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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
Loneliness
    #23884940 - 12/01/16 03:48 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

How do you deal with it?

It's a feeling that has plagued me for most of my life. However, I thought that by the time I hit 30 I would be married with children by now, but I am very much single. I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength. I'm about to officially graduate with a master's degree and I'm doing a PhD in psycholinguistics. So from the outside, my life looks as though it is 'going well', but in actual fact, it feels completely and utterly pointless because I am so lonely and isolated.

Don't get me wrong, I love my own company, and doing things by myself, but doing that for the REST of my life is not something that I want to do. I am getting so tired of 'me' time. Life is infinitely better when it's shared with someone else/others. I am starting to lose the drive to do anything. I feel like a total outsider and it's cripplingly lonely.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position re loneliness and the inability to meet people? It certainly seems to get more difficult with age.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinerider420
Ghost in the machine
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Registered: 02/11/16
Posts: 659
Last seen: 4 months, 7 days
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23884984 - 12/01/16 03:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Try a dating web site. The worst thing that will happen is your murder lol good luck.


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 2
    #23884991 - 12/01/16 04:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

raise your children in psycholinguistics, that'll be fun.


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Invisibleruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
. [Re: akira_akuma]
    #23885009 - 12/01/16 04:05 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

.


Edited by ruaware (12/06/16 02:36 AM)


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Offlineakira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Loneliness [Re: ruaware] * 1
    #23885013 - 12/01/16 04:05 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:ilold:


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OfflineUniversaleyeni
Friend
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Registered: 04/18/13
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 5
    #23885066 - 12/01/16 04:20 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You just haven't met anyone as cool as you yet!

You will, and the contrast to the lonelier times will be the radiance of the glow

:psychsplit:


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InvisibleAroundtheSon
Learning to See
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885135 - 12/01/16 04:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Grass is always greener. There are sometimes I wish I had no one....and times when I have been lonely and wished for anyone.

Just try to find peace in what you have, and make attempts to change your plight when you see it's appropriate.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 1
    #23885215 - 12/01/16 05:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Join a sports team, start a kiss coverband, start going to the mosque every monday or whatever they do.


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
Re: Loneliness [Re: Universaleyeni]
    #23885228 - 12/01/16 05:18 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Universaleyeni said:
You just haven't met anyone as cool as you yet!

You will, and the contrast to the lonelier times will be the radiance of the glow

:psychsplit:




I love this :heart: Thank you. It gives me hope.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinesearching
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Registered: 06/08/11
Posts: 4,128
Last seen: 5 months, 5 days
Re: Loneliness [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #23885251 - 12/01/16 05:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You need to get on tinder or some other dating site. Some of my friends are on there and they have new dates like every week. One of them met a girl and they are still together now for like 2 years. If I was single I would definitely get on tinder. It's so easy to meet women now.


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
Re: Loneliness [Re: searching]
    #23885265 - 12/01/16 05:32 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

searching said:
You need to get on tinder or some other dating site. Some of my friends are on there and they have new dates like every week. One of them met a girl and they are still together now for like 2 years. If I was single I would definitely get on tinder. It's so easy to meet women now.




I've tried countless dating websites and Tinder, and had MANY dates, and ended up being used and abused, or in dangerous situations...Online dating is much more dangerous for women. I've heard a lot of people (including women) having success with online dating though and even Tinder, but I seem to be very unlucky with it and it's just not worth the psychological and physical risk that comes with it. I'm like a magnet for players and psychopaths.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
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Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885295 - 12/01/16 05:39 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Quote:

searching said:
You need to get on tinder or some other dating site. Some of my friends are on there and they have new dates like every week. One of them met a girl and they are still together now for like 2 years. If I was single I would definitely get on tinder. It's so easy to meet women now.




I've tried countless dating websites and Tinder, and had MANY dates, and ended up being used and abused, or in dangerous situations...Online dating is much more dangerous for women. I've heard a lot of people (including women) having success with online dating though and even Tinder, but I seem to be very unlucky with it and it's just not worth the psychological and physical risk that comes with it. I'm like a magnet for players and psychopaths.



Learn to use a gun then carry said gun. You will feel much safer :thumbup:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Invisiblerackem
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Registered: 11/27/09
Posts: 14,024
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885300 - 12/01/16 05:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

a ton of people say online dating is the way to go.. it sure seems like the easiest way to "put yourself out there" but i would have to disagree.

rp, you will be ok.. go do something you enjoy outside of your comfort zone. big world of cool people that aren't psycopaths out there.


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Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
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Registered: 08/11/02
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885305 - 12/01/16 05:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i have no advice, but i can relate. i've pretty much given up though.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


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Invisiblemt cleverest
clevendafodil

Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 2,348
Re: Loneliness [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #23885326 - 12/01/16 05:54 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

There are plenty of other loners like yourself on okcupid. You just have to market yourself correctly. Don't put any sexy pics up and be sure to go on and on about your most boring and nerdy interests on your profile.
This is how me and my girl met. we are very boring, antisocial people and it works great (sometimes I wish I was completely alone but like aroundthesun said, the grass is always greener. ultimately I'm probably as happy as anyone else).
if you want to put off the partner search indefinitely, just get a dog. dogs exist to combat human loneliness.


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InvisibleAroundtheSon
Learning to See
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest]
    #23885348 - 12/01/16 06:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have had the same girl for the last 5. I am anything but lonely, but being alone is a nice feeling too. Just saying...


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest]
    #23885350 - 12/01/16 06:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

mt cleverest said:
There are plenty of other loners like yourself on okcupid. You just have to market yourself correctly. Don't put any sexy pics up and be sure to go on and on about your most boring and nerdy interests on your profile.
This is how me and my girl met. we are very boring, antisocial people and it works great (sometimes I wish I was completely alone but like aroundthesun said, the grass is always greener. ultimately I'm probably as happy as anyone else).
if you want to put off the partner search indefinitely, just get a dog. dogs exist to combat human loneliness.




Really re not putting any sexy pics up?!?! I'd never considered that! I thought the aim was to put up your most enticing, sexiest photographs, but I actually think you might be onto something...That way hopefully it weeds out the perverts and creeps. Maybe I will give that a try...


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
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Registered: 08/15/11
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885369 - 12/01/16 06:14 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

What are you into?.....Go to places that involve that :shrug:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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InvisibleAroundtheSon
Learning to See
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
Re: Loneliness [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #23885374 - 12/01/16 06:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You nailed it. I have always had dogs, and will as long as I am able. Truly man's best friend. Never lonely with a good pup.


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OfflineMorgenstern
WHAT!

Registered: 06/07/09
Posts: 6,450
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23885456 - 12/01/16 06:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Or we can start here. :pm: :smirk:


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Admins can't read graphs.



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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Morgenstern]
    #23885500 - 12/01/16 07:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Morgenstern said:
Or we can start here. :pm: :smirk:




A/S/L? :P


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Posts: 19,067
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 7
    #23885565 - 12/01/16 07:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'm not sure how I deal with loneliness.  Drinking I guess.  My entire 20s was spent hooked on opiates and that really did a great job masking my insecurities and desire for companionship, so much that I begin to think I'm perfectly ok without these things, but whenever I am sober for even a little bit of time I am quickly reminded that loneliness is a pretty significant factor for heading in that direction in the first place.

For me the things that keep me sane right now are my family, music, the shroomery, and my job.  I have a couple good people in my life, I'm making positive steps, and I enjoy what I do every day.  I'm happier than I've ever been.  I don't even have a problem attracting people or making friends, but letting people get close and maintaining lasting relationships seems impossible for some reason.  It's like a reflex to go inside my head when I start freaking out and put up an invisible wall.

Even right now I want to be like "Oh I'm not ready for a relationship I need to work on myself more," but I'm pretty sure that is a lie, I'm just scared.


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InvisibleMollyLucyMaryJane

Registered: 09/10/11
Posts: 1,302
Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23885567 - 12/01/16 07:23 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Check this out op



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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: MollyLucyMaryJane]
    #23885575 - 12/01/16 07:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)



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OfflineMrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23886016 - 12/01/16 09:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)



--------------------
Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. 
EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION


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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23886027 - 12/01/16 10:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I don't find myself lonely often - or not the type that can't be solved by calling a friend, or, simply going through long walks in my city that's a cure all for almost anything for me.

When I do then I think volunteering, getting a new hobby, and just trying to put yourself out there in different circles of people and break whatever cycle your in is best. A dating site might work for you too, for me it's really great are making me not want to go on dates pretty fast.


