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Anonymous #1

Complitating Suicide
    #2958195 - 08/02/04 11:58 PM (12 years, 4 months ago)

i am thinking about commiting suicide really bad and i am extremely depressed. there are 3 reasons why and they are major

1. My 3 best friends have gotten into that shitty ass Kottonmouth King crap. They think there the best and all as they talk about is legalizing weed and fuck every1 else who doesnd like them. I honestly dont like the Kottonmouth Kings but my friends are "hypnotyzed" by them. Now i always wear a hemp jamacian hat and hemp neclaces from my dead shows. Now they make fun of my being a "dirty hippy" and a "Brain dead head". They make me feel so terrible its not even funny.

2. Every single person i think i have a chance with fucking doesnt like me and decides to never do anything with me...at all. They dont want to give me a chance or anything. Now a lot of people say im "hot" and "sexy" and stuff, but they would never want to do anything with me. I guess ive got a reputation of bieng a druggy or a drugaddict (which im not). I mean ive only done shrooms 6 times and smoked pot about 10. I take anti-depressents every day of my life to keep me goin and happy. There not working. They just make it worse and worse.

3. My parents get in fights alot and take it all out on me. I mean they scream at me, take it out on me (slap me, punch me, throw shit at me, ect.) I dont wanna call services because my relatives will beat the shit out of me for calling it on them.

Overall i am looking into shooting up with heroin because i heard it helps with depression. I no I quit it but im thinkin about huffin gas too. I m soo tempted to go into our medicine cabinet and take 6 sleeping pills and drink a bottle of whiskey. I honestly need help. BAD!

Someone please pose and give me suggestions. Like im a strong dude and im broken down in tears right now, i cant even move.


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OfflineSigno
manamana
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Registered: 03/05/02
Posts: 1,949
Loc: Purple Haze
Last seen: 9 years, 8 months
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958212 - 08/03/04 12:07 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Man, you gotta take care of yourself right now. Don't hurt yourself. If your medication isn't working, then you need to go to the doctor. Have you seen a psychiatrist or therapist? It sounds like no one will listen to you and you need to talk to someone. If you are desperate right now, please call a suicide hotline.


--------------------


Correlation is not causation!


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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: Signo]
    #2958231 - 08/03/04 12:13 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

dude u dont have any idea how bad i have it too, i m takin a piss drug test tommorow and i have opium in my system from eating a jar of poppyseeds. Im gonna fucking get sliced up with a knife by my paretns. THere is nobody i can turn to and i dont want to bother with suicide hotline shit. I just need somebody. u guys are really friendly around here and i figured i could count on you guys


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OfflineSigno
manamana
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Registered: 03/05/02
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Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958262 - 08/03/04 12:19 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

I'm glad you are at least seeking help here, but this message board will not be enough for you to overcome your depression. Please seek someone out who you can talk to. Your parents would rather you have opium in your system than you dead.


--------------------


Correlation is not causation!


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InvisibleGnuBobo
Frilly Cuffs Extraordinaire
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Registered: 06/17/04
Posts: 43,754
Loc: Charisma
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958278 - 08/03/04 12:24 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Man, I 've got severe depression. I was really close to killing myself this spring. I had a shotgun in my mouth.
It's hard to even think about feeling better when you're depressed, but you can and will get better. Give yourself some time. See the doc, change your meds.
It's a chemical imbalance in your head. It sucks. And it makes you feel like ass. But there are ways to fight it. Hold on dude. Things can get sorted.
Look out for yourself right now. Don't worry about all that other shit. And yeah, call your doc. Or the psych unit at the hospital, and tell them to call back and ask for your mom or dad, so they know it's serious.
Hope you feel better soon. Good luck dude.

GB


--------------------
Jerry Garcia. JERRY GARCIA! JERRY GARCIA!!!!


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Offlinesensi
member

Registered: 11/13/03
Posts: 161
Loc: MushroOmKingdoM
Last seen: 12 years, 1 month
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958279 - 08/03/04 12:24 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

first of all how old are you/ im not gonna flame u for being under 18 like the other FAGS... next get angry, then turn that into positive energy,constructive. life is like clay, you give it, its form...it can be disaterous or beautiful. trust me it can be overwhelmingly beautiful, you create this beauty. so if ur family is fucking shit up for you fuck them, retaliate, stand ground and dont let them fuck up your life... if anything ull live an ass life for a year or two more then all the sudden ull bloom ur wings and become a beautiful free dragonfly

much love


--------------------
Live in your own reality. Sorround yourself with positivity while being aware of the darkness. The heaven so many people are in search of is much closer than they believe. Its a state of mind. Its not about reaching a destination becuase there is no destination, its an infinite, exponential journey.


