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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
im too negative
    #2303733 - 02/05/04 05:03 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

hi im starting to like this forum its pretty helpful and stuff...but anyway i need some advice. this is something thats affecting my life in all aspects and i really wanna turn it around . ive got a negative personality. i take lil problems and dwell on them. when im depressed i complain about it and cant get my self to stop.. it just pops out with the rest of my words and il say something that i regret saying. everyone says im negative all the time and it really hurts when someone says that..because who wants to be around someone whos negative. it also started manifesting its self in my dreams my suscipions of my friends and my lack of confidence plays out my worse fears of my social life in my dreams....so when i wake up i feel all shitty and yup negative...

my negativity has to do with alot. one being that i feel im ugly. or not worthy of attention. also my dad is extremly negative and its starting to rub off on me. my worst fear is to become my dad because i see him and i know hs not happy. he tells me all his problems all the time and it buts a heavy load on me. and i dont wanna do that to other people. i dont wanna see the cup half empty i wanna look at it and smile and say yay i got a half a cup full

...thats also my problem lately. i cant smile . when i try to have fun i have this block in me ... im stone cold and when i do smile i dont let it out i almost fake it even when i want too....i lack confidence to do things i use to be proud of my self for doing so well and over anaylse stuff to the point where i cant do it anymore.
more than anything in my life i want to be happy. and as im going through my life im realizing that this fulfilment im seeking is there at every second (basicaly) but ive got realize it and make the best out of every situation...but i cant. my thoughts catch up to me and my low self esteem bring me into my never ending abys of misery negativity and i question if im worthy to even be alive.

just so u know even in the happiest situations i can be negative ... when im happy im negative i cant figure it out......what do you people think....what would you do...i really think my dad has a lot to do with it but im stuck with him for the rest of my life basicaly i just need to take this EXTREMELY negative energy and turn it into something good....but how?

o i just want to add in here that recently ive been getting panic attacks from smoking weed this is because of me being paranoid from the weed and then my low self esteem leads me to belive everyone is hating me and anylsing me at that moment....so i quit its been 5 days...but i wanna smoke again so i gotta fix this....
what drug helps with negative energy the most
You may choose 4
lsd
dmt
mushrooms
GANJA


Votes accepted from (02/05/04 02:00 AM) to (No end specified)
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



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Offlinekushlover
stringcheesehead

Registered: 07/17/01
Posts: 803
Loc: USA
Last seen: 1 year, 2 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2303752 - 02/05/04 05:16 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Definetely mushrooms from my experience anyway. All the negative shit seems to get sorted out.


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What I just told you is a lie.


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2303767 - 02/05/04 05:31 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I voted ganja, meaning it helps WITH negative energy, ganja builds it up.  But shrooms just lets your positive energy flow from your soul and you just feel so good, and you feel there is nothing better than just that... to be good with yourself and others. 

I fake smiles often.  Before, when I was paranoid and all fucked up on weed I didnt know how to smile, I'd like forgotten how to smile.  I would smile like once a week when there was something I thought was funny, then I'd be all like "OH SHIT!  I smiled!" and trying to remember how I did it.  Pretty crazy.  People gave me this scared look when I smiled to them cause it probably looked all fake and insane. WOW it was so weird... its all coming back to me now, fuck, dude, the weed, you have to stop with the weed now, seriosuly THAT shit FUCKS you up.  I'm still fucked up with a few things like, when I smile and look at someone I dont know how long to look or how long not to look, like when it goes from normal smiling untill staring like a lunatic... I dont know that, cant figure it out :confused:. everything used to be natural before I got all wrapped up in weed.  S-T-O-P smoking weed, I've stopped a year ago and am still recovering.

About the negativity, take a shroom trip and reflect on your life, it really helps, you'll figure things out.


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Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: im too negative [Re: filthysock]
    #2303775 - 02/05/04 05:37 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

wow thats whats happening to me when i talk to people i dont know how to look at them...like il make eye contact and imediatly turn away or il feel like im staring....i never know where to look.....god damnit why could the anti drug comercials say this shit...im definatly gunna not smoke for a while, as for shrooms im not gunna have them for a while. but im gunna be takin some 2-ci soon and hopefully some acid. i just wanna be able to positve without drugs too.          im gunna miss that weed :nonono:


o yea thanks for the input its nice to know that its not just me heh....


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2304019 - 02/05/04 10:30 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I used to be bloody negative about everything, people would always say STOP BEING SO FUCKING NEGATIVE, it can be hard not to look at things in a negative way no matter what your mood.

I'm sure 99% of the time you have negative thoughts they are either completely unfounded or hugely exaggerated by your mind.