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Loneliness [Re: pirate-blues]
    #23886135 - 12/01/16 10:42 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

It was fate that I am with who I am with today. I believe love will find you as long and you keep doing what you love and not worryimg about it so much :shroomeryhead:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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InvisibleLSDollar
Trans-female

Registered: 02/09/15
Posts: 2,361
Loc: Up Up and Away Flag
Re: Loneliness [Re: spirit_shadow]
    #23886153 - 12/01/16 10:48 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I am 23. I feel like I am in very similar boat. I can count how many friends I actually have on one hand. But they are damn good friends. Three of them I have known for 10 years. There has been many people that came and went in my life, and thats just it, its life.


To top it off, this week I got rid of Facebook, and don't have any social media accounts. I messaged said friends with my numb in case they didn't have it saved, and let them know how to get ahold of me.

There is a few people that I would consider "friends" but they know where and when I work, they can always come talk to me. Always had social anxiety and it takes awhile for me to open up to someone. Had a couple GFS but never worked out yet for me.

I wouldn't say its loneliness, more that I am content on where I am at in my life at the moment. I remember 5 years ago I didn't have a phone for a year or two, but people who wanted to stay in contact, did so. Since then I have moved, met new people, and happen to run into some of the said people that have came and went in my life.


Edited by LSDollar (12/01/16 10:50 PM)


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InvisibleNiffla
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Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: Loneliness [Re: Repertoire89] * 1
    #23886285 - 12/01/16 11:47 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Join a sports team




I tried joining the Dallas Cowboys as a quarterback because of the fame and the bitches and the money but they didn't want me

:unwanted:

they said something about me having to know how to throw a football or some bullshit

fuck them, their loss


--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Registered: 07/01/05
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Re: Loneliness [Re: pirate-blues] * 1
    #23886546 - 12/02/16 04:01 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

pirate-blues said:
... A dating site might work for you too, for me it's really great are making me not want to go on dates pretty fast.




Yeah it's a great way of making me feel like a fucking loon.  I can count on one hand the number of times I have found someone with a profile I find enticing, and they were always unreachable or so skittish and flaky it ended up being an exercise in futility.  I end up settling for whoever will see me, and go on dates that make me think I must not be cut out for dating.

Kind of like how facebook is great at making me think I hate everyone I know.  Not for me.


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23886591 - 12/02/16 05:03 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah... I've had nothing but bad experiences on dating websites. I've been used many times, when a casual hookup is the last thing that I want. The trouble is guys never seem to be upfront about the fact that they only want sex, and pretend that they're interested in a relationship with you until they get what they want. That's not only hurtful, but it's such a waste of my time. The problem is I'm very open-minded, and always kept telling myself not to keep dismissing people or online dating because others have had success with it and there will be someone decent out there but it happens to me every time. I think one of my flaws is that I always look for the best in everyone, so in actual fact I'm not a very good judge of character at all.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Invisiblerogue_pixie
faerydae
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Registered: 07/28/04
Posts: 3,977
Loc: UK
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23886596 - 12/02/16 05:05 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

To the people posting videos (I presume)...all I am seeing is a blank box :confused:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinewatermelon mon
Willow Trees

Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 7,800
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23886858 - 12/02/16 08:28 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

know how you guys feel being alone isn't so bad though

I am 23 only had one girlfriend before not sure why

like to mind my own bussinuss and give people their space

do better being friends with animals

I would like to find somebody one day feels like it's not worth the problems that someone may cause for me

Some people seem real friendly at first

It's hard becuse so any people don't know what honesty loyalty and respect is they don't give a fuck


--------------------
    :dazedandconfused:


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Invisiblemt cleverest
clevendafodil

Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 2,348
Re: Loneliness [Re: watermelon mon]
    #23886946 - 12/02/16 09:15 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

For real. That's why you gotta join a church singles group and find a devout christian girl. everyone's an asshole (alan watts calls it the element of irreducible rascality) but those that believe in god as judge will keep that rascality in check more. even if you're an atheist, it's worth it to convert to get a good wife. also try to get yourself a cancer, cancers tend to be loyal.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest]
    #23886951 - 12/02/16 09:16 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Get a male siamese cat, preferably a flame point.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
Enlil's Official Story
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
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Re: Loneliness [Re: watermelon mon]
    #23886956 - 12/02/16 09:18 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

watermelon mon said:
know how you guys feel being alone isn't so bad though

I am 23 only had one girlfriend before not sure why

like to mind my own bussinuss and give people their space

do better being friends with animals

I would like to find somebody one day feels like it's not worth the problems that someone may cause for me

Some people seem real friendly at first

It's hard becuse so any people don't know what honesty loyalty and respect is they don't give a fuck




It's the me me me generation.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Offlinefinalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23886986 - 12/02/16 09:30 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
How do you deal with it?

It's a feeling that has plagued me for most of my life. However, I thought that by the time I hit 30 I would be married with children by now, but I am very much single. I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength. I'm about to officially graduate with a master's degree and I'm doing a PhD in psycholinguistics. So from the outside, my life looks as though it is 'going well', but in actual fact, it feels completely and utterly pointless because I am so lonely and isolated.

Don't get me wrong, I love my own company, and doing things by myself, but doing that for the REST of my life is not something that I want to do. I am getting so tired of 'me' time. Life is infinitely better when it's shared with someone else/others. I am starting to lose the drive to do anything. I feel like a total outsider and it's cripplingly lonely.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position re loneliness and the inability to meet people? It certainly seems to get more difficult with age.




As it been said in another forum thread, I think there is a lot of things in society that are manipulative, that are crippling, and self defeating.

The education bubble is pushed on women; 4:1 women to men. There is this huge push to have a career again to push that education bubble. Have a career "don't need a man" rhetoric and in all honesty, the truth is that, many women would be happier being a stay at home mom. There is nothing wrong with that but, again, thinking freely, picking your fate and or destiny is ideal.


Op, 30 is still young. You got time though, urgency is important. My advice is to begin moving toward what truly resonates. Date men that are good for you not on a hollow construct like attraction but does not have a job.

Advice: Say hello to every male you could see as a potential suitor. Give the online dating a shot. Again, be particular. Be precise.

If it is not illustrated in some of what I write, it pisses me off the horse shit that women are fed, wait to have a family, slut it up, its the cool thing. Spend youth as a booty call. "Don't need a man" narrative. It is so fucking toxic.

We run on different tracks in life. Men and women have different strengths and weaknesses. In the right relationship, we compliment each other precisely, and others, not so much.




OP, put out genuine interest, let a man know, you are not playing, I want a family, I want kids, I want to get married. Some will run. I know I would but, it is a great way to get a good man. Bring truth, honesty, and virtue. Good luck. Please tell me how it goes :laugh:


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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Offlinefinalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23887019 - 12/02/16 09:49 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

watermelon mon said:
know how you guys feel being alone isn't so bad though

I am 23 only had one girlfriend before not sure why

like to mind my own bussinuss and give people their space

do better being friends with animals

I would like to find somebody one day feels like it's not worth the problems that someone may cause for me

Some people seem real friendly at first

It's hard becuse so any people don't know what honesty loyalty and respect is they don't give a fuck




What would you do with your life if you never got married, had a gf or life partner, no kids?

Make the decision you will have all those things NOW! Act on taking action for the life you want right now without that person. I love to travel. I want to explore my consciousness. I want to see the world. On that endeavor, I chat with random strangers, it leads to dates and hooking up. No wife or gf. Just fun for now.

Connect. Be truly vulnerable. Life is way the fuck to boring not to try.


Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Yeah... I've had nothing but bad experiences on dating websites. I've been used many times, when a casual hookup is the last thing that I want. The trouble is guys never seem to be upfront about the fact that they only want sex, and pretend that they're interested in a relationship with you until they get what they want. That's not only hurtful, but it's such a waste of my time. The problem is I'm very open-minded, and always kept telling myself not to keep dismissing people or online dating because others have had success with it and there will be someone decent out there but it happens to me every time. I think one of my flaws is that I always look for the best in everyone, so in actual fact I'm not a very good judge of character at all.




Its a certain subset of man the same way, a certain subset of girls act or are a certain way. I have met a series of crazy but attractive girls over the years. If you have those experience, you see the kind of person that can really fuck your life up, it can give a person a unrealistic perspective of "everyone." Its not that way.

You seem sad. Do yourself a favor. Download Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. He discusses male and female, the polarity, and even emphasizes on homosexual relationships noting the polarity. I think it can help. You may see what you are triggered by, what resonates, and what you like.

Stay open. Stay vulnerable. Be free. You will get married, have a family, and children. In a alternative universe, if you did not, what would you do with your life?