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InvisibleDoctorJ
Stranger
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Registered: 06/30/03
Posts: 8,451
Loc: space
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958282 - 08/03/04 12:26 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

seek professional help. My advice is maybe to see a psychologist in addition to a psychiatrist, because obviously drugs alone arent working for you and psychiatrists arent reknowned for their ability to just talk to people. And sometimes thats all people need. Anyway, its obvious to me that the psych industry has not done well by you and you should be demanding more from them. Go see your doctor and make him really talk to you. Be as accurate as possible in describing your symptoms so he can make as accurate a diagnosis as possible, and make the appropriate prescription. Most of all, make sure he is dealing with you personally and not just treating you like a number. Some doctors get desensitized over the years and lose passion for their work, becoming much less proficient doctors in doing so.

As for your specific concerns, I would say most of them are situational in nature. It sounds like you got a few bad situations going on, and your mind is making them even worse. Try to realize that these situations are not all there is to life. They are not eternal and permenant; they can be improved upon. You are a very powerful entity, and you can use your power to change your situation. If you work hard and apply yourself, you can move out of your parents house, make new friends, and find the right girl for you.

It is possible. Even if shit isnt going well right this hot minute, realize that it will not be like that forever. The only thing thats holding you back is yourself. Take all that energy you're wasting feeling sorry for yourself and instead apply it towards getting into a situation in which you dont have to feel sorry for yourself.

Realize that life is like a movie, and it has sad parts and happy parts. Imagine if you were watching a movie, and in the first 30 minutes of the movie, something really sad happened and you left the theatre. But in leaving the theatre out of sadness, you miss the rest of the movie and never get to see the happy ending. What a waste, what a shame. Please, stick with this one. I promise you that if you keep hope alive and work hard, there will be a happy ending for you. But you'll never get a chance to see it, never understand the reason for the suffering, if you decide to end it now. You've come this far; why not go further? Life could get a lot better, you sound pretty young and I bet you havent even seen half of what life has to offer.

Why would you sacrifice the chance to have the best of the best just because you're in the pits right now? You cant have honey without bee stings, man. Endure this in good faith and I promise things will get better if you commit yourself to making them so.


--------------------
peace, pot, and microdot!


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958347 - 08/03/04 12:40 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Oh Gawk, I'm so sorry to hear that you are feeling so badly.  I know how it feels to be at that level of desperation in life.  But you know what?  I think that it is especially strong of you to reach out.  :heart: Now that you've spoken about your feelings with us here at the Shroomery, it is time to talk with a doctor or someone who can help keep you safe.  It's a big step to admit you need help, but a psychiatrist will help you balance your meds so that it is easier for you to cope with things. 

You have a place in this world, a purpose, a path on the golden rainbow fabric of life.  Just the other day you made my morning by what you posted in my thread here in Support, and it is amazing to think of the hundreds of thousands of people you could impact for the better in the future.  We all need a little help every now and then, and there is absolutely no shame asking for it.  :heart:

The best part of life is that change is happening all around us.  The potential for us in each of our lives is staggering.  There are so many options, so many opportunities that each of us can take.  I know how depression seems to narrow those possibilities, but it is merely an illusion.  You are a strong, unique and wonderful person, and change is always on the horizon if you choose to walk towards it and take matters into your own hands.  This means taking that step with a psychiatrist, who only wants to help you!  This means finding a safer place to live for awhile, or having the strength to call services.  You *deserve* to be happy.  There are people in the world who are willing to help you. 

This also means finding that steely determination hidden amongst the dark tatters of depression and nurturing it, helping it grow!  This means that you have the power to help yourself, if you but find the courage and take the chance!

Believe in yourself...stay strong.  :heart:

I'm thinking of you


love,

*me*


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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958518 - 08/03/04 01:28 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

i have been crying for 5 hours strsight now....i can barley read it from all the tears in my eyes but i thank an love all of you for your support. i hate doctors and cops because they make me nervous, i ont wannt to be turned in or any shti like that. if i dont get a hug or some kind of loving from somebody who is actually my friend, i think my body is pretty much gonna shut down and im gonna die a natural cauyse. i love you all. your help and supprot is very appreciated. i hope everything will turn out good and everything will be better siin

peacew
((gAwK))


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Offlinethearmedforces
Disco Shroomerat 4:20

Registered: 05/02/04
Posts: 256
Loc: Atlanta, GA
Last seen: 11 years, 5 months
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958549 - 08/03/04 01:37 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

It's ok Gawk. You'll be alright. I mean these are problems that pass when you are fairly young. How old are you? That will give us better insight to the problem.


--------------------

"It is only those who do nothing who make no mistakes."
-Peter Kropotkin



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OfflineGumbyM
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Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958578 - 08/03/04 01:45 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Gawk man, don't lose hope. Things will get better. Is it at all possible that you can move out of your house and in with a friend for a little while?

A friend of mine has the same thing going on. They live in a place that they absolutely hate and that constantly has them down. It creates sort of a snowball effect. You think about how much you hate your living situation and then that develops into thinking about other things that make you unhappy and the depression just gets deeper and deeper.

