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A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories
    #19419892 -

I'm 30 and eat relatively healthy with plenty of fiber, but I guess it was only a matter of time since three-quarters of people get hemorrhoids...

And I thought it was <i>a little</i> embarrassing getting witch hazel wipes. After a few days of medicated asswipes and insufficient relief, the discomfort motivated me enough to consider actually using the butt drugs.

Remember <a href="https://www.mind-media.com/go.php?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Olestra" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">olestra</a>? This fat substitute was used in delicacies like potato chips to make a healthier potato chip, where the fat passed undigested through the GI tract.

The problem with undigested fat is, the rectum isn't really designed for this. <a href="https://www.mind-media.com/go.php?http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steatorrhoea" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Steatorrhea</a> is a condition of excess fats in poo, sometimes leading to anal leakage and fecal incontinence. <b>That's right, consuming a whole bag of chips with original olestra leads to anal leakage</b>, among other problems.

I mention this because preparation H and generic suppositories are <i>over half cocoa butter</i>, a vegetable fat extracted from cocoa beans that soothes a hemorrhoid-affected rectum, and... do you see where this is going?

I realized something was amiss with a foul scent, and my over-sensitive nose led me to discover the pants I wore yesterday smelled like shit. I'd soon discover this was the least of my worries.

I was just about ready to leave today and the combination of fruits and juices of fruits and greens I've been consuming in high quantity were taking their toll. What sounded and felt like a perfectly normal dry fart, was soon felt as a cooling liquid sensation in my underwear, much to my dismay.

Being one to be very conscientious of bodily odors, I had to check, and <i>oh shit</i> - I actually crapped(?) my pants with some suppository goop and <b>MY GOD THE STENCH</b>. It smelled ROTTEN and immediately confirmed my fears - that I had been phantom farting all day yesterday and unbeknownst to me at the time, soiling myself unintentionally with the most foul-smelling liquid as I actually <i>wasn't busting ass at all</i>.

Having somewhere to be, I quickly cleaned up with some wet wipes making sure to remove the odoriferous, liquefied remains of the suppository, changing into new undies. I then went to put on my shoes, sitting down to do so when I had this feeling (probably OCD) that I need to check again - for fuck's sake, the stink!

A second set of boxers later, I was on my way to meet with a group of people. I still had so much gas but kept my asshole clenched like my self-esteem depended on it. I ceased use of the suppositories, and haven't had this happen again, but felt you should know my story.

Having never had any incontinence problems before, I am thinking the fatty constituents of hemorrhoid suppositories can have an olestra-like effect, in unintentionally releasing the most vile-smelling seepage and potentially causing an embarrassingly stinky circumstance. I'd go so far as to say the feces dissolved in cocoa butter smells worse than just plain shit.

So I might recommend: Avoid hemorrhoid suppositories at all costs.

Edited by poke smot! (09/07/20 03:36 PM)

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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories [Re: poke smot!]
    #19421780 -

i once shit my pants when i was black out drunk....

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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories *DELETED* [Re: EdibleStereos]
    #19430015 -

Post deleted by Anonymous

Reason for deletion: x


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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #19430155 -

I have hemorrhoids.  They just developed this year.  Drinking heavily REALLY flares it up.  I think it's the obscene stress level I've been enduring the past year that brought them on.  If I minimize drinking, eating a ton of nuts, and try and minimize my stress, they really aren't that bothersome.


--------------------


"plus they atually think jambands are good or sumthing, so they clearly know absolutely nothing about music, clearly lol" -Bassfreak

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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories [Re: All We Perceive]
    #19433318 -

ive probably had 3-5 throughout my life.  i'm 27.  horribly uncomfortable, but i never use any creams or ointments for them.  I just avoid sitting flat (bend a leg back under your butt or other leg), spend a lot of time reading while laying on my stomach, and generaly avoid leaving my apartment until they're gone.

worst part of hem's is trying to whipe your ass.  shit is so rough.  especially the internal hems

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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories *DELETED* [Re: memes]
    #19468300 -

Post deleted by poke smot!

Reason for deletion: x


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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories [Re: poke smot!]
    #19468402 -

you feel your pulse becuase the 'roid is a popped vessel.  at least, i think the 'roids are popped sphincter vessels.

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Re: A warning about hemorrhoid suppositories [Re: memes]
    #19473558 -

I've been caught out twice in my life and accidentally sharted.

1) Was saying goodbye to the GF and tried to let out a silent one. Mistake.  Had to hurry her out and tend the mess.

2) Very recently I had violent gas, sat on the sofa before bed I let out a lil fart and instantly knew something was wrong. It was immediately followed by a race to the toilet where my guts fell out my arse.


It happens. In all other respects I'm perfectly healthy but the very occasional mess is no doubt more common than people will ever let on.

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