Start here. Begin by living that life. In the process, you will bring that person along. You will find yourself on that life track. You will gravitate more people that are like minded. Break up your routine. I suggest starting a gym membership. High volume of men. Tons of opportunities. You want to break out of redundancy and shitty cycles. There is nothing wrong with what you did or do. If you want change, you must start on a new path.

Miss, its the journey. Not the destination. You want love. Give love. Start by looking in the mirror with yourself. Start the day by telling yourself, "today's the day I meet my future husband." Start saying hi to a perfect stranger. Express your femininity. Express the love and care you want to give to a man, to your future husband, and children. Live like you already have these things now and it will manifest.

Meditate. Checkout the Calm app. Its a great start. Maybe do some yoga. Break up the cycle. I am excited for you and the journey you are on. Do not give up. Avoid cynicism.


As a man, I can only look through the lens as such, and its strange. As a young boy, people in the dating world are closed off; the hungry don't get fed. In teens, start dating a bit, one gf. Hit 20s, start traveling, seeing the world, and dating lots. Mid 20s, it is ridiculous. late 20s, its epic. Something I notice to with age is that, women that were guarded, closed off or into "bad boys" come around. My ego kicks off. When young, thin, and attractive, hard up. Now wants to play house? A girl I had some history with drunk dialed me. Like you, she wants something more  serious. It just never happened in the past and I am no longer interested so, I choose not to waste her time. Most men would do it for sport. I wont lie. Trust in yourself. Not on impulse but your heart.

Timing is a bitch. Does a man introduce you to his family? His friends or are you kept a little secret?


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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Offlinedo it
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23887164 - 12/02/16 10:35 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
How do you deal with it?

It's a feeling that has plagued me for most of my life. However, I thought that by the time I hit 30 I would be married with children by now, but I am very much single. I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength. I'm about to officially graduate with a master's degree and I'm doing a PhD in psycholinguistics. So from the outside, my life looks as though it is 'going well', but in actual fact, it feels completely and utterly pointless because I am so lonely and isolated.

Don't get me wrong, I love my own company, and doing things by myself, but doing that for the REST of my life is not something that I want to do. I am getting so tired of 'me' time. Life is infinitely better when it's shared with someone else/others. I am starting to lose the drive to do anything. I feel like a total outsider and it's cripplingly lonely.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position re loneliness and the inability to meet people? It certainly seems to get more difficult with age.




I can relate to this situation, not as a female though, so I can't say I know exactly how you feel. I do have a couple of somewhat close friends, but they don't live in the same area so my daily contact with most people is somewhat superficial.

For me this feeling of loneliness comes and goes, sometimes it's almost crippling, other times I don't care. But nonetheless it does come back every now and then. When it does, I most often try to remind myself of the fact that I'm happier alone than in a bad relationship. Just thinking about how I've been dishonest to myself in the past about some relationship or looking at couples arguing and getting angry at each other confirms this for me. This way about it is kind of sad, I know, but that's just me coping. If everything gets real bad I get as stoned as I can and that distances me from my feelings to some degree, this sounds even worse but I have depressive traits/mental illness running in the family so my bad moods can get quite awful when they get rolling... So I don't see escaping with drugs as an unthinkable solution, I just try to avoid the really bad ones.

I do find that what really works for the feeling of loneliness is getting into new situations with people. This can be easier said than done, you just have to find some kind of new activity you'd like to try. People here recommended gyms or other exercise and I second that. I haven't met any significant other in doing such but new people anyway. And keeping fit helps with confidence and keeping ones chin up, thus helping attract people.

When I feel lost and down, I have found that the stuff Eckhart Tolle speaks about helps me accept my situation. That and what comedians like Louis C.K. & George Carlin say about life helps me along.

ps. that thing about presenting all your nerdy sides in online dating is probably a really good idea to avoid creeps, make sure the text you write is long, just to narrow down the potential suitors even more.


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InvisibleLobsterSauceDiscord
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Re: Loneliness [Re: do it]
    #23887171 - 12/02/16 10:38 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

MY LONELINESS.......IS KILLING ME......AAAAAAAAND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 4
    #23887190 - 12/02/16 10:47 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Hello RP,

Dashing young cavalry officer here.

While I do not understand loneliness, you may find me pertinent to your interests.

If you find my amorous processions to be palatable, please do send a letter - my stable boy will deliver it to me.

Until then, adieu my lady.

Signed,
Otan Craiovești of Wallachia

P.S.

For your keepsake...



--------------------
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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23887261 - 12/02/16 11:24 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

twighead said:
Hello RP,

Dashing young cavalry officer here.

While I do not understand loneliness, you may find me pertinent to your interests.

If you find my amorous processions to be palatable, please do send a letter - my stable boy will deliver it to me.

Until then, adieu my lady.

Signed,
Otan Craiovești of Wallachia

P.S.

For your keepsake...






hahaha I am in love already  :inlove3:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23887265 - 12/02/16 11:25 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The posts on this thread so far have been awesome. Thank you so much everyone :heart:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Niffla]
    #23887722 - 12/02/16 02:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
Join a sports team




I tried joining the Dallas Cowboys as a quarterback because of the fame and the bitches and the money but they didn't want me

:unwanted:

they said something about me having to know how to throw a football or some bullshit

fuck them, their loss




I think they were testing you, did you try wrestling them into submission?


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 2
    #23887765 - 12/02/16 02:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Yeah... I've had nothing but bad experiences on dating websites. I've been used many times, when a casual hookup is the last thing that I want. The trouble is guys never seem to be upfront about the fact that they only want sex, and pretend that they're interested in a relationship with you until they get what they want. That's not only hurtful, but it's such a waste of my time. The problem is I'm very open-minded, and always kept telling myself not to keep dismissing people or online dating because others have had success with it and there will be someone decent out there but it happens to me every time. I think one of my flaws is that I always look for the best in everyone, so in actual fact I'm not a very good judge of character at all.




Yeah men suck, which is why I can't really blame women for being fickle and weird.  I can say for sure I'm not going to want to have sex with someone until there is some level of mutual comfort, and I wouldn't want to hurt someone who was special enough to get that close to me.  I can also say you won't find me on any dating sites :lol:

It's probably me just being a sap, but I feel like if a relationship doesn't happen in a serendipitous manner it isn't really real.  The whole act of blatantly marketing myself and shopping for partners just feels like it is asking for a miserable relationship.  Maybe I could play the numbers game and try to plow through second rate people in order to hopefully find one I really like, but by the time I get to them I feel like I will have been tainted by all the heathens and my view on love compromised. 

One thing I know, I will survive.


(Gloria Gaynor - I will survive)

I think you seeing black boxes is a problem on your end, I saw them all.  They were songs about loneliness tho.


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Invisiblemt cleverest
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23887842 - 12/02/16 02:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
It's probably me just being a sap, but I feel like if a relationship doesn't happen in a serendipitous manner it isn't really real.  The whole act of blatantly marketing myself and shopping for partners just feels like it is asking for a miserable relationship.




Not real? You're not real bro.
Why can't meetings online be serendipitous too?  All dating is just blatant marketing and shopping for partners, online or offline. just cus it hasnt worked for you doesnt mean you have to shit on it and call the millions of relationships started online not real. I'm offended!


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest]
    #23887863 - 12/02/16 02:41 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah well that is why I stopped dating.  The worst part is when I do meet someone I really like I usually fuck it up somehow. 

You're are a phony and a hack though, no offence.  You said people should seek out christian women and take advantage of their superior morals.  That to me is both naive about the way people are and how the world works, and lacking in integrity. 

Still offended?  :meffz:


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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23887916 - 12/02/16 03:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Honestly, I should be lonely based on the number of friends I have, but I don't really feel that way... usually I'm pretty content. I figure that's because I've actually made quite a lot of friends over my life, I just kinda 'choose' not to hang with them any more. It's weird but yeah, I feel pretty good about it. Personally I think it's fine to be kind of a loner.. I mean in this modern world, who can blame you for being an autonomous unit?


--------------------
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Invisiblemt cleverest
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23887943 - 12/02/16 03:11 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Nooooo, you said no offense.  :hug:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: g00ru]
    #23887946 - 12/02/16 03:12 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'm a shithead when I'm alone is the problem.  People keep me grounded.  I've learned this doesn't need to be a girlfriend tho.  For all the emphasis people put on sex it never really made my life better in the long run.  It's just another addiction.


