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OfflineHeliosphan
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Registered: 05/01/01
Posts: 44
Loc: lapland
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
when is suicide an answer?
    #1556988 - 05/17/03 11:52 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

for as long as i can remember i remember having suicide on my mind. at least since the age of 6 or so. im 20 now and it has gotten worse, taking up a large amount of time of my life thinking about it. the thing is it comforts me to think about it but also pains and annoys me to not think normally and to think about it constantly. so im sort of stuck. i even went out and bought a shotgun not too long ago to see if i could stop thinking about it. i figured, if i was really serious than id either stop being a pussy and do it or just look at the gun every time i was 'serious' to remind myself that im never proactive in my decisions.

also, i find that lately im just becoming more and more apathetic about most everything. even eating and crying. this sort of helps because again, im too apathetic to do anything about any problems like actually end them. also another reason i havent done anything is because im scared of reincarnation or what happens after death, so im not that far gone from reality or anything. im sorry if this is a wierd thread to make i just dont know how to get the strenght to either go on with life or go on with death. i just feel stuck. thanks for listening.


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OfflineSombie
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Registered: 12/07/02
Posts: 2,643
Loc: Stafford, Virginia
Last seen: 7 years, 11 days
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1557006 - 05/17/03 11:58 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

You should call or talk to someone, This message board is great but when it comes to issues like your life, you should seek someone you know's help.


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OfflinepB0t
Generic Shroomery Member
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Registered: 04/25/03
Posts: 2,556
Loc: San Francisco, CA
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1557104 - 05/18/03 12:38 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Quote:

for as long as i can remember i remember having suicide on my mind. at least since the age of 6 or so. im 20 now and it has gotten worse, taking up a large amount of time of my life thinking about it. the thing is it comforts me to think about it but also pains and annoys me to not think normally and to think about it constantly. so im sort of stuck.




You sound exactly like me. I thought about suicide my whole life as well. I don't think I would ever go through with it, but I have had two close calls. My advice is to see a doctor about it. This is what I would do if I had the courage and opportunity. Like you I feel stuck, life seems pointless but I can't end it. I just go on feeling awful a lot of the time, thinking about death, making plans I never go through with.

I think what you (and probably I) need to do is learn to enjoy life, learn to be happy. If you can, see a doctor. Depression is supposed to be very treatable.

~pB0t

PS: I never thought I'd post what I just did, but what you wrote was exactly what I'm going through. Just had to say it. Anyway...


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yageman said:
Dumb kids shouldnt even worry about trying salvia.

Dumb adults might want to give it a shot though.


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Anonymous #1

Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1557119 - 05/18/03 12:57 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

there is nothing wrong with lamenting about suicide... sometimes there is nothing to actually live for, BUT... and a big but...do not go through with it. the point being that there is no rational reason why...live through this desire of killing yourself just like everyone else lives their desires.. such as getting a meangingless job and devoting their life to nothing, this and suicide are both equally pointless, but no reason for suicide. life isn't about happy feelings all the time, and those that think it is are delusional fools.

bottomline... change your thinking about killing yourself, or don't let it motivate you to actually do it.


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InvisibleWorld Spirit
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Registered: 07/27/01
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Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1557128 - 05/18/03 01:03 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Deleted by admin


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OfflineHeliosphan
newbie
Registered: 05/01/01
Posts: 44
Loc: lapland
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: ]
    #1557142 - 05/18/03 01:18 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

thanks for your replies! i hope this can help other people in similar situaions. id like to say also, that ive pretty much always known i would go through with this. its always just been an answer of when. and now i feel that the time is coming nearer so i have no choice but to be scared. but now i realize that i should have done it a long time ago even if only 2 years ago when i first could get a gun. theres no reason to hurt people around you constantly or yourself for that matter. sometimes you have to give in to get anything in return i think. also for the most part im not really depressed about anything(just sort of in general) i just see killing yourself as another thing to do. like going on a vacation. who knows maybe it will make someone laugh and make them happy. well thanks again.


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OfflineDreamer987
The VerbalHerman Munster
Female

Registered: 04/15/03
Posts: 5,326
Loc: Texas
Last seen: 9 years, 2 months
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1557258 - 05/18/03 03:10 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Dude you obviousley are a very unhappy person, whether you want to admit that or not. I have been diagnosed with severe depression, and have contemplated suicide alot in the past. You really should try to get yourself some help. Talk to a shrink. Try some anti-depresants. I have taken zoloft prozac and celexa. I find celexa to help alot while still maintaining my emotions while the others tended to zombie me out abit.
The main thing to realize that while life is very hard at times, it is a wonderful gift and is worth living every minute. No matter what you may have done in the past or your image of yourself you are a special, and uniqe person. YOUR LIFE IS IN YOUR CONTROL. Take things one day at a time, and focus on the good things, and the buety in the world. Because it is filled with buety if you open your eyes.

