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friends gf
    #14564094 -

I met her about a year before they hooked up. From the minute I saw her I always had a thing for her, and had a secret crush on her pretty much ever since. my ex used to get a bit shitty about it. Anyhoo, they hooked up and whatever. Bit of a rocky relationship as he tends to go away a bit and she gets left alone. They've broken up a couple of times. Over time and hanging out, I've become really good friends with her. We have a lot in common and get along like a house on fire, almost I dare say better than her and her boyfriend. while he's away she calls me up to hang out as she was obviously lonely and wanted company. I never made any moves on her, nor ever made my feeligns known and had resigned to the fact I would just keep it innocent and be nothing more than a friend, and I was fine with it. It wasn't like "oh I'm obsessed with her and it kills me every day to have her not know how I feel", it was manageable to say the least. She is actually a really really cool chick, great personality and all the rest of it (and incredibly damn cute)

anyway so my friend was away again recently for quite a while this time and me and her were hanging out, as usual, mostly with the rest of our crowd of people but every now and again she'd call me out for dinner or a drink or whatever, which was fine. No problems.

One night, towards the end, i could tell she was getting really frustrated and fed up with her situation. She called me out to meet up for dinner to chat. I headed down and we hung out over a few drinks. Eventually we'd had a few too many and were both pretty tanked. we moved to another nice little underground bar where we made the bad choice of ordering doubles. a few later, I went to the toilet and came back. Sat down and she cuts me off mid-sentence making some stupid comment about something dumb and irrelevant. She starts "I don't know what it is but it's not just the alcohol... the past 6 months or so.. there's something about you.. ive just wanted to grab you.." to which I said "no, can't do it. i can't go through this again" and then made the mistake of opening the fucking floodgates and telling her how I've felt the last 4 years or so, that I always had a thing for her and always thought in the back of my mind that it should have been her and me together, then she made the move and grabbed me and tried to kiss me, I pulled away and said "can't do it... nope." which obviously upset her a bit.  It was kind of weird to think that my feelings hadn't been one-sided this whole time, and those times when we were talking and she was looking at me weren't just me playing mindfuck games with myself.

Anyway, I said we couldn't go on, and we left the bar, and I had the intention of going home alone. We get to the corner and she goes "your place or mine" to which I just said "fuck.. I dont know.. I'm going home though... mine I guess" so we went back to mine, stripped off and got into bed. I'm absolutely shitfaced at this time, and lying in bed in this incredibly dark mental hole, having spent the last 3 weeks at home in bed all day and night eating pizza and watching documentaries my mental state wasn't exactly sunshine and rainbows. She starts cuddling up to me, kissing me etc and we get carried away for a bit before I say "nope.. can't do this" and stopped, rolled over and went to sleep. wake up the next day and it's obvious we're feeling pretty friggin bad about it, but to cure it we get up and go out for the day and hang out, go for a long walk, talk shit and shoot the breeze. talk about our predicament and it'sobvious we're both very much keen on each other but it's more or less not going to happen for obvious reasons. We hang out and I'm adamant on not doing anything more, but i really enjoy her company. we go back to her place and start watching a movie, she snuggles up to me on the couch and i pretty much am sitting there killing myself in my head. i finally freak out when it comes to like 1am and im like "im gonna go home" to which she offers me to stay the night, which I decline, and leave.

the bf is back and they're kind of on rocky ground as shes telling him shes not happy and wants to figure out what she wants. friends have been whispering behind our backs for a long time that something has been going on, long before it actually had. one night she was on the drink just recently and you'd think she'd be hanging out with him but no she was in my room all night with me talking to me, until like 4am when i (sober as a judge) said "i think you'd better leave" which she was kind of offended at but whatever

fuck
how do i get myself into these predicaments

i'm still obsessed with her and think about that shit constantly, and she keeps sending me little cute messages to which i am forcing myself to respond bluntly to, or without encouraging anything... it's gutting because i knew from the start it should have been me with her, but i was too pussy to make the move in the first place. now its too late and im in this mess. the night we kissed i told her "i always thought it should have been us together" and she said "why didnt you make a move i would have been down for that"
well guess wht i was just a big pussy wasnt i

ffffuuuu :foreveralone:

Edited by Anonymous (09/28/11 08:36 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14564169 -

I dunno why man, but the shits already happened lol. The bf is going to be pissed (happened to me one time with my gf) but he'll deal with it. If they were happy together she wouldn't be feeling anything for anyone else, ya know? If your not like actively hitting on and flirting with the girl and she still wants you for whatever reason they're obviously not happy together... basically its going to be you or you can shut her down and she'll hook up with somebody else and you'll miss out. And if he really wants her to be happy and she's not with him then idk. Im by far not a relation expert or anything but you just gotta weigh ur options

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: runepanther]
    #14564350 -

panther has a good point. but if you go with her you'll totally lose your 'good friend.'