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23888515 - 12/02/16 06:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Yeah... I've had nothing but bad experiences on dating websites. I've been used many times, when a casual hookup is the last thing that I want. The trouble is guys never seem to be upfront about the fact that they only want sex, and pretend that they're interested in a relationship with you until they get what they want. That's not only hurtful, but it's such a waste of my time. The problem is I'm very open-minded, and always kept telling myself not to keep dismissing people or online dating because others have had success with it and there will be someone decent out there but it happens to me every time. I think one of my flaws is that I always look for the best in everyone, so in actual fact I'm not a very good judge of character at all.




Yeah men suck, which is why I can't really blame women for being fickle and weird.  I can say for sure I'm not going to want to have sex with someone until there is some level of mutual comfort, and I wouldn't want to hurt someone who was special enough to get that close to me.  I can also say you won't find me on any dating sites :lol:

It's probably me just being a sap, but I feel like if a relationship doesn't happen in a serendipitous manner it isn't really real.  The whole act of blatantly marketing myself and shopping for partners just feels like it is asking for a miserable relationship.  Maybe I could play the numbers game and try to plow through second rate people in order to hopefully find one I really like, but by the time I get to them I feel like I will have been tainted by all the heathens and my view on love compromised. 

One thing I know, I will survive.


(Gloria Gaynor - I will survive)

I think you seeing black boxes is a problem on your end, I saw them all.  They were songs about loneliness tho.




That's how I feel about online dating. Each party knows what the other person is there for, which takes away the mystery and the romance - there is no build up to the relationship as it were, you are just kind of forced into this weird dynamic using an unnatural medium. Maybe it works for certain types of individual though...But yeah, it has made me quite jaded and cynical, at least with regard to online dating because of all of my bad experiences.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23888520 - 12/02/16 06:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

But yeah...back to loneliness. It's 1.41am here and I'm on a forum alone on a Friday night :yolo: :lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlineakira_akuma
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23888536 - 12/02/16 06:48 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

just play black metal and watch conspiracy videos, this is how you learn the ways of the world.


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Offlinewatermelon mon
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Re: Loneliness [Re: akira_akuma]
    #23888586 - 12/02/16 07:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I just want to ride my bicycle around in the sunshine with some snacks

Someone asked me for some drugs one time I smiled at them

Told them to go for a walk in the sunshine

: )


--------------------
    :dazedandconfused:


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Offlinespirit_shadow
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23888841 - 12/02/16 08:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
But yeah...back to loneliness. It's 1.41am here and I'm on a forum alone on a Friday night :yolo: :lol:



So? Solitude can reconnect the spirit. Once you master yourself and become more aware of your surroundings the better the success rate of your endeavors :hippie:


--------------------
ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23888884 - 12/02/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:

It's probably me just being a sap, but I feel like if a relationship doesn't happen in a serendipitous manner it isn't really real.




It seems so common now a days but, it is riddle with a lot of madness. At a certain point, being in the bar or club just gets annoying. I am not saying I wont do it. I do. I just see a lack of value in it. I think the manner in it happening and the actual timing being right for both people is all the more rare. With online, its kind of a shit show cause, people are swiping or window shopping. Nobody wants to bring up "what does this mean?" Furthermore, if someone is online, I pretty much presume its open season lol ... until proven otherwise.

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
That's how I feel about online dating. Each party knows what the other person is there for, which takes away the mystery and the romance - there is no build up to the relationship as it were, you are just kind of forced into this weird dynamic using an unnatural medium. Maybe it works for certain types of individual though...But yeah, it has made me quite jaded and cynical, at least with regard to online dating because of all of my bad experiences.




When was your last date? I haven't felt strongly in sometime but, when I did, it was two people randomly meeting, and it just sorta happened. It is usually just physical when online and given, people are so casual today, its hard to take it seriously or be that invested in any of it. I use it for networking. If the girl is cool, we do not have that much chemistry, it can be a physical relationship or we can just network through our circle. Its kind of cool that way.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23888907 - 12/02/16 08:48 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position





I am in a similar position, similar age, but I wouldn't say I am lonely, maybe I don't know I am lonely, I don't know.

I guess I am pretty numb these days, so might just be numb to human connection, most life just seems like work, eat, sleep, repeat, with no purpose and meaning besides stimulation from sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

I don't know, maybe I am missing something, but I would like to fancy myself as being rather bright, so perhaps life really is so simple, and that's all their is to it.

I moved states a few years ago, and haven't tried at all to meet anyone to be friends with, or in a relationship with, it's hard to be someone who likes to exercise, and also thinks substances are interesting, both of those things are often opposed to each other.  I worked at a place with a family member, and they tried to set things up for me, but I am stubborn meaning when people try to set me up, I can sniff it out a mile away, and don't like it because it feels like people are assuming I am some wreck of a person, which I am not, just because my jimmies don't get rustled as easily as the next man people think I must be internalizing some shit.:rolleyes:


--------------------
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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Lucis]
    #23888919 - 12/02/16 08:51 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position





I am in a similar position, similar age, but I wouldn't say I am lonely, maybe I don't know I am lonely, I don't know.

I guess I am pretty numb these days, so might just be numb to human connection, most life just seems like work, eat, sleep, repeat, with no purpose and meaning besides stimulation from sex, drugs, and rock & roll.

I don't know, maybe I am missing something, but I would like to fancy myself as being rather bright, so perhaps life really is so simple, and that's all their is to it.

I moved states a few years ago, and haven't tried at all to meet anyone to be friends with, or in a relationship with, it's hard to be someone who likes to exercise, and also thinks substances are interesting, both of those things are often opposed to each other.  I worked at a place with a family member, and they tried to set things up for me, but I am stubborn meaning when people try to set me up, I can sniff it out a mile away, and don't like it because it feels like people are assuming I am some wreck of a person, which I am not, just because my jimmies don't get rustled as easily as the next man people think I must be internalizing some shit.:rolleyes:




Methinks the lady doth protest too much.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisibletrscstghst
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Re: Loneliness [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23889695 - 12/03/16 04:54 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I can relate. I cant meet anyone like me who I like because I am everything I don't like in other people. basically I don't like myself so I cant like other people especially if I see they are like me.


--------------------
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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Lucis]
    #23890893 - 12/03/16 02:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:

I moved states a few years ago, and haven't tried at all to meet anyone to be friends with, or in a relationship with, it's hard to be someone who likes to exercise, and also thinks substances are interesting, both of those things are often opposed to each other.




You just need to put yourself out there more and explore a bit. It is definitely there.
 
Quote:

I worked at a place with a family member, and they tried to set things up for me, but I am stubborn meaning when people try to set me up, I can sniff it out a mile away, and don't like it because it feels like people are assuming I am some wreck of a person, which I am not, just because my jimmies don't get rustled as easily as the next man people think I must be internalizing some shit.:rolleyes:




I would think a forum and a place that had this sort of openness or exposure to psychedelics would lend to some unique individuals. I know lots of males that are into exploring their consciousness, have wacky experiences, interesting perspectives and world views, or into self discovery, and challenging themselves. I rarely find women on that spectrum given, male IQ is all over the map whereas, women are more stream lined. Sort of like why you see Einstein and Jack the ripper across the male spectrum and not so much in the female spectrum.

I definitely know it is out there. I have experienced it a fair bit through exploring and adventure. I am put off by the online dating attempts at portraying being some adventurer, active, into fitness, etc. when in actuality, someone is all about destroy a large pizza themselves, chewing on apples or crackers as a meal, and leave the remains in a mush on a counter-top. #gross

Online is a riot. There are some gems out there but, you definitely are sifting through slobs and some unthinkable madness. I am also scared women are posting pics from the 90s. I heard a story from a buddy once where a girl got out of the car and he thought the front end was going break.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


Edited by finalexplosion (12/03/16 02:50 PM)


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23890962 - 12/03/16 03:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I usually just end up being a troll when I try to meet online dates, which nets alot of laughs but I fugger if I'm going to be trolling I should do it somewhere where there is a public record of such things.


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

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Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest] * 1
    #23891333 - 12/03/16 05:03 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

mt cleverest said:
There are plenty of other loners like yourself on okcupid. You just have to market yourself correctly. Don't put any sexy pics up and be sure to go on and on about your most boring and nerdy interests on your profile.
This is how me and my girl met. we are very boring, antisocial people and it works great




I've been trying to find a date online for ten years, and I'm a decent guy. You won the lottery bro. :thumbup:


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Invisiblemoonrockmushy
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman]
    #23891360 - 12/03/16 05:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Jesus you must be a misfit.  It only takes me a week or two to find a date, but I always regret it.  You need to put up more sexy pics.