I often make positive things into bad thought, and I turn things that could be interpreted as bad when they are actually meaningless. Stop yourself at least saying negative things whenever you realise they are negative as your about to say them, once you start to block some of the negative thoughts you can gain a better understanding of why you think like this.

The only issue I really have with smoking weed is that can increase my anxiety, however it chills my head out at least half the time. I find if I smoke a joint on my own of with just a couple of my best friends my head stops screwing with me so much, and i just think oh well about things I know will most likely turn out for the best.

Instead of thinking what if? - think so what? (stole that off some website but its a good way of looking at things)
The only stuff that cannot really be countered thinking like this is things like a close friend having a terminal illness or something similar as this is obviously a shitty situation for anyone to be in.

The eye contact thing is a weird one, I know exactly what you mean but I find I only really think about it if there's a crew of rudeboys walking past or something. Anyone remotely decent is not gonna give a shit if you make eye contact, the only way they might be remotely bothered is when you stare directly at them for 30 seconds or so.

Like filthy sock said laying of the weed for a while is surely a good idea, weed can give you some very odd thought proccesses and makes mental issues worse quite often. Plus when you have weed around you may or may not be relying on it as a support to remove the unwanted feelings.


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2305400 - 02/05/04 04:17 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You know when a problem becomes a problem? When you care about it. WHatever you try to repress or hide from people will bubble under the surface and finally pop out as a big problem, it is the very repression of an issue that turns into... whats it called... ummm... Hysteria, there's another word for it, I forgot.

Anyway, you gotta quit the weed, and I mean for like a year or so... seriosuly. Your problems seem a lot like the ones I had (and some I'm starting to get over for real now... and its been about a year. The biggest cause to the problem was weed and the best cure (and it really really really in all honesty I swear to god it is) is to not care. The day you loose all concern about your appearance and actions is the day you will gain confidence... and from that confidence positivity will shine.

A shroom trip will make you realize this if you just let it show you, shrooms have done WONDERS for my problems...
Only if you have respect shrooms and dont take them too often.


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Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: im too negative [Re: filthysock]
    #2306567 - 02/05/04 09:56 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

well i wasnt really expecting drugs to solve my problems i was just saying in general which ones could help with this shit......ooook and filthy sock thanks for the support and shit. im definatly laying off the weed even though its gunna be mad hard for me cause thats all my friends do. ive been pot free for 5 days now. so wuts a few hundred more.... just too explain i have trouble letting shit go my life can be pretty shitty and thats because my dad doesnt do anything right so we are constantly in chaos and there is never peace in my house as far as money and shit goes... so blah im gunna try and stop my self from keeping and sharing these thoughts i just wish it were easier....thanks again


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OfflineJudas
taxidermist

Registered: 09/23/02
Posts: 78
Loc: Iowa
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2306773 - 02/05/04 10:47 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

well if its just a psychological problem I would suggest writing down your feelings in a journal, and taking some time to do breathing exercises and yoga. Take some long walks and get to know yourself and make sure this is all done in a sober clear state of mind. Just slow down and appreciate your CHANCE, your moment, right now. I would also suggest looking into an SSRI (antidepressant). A lot of people have chemical deficiencies or imabalances ( I am one of them ) and really do need to use a drug to correct the problem. Good luck in your troubles I have been there and dude it is never too late to take a fucked up life to a beautiful place, I dont know how fucked up if at all your life may be or seem but I am sure your negativity is just misplaced energy.


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"Better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not".
Phlogiston Verdigris


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2307565 - 02/06/04 04:22 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

im negative too. i don't want to be, its just my natural personality. i hate that it is this way because i would love to be positive and always have a smile and a good outlook on situations. instead i am always expecting the worst. my nickname used to be "negative nick"...oh how i wish i could change myeslf into a more positive person.


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ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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OfflineMorbidHamster
Total Head Fook
Registered: 10/21/02
Posts: 121
Loc: Un-United Kingdom
Last seen: 11 years, 6 months
Re: im too negative [Re: filthysock]
    #2309891 - 02/06/04 09:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

filthysock said:
I voted ganja, meaning it helps WITH negative energy, ganja builds it up.  But shrooms just lets your positive energy flow from your soul and you just feel so good, and you feel there is nothing better than just that... to be good with yourself and others. 