--------------------
People never seem to know what they least suspect is coming next.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: dummy]
    #14564685 -

basically, you are a shitty friend for doing that to his girlfriend of 3 years. alcohol isnt an excuse.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: LZip] * 7
    #14564948 -

Friendships have come and gone but I always regret the girls I didn't bang.


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Friendships have come and gone but I always regret the girls I didn't bang




I just dont really care what you think

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: LZip] * 3
    #14565195 -

LZip said:
basically, you are a shitty friend for doing that to his girlfriend of 3 years. alcohol isnt an excuse.


my friends could leave their girlfriends naked in a room with me being naked and both of us hammered and i still woulnd't touch 'em. 

its just the law.  my brain is stronger than my penis.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: memes]
    #14565924 -

This is supposed to be your friend? You and the girl should do him a favor and just kindly just fuck off out of his life. Spare him by not going into the full details, but you really don't need to be betraying him like that.

I'm not trying to sound like a dick, but if I was in his situation I would want nothing to do with either of you.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: memes]
    #14565955 -

Honestly, the way people feel is the way people feel.

Now I might get flamed by all the self-righteous people regarding the moral aspect of my advice. But in REALITY, feelings are blind and the way people feel is the way people feel.

Look, it would be doing her a favour as she's not happy with what she's getting and people NEED sex. Don't let her starve lol, fuck her brains out and just don't tell your friend. When feelings build up like this, you need to release the pressure in order to see more clearly.

You's would both probably feel guilty after doing it but at least you let it out and would think of more appropriate action to take from there. At the moment yous are both in a clouded limbo and the ONLY way to see the truth is to let it all out.

Be careful about starting a relationship with her because in my eyes that is far more of a betrayal towards your friend than simply having sex with her. I think she needs to find another man and you need to find yourself a girlfriend. But in the meantime, you's BOTH need to let off the steam otherwise you's are both hurting yourselves more than necessary. Think of it as therapy between friends. You seem to have become good friends with her and friends should help eachother out in times of need.

The main point I'm trying to get across is that if you continue trying to do the "right thing" (which I totally respect), the sexual tension will always be there and it will hurt the both of you more and more over time. But if you's give in and let it all out, you will both be able to see much clearer and make a more appropriate decision as to what to do from there. If you's feel guilty, then you know its wrong to move forward with it. If you's don't feel guilty, then it was meant to be.

The other option is to just stop seeing both your friend and his girl and let their relationship take its course without you being involved. But you need to completely distance yourself from them. That would probably be the more "right thing" to do.


--------------------
Through the Spintrinfinty of the all Tremongstanooloop, we realise that infinity may after all amount to nothing... space merely being an illusion.

Edited by Kamoopstinoops (06/05/11 07:08 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Kamoopstinoops]
    #14566108 -

Kamoopstinoops said:
Honestly, the way people feel is the way people feel.

Now I might get flamed by all the self-righteous people regarding the moral aspect of my advice. But in REALITY, feelings are blind and the way people feel is the way people feel.

Look, it would be doing her a favour as she's not happy with what she's getting and people NEED sex. Don't let her starve lol, fuck her brains out and just don't tell your friend. When feelings build up like this, you need to release the pressure in order to see more clearly.

You's would both probably feel guilty after doing it but at least you let it out and would think of more appropriate action to take from there. At the moment yous are both in a clouded limbo and the ONLY way to see the truth is to let it all out.



That aint cool man... if I was the other dude in this situation i'd be pretty hurt when it all came crashing down. If someone isn't getting what they need in a closed relationship they should break it off and look elsewhere...

Betraying someone and going behind there back is selfish.

I'd much rather have a woman break it off with me and go about her business than simply go around fucking other dudes without telling me. At least have enough respect for someone to break it off first...

And op, if this does evolve into a relationship... you can sleep soundly knowning your girlfriend is a slut who is probably going to go off sucking/fucking other dudes behind your back when you don't do it for her anymore.

:mushroom2:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Subconscious]
    #14566166 -

Subconscious said:
Kamoopstinoops said:
Honestly, the way people feel is the way people feel.

Now I might get flamed by all the self-righteous people regarding the moral aspect of my advice. But in REALITY, feelings are blind and the way people feel is the way people feel.

Look, it would be doing her a favour as she's not happy with what she's getting and people NEED sex. Don't let her starve lol, fuck her brains out and just don't tell your friend. When feelings build up like this, you need to release the pressure in order to see more clearly.

You's would both probably feel guilty after doing it but at least you let it out and would think of more appropriate action to take from there. At the moment yous are both in a clouded limbo and the ONLY way to see the truth is to let it all out.