The best way to change things up is move out. I'm sure that once my friend goes back to school things will be almost 100% better. Perhaps it's the same for you. If you are underage and are graduating highschool soon, you've got college to look forward to.

Your life isn't that bad man. I know plenty of people who have it MUCH worse than you do and they don't view suicide as an option. Things will get better, it just takes time and effort. Get out and do things. Get a job, try to meet new people. The best way to overcome depression is to drown it out by keeping your self busy with other activities.

Don't forget to stay hydrated and eat. If you don't eat your blood sugar levels will drop and that will make the depression even worse.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: thearmedforces]
    #2958619 - 08/03/04 01:59 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

if u flame me about this you are the most heartless basterd ive ever seen in my life.

I am (wanna stay postein on the site) years old. I know more about drugs then most people on this site knew about drugs when they were 20. drugs help me free my mind from everything that is in bad cause around me. I have had some bad experiences in the past 2 months. Every1 i have a lil somthing for fucking hates me. Im not a ugly ass kid. My best friends make fun of me and dont like me anymore cuz i like the dead and stuff. Ive got lots of friends that are girls and care about me a lot. They dont show it one bit...only like 5 do. Me and my dad hunt for shrooms and i am ordering a book off of ebay very soon unless i die. My mom is the worst. She comes home from work and im all excited and go "hey mom!" and she just goes "yea whatever" and walks on. my dad and mom get in a fight, my mom comes in whereever im at, complains, i say ill do it, ill pick it up, ect. If i dont drop wat im doing i get punched or smacked or screamed at my ears hurt. My dad is cool, he takes me to dead shows and ozzfest but when mom yells at him to, he gets in a pissy mood and smacks me in the head if i do a very little somthing wrong. I get bad grades bcause im not smart. So pretty much the only thing going for me is my Guitar. Im simply amazing at it. I just dont get how parents can treat thier kids this way. I sure as hell am not doin it. Fuck, i just take my longboard and ride away i go to a strip mall. So u look at it in my view, ive goit street smarts on drugs and music (guitar and singing) for me and thats it.

Im fucked with my life and if anybody flames me about my age your gonna hear about a 13 year old kid who took to many sleeping pills and died.

Now i know u peaple r gonn say "you have so much more in life". Well i dont. My familys gay and doesnt support me at all unless thier high on cocaine and weed, my friends dont support me with whatever i do, and ive got no1 to love me back.

See where my lifes goin? Nowhere.

I think its time for slepin pills and alcohol.

Peace
((gAwK))


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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958651 - 08/03/04 02:14 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

still in tears...somebody please give me a good suggestion

((gAwK))


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958655 - 08/03/04 02:16 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Gawk, I know you're hurting.  And your age is not an issue to me, although I remember feeling often the same way.  The truth is that you have ALOT of life you have left to live.  But you can't continiously threaten suicide like this.  If you do kill yourself, it will be your fault, your action, NOT and NEVER the action of anyone else.  It will have been your choice.  You can't use suicide as a threat to get the responses that you want because it can make people feel manipulated.  Because it makes us feel powerless.  And we are powerless, because this is only a message board.  You've gotten some awesome advice, and it is up to you to do with it what you will.  We can't do anymore for you right now except what we've already done.  But it is *not* right or good to use suicide as a method of manipulation. 

Look, we care about you here, otherwise we wouldn't be responding so passionately to your cry for help.  In the end, it is up to you, and I know that you don't want to hear it, but it is entirely true. 

take care of yourself  :heart:

love,

*me*


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958657 - 08/03/04 02:17 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Gawk said:
still in tears...somebody please give me a good suggestion

((gAwK))





Stay strong...reread the compassionate posts that others have written in this thread.  There were some wonderful suggestions there.  :heart:


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OfflineMAGnum
veteran

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 2,421
Last seen: 5 years, 1 day
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: MOTH]
    #2958659 - 08/03/04 02:17 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Dude, I sent you a PM, I hope you feel better when you see it in the morning.


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OfflineMAGnum
veteran

Registered: 07/08/04
Posts: 2,421
Last seen: 5 years, 1 day
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: MAGnum]
    #2958661 - 08/03/04 02:18 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)



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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: MAGnum]
    #2958664 - 08/03/04 02:22 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

thanks mag...u really are the best.

ive got 6 pills in one hand a a glass of whiskey in the other...idk what to do :confused:
still in tears


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InvisibleMOTH
Wild Woman
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Registered: 06/06/03
Posts: 23,359
Loc: In the jungle
Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: ]
    #2958669 - 08/03/04 02:27 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

Put them down

Go outside for a jog

See nature and do some soul searching.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Complitating Suicide [Re: MOTH]
    #2958676 - 08/03/04 02:32 AM (12 years, 4 months ago)

i have a twomp and i dont no if i shud smoke it or not

wud it make me feel better?


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