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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Updated 2-7, I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More!
    #2272317 - 01/25/04 07:26 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hey all, i really need your advise on this one.

this requires a little background, so lets go back to last night.
last night 5 of my close friends, (well call them M, J, D, and E and i ate some mushies togeather. Now J is my best friend, and D and M are his brother and sister.

so while i was coming up, i went to another room to lay down and let my thoughts flow more freely. what i came across wasnt really new to me, but seen in a new light.

Twice in my life thus far i have missed great oportunites for love, to be with someone i truly cared about. i was always afraid that making a move would ruin the friendship we had. but in the end the holding back of my feelings destroyed our relationship, among other things.

i just layed there watching my life go by, and these oportunites passing me by. they were some painful memories. things that i regret to this day.

But i came to realise that i cannot take a back seat to life and love anymore, and that my failure to act on these feelings is going to leave me with nothing and no one.

So here is the current delema. I have feelings for M, but she is my best friends sister. i dont have that many friends, and well frankly i am afraid that if i make my feelings known to M that it might ruin J's and my friendship.

I am also afraid of rejection from M. i wory that if i make these feelings known to her, and she dosent feel the same way, that our friendship would be forever destroyed.

But i know that if i dont make these feelings known that it will just be another disapointment in life. A continuation of the cycle that has lost me so many friends and happiness in the past.

On top of all of this i am not sure if M feels the same way about me.

so what should i do? im really at a loss,

all i konw is that i cannot take a bckseat to life anymore and that this cycle has to stop.


thanks in advance


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


Edited by zippoz (02/07/04 01:40 PM)


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2272437 - 01/25/04 08:14 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

You said it yourself, your sick of not taking action.  So, go and take some!

good luck :cool:


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


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OfflineSlapnutRob
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Registered: 03/31/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: barfightlard]
    #2272713 - 01/25/04 10:10 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I just recently told a girl (Thursday night, in fact) who I really wanted how I felt about her, and she told me she had no romantic interest in me. It was devastating, especially since I thought she really did feel the same way. It still is a bummer, but I think I'm glad that I got it off my chest and found out how she felt. It's better than living with incertitude, and now I can move on.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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OfflineLlamanose
The llama knows

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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #2272744 - 01/25/04 10:24 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Way to go slapnut, even if things didn't turn out your way it's better to say you tried and she didn't feel the same way than to spend the rest of your life wondering what might've happened.


--------------------
Alice came to a fork in the road.  "Which road do I take?" she asked.
"Where do you want to go?" responded the Cheshire cat.
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
~Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland


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OfflinePhluck
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2274553 - 01/26/04 01:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

"I have feelings for M, but she is my best friends brother."

?????????


--------------------
"I have no valid complaint against hustlers. No rational bitch. But the act of selling is repulsive to me. I harbor a secret urge to whack a salesman in the face, crack his teeth and put red bumps around his eyes." -Hunter S Thompson
http://phluck.is-after.us


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: Phluck]
    #2274635 - 01/26/04 02:25 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Im jsut really worried that in expressing my feelings, i will loose my best friend.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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Anonymous #1

Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2275131 - 01/26/04 05:53 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

gains are only met by risk.

risk your friendship to gain a lover.

half doing it will leave you in the middle.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ]
    #2275321 - 01/26/04 06:51 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

true enough, thanks zero


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2282515 - 01/29/04 02:19 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

I thought that this may interest some of you,My emotional and intelectual Biorhythms were at a twin peak while i came across this decision. also the composite of these 2, wisdom was at its peak. one from which i am currently declining.

i havent told her yet, and i can feel my courage weakening each day that passes.


Edited by zippoz (01/29/04 02:29 AM)


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Offlinefung_us_among_us
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2282553 - 01/29/04 02:27 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

just hope her brother doesn't go scarface on yo ass.


--------------------
:feelsgoodman::dancingshroom::dancingshroom::dancingshroom::ahahaha::dancingshroom::dancingshroom::dancingshroom::feelsgoodman:


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Invisibleutopianglory
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Registered: 07/20/02
Posts: 965
Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2283387 - 01/29/04 11:43 AM (12 years, 10 months ago)

No best friend should have a problem with you being his sisters romantic interest anyway.  What does it say for his respect for you as a decent, honest person.. that some john smith is better for her than you are? 

I have a sister and I don't understand I could feel hostile to a friends intentions so much that it would ruin my friendship with him.. weird.

Now on to the subject of telling her.. I don't know whether outright is the best way to do it.  You might benefit from telling your friend and seeing whether he thinks you have a chance.  He can tell you much better than you can speculate and one way or another he's going to find out.  I think if you are worried about this situation with his reaction, then telling him with a view to getting information to him is the best strategic way of handling.  Plus telling him is a good warmup to the main event. :smile:


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
Posts: 13,227
Loc: Pongyang, North Korea
Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: utopianglory]
    #2283767 - 01/29/04 01:52 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

you see, i can understand where youre comming from on that.

however it has once been discusses, albeit he was rolling.
J and i were talking about soul mates, and he was talking about how he felt that he should be with K another girl we knew, and he said "its the same way with you and M"

this was like a year ago or somthing,

the thing is after my realisations saturday, i know that i have to do things in a new way, that the old way wasn't working. the old way would have been to tell people , Not M, and see what they thought. But what i have come to realise is that it dosent matter what the other people think. what matters is how i feel about M and asking a whole bunch of people what they think about it would probably just turn me away from my course of action E.G. telling her how i feel.

i have promised myself that i will do it before the weekend is over, i just want it to happen in a proper situation.


another thing. I am usually not an emotional person, i had some things in my past that have caused me to want to block off all bad feelings, which results in me being stuck in an emotional limbo, not being to happy or to sad. these last few days have been an awakening i have been on an emotional rollercoaster. And its good to be back, feeling, because for a while i wasnt.

