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How to deal with jealousy
    #21630846 -

Hi guys. I used to get such good advices on common stuff here, (besides psychedelics) so I'm gonna post again about something I'm really caring about.

I love my girl, and I sometimes just get too jealous it makes me sad. I think it may just be a low self-esteem on my part. But I dont consider myself the 'best guy' in the world, you know. I'm awesome but there's always the fear the someone better comes in. You know what im talking about?

I cannot trust myself 100%, so I cannot trust her either in a total way.

This post comes from a situation I had last night, we were at a celtic festival, both of us drunk , dancing like crazy, and all our friends too, and there was this guy with long hair and naked chest (cant remember if he was good looking, but he was very fucked up too and such a guy I think MIGHT appear sexy to some girls, i mean we dont need much to get horny, they probably dont either). So this guy was nearby us and he was pointing the finger at everyone, being funny and we laughed at/with him. Then later on I saw he was dancing with my girl, and cant remember exactly but she was probably kind having fun with it. She is a very social girl and loves to have fun. I just couldnt stand the sight and went to her straight away and just like pushed him away and took her by the hands and danced a little with her just to get him off. (Not that I wasnt dancing with her earlier also, just leaving her dance by herself with all our friends too).

So this situation still bugs me hard. Makes me nervous just thinking about her having fun with the guy and my mind runs to the worst places... like her getting away with him with the weirdest excuses or in secret. Maybe it's just I dont trust her totally.

what do you think? :mad2:


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Edited by Hiei (05/03/15 04:41 PM)

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21630866 -

sounds like your pretty insecure man, you should learn to chill out


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https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/25598736

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21630875 -

i think when drugs are involved, especially mind numbing ones it should be ok to step in to prevent ur peers from making some regrettable decisions..


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21630883 -

hey hiei.

first off, theres two reasons why you wouldn't trust your partner.

a) youre projecting (i.e youre a cheater/don't trust yourself which in turns makes you suspicious of THEM being a cheater/untrustworthy

b) you have no self esteem

it really is as simple as that. there are healthy forms of jealousy. ways of showing the person that you are ride or die, and possess loyalty. however, theres a very fine line to cross, where youre now hovering in the crazy zone.

in the end, jealousy issues all lead back to YOU. if your partner is going to cheat, theyre going to cheat, and no amount of control you exert is going to change that. the sooner you accept that you only have control over your own actions, the better off youll be.

self esteem tells you that other people are more desirable than you are, and you can see why/how your partner would cheat on you. if youre confident in who you are and what you can offer, your trust issues will begin to alleviate, because then youll think "theyd be a fuckin DUMMY to cheat on me."

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21630904 -

wait, you were the one that took her home and banged her right?

wheres the jealousy?

you shit on some dudes dream.. i fail to see an issue.


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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: rackem]
    #21630913 -

You gotta keep ur women on a short leash or they'll run off quick. It's like someone here said in a thread they recently made, women don't really know what they want, they expect u to let them know n shit.


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: m4dScientist]
    #21630953 -

Yeah thats what I usually think, where's the issue. She came home with me, of course. :smile:

It's... I dont trust her in a chaotic situation. I dont trust me neither. i think a good amount of alcohol and a funny chest-naked good looking guy can make a girl do something she can regret later, coz it's the same with me when I'm out of my mind with a hot girl trying to suck my dick. I'm not sure I could say no. I'm speaking generally about girls here coz I am not sure about her, she could be the most loyal girl and may stand whatever chaotic situation without letting her vagina take control. I have some self-esteem issue about my body most of all. She is very athletic, likes extreme sports, does wakeboard. Her ex was a well muscled guy and a canyoning guide. While I'm just quite skinny in proportion, not too much but neither I am thick.

So I guess it's a combination of the two. I'm just sad and mad altogether coz I really *CANT STAND* the thought that she might let her horny and "here and now" part be in control over the more conscious and loving part that would do me no harm.

But it's quite the same for me. I stay away from such risky situations coz I'm afraid I could do a big big mistake. I just dont trust anyone totally on this matter, we know too well we can quite easily lose our minds and just let the instinctive/animal part of ourselves in control do whatever it wants....

