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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Friendships
#5574995 - 04/30/06 07:08 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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My friend and I were discussing something last nite. Do you think there are some people that you just cannot get rid of in your life?
This question originated from a present experience of mine. I have a friend of 4 years (off and on friendship). The last time we spoke was about 6 months ago and I told her I couldn't do this anymore, the inconsistency of our relationship. Well, a lot has happened since then, and I feel the need to make contact. But there is this underlying feeling that I can't shake her, at least not forever. I'm not really looking for advice, because I know what I am going to do, but answers to the question at the beginning.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: Friendships [Re: demiu5]
#5575039 - 04/30/06 07:20 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Your post has risen a large reaction with in my soul and your gonna get a hard response................ready GO
NO YOU CAN NOT get rid of people in your life.........People are not trash. People are people and must be allowed to be people. If you think you can just get rid of people you can't deal with or people you can't control based on your expectations then your in for a rude time in life.
I must say your post really pissed me off so now some advice. I know you didn't want it but this is a public place.
Friendship or Relationships are not.....Expectations Friendship or Relationships are.........Acceptance
If you don't want someone in your life and they still hangs around. It is because your playing them like a child plays with a doll. I suggest that you tell this person you will never speak to them again and mean it. Don't play some petty game and then complain when the doll speaks back...............Ever seen the " Talking Tina " episode of the Twilight Zone ?
I can not take the inconstancy of your post............You want her out of your life but yet you feel the need to contact her again but you just...................Silly silly contradictions.
Maybe you should examine your real limitations of what relationships are and are not.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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I'm afraid you misunderstood my post. People come and people go in life, this is a fact; not all do, mind you, but many. This person doesn't still hang around. And by contacting this person I'm not looking for anything, I just need someone to relate to.
Sorry to be defensive about this, but like I stated in the first post, at the time when I told her this, I meant it. But I have had some very life changing and eye opening experiences during this time we have not been speaking. Things have changed, a lot. And she won't leave my mind alone, she still knows how to get in. Making contact will, hopefully, open the way for some of the issues to be resolved.
I do, however, understand what you're saying and went through another experience which pertains to your expectations/acceptance statement.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: Friendships [Re: demiu5]
#5575098 - 04/30/06 07:39 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Quote:
demius said: I'm afraid you misunderstood my post. People come and people go in life, this is a fact; not all do, mind you, but many. This person doesn't still hang around. And by contacting this person I'm not looking for anything, I just need someone to relate to.
Sorry to be defensive about this, but like I stated in the first post, at the time when I told her this, I meant it. But I have had some very life changing and eye opening experiences during this time we have not been speaking. Things have changed, a lot. And she won't leave my mind alone, she still knows how to get in. Making contact will, hopefully, open the way for some of the issues to be resolved.
I do, however, understand what you're saying and went through another experience which pertains to your expectations/acceptance statement.
Here I quoted this for you..........READ IT 
Do you think this this person who said this is really being honest with themselves ? I think this person is in love and is confused about it. This person is full of serious conflict. IF this person truly wants out of this relationship that the confusion would be insignificant.
Why would you want to relate to a person you don't want to hang around with ? I think you should take some time a reread your posts and see the ridiculous double sidedness of it all.
Please understand I am not trying to get in a arguement with you I just see a huge hole in your thinking
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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I never said I didn't want to hang out with this person, but I'm not expecting it to happen. Hell, I'm not even expecting this person to pick up the phone, talk to me, etc. Being in love has nothing to do with this. Maybe because I've seen my mom and other people much older than myself wish they still had those few friends who meant so much to them.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: Friendships [Re: demiu5]
#5575173 - 04/30/06 08:03 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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Well I am gonna be 40 years very soon and I can tell you that friendships are all that life has to offer.......there is nothing else. I also have a few regrets about some friendships over the past 20 years that have been fucked up. I can tell you the common denominator with all my failed relatioships..............Expectaions.
No way can all friendships last the test of time and some just eat at us forever..............we wish they would have worked out. That is just part of life.
I think I understand your first point a little better.
DO I wish I could just put the past failed friendships away in some drawer that i never have to feel again ?
No............These experiences are what bring me to better friendships and better acceptance of those around me
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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demiu5
humans, lol


Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
Loc: the popcorn stadium
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Generally, learning is best done through mistakes, at least learning things about life. I just don't want this to become (or stay) one of this mistakes. This could easily become one of them. Thank you for your input.
-------------------- channel your inner Larry David
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Fucknuckle
Dog Lover

Registered: 04/24/04
Posts: 6,762
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Re: Friendships [Re: demiu5]
#5575188 - 04/30/06 08:13 PM (17 years, 8 months ago) |
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One last input....................If you truly care about this friendship then stay in touch with her, with time and maturity you will save this thing which you obviously wish would work out. Sounds to me like you are really wanting to work it out. I would do just that. Forgiveness is the key.humble yourself and forgive the bad. That is the truth of love, friendships and life. Humility, forgiveness and acceptance
-------------------- What it is, is what it is my Brother. It is as it is, so suffer thru it.
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