I fake smiles often.  Before, when I was paranoid and all fucked up on weed I didnt know how to smile, I'd like forgotten how to smile.  I would smile like once a week when there was something I thought was funny, then I'd be all like "OH SHIT!  I smiled!" and trying to remember how I did it.  Pretty crazy.  People gave me this scared look when I smiled to them cause it probably looked all fake and insane. WOW it was so weird... its all coming back to me now, fuck, dude, the weed, you have to stop with the weed now, seriosuly THAT shit FUCKS you up.  I'm still fucked up with a few things like, when I smile and look at someone I dont know how long to look or how long not to look, like when it goes from normal smiling untill staring like a lunatic... I dont know that, cant figure it out :confused:. everything used to be natural before I got all wrapped up in weed.  S-T-O-P smoking weed, I've stopped a year ago and am still recovering.

About the negativity, take a shroom trip and reflect on your life, it really helps, you'll figure things out.




Listen to this man/woman he/she speaks the truth, if your going to smoke weed take heed and USE IT IN MODERATE DOSSAGE if you are going to smoke it. DO NOT smoke it every day like i'm sure alot of people do Marijuana is Illegal for a reason, some of us learned the hard way, make sure its not you.....


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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: im too negative [Re: Judas]
    #2310131 - 02/06/04 11:07 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i was on paxil and i hated it so im not gunna take any of those medications ...they were counter productive in my opninon


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Offlineshr00m
junglisT 2 thefUll3st

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 801
Last seen: 7 years, 5 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2310972 - 02/07/04 05:58 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

you can't really say drugs or whatever doesn't help. because we are all different. because there are some cases of drugs actually helping you. in the aspect of experiences and not just a habit of addiction.

but hey. you have already started to change. because you took it like a man that you had problems and asked for help. because people need help sometimes.

im glad you acknowledged the fact that you have a problem. because you are being honest. and honesty helps overcoming problems. i only hope that you actually do want to change and i hope that you keep on trying. don't give up. don't ever give up. because it just builds on.

i understand your problems. not because i went through the same thing you did. because that isn't necessary cuz it wont ever happen. but the fact that such problems can exist. we are all the same.

in reality i can sort of relate to what your going through. depression and negative outlook took hold of my life once. it was my state of mind and it was so horrible that it was my new normal feelings i had. deep down i wanted to get better but ignored the fact that depression, and negativity happens and is the same thing as happyness and positivity. they are all emotions that we experience. i just thought id never get better....and i noticed that i was lying to myself. that i limited and denied the fact that I was human.

because the only constant thing that occurs is change. we are just filters. and its really bad to get stuck on emotion. i believe in a balance. that without negativity, what would being always positive matter?perfection for humans is impossible. thats why you need to keep trying to solve your problems.

i know in one aspect one might think that i didn't help much. and thats ok. because somethings like these problems are more then just mere problems. imo. just understand yourself. i kno its not easy at all. i had very similiar problems like yourself, and to this very day they occur every now and then. but i dont run away. and as for you thinking you are ugly. that it self shows how far apart you are from who you really are. which tells me that u can change!

i admit not caring what other people think about me was one hard ass problem. but i got over it. it took me a long ass time. i am finally a senior in h.s. and i look back at my youth. because iwas a pretty damn mean selfish kid. i was so fake and yes..METH made me realize who i really am. and what i want. and it wasnt a fake realization because i think the same when i am sober too. because to me i always thought a lot but i was always confused where my thoughts would take me or what they even ment. and i also lived my life based on other peoples opinions, and what not and didn't stay true tomyself.

i was a true teen product of america. and along with that came many insecurities(thinkin im no good for anyone or im ugly),etc. because HONESTLY. what good does it do if you base your looks on what others think of u. when at the same time u arent even yourself and dont understand yourself. how are u ever gonna understand other people?!

so here i am at my senior yr and notice i made a complete change in my life. i learned so many new things and solved so many problems in the past few months. and i am now a much stronger and wiser person. id say smarter too but society views getting bad grades in school..stupidity. but the knowledge i gained from real life overruns things like bad grades in school.

basically what im sayin is the tougher life throws problems at you , its up to you and to try and conquer such problems. many people have it so easy like all those so called popular kids. but u never know. they could be goin thru absolute hell. trust me, these experiences that you are going through and problems throughout life can be changed. it will onlymake you a stronger person because these problems are gonna repeat over and over again. new and new problems everyday. so the more u understand yourself the easier it will be to move on in life. its something you dont learn by me just writing this down and you reading. its something you go through in life. which i(not bragging)think in this corrupted brainwash age that you get when you are much older.

you dont have to be like the rest. you can snap out of it. i believe in you if you believe in yourself that shit happens and its best not just stay stuck but to move on. and running away from the problems, whether it be usin drugs or playin video games or shit like that wont helpp ya. keep trying to solve your problems. if one thing doesn't work then move on and keep tryin till you get it "right".be patient. things dont always work the way or the pace you want it to. GOOD LUCK FELLOW BROTHER and dont give hope!