That aint cool man... if I was the other dude in this situation i'd be pretty hurt when it all came crashing down. If someone isn't getting what they need in a closed relationship they should break it off and look elsewhere...

Betraying someone and going behind there back is selfish.

I'd much rather have a woman break it off with me and go about her business than simply go around fucking other dudes without telling me. At least have enough respect for someone to break it off first...

And op, if this does evolve into a relationship... you can sleep soundly knowning your girlfriend is a slut who is probably going to go off sucking/fucking other dudes behind your back when you don't do it for her anymore.

:mushroom2:


Believe me, I agree with you 110%. But I'm pointing out that as long as he's associating with his friend and girl, him and the girl are gonna experience increasing mental anguish. Somethings gotta give.

As I said, the most "right" thing to do would be for him to distance himself from both of them. I was just offering an alternative solution if he still wanted to associate with his friends. You'll be surprised at how clearly you can see the situation once you blow off the steam and get the emotions out of the way.

But then again, there's the option of telling the boyfriend of what happened. But it will kinda be like "snitching" on her for coming at you like that lol. Unless you's both talk to him together... He'll be hurt, but thats the most honest way to do it.

So there's 4 options to deal with this situation... 1. Don't do anything with her, continue hanging out and pretend that there's no feelings between you. 2. Blow off the steam and go for it. 3. Distance yourself completely from her and her boyfriend. 4. Get with the girl and confront him and tell him the truth.

As you can see, there's no easy way out. But then again its not an easy situation....

The thing is, I'm speaking from experience as I've been there, done that. I took option 3 as it was getting too much. But to this day, I still wished I tapped her lol.


--------------------
Through the Spintrinfinty of the all Tremongstanooloop, we realise that infinity may after all amount to nothing... space merely being an illusion.

Edited by Kamoopstinoops (06/05/11 07:55 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Kamoopstinoops]
    #14567719 -

Kamoopstinoops said:
Honestly, the way people feel is the way people feel.
...
Look, it would be doing her a favour as she's not happy with what she's getting and people NEED sex.


No they don't.  People need air, water, food.  Sex is nice but some people do not consider betraying a friends confidence a worthy trade for sex.

Personally I would give up sex before friendship any day, if you see things differently I can see how you would be cool with this behavior.  To me honesty and openness is a big part of friendship, and if I'm sneaking around behind someones back, I am not being a friend to them.

This isn't to say I haven't made mistakes in the heat of the moment, but when I realize I am wrong I do my best to face up to the situation, and do the right thing.  Chicks tend to make me a bit loopy at times, I've found that taking time to focus on myself isn't necessarily the worst thing.  I haven't had sex recently, and I have been more satisfied with my life than any other time I can remember.

I really wouldn't sweat it too much, after all you only kissed her, right?

Edited by moonrockmushy (06/06/11 01:36 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14567906 -

yea we only kissed, we both stopped ourselves before it went further

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14568019 -

I re-read your 1st post -- I don't mean to sound judgemental, I wasn't really talking about you, as I don't know all the details of your situation.  I've been in somewhat similar situations and I just wish I had handled it differently now.  I mean you did mess up a bit, but I know people that have done much worse who I still think of as decent folks; you can get past this but you definately have some tough choices to make.

Honestly fuck what other people say (even me :wink:) about you or her character if you decide to get with her, its not their life.  It sounds to me like your friend is kind of a jealous dude if he was mad at you for just hanging out with his ex, that just makes no sense to me, he doesn't own her.  If you were to get with her I think you would have to be up front with your friend, and hope that he takes it well, but it sounds like he won't.  I just would hope you are doing it for the right reasons not just to get laid.

Dig deep, you'll find the answer.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14568033 -

Im gonna be the devil's advocate here...if you have more chemistry with her than he has with her, why not hook up?
If he leaves her alone for that long he's probably seeing other people anyway.

There is a certain law of attraction and she'll probably be thinking of you when she is with him.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: LZip] * 1
    #14568079 -

> basically, you are a shitty friend for doing that to his girlfriend of 3 years. alcohol isnt an excuse.

Or a good friend for pointing out that his bud is dating a bitch that is going to cheat... better to know that now than to know it after they are married, with a few kids, and a mortgage.