Suicide is taking the easy way out. While It may make things easyer on you. IMAGINE HOW YOUR LOVED ONES WILL FEEL WHEN YOUR GONE. You might convince yourself that it might be easyer on them, but it won't be. It will leave a deep scar in them that will never go away.
I hope you can learn to enjoy your life. Peace be with you


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OfflineFallenShroom
Shagadelic

Registered: 05/01/03
Posts: 879
Last seen: 9 years, 2 days
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Dreamer987]
    #1557627 - 05/18/03 12:54 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Do as I did confront your problems no matter how bad they are and deal with them I would say death is worse then the problems that you may have and also the enjoyments in your life as there are still more to come problems that build and fester and not confronted are leading cause of suicide there are many people who can help stay here in this plateau


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OfflineJazzMatazz
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Registered: 09/07/02
Posts: 770
Loc: Vienna, Austria
Last seen: 2 years, 4 months
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: FallenShroom]
    #1560257 - 05/19/03 04:09 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Didnt read the above, so sorry for double posting , if something has already been said.

If you ask me suicide is legitimate if you have nothing else to do in life, and if you consider life not being able to way out positively for you.
On the other hand, it is in the human nature to sustain alive. Therefore I suppose you have some kind of psychic problem. If you dont know what it is try to find it.
Do you have hobbies, or aims in life? Or do you just live day by day, not knowing why? If so try and make something out of life! Join a club, find friends , which are worth hanging out with, etc... (Collect fucking stamps, if you like!!! )
It would also be interessting how much you toke (if you do). I see a lot of friends (including myself) being very low on motivation, cause of "da herb".
Hope I helped, so you help yourself!

Oh, and think carefully: Once your dead, you cant come back. (Or at least Im not sure of that)



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Perception is limited to consciousness.Expand it and unfold other realities.


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OfflineMarkostheGnostic
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Registered: 12/10/99
Posts: 12,832
Loc: South Florida
Last seen: 2 hours, 10 minutes
Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: JazzMatazz]
    #1561090 - 05/19/03 08:38 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Suicide is not an answer, it is a choice. On 9/11, many individuals found themselves with the immediate need to decide whether to burn alive in a river of jet fuel, or hurl themselves from the dying skyscraper. Unless you are confronted by an unspeakable horror such as that, you have no right to consider the murder of yourself. Suicide is a permanent condition, whereas your obsessive-compulsive thoughts  and/or clinical depression are both treatable with psychoactive medication and psychotherapy.

Suicide is counted as murder by the high religions of the world - a gross violation of ethics and morals, and a terrible tragedy especially, if, as the Buddhists say, a birth taken as a human is a rare and wonderful opportunity to become Enlightened. If you grasped the truth of this, you wouldn't indulge in your morbid thoughts, but find help to transcend them and get on with the purpose for your human existence.

I work with adolescents who routinely wallow in self-pity, repeatedly cut themselves and/or take pills. There seems to be an epidemic of this (apparently, even among late adolescents), like other mass movements of madness that have occurred in other times and places (possessions,  end-of-the-world panics, fundamentalist beliefs, etc.) Their excuse is ignorance that life has purpose, so they live in the Pleasure Principle, and when it is thwarted, they turn their frustration inward. I'm a clinician, but I swear I want to slap some of them silly - in a compassionate Zen-like, awakening way of course :smile:  As to your predicament - go look for a therapist that you like. Ask people, or interview some over the phone to see how liberal they might be to your views, like shrooming. I for one would not freak out at this, and there are other therapists who understand. Maybe stay away from country-club Republican type therapists - but seek some assistance for crying out loud. 


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γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself


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Invisiblesilversoul7
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Posts: 27,301
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Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: Heliosphan]
    #1561741 - 05/19/03 11:56 PM (13 years, 10 months ago)

Suicide should never be done as a response to depression or tragic events in one's life. However, I believe in the Japanese concept of Hari Kari. If I was a soldier about to be captured, tortured, and killed, I would shoot myself in the head rather than subject myself to such treatment. Also, I believe in Euthanasia for the terminally ill.


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"It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong."--Voltaire


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Anonymous #1

Re: when is suicide an answer? [Re: silversoul7]
    #1561926 - 05/20/03 01:04 AM (13 years, 10 months ago)

I pm'ed you. I hope it helps. People like us need to stick together and talk. Alot of the people here have helped me alot and I hope they can help you too.

feel free to pm me.

peace

zerohero


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