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891381 - 12/03/16 05:15 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I bit the bullet and joined OKCupid....Made me realise why being single ain't so bad :lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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InvisibleMiddlemanM

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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891394 - 12/03/16 05:19 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Jesus you must be a misfit.  It only takes me a week or two to find a date, but I always regret it.  You need to put up more sexy pics.




Haha maybe on the inside but I blend right in. I've just been too picky, I guess.


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891405 - 12/03/16 05:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:

I bit the bullet and joined OKCupid....Made me realise why being single ain't so bad :lol:




It really isn't so bad. It's just our culture that tells us were not enough on our own.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman] * 1
    #23891407 - 12/03/16 05:23 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Go to festivals with a lot of ketamine to share... I guarantee you'll be a very popular man :lol:


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead] * 5
    #23891423 - 12/03/16 05:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

How I feel at festivals at 40. :lol:



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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman]
    #23891443 - 12/03/16 05:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:canthelpbutlaugh:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman]
    #23891452 - 12/03/16 05:41 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Middleman said:
How I feel at festivals at 40. :lol:





:lol: I guess the particular festival really matters, I see a lot of people over 30 at the ones around here - but the more pure EDM/party focused ones definitely seem to be 18-28... Come to the oregon county fair sometime :awesome: really solid age balance.


--------------------
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InvisibleMiddlemanM

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 1
    #23891530 - 12/03/16 06:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

.


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891566 - 12/03/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

rogue_pixie, if you're really in ye olde england, then you should hit up jokeshopbeard if you're lonely, you guys could grab a pint together.


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©️


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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891584 - 12/03/16 06:29 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
I usually just end up being a troll when I try to meet online dates, which nets alot of laughs but I fugger if I'm going to be trolling I should do it somewhere where there is a public record of such things.




Like, from under a bridge or as in, cleverly pissing people off?

I was posting before about male and female IQ; why the spectrum in males can go from Einstein/Edison to Jack the fucking ripper or Adolf Hitler. A lot more variety given males tendency to go out and compete for eggs. Women are usually about level across the spectrum, much less variety with respect to the given scenario.

I try to view it as a adventure and enjoy the ride regardless of where it goes. It is really strange now a days. Its fun, party, good time and the next sec, people are looking for that white picket fence. Its kind of scary which is why I think people need to be more genuine and up front so expectations are managed.

What are you seeking? I want to just have some fun. If I came across someone about exploring their consciousness, someone unique, not following the beaten path or social conditioning, and listening to mainstream media, I would be open and more intrigued to let things play out.

Quote:

Middleman said:
How I feel at festivals at 40. :lol:






I know what you mean. I will be there one day. As a child, I thought by now, I would be married, settled, 2.2 children, white picket fence, and a big dog (cause small dogs are cats). As I got older, I felt like I distanced myself from that notion. In my wildest dreams, hitting on girls in bars or clubs, online dating or tinder and being single was not what I had in mind. Then again, what is the alternative? If I had married someone from high school or college, we would have split. I am not the same man anymore.

I think the awkwardness of being "that guy" has more to do with internal programming, society's push to "man up," and my favorite, "do the right thing." The harder thing is to be single, to bang the guns, and stake your claim in this life regardless of the outcome.

I wish you all luck. My journey finding this forum was on meeting some very unique individuals who opened my mind up to exploring this sort of lifestyle. Challenging my fears, my world perspectives, coming to grip with different realities, and entertaining the idea that life can change at any given moment. For now, I am single, I embrace it fully, and I take up the journey.

A wise man once said, "seek and you will find. Knock and the door will answer."


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


Edited by finalexplosion (12/03/16 06:37 PM)


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman]
    #23891590 - 12/03/16 06:32 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

that profile is money. now just think of a good general opener and copy/paste message it to every decently attractive girl in your area.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23891593 - 12/03/16 06:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Both?  I always just tell myself I live in a bad area for women, but when I lived in the city it was even worse if I am being honest.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891622 - 12/03/16 06:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You're not alone. I can get sex from women I don't/can't want/have a relationship with. Sex isn't everything to me and I feel like the females I want to have a relationship with pick up on this and are turned off. Today I considered getting some H but I made a decision a couple months ago I wouldn't let a female affect my life negatively. I thoroughly enjoy working on myself though so I'll be alright and you will too. Just give it up and love will find you.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891623 - 12/03/16 06:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Lightening strikes. Keep doing things to make yourself a better person in the meantime. It will get better.


--------------------
:darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Starstepper]
    #23891642 - 12/03/16 06:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Both?  I always just tell myself I live in a bad area for women, but when I lived in the city it was even worse if I am being honest.




I think you can set things up in your life, fb & other social media(s), online dating or tinder, and a your overall lifestyle to increase ones ability to get hits. I chatter a bit randomly when out. I like to break rapport, to actually converse, and break through the same repetitive social programs people are in; "how are you?"

You look into people's eyes, a lot of times, its complete zombie mode, and you have to shake people out of it. Sadly, so many people are going though life just durr'ing around aimlessly.

I was in Starbucks once. I watched a customer give a barista a real hard time for absolutely no reason. I injected myself into the convo, threw in some witty one liner, and the barista laughed. Like she went from one sec of being taken abuse and a bad headspace to, having a laugh. She was mine from that point on. Unfortunately, this was not one of those stories that ends with white picket fence and 2.2 children. It ended with her inviting me over to watch a movie late one night and not seeing much of her afterwards. Just different life tracks.

I think I am addicted to the rollercoaster of it all.
Quote:

Shiithead said:
You're not alone. I can get sex from women I don't/can't want/have a relationship with. Sex isn't everything to me and I feel like the females I want to have a relationship with pick up on this and are turned off. Today I considered getting some H but I made a decision a couple months ago I wouldn't let a female affect my life negatively. I thoroughly enjoy working on myself though so I'll be alright and you will too. Just give it up and love will find you.




I am hit or miss; as in, when I am on, I am on. When I am not, its just not taking. I try not to place too much stock in it. I have seen a series of patterns and I am trying to be aware of them but, not yet affected by it mentally, physically or emotionally. In the process of shifting my paradigm. Easier said than done.

Quote:

Starstepper said:
Lightening strikes. Keep doing things to make yourself a better person in the meantime. It will get better.




Love that. I heard that on that movie, meet joe black, and the point of staying open rather than jaded. In order for lightning to strike and have impact, you must be grounded.
I either look to meditate or do a body scan (surrender to what is; let go), keep myself grounded, pull from the experiences in my life what I can, and let go of the rest.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Lucis]
    #23891650 - 12/03/16 06:54 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
rogue_pixie, if you're really in ye olde england, then you should hit up jokeshopbeard if you're lonely, you guys could grab a pint together.




Lol, yeah I live in the UK. It's not that SMALL though. I'm in the north!


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891658 - 12/03/16 06:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

and that's like a 4-6 hour voyage? You should see mad_larkin instead he lives more towards the middle :awesome:


--------------------
¿Check out some art m8?



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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23891662 - 12/03/16 06:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

twighead said:
and that's like a 4-6 hour voyage? You should see mad_larkin instead he lives more towards the middle :awesome:





Oh yeah?? I live in Newcastle...


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23891666 - 12/03/16 06:58 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'm about to turn 35 and it finally happened to me. Long fucking time man. If I wasn't doing a bunch of things to improve my mind, body and spirit it would not have happened. You have to put forth effort to make yourself happy first and good things start to happen.


--------------------
:darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside:


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891670 - 12/03/16 07:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Quote:

twighead said:
and that's like a 4-6 hour voyage? You should see mad_larkin instead he lives more towards the middle :awesome:





Oh yeah?? I live in Newcastle...



2 hours  :jolly:


--------------------
¿Check out some art m8?



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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23891678 - 12/03/16 07:01 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

What's up Twighead?!


--------------------
:darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside::darkside:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23891680 - 12/03/16 07:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

twighead said:
Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Quote:

twighead said:
and that's like a 4-6 hour voyage? You should see mad_larkin instead he lives more towards the middle :awesome:





Oh yeah?? I live in Newcastle...



2 hours  :jolly:





That's fuckin ages (for an English spright) haha


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891684 - 12/03/16 07:05 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Quote:

twighead said:
Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Quote:

twighead said:
and that's like a 4-6 hour voyage? You should see mad_larkin instead he lives more towards the middle :awesome:





Oh yeah?? I live in Newcastle...



