telling a woman "you look alot older than *age in profile*"

There's alot out there like that sadly, then when you do even meet someone you click with it's far from uncommon to hit a wall and have things not work out, and once in a while a spark will blow right up in your face. 

That's why I think it is important to just be nice, not have grand expectations, and have fun.  Keep at it if you get lonely, you need to socialize or the awkwardness will start to feel normal, and then there is no going back.

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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23912587 -

I remind myself of how shitty the dating scene is, getting dates no problem. Clicking with someone big problem. I'm sure many users on here have experienced similar. The general public doesn't carry much of the same views this website is founded off of. I also live in an area with a lot of money and majority of the women out here are beautiful. But imagine your typical Beverly hills gold digger. Tried the online thing but there just seems to be a ton of "cat fishing". If someones a little thicker be honest, you'll get a better response than hiding your weight with camera angles. Although I did meet one chick who i still talk to. Real conversation too its pretty nice. Anything from medical discoveries to theology/spirituality, even takes an interest in psychedelics but is afraid of them.


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FREE BURKE

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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23912665 -

Nah. I'm done with internet dating. It's really not for me. It seems awkward and forced, and all the best ones are clearly either gay or taken :lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912725 -

Or 3000 miles away, right? :grin:

Yeah I hate to say it, but sometimes I will meet a girl that I like, and I will just assume she has a boyfriend without even asking.  I'm like, "there's no way nobody snatched her up, I won't even bother."  It's just so hard to ask that in a casual manner, especially if you don't really know them, but if online dating isn't happening it's pretty much the only way.

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912730 -

Hope you all find what your looking for in life

And I sincerely do


--------------------
I HUNT MAGIC MUSHROOMS AND MAKE MIND BLOWING TEA,
I BUY ROOT BARK OFF THE INTERNET AND EXTRACT DMT,
SMOKE MY FRIENDS CHANGA IT TASTES BETTER FOR FREE
TRIPPING IS WONDERFUL IT HELPS ME FIND PEACE,
SO WILL YOU COME ALONG TO MY NEXT EUPHORIC FEAST.

I LOVE MUSHROOMS THEY MUSH UP THE ROOM THERE AINT MUCH ROOM IN HERE
SPECIAL GREEN TEA MADE FROM A CACTUS TREE SETS YOUR MIND AND SPIRIT FREE

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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23912851 -

moonrockmushy said:
Or 3000 miles away, right? :grin:


Exactly :laugh:

Quote:
moonrockmushy said:Yeah I hate to say it, but sometimes I will meet a girl that I like, and I will just assume she has a boyfriend without even asking.  I'm like, "there's no way nobody snatched her up, I won't even bother."  It's just so hard to ask that in a casual manner, especially if you don't really know them, but if online dating isn't happening it's pretty much the only way.


I agree with this. It seems impossible to meet anyone in the real world cos everyone's so shy or using online dating. Looks like I'm destined to be alone though, cos I really can't be bothered with the online crap. Too much disappointment and wasted time


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: BasilBush]
    #23912854 -

thank you :sun:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23913089 -

yogabunny said:
Quote:
Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.




Nope. Happily in partnership.

The guy to girl ratio in yoga classes IS ridiculous, as the physical practice of yoga (Asana) was actually specifically developed for male monks.


Lady yogi's so strong, full of energy and brightness too :awesome:


--------------------
¿Check out some art m8?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23913142 -

I've been doing P90X yoga for two years, it's surprisingly good. I'll try taking a class but I have a feeling all the women there will be over 50. I live near Lake Havasu, AZ. :lol:

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