Most of it was a fear of the lows, the sad points, but i have acepted that with the bad comes the good, the ying and the yang. I know that all things happen for a reason.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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InvisibleSlite
Lost in Life
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Registered: 11/03/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2287239 - 01/30/04 03:35 PM (12 years, 10 months ago)

Hmm I am in kinda the same situation, infact I was feeling just the same as you. I too decided that it was time for me to get my act together.

So Today I rung up this girl and asked her out next week, she said yes and I felt like the king of the world after I did. The problem (coincidentally) is that her bro is my best friend. I really need to get all this shit sorted. I don't want to fuck up my friendship with her bro but I can't just sit back and let her walk away.

Anyone else been in a similar situation? I'm hearing what your saying utopianglory, if he was my friend and trusted me he wouldn't mind I was going out with his sister and would trust me not to mess her about (which I'm not gonna do). I think I might ask her about it, I really hope this doesn't come down to him or her though...


--------------------
"You can either believe you can do something, or believe you can't.... either way your right"



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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any M [Re: Slite]
    #2292192 - 02/01/04 07:22 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I still havent told her. i was going to last night, and had the oportunity to do it, and i didnt. I just didnt have the courage to say it.

this whole situation is really keeping me awake at night, its hard to sleep. i just want to get it over with. and let what happens happen.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflineStrumpling
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2293147 - 02/02/04 04:04 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

"I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More!"

Well climb up there and grab the wheel!


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: Strumpling]
    #2293158 - 02/02/04 04:10 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

yes its so true. my best friend of many years is moving out of the state for a long time. i never really told him that he means alot to me untill tonight. and it hit me that i have to let these people in my life know how i feel.

for the first time in months i actually shed a tear.
i am awaking from the emotional deadlands that i feel safe and comfortable in.

just now, i wrote an e-mail to one of my other past best friends, (we arent talking at the moment beacuse of me basically) i told her that i was sorrry for being a bad friend. I went on to tell hoer how much she ment to me, and tha i would like her to be a part of my life again.

one can only hope that everything works out in the end.

As for M i still haven gotten the balls to tell her, and i feel my courage waining every day. i had the perect oportunity to tell her last night, but i didnt.

im somewhat glad i didnt, because i think that this needs to be aproached a little more carefully than i had planned on doing it.

oh well tomorrow, if it comes, is another day, and i have to be up in 4 hours to advance my knowledge


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflineSlapnutRob
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Registered: 03/31/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2294377 - 02/02/04 04:16 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Zippoz, read my post "Life Suddenly Turns into Hell." I wrote that after I told the girl how I felt (it took A LOT of balls), and was rejected.

It feels great to tell the girl how you feel, but in retrospect, I think I made a mistake. You may want to consider not doing that. I've been doing some studying and some thinking on dating, and I have come up with a couple conclusions. There are two things girls dig above all else, whether they know it or not: confidence and challenge.

No girls like guys without confidence and they don't like guys that they feel are pushovers. They like a sense of challenge and mystery. Test her interest level... does she call you? Does she touch you throughout the date? If so, you're onto something.... flirt with her, but don't call her every day and don't ask her to be your girlfriend. She will let you know in due time how she feels. Start asking her out frequently and you'll see where the relationship goes. You'll be able to tell how she feels and she'll definitely be able to pick up on how you feel.

This may not work in your situation, but I seriously feel like I made a mistake... not only may I have fucked up my chances with this girl who I really really want, but I may have made the friendship somewhat uncomfortable.

I really caught her off guard. I was driving her home after a movie and after trying to get it out the whole ride, and I waited before she was about to leave and said "Wait. I'm gonna kill myself if I don't tell you something. I really like you... I think about you all the time.... and I want to be with you."

She responded "In what way?" I'm STILL trying to figure out what the fuck that meant.

I answered "Would you be my girlfriend?" and she gave me some nonsense about being bad with relationships and not thinking now is the time. I subsequently received an e-mail telling me among other things "I'm just not interested in you romantically." Ouch!

It's taken me about a week, but I'm almost over her. I talked to her over the weekend, and asked her if she was free for tonight. She said she didn't know, so I asked her to call me and let me know. Up until tonight I've been calling her at least once every couple days... she probably expects me to call her... not this time. The way I see it, if she calls me, I still have a chance, and she just might not want a relationship right now. If a week goes by and she doesn't call, that means that she doesn't miss being around me and I might as well write her off as a love interest.

I hope this helps in some way.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.


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InvisibleZippoZM
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Registered: 06/17/03
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2311445 - 02/07/04 01:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

so last night i told her how i felt, and all she could say is, "you see the man im looking for...." and then she was too choked up to talk. I know that nothing can come of this imediately, but in time i feel that the situation will evolve to what it is ment to be. what that is, i dont know. but i have taken the drivers seat, and im lovin it. i would like to thank all of you for your help and advise on this matter, you have done nothing but help.


--------------------
PEACE

:mushroom2:zippoz:mushroom2:



"in times of widespread chaos and confusion, it has been the duty of more advanced human beings - artists, scientists, clowns, and philosophers - to create order. In such times as ours however, when there is too much order, too much m management, too much programming and control, it becomes the duty of superior men and women and women to fling their favorite monkey wrenches into the machinery. To relieve the repression of the human spirit, they must sow doubt and disruption"

"People do it every day, they talk to themselves ... they see themselves as they'd like to be, they don't have the courage you have, to just run with it."


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OfflineOook
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Registered: 08/19/03
Posts: 533
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Re: What Am I To Do? I Can't Take a Back Seat to Life any More! [Re: ZippoZ]
    #2311613 - 02/07/04 02:43 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

nice one dude, I set my sister up with one of my friends :smile:


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