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I honestly feel like a super weak person and am convinced half the time I cause it myself

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your not weak at all for being depressed. sadness/misery part of life and you can't know what true joy, happiness is without it. and on the contrary, i would say you have to be strong to be able to deal with negative feelings when it's the natural human tendency to run away from them.

as for causing it yourself, it may be to a degree. you may be doing self-defeating behaviors that keep you from getting past it, but even that may not be totally in control. for instance, my self-defeating behaviors is largely a result from self esteem and from having been comfortable being depressed since i have been for so long, and it has only recently been getting under control since seeing a clinical psychologist.