I mean what would you do seeing your (drunk) girl dancing and having fun with a guy you consider might look hot to her. ! makes me mad ! :smile:

at the end of the day we love each other so much and we can trust each other too. She is amazing. I know this. I'ts just my mind trying to pull me down sometimes.... :rolleyes: 


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Edited by Hiei (05/03/15 05:20 PM)

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21630984 -

hey bud.

let go man. youre "sad and mad" because you cant stand the THOUGHT of her possibly cheating on you. but really think about what you just said. youre all worked up over a THOUGHT. A THOUGHT!!!!! and one that you've created. has she ever been unfaithful? if the answer is no, you have no reason to project your own insecurities onto her.

some people in this world pride themselves on loyalty homie. ive cheated myself, so ive never quite understood that concept, but people can overcome their sexual desires simply by remembering the bond that you two share. not everyone is a cheater, n not everyone would drop their pants if the situation presented itself.

anyhow, no offense to you or the chick youre dating, but i like to believe that the chick im dating wouldn't be dancing with another guy if the opportunity presented itself, ESPECIALLY if she was there with me. but, we all like to think things like that :lol:

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: m4dScientist]
    #21631030 -

Yeah i pride myself on loyalty. I'm happy when I see myself being loyal, of course. And would be the first to feel bad if I wasnt. :smile:

Anyway, we were dancing celtic music, it's most about jumping and turning around and not much body contact. And the guy was really fucked up so I GUESS he just took her hands and jumped to the folk music. She told me later he was trying to put his arm behind her to do a "caschè", dunno how you say in english. it's when she goes back leaning on your arm behind her back. Quite a romantic thing to do, and she was happy I got in between.

what bugs me also is, why should she be happy about my interruption if she was just having fun and being loyal, sounds to my masochistic mind that she was happy because she was afraid she'd do a mistake, and she was attracted to him. But then again I'm thinking too much definitely.


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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Connoisseur]
    #21631045 -

no one wants a mommy or daddy as there bf/gf


you seem controlling and way to insecure lol
you also dont seem to trust her


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:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21631059 -

:nojustno:

chill my man, chill.

youre contradicting yourself a little bit, but its all good. you said you pride yourself on loyalty, but in a previous post, you said you don't really trust yourself in a sexually charged situation with someone other than your girlfriend, so you in fact DONT pride yourself on loyalty :lol: maybe in some areas in life, im not doubting that, but romantically, theres definitely some issues.

like i said earlier, if people are gonna cheat, theyre gonna cheat. trying to control anothers actions and overanalyzing the possible hypotheticals isn't going to get you anywhere. you just have to let go. i believe that everyone should be trusted until they do something untrustworthy. give her the benefit of the doubt, you guys were fucked up, at some celtic festival, and some dude snatched her up while you were off doing something else. but at the end of the day, nothing happened, and you two left together, unscathed by the drunken celts.

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: SunnyD]
    #21631068 -

Daddyzomed said:
no one wants a mommy or daddy as there bf/gf


you seem controlling and way to insecure lol
you also dont seem to trust her


do u even read the posts bro??...


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21631069 -

Don't Be Jealous.

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Village-idiot]
    #21631074 -

it's not really legit jealousy tho cuz they were both inebriated and incapable of making wise decisions..


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21631126 -

if you were a girl, would you have banged the long haired, shirtless man?

it's not gay if you say yes, so don't worry about ppl thinking you're gay
because you're clearly not gay, you have a girlfriend


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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation?
MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: zZZz]
    #21631140 -

^I dont know man. Maybe so. Maybe not. I think a naked body makes everyone more or less horny. whats the point. I saw at least 100 girls I would have banged at the festival, but think it's not worth what I'd lose.


I fuckin hate that guy. He was trying to steal my girl.

"I wanna rip his head off and smash the fuck of it and give his bloody guts to the dogs. "

this is the emotion I should have expressed right away and did not, and it's what is causing me pain I guess. It was growing inside of me because I didnt express it. and was getting bigger and eating me out.

Now I will need to get myself tired tomorrow and let all this negativity out of my body.


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Edited by Hiei (05/03/15 06:06 PM)

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Hiei]
    #21631150 -

wow dude if your really that mad at the dude your a lot more insecure then I initially thought


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https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/25598736

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: Connoisseur]
    #21631158 -

very bad vibes coming out of that guy. I swear. He had not a gentle way of doing anything he was doing. He was weird in a bad way. Maybe just too fucked up...


anyway, thanks for all the replies. I'm off to bed now. Dead tired..........


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Edited by Hiei (05/03/15 06:11 PM)

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: zZZz]
    #21631171 -

yeah

his gf was dancing with a guy casually
and he freaked out over someone dancing


--------------------
:sunny::inlove::peyotespectrum::peyotespectrum::inlove::sunny:
And to everyone who thinks life is just a game,
Do you like the part you are playing?
This is the time in life I am living!
And I face each day with a smile :smile:
My music Library of Synthesizer goodness

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Re: How to deal with jealousy [Re: SunnyD]
    #21631656 -

i meant like all the posts from the thread..

cuz lately i've been seeing the same old responses from u man, like ur always like just pointing out the obvious.. i am no better, but i know u can do better than that..


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https://discord.gg/NHHd5y2Uyv

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