2 hours  :jolly:





That's fuckin ages (for an English spright) haha



Some chaps are just worth it! I'll  be doing a combined 24 hours or so of driving to see my parents this christmas... and thats literally 1 state away. Fucking US :lol:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23891711 - 12/03/16 07:12 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Is he worth it? Tell me more...:lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891775 - 12/03/16 07:32 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Come to ye newe england I will make an honest woman of you.  Consider yourself engaged, if we both hit 35 and are still single I will marry you and we will raise many precious bairns.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891786 - 12/03/16 07:36 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:lol: you've blatantly just Googled 'Newcastle dialect' :lol: love it. Impressed with the effort. I'm actually from Yorkshire though.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891787 - 12/03/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

(albeit residing in Newcastle)


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891820 - 12/03/16 07:46 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
:lol: you've blatantly just Googled 'Newcastle dialect' :lol: love it. Impressed with the effort. I'm actually from Yorkshire though.




Aww look at you two. Met off shroomery <3

First date; fatal dose of edibles in a sensory deprivation tank followed by a trip to Witherspoons for cheap drinks.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23891827 - 12/03/16 07:47 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

being lonely isn't as bad as being a newcastle united fan


--------------------
How do you know but ev’ry Bird that cuts the airy way,
Is an immense world of delight, clos’d by your senses five?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23891830 - 12/03/16 07:48 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Witherspoons!!!Hahahaha :lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891839 - 12/03/16 07:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

No actually I was just ad libbing.  I'm a student of british culture in that I read books and watch british media at times, but I couldn't tell you what words come from where.  I think I first learned about bairns from Irvine Welsh, but I've been wathcing "When the Boat Comes In" lately at the recommendation of a member here I can't recall.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891851 - 12/03/16 07:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Well you were spot on with 'bairns', that's definitely a Geordie word!


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891876 - 12/03/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'll be your Geordie La Forge any day lass.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891878 - 12/03/16 08:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I've drank a whole bottle of rose wine, it breaking me. Someone talk to me....3.04am here. I think my life is falling apart.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891879 - 12/03/16 08:05 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I didn't mention the gin I had before the wine either. Whoops lol


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891883 - 12/03/16 08:06 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Damn, we really do know how to push eachother's buttons, don't we?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891886 - 12/03/16 08:06 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You got this RoguePixie. :heart:
You seem like such an awesome person. Don't give into despair.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23891900 - 12/03/16 08:10 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

That is so sweet of you :heart: I have no idea how to not give into despair right now though. I'm at it again. Drunk, online at an absurd time and very lonely. It's pathetic really lol


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891907 - 12/03/16 08:15 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Why are you drinking alone? Who wouldn't want to drink and get all chatty wit' rogue pixie?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23891915 - 12/03/16 08:18 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

It sounds really EMO but I just haven't met anyone who I gel with. Plenty of acquaintances, but no one as free spirited (yet geeky) and intellectual as me. I'm a bit of a paradox really.


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"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891917 - 12/03/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I mean you're drunk, that's pretty normal.  You'll wake up tomorrow and feel like shit, or shite as you call it, but you'll get through it and life will go on.  You've made at least one friend tonight so I say you're winning at life.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891923 - 12/03/16 08:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'll be winning when I'm fucking til dawn lol


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"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891929 - 12/03/16 08:25 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'll give you bout two and a half then you better be making me a meat pie or I'll give you something to despair about bonny lass :crankey:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891934 - 12/03/16 08:26 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I like rogue pixie when she's drunk.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23891943 - 12/03/16 08:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have no idea what you mean but I LOLed


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Re: Loneliness [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23891946 - 12/03/16 08:29 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Don't encourage me!!!! :lol: I've ran our of wine but there's some gin left....:/


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891953 - 12/03/16 08:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Don't encourage me!!!! :lol: I've ran our of wine but there's some gin left....:/





Drink, sweet girl, that's it... drink. :satan:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23891960 - 12/03/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Only if you find me someone to fuck in return :p


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891963 - 12/03/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Sorry guys *composes self*


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891966 - 12/03/16 08:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

can we haz cyber?  :nerd:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: PartoftheSource] * 1
    #23891969 - 12/03/16 08:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I have out englished a psycho linguo englishwoman .  My crack may be all for nowt, but I am chuffed.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891977 - 12/03/16 08:36 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Sorry guys *composes self*





its not her fault guys! It's all this social lubrication... i mean, Alcohol. Did i say lubrication? :blush:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23891988 - 12/03/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:lol:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23891999 - 12/03/16 08:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Only if you find me someone to fuck in return :p







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Re: Loneliness [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #23892011 - 12/03/16 08:47 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I can't believe it's you!!!! How the fuck have you been? I was beginning to think I was the only old timer around these 'ere parts lol


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23892101 - 12/03/16 09:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I am a pretty introverted person for the most part and have always had trouble creating meaningful and lasting relationships. I have learned a lot over time though. Getting new hobbies  and improving myself has been my main concern... but once in awhile an opportunity will present itself. I find that i need to be with a woman that i can have an intelligent conversation with and share ideas with. A couple weeks ago a woman i recently met said the most romantic thing to me i've ever heard in my life.... she said "Would you like to get together with me sometime and study the works of Nikola Tesla with regards to his free energy experiments?".  And we have really clicked and been hanging out a lot since.... i am very hopeful that it could turn into a great & meaningful relationship... time will tell, but so far it has been amazing. :mushroom2:


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Edited by Reprobate420 (12/03/16 09:19 PM)


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Reprobate420]
    #23892122 - 12/03/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:hahthatscute: that's true love right there.  Tell her you want to rub your copper spool over her magnet.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Reprobate420] * 1
    #23892126 - 12/03/16 09:22 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Ahhh
Its that time of year again ehhh
The most magically depressing months of thee year


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23892136 - 12/03/16 09:25 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
:hahthatscute: that's true love right there.  Tell her you want to rub your copper spool over her magnet.




We have jokingly talked about kinky sex by using scientific metaphors lol Actually quite the turn on. I think I will ask her soon if she wants to make it official and be in an actual relationship... things have been moving in that direction anyways :grin:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Reprobate420]
    #23892838 - 12/04/16 03:41 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Is he worth it? Tell me more...:lol:



Just search his posts Mad_Larkin

This ones worth the effort!


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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23892856 - 12/04/16 04:04 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I'm lonely all the time. Big whoop who cares. The hardest part is realizing nobody cares. Stop being a little bitch. If you actually look around you and notice the people that do care you just wound whiny.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 5
    #23892860 - 12/04/16 04:10 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

RP, if I may offer some advice sister to sister -

The journey you're on right now is about becoming completely OK with your loneliness. That moment where you're finally so in love with yourself that you'd rather stay alone then settle for "just anyone", THAT is the moment that you will find someone special.

So, what can you do to fall deeply and madly in love with YOURSELF? Find the answer and then do it. What you attract when you do will be like night and day to what you're going to attract with the energy of loneliness.

Also, PLEASE be wary of BOYS who will seek to capitalize on and exploit your loneliness. :hug:

With all that said, I met my partner online. We've been together for 4 years, and we're very very happy. I don't necessarily think it's the medium of online that's not working for you, but perhaps the energy you're putting out or putting into it. :pm: If you want to chat more.

:bunnyhug:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23892909 - 12/04/16 05:13 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
The journey you're on right now is about becoming completely OK with your loneliness. That moment where you're finally so in love with yourself that you'd rather stay alone then settle for "just anyone", THAT is the moment that you will find someone special.

So, what can you do to fall deeply and madly in love with YOURSELF? Find the answer and then do it. What you attract when you do will be like night and day to what you're going to attract with the energy of loneliness.




So true.
I experienced severe levels of loneliness when I was ill with schizophrenia. I eventually had an epiphany this loneliness was in my head and though humans ARE social creatures, I am completely happy working on myself and everything will click into place with time.

Now I've been clean from opiates and experiencing healthy normal human emotions once again, my instinct for sex and socialising has ignited. I am horny and lonely, yes, but it doesn't bother me. And I believe in sexual transmutation now. When I don't masturbate, I feel alive, especially at the gym in terms of endurance, power and stamina.
I've socialised with more people and women in the last 6 weeks than I have in last 4+ years :highfive:


If you can't find inner peace with yourself, find a hobby RP.... gym, fitness classes, whatever. Please don't sit in your house, feel like crap and then making it worse when you try to drink your feelings/loneliness away  :hugitout:


--------------------
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Edited by daz01 (12/04/16 05:14 AM)


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OfflineLucisM
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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23893379 - 12/04/16 10:34 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
The journey you're on right now is about becoming completely OK with your loneliness. That moment where you're finally so in love with yourself that you'd rather stay alone then settle for "just anyone", THAT is the moment that you will find someone special.






Good advice.

I have constantly seen two of my family members flit from one relationship to another, they ended up defining who they were through acceptance from others, which is not healthy.