****sorry if this was too long,messy,didnt make sense,etc. as i didnt look back at what i wrote but just typed. if u have any questions or anythin, u kno theres that reply button :smile:


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the only constant is change~ life goes on. so theres no point in staying back because you can always catch up. try,hope, and understand!


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: im too negative [Re: TODAY]
    #2311125 - 02/07/04 09:27 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

TODAY said:
im negative too. i don't want to be, its just my natural personality. i hate that it is this way because i would love to be positive and always have a smile and a good outlook on situations. instead i am always expecting the worst. my nickname used to be "negative nick"...oh how i wish i could change myeslf into a more positive person.




I allways had the impression you were a positive person...


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Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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OfflineOook
Oook!

Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
Loc: England
Last seen: 12 years, 2 months
Re: im too negative [Re: filthysock]
    #2311145 - 02/07/04 09:51 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Jamez I was on paxil too, that stuff is poo it doesnt work for shit and just gives you this lame numb feeling. Plus its banned for under 18's now cos placebos have a 31% success rate and paxil has a 41% success rate which is not exactly impressive(plus it caused a fair few teenage suicides)

I have a weird sort of outlook on my appearance, I know a reasonable amount of girls think i'm cute but I still can't stand the way I look. I hate looking myself in the mirror and if I have to I avoid looking at my face as a whole if I can help it.

I think going with the flow of a good vibe is always great, if you feel in a good mood and feel like doing something just for the hell of it just do it, it feels great. Whether its dancing to a funky song or running down the highstreet screaming, it doesn't harm anyone but it sure is fun.

Jamez I'm gonna quit gear now, it's screwing up too much stuff for me: my finances, my head and my college work. I have considered quitting before but in the end I have just cut down, which still is not enough, I need to stop. My doctor advises me to quit because it doesn't help depression or anxiety for shit and just generally exacerbates them.

Oh btw what sort of music dyu listen to? this may have some bearing on your outlook on life.


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OfflineZutroye
Duke
Registered: 06/12/03
Posts: 301
Last seen: 5 years, 8 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2312236 - 02/07/04 06:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

  :oogle:
Quote:

when i talk to people i dont know how to look at them...like il make eye contact and imediatly turn away or il feel like im staring....i never know where to look


shit the same fucking thing happen to me and I don't know what to do with that


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OfflineJudas
taxidermist

Registered: 09/23/02
Posts: 78
Loc: Iowa
Last seen: 11 years, 8 months
Re: im too negative [Re: Zutroye]
    #2314798 - 02/08/04 05:02 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Paxil may not have worked for you or for a lot of people, but I can tell you that it nearly saved my life. My symptoms were aleviated and they were mental as well as physical.


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"Better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you're not".
Phlogiston Verdigris


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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: im too negative [Re: Oook]
    #2316803 - 02/09/04 06:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

i listen to lots of music but my top bands are  system of a down, tool, rage against the machine, dead kennedys, bob marley, and nirvana....but whenever music is on im pretty much happy.

shroom thanks for the support

i just started going out with  my first love again....we have been apart for a year and being together has made my world a much better place...we are both trying hard to help eachother with our problems. i think i can do this now my mind is rearranging . im far from done im just starting but now i feel hope and
some of you guys are the reason for that.... i love :heartpump: the shroomery thanks guys.

too people who feel negative like me listen to these people smoking just feeds the negativity. quiting is slowly helping me come back to the reality which is my life and im finding its not so bad. when u smoke u feel like u constantly gotta be high to have fun but its not true.  just try to look on the bright side of life..(whitsling men on crosses lol hur hur)


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Offlinefilthysock
puresoul

Registered: 01/12/04
Posts: 2,080
Loc: Bergen, Norway
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: im too negative [Re: JameZTheNewbie]
    #2316855 - 02/09/04 07:13 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Quote:

JameZTheNewbie said:
whitsling men on crosses lol hur hur)



LOL, thats great!  :thumbup:  Dont you feel that feeling when you're not stoned anymore that you are finally "awake"?! :cool:


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Magic mushrooms are not addictive, the shroomery is!


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OfflineJameZTheNewbie
The Mahatma OfZalu

Registered: 05/24/02
Posts: 736
Loc: pass the gates of hell 2 ...
Last seen: 1 year, 10 months
Re: im too negative [Re: filthysock]
    #2316873 - 02/09/04 07:28 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

actualy ive taken breaks before and have felt more awake then but that break wasnt that long ago so maybe thats why...but its slowly coming into focus. every day i feel better just cause i realize the viscous cycle i subjected my self too.


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