One of them has said they didn't know who they were, and this is one of the pitfalls of defining your happiness through being accepted by others.  Nothings wrong with wanting others to accept you, it's a very real feeling, but know who you are first.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: Lucis] * 4
    #23893444 - 12/04/16 11:07 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Hey hey hey lets not get carried away here.  I don't want her to get too confident.  It's not easy to find someone who finds my drunken blathering charming that late on a Saturday.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23893961 - 12/04/16 01:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

venetianblinds said:
being lonely isn't as bad as being a newcastle united fan




Or worse, A Man U fan. lol

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
Witherspoons!!!Hahahaha :lol:




She sounds interested lol Take that loneliness!


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23893979 - 12/04/16 01:35 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
RP, if I may offer some advice sister to sister -

The journey you're on right now is about becoming completely OK with your loneliness. That moment where you're finally so in love with yourself that you'd rather stay alone then settle for "just anyone", THAT is the moment that you will find someone special.




I heard this before. Its actually the second time I have heard it. It sounds narcissistic but, there definitely is bit of truth to that. It seems to happen when least expected.

Quote:

So, what can you do to fall deeply and madly in love with YOURSELF? Find the answer and then do it. What you attract when you do will be like night and day to what you're going to attract with the energy of loneliness.

Also, PLEASE be wary of BOYS who will seek to capitalize on and exploit your loneliness. :hug:

:bunnyhug:




I love smashing and stage 5ers make it all the more easy.


--------------------
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OfflineSvetaketu
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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23894185 - 12/04/16 02:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
The journey you're on right now is about becoming completely OK with your loneliness. That moment where you're finally so in love with yourself that you'd rather stay alone then settle for "just anyone", THAT is the moment that you will find someone special.

So, what can you do to fall deeply and madly in love with YOURSELF? Find the answer and then do it. What you attract when you do will be like night and day to what you're going to attract with the energy of loneliness.

:bunnyhug:




Damn that was inspiring, hope you stick around :sun:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny] * 1
    #23894379 - 12/04/16 04:20 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

A person can be perfectly healthy, confident and happy with themselves and still be lonely. An isolated individual does not a healthy individual make. We are social creatures. We NEED relationships with other people (of all kinds) to be fully healthy.

It is one thing to love oneself, but quite another to expect someone to be happy in complete loneliness living essentially as a social recluse/hermit. It just isn't in the human nature to be like that and there is nothing wrong in admitting that.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



Edited by rogue_pixie (12/04/16 04:21 PM)


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 1
    #23894405 - 12/04/16 04:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

well, it is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society, I always say.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: mt cleverest]
    #23894412 - 12/04/16 04:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:lol: Yeah some of us NEED to spend a few years alone in the middle of desert. I'm mush more of a patient and appreciative person because I did.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23894415 - 12/04/16 04:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Well, I guess I misinterpreted your OP then. It seemed to that you were saying your loneliness was the direct result of lack of romantic love at this point in your life.

Hope you find what you're looking for!

:bunnypeace:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23894426 - 12/04/16 04:36 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)



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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23894453 - 12/04/16 04:43 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

'...I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength...'

Not just about romantic love no, just about being very isolated in general.

Thank you. I hope so too.  You lovely folks are certainly helping. Been some nice supportive words and helpful advice, and a lot of LOLs hehe :smile::heart:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23894456 - 12/04/16 04:45 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You might be lonely, but you're never alone.  I've got to sleep but you've got my undying affection.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23894502 - 12/04/16 05:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

You certainly stand out from the crowd :inlove3: :wink:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie] * 1
    #23895324 - 12/04/16 09:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
A person can be perfectly healthy, confident and happy with themselves and still be lonely. An isolated individual does not a healthy individual make. We are social creatures. We NEED relationships with other people (of all kinds) to be fully healthy.

It is one thing to love oneself, but quite another to expect someone to be happy in complete loneliness living essentially as a social recluse/hermit. It just isn't in the human nature to be like that and there is nothing wrong in admitting that.




Agreed. I think her point was, the more you embrace you freedom, practice self love, be completely in love with yourself, the higher the probability you will meet your ideal partner in crime. You wont put off a stage fiver vibe, you wont be in a place of scarcity, needy or clingy (not to say you are).

I have been single for sometime but, I date a fair bit, and with apps as well as being ballsy, its a great time. I think your routine does not lend to much opportunity and I am picking up on a lot of unproductive redundancies. A trip to the grocery store, likely not a single interaction. A trip to the gym, I have chatted up a handful of chicks before leaving and likely, picked up at least a few numbers. The trip is to lift but, the rest is just bonus. As for conversion, it takes much better IRL vs online.

I know what you mean. I just think you could shake up your routine a bit. What New Yrs resolution do you have for yourself? A simple guy membership opens up a bunch of doors. For guys, taking up a few classes (yoga, spin, hot yoga etc.) is money. For one, its accompanied with your membership and as a bonus, the ratio of women is ridiculous. I am fascinated by chaos theory. That one decision and the ripple affect that decision has. Mess with it a bit. Ask someone out. Ask a guy if you find interested in if he has a gf? Any guy that does not suffer from low testosterone will presume interest, and request your digits. 

Opportunity favors the brave.

Ps: I was in my study reading today. I came across a segment in a book on the topic of "loneliness." I thought of your predicament and post. The author says its the perspective of being alone. Its a call to action to connect with people again. Ask yourself, is it a friendship, intimacy or other that you would like? Be vulnerable in the sense of remaining open and expressing what you want all the while, moving towards what you want no matter the results. No regrets.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


Edited by finalexplosion (12/04/16 09:58 PM)


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion] * 1
    #23895999 - 12/05/16 06:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Great post.

That's more or less what I meant.

I just moved to a new city fairly recently and I met almost everyone I know through plugging into the yoga community here - teaching & practicing.

:bunnypeace:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23896316 - 12/05/16 09:54 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

In the city I moved to last year I pretty much wasn't able to meet anyone I jived with for months until I started to go to the community dances and yoga gatherings as well.. then suddenly there were dozens of amazing people everywhere :awesome:


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Invisibletrvptamine
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23896322 - 12/05/16 09:57 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
How do you deal with it?

It's a feeling that has plagued me for most of my life. However, I thought that by the time I hit 30 I would be married with children by now, but I am very much single. I don't have many friends, not any whom I feel close to, because I never seem to meet people who are on my wavelength. I'm about to officially graduate with a master's degree and I'm doing a PhD in psycholinguistics. So from the outside, my life looks as though it is 'going well', but in actual fact, it feels completely and utterly pointless because I am so lonely and isolated.

Don't get me wrong, I love my own company, and doing things by myself, but doing that for the REST of my life is not something that I want to do. I am getting so tired of 'me' time. Life is infinitely better when it's shared with someone else/others. I am starting to lose the drive to do anything. I feel like a total outsider and it's cripplingly lonely.

Just wondering if anyone else is in a similar position re loneliness and the inability to meet people? It certainly seems to get more difficult with age.



go to a bar


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Invisiblerogue_pixie
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Re: Loneliness [Re: trvptamine] * 2
    #23910719 - 12/09/16 04:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Try internet dating they said. It'd be a good thing they said...WORST.DATE.EVER.:lol:


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"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlineweirdguy32
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23910724 - 12/09/16 04:10 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

oh no:sad:?


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Re: Loneliness [Re: weirdguy32]
    #23910771 - 12/09/16 04:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

He was just nothing like he came across online at all. We got on really well over instant messages, and he came across as really funny, talkative, bubbly and friendly. However, he was nothing like that in person. I understand that he was probably a bit nervous, but the weird thing was that he said he'd had about 3 pints before we met up. So I was expecting him to be quite upbeat and jolly by the time we met me. It was just nothing like our online communication.

He also said that he was 5'9 in his profile. I've got nothing against short guys, and a man being my height or shorter than me wouldn't put me off seeing him if we got on well but it's the fact that he lied about his height. So when he showed up and he was the same height as me it shocked me at first. But mostly, I got the sense that he was disappointed that I wasn't shorter because he said he liked short women prior to us meeting up, but he'd asked me how tall I was just before we met up and when I said 5'6 he seemed surprised and said that I had a 'a short person's face', which I found  a bit offensive but he said it was a compliment. I think just as soon as he saw me the height was an issue for HIM, so he just couldn't be arsed to make an effort after that, and that is probably why his personality seemed so different. He really looked like he didn't want to be there at all.

He's French and I didn't like it when he started being rude about English culture, saying that people in the city I live in drink to excess too much, and saying that English women wear too much makeup. He seemed a bit arrogant.

So yeah, not the best :lol: I was so hopeful about that date :frown: I don't think you can tell a DAMN THING about people over the internet. People are just totally fucking different in real life.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



Edited by rogue_pixie (12/09/16 04:28 PM)


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Offlineweirdguy32
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23910782 - 12/09/16 04:31 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:frenchie:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: weirdguy32]
    #23910832 - 12/09/16 04:53 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

:lol:


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"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23911238 - 12/09/16 07:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Great post.




I do that..

Quote:

That's more or less what I meant.




What specifically?

Quote:

I just moved to a new city fairly recently and I met almost everyone I know through plugging into the yoga community here - teaching & practicing.

:bunnypeace:




Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.

In before genius is recognized

Quote:

trvptamine said:go to a bar




Its an option but, I do not think it is a either or. There is an abundance of ways to crack an egg.

Quote:

rogue_pixie said:
He was just nothing like he came across online at all. We got on really well over instant messages, and he came across as really funny, talkative, bubbly and friendly. However, he was nothing like that in person. I understand that he was probably a bit nervous, but the weird thing was that he said he'd had about 3 pints before we met up. So I was expecting him to be quite upbeat and jolly by the time we met me. It was just nothing like our online communication.




Were you shy or uncomfortable? I ask cause, a lot of times, people are mirroring each other unconsciously. I adopt the philosophy to just lead, put best foot forward, and let a woman follow or fall into the abyss. In either event, it is a personal journey, and you see who you intersect with.

Quote:

He also said that he was 5'9 in his profile. I've got nothing against short guys, and a man being my height or shorter than me wouldn't put me off seeing him if we got on well but it's the fact that he lied about his height. So when he showed up and he was the same height as me it shocked me at first. But mostly, I got the sense that he was disappointed that I wasn't shorter because he said he liked short women prior to us meeting up, but he'd asked me how tall I was just before we met up and when I said 5'6 he seemed surprised and said that I had a 'a short person's face', which I found  a bit offensive but he said it was a compliment. I think just as soon as he saw me the height was an issue for HIM, so he just couldn't be arsed to make an effort after that, and that is probably why his personality seemed so different. He really looked like he didn't want to be there at all.




I understand that. Then again, I have had buddies who tell me the story of meeting women several hundreds of pounds heavier than the photo posted as though, it was a pic from the 90s lol

It sounds really petty on both sides. If you both got on so well, it likely was first date jitters. I think people are fast to just bounce out and keep cycling. Its like riding a bike around the block or on a track. You keep finding yourself in the same predicament and place even if with different people.

Quote:

He's French and I didn't like it when he started being rude about English culture, saying that people in the city I live in drink to excess too much, and saying that English women wear too much makeup. He seemed a bit arrogant.




Typically, topics like race, culture, politics, religion, feminism, and essentially anything high risk is likely best left out of convo especially on first dates.

Quote:

So yeah, not the best :lol: I was so hopeful about that date :frown: I don't think you can tell a DAMN THING about people over the internet. People are just totally fucking different in real life.




What I am picking up on in all do respect is that, your expectations were not met and likely, they were too high. A real relationship encompasses a variety of different things. Actual 'love' is not like the movies or neediness on tv, clinging, two people running at one another on a beach, and the credits rolling. It is a shit ton of hard work.

The way I hear a lot of women talk about men, their husbands or boyfriends, it is not shocking why many dudes are just not into it. You aren't like that. Remain open. Be vulnerable. Keep it real with respect to what you want.


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The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23912496 - 12/10/16 08:55 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.





Nope. Happily in partnership.

The guy to girl ratio in yoga classes IS ridiculous, as the physical practice of yoga (Asana) was actually specifically developed for male monks.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: finalexplosion]
    #23912531 - 12/10/16 09:26 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

My expectations were not too high. I actually tried to make the most of the date, even though he was the one who was not into me because he was intimidated by my height. He kept looking around the room, and at other women walking past. All I said is that his height initially shocked me because he had lied about it on his profile. I moved past that but he didn't seem to be able to.

I also know that it's his view that there is either a 'spark' or no spark. He said before we met up that with his last dates within the first few seconds of meeting them, he just knew that it wasn't going to work and I know he got that same feeling with me.


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912566 - 12/10/16 09:37 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Yeah that is like the equivalent of telling a woman "you look alot older than *age in profile*"

There's alot out there like that sadly, then when you do even meet someone you click with it's far from uncommon to hit a wall and have things not work out, and once in a while a spark will blow right up in your face. 

That's why I think it is important to just be nice, not have grand expectations, and have fun.  Keep at it if you get lonely, you need to socialize or the awkwardness will start to feel normal, and then there is no going back.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23912587 - 12/10/16 09:46 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I remind myself of how shitty the dating scene is, getting dates no problem. Clicking with someone big problem. I'm sure many users on here have experienced similar. The general public doesn't carry much of the same views this website is founded off of. I also live in an area with a lot of money and majority of the women out here are beautiful. But imagine your typical Beverly hills gold digger. Tried the online thing but there just seems to be a ton of "cat fishing". If someones a little thicker be honest, you'll get a better response than hiding your weight with camera angles. Although I did meet one chick who i still talk to. Real conversation too its pretty nice. Anything from medical discoveries to theology/spirituality, even takes an interest in psychedelics but is afraid of them.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23912665 - 12/10/16 10:19 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Nah. I'm done with internet dating. It's really not for me. It seems awkward and forced, and all the best ones are clearly either gay or taken :lol:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912725 - 12/10/16 10:43 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Or 3000 miles away, right? :grin:

Yeah I hate to say it, but sometimes I will meet a girl that I like, and I will just assume she has a boyfriend without even asking.  I'm like, "there's no way nobody snatched her up, I won't even bother."  It's just so hard to ask that in a casual manner, especially if you don't really know them, but if online dating isn't happening it's pretty much the only way.


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Re: Loneliness [Re: rogue_pixie]
    #23912730 - 12/10/16 10:45 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Hope you all find what your looking for in life

And I sincerely do


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SO WILL YOU COME ALONG TO MY NEXT EUPHORIC FEAST.

I LOVE MUSHROOMS THEY MUSH UP THE ROOM THERE AINT MUCH ROOM IN HERE
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Re: Loneliness [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23912851 - 12/10/16 11:38 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Or 3000 miles away, right? :grin:




Exactly :laugh:

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:Yeah I hate to say it, but sometimes I will meet a girl that I like, and I will just assume she has a boyfriend without even asking.  I'm like, "there's no way nobody snatched her up, I won't even bother."  It's just so hard to ask that in a casual manner, especially if you don't really know them, but if online dating isn't happening it's pretty much the only way.




I agree with this. It seems impossible to meet anyone in the real world cos everyone's so shy or using online dating. Looks like I'm destined to be alone though, cos I really can't be bothered with the online crap. Too much disappointment and wasted time


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Re: Loneliness [Re: BasilBush]
    #23912854 - 12/10/16 11:39 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

thank you :sun:


--------------------
"Whatever you do, you need to keep moving.  Because when you stop moving you die (physically and emotionally).

Good luck and blessings of happiness and fortune." ~ RandalFlagg RIP



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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Loneliness [Re: yogabunny]
    #23913089 - 12/10/16 01:13 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

yogabunny said:
Quote:

Single? I think more dudes should indulge in yoga. The health benefits is unreal, lots of breathing, and essentially meditation in an active practice. Furthermore, the girl to guy ratio is ridiculous. I don't understand why guys would line up to loud clubs and bars full of losers in tap out shirts several sizes too small, drunken dudes, and absolute sword fights when, a yoga class is just for the taking.





Nope. Happily in partnership.

The guy to girl ratio in yoga classes IS ridiculous, as the physical practice of yoga (Asana) was actually specifically developed for male monks.



Lady yogi's so strong, full of energy and brightness too :awesome:


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Re: Loneliness [Re: twighead]
    #23913142 - 12/10/16 01:34 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

I've been doing P90X yoga for two years, it's surprisingly good. I'll try taking a class but I have a feeling all the women there will be over 50. I live near Lake Havasu, AZ. :lol:


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Offlinetwighead
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Re: Loneliness [Re: Middleman]
    #23914238 - 12/10/16 06:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Middleman said:
I've been doing P90X yoga for two years, it's surprisingly good. I'll try taking a class but I have a feeling all the women there will be over 50. I live near Lake Havasu, AZ. :lol:



Hah, well nearly all of the people I've met in the community regardless of the age are worth meeting :wink:... maybe they have groovy daughters :lolsy:


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