--------------------
Just another spore in the wind.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Seuss]
    #14568113 -

I don't think we could actually hook up, it would completely fuck everything. We have a prety tight group of friends, it's kinda like brady bunch, or Friends (tv) or some shit. We couldn't hook up, and we can't tell him, because it would literally destroy everything. I think we just have to concede that we have strong feelings for each other.
She has never cheated before and it is unfair of you all to talk about her like that, afterwards when we were hanging out she pointed out how shit she felt because it is out of character for her, she has never cheated before and always hated those girls that do. "i'm not that girl/i don't want to be that girl" she said. She is not a cheating whore or anything of the like i think it's just a sad event that i liked her from the start and she developed an attraction to me over time.

he never cheats on her he is definately not like that. i am 100% sure he has and never would cheat, he is an awesome guy.

i am the shit cunt criminal in this situation, nobody else. i should have just parted ways and went home alone and kept my feelings to myself.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14568122 -

TBH she seemed like she kept trying as where you kept saying "I cant do this".
I think she is more the culprit than you are.

I dont have tightly nit friends like that though, most people I know fuck eachother over in a heartbeat. It's pillage or be pillaged around these parts. And they wonder why Im a sociopath.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14568198 -

If you really want to keep the status quo, keeping quiet about it may be a good idea.  You say that she is a good girl but sometimes in situations like this people can act a bit irrational.  There is always a chance that she will tell him, maybe even blaming you, and you will lose both her and your friend.  These things have a way of coming back to bite you in the ass if not fully resolved.

For you and her to be keeping secrets from him, and maintaining your oh-so-tight group of friends sounds pretty contradictory to me.  I used to think of my friends like that, things change, that is part of life.

I mean, can you imagine how it will be hanging out with the two of them once he is back?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Fleadh]
    #14568207 -

Fleadh said:
Friendships have come and gone but I always regret the girls I didn't bang.


.. those were my grandfather's dying words to me.  Wise man he was.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: walterwhite]
    #14568210 -

Call me insensitive but i feel that way as well.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14568219 -

he's back and it seems fine, albeit just rocky between those two.
when he got back i think they spent like one night together "sorting shit out" and she told him to leave because she wanted to be alone. considering how shit she was feeling when he was away im surprised theyre not spending all possible time together, its odd. and as i said, when he was back she was on the drink one night with some friends and youd think she would be spending all her time with him that night considering hed just got back but no she barely spoke to him, was with me until 4am (of her own accord, she kept coming into my room at all hours to talk and whatnot)

everyone was really suspicious of us before anything even happened. we were hanging out a lot, and the bf even knows as she once said to him ages ago that if they weren't together she'd be with me. he knows that we are pretty close and was fine with it, but i done gone and fucked it up now by getting into this mess

chances are if she tells him she will tell the truth and she would not blame me (not that im not to blame) she is a very honest and down to earth girl and is very level headed. i think that is quite hard for yall to understand given the situation

Edited by Anonymous (06/06/11 06:16 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14568393 -

:lol:

Edited by shLong (03/03/12 11:43 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: shLong]
    #14569688 -

Well my anonamous friend, I hope you find your girl, maybe this is not the one.  If she is I hope your friend is understanding, and does not :voodoo: your ass. 

Sounds to me like it could make for some very awkward situations but like you sez, I'm not privy to all the bits.  I'd love to hear what you end up doing and how it turns out.

It sucks how people are suspiscious, gossipy, and judgemental :sad:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #14571404 -

You are a serious dickhead, hope you fall in love with a girl who goes behind your back with a good mate. Maybe then you will know how it feels ya scumbag.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14571761 -

moonrockmushy said:
It sucks how people are suspiscious, gossipy, and judgemental :sad:



Yeah it totally sucks when people are correct and right in their intuition...  what? 

They were suspicious because something was going on and everyone in his circle could see it.  They are gossiping because HOLY SHIT, I dunno, one of their friends in their "tight circle" as the OP describes, is fucking another one of the friend's girlfriends in their tight circle.  Gee, this wouldn't be a point of conversation?  And they're judgmental because it's wrong.  How can you fuck your friend like that?  Bros before ho's. 

You need to be honest with your friend.  If you can't do that then you tell her to break it off with him before you hook up with her again.  Have some fucking decency and don't fuck your friend's girlfriend.  Jesus.  Glad to know you feel bad about it but do you feel bad enough to do what's right?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Jwlst]
    #14572212 -

Jwlst said:
You are a serious dickhead, hope you fall in love with a girl who goes behind your back with a good mate. Maybe then you will know how it feels ya scumbag.


It's already happened to me, in a way much worse than this.

Also, we never fucked.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #14572510 -

Fuck your friend.

I had a choice to make, keep my friend or take her fiance.  We decided on getting together and fucked everone else over (my husband included).

Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it.

I life with no regrets.  Turns out we're perfect for each other.  Almost six years together and two kids together.  So fuck them in their arses.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14572618 -

you should have fucked her dude.

i had this same problem, I had this friend, and this chick he had broken up with was a total ho, she fucked like all his friends. anyway one night we are making out and i start fingering her and she is like "stop.. it feels so good, but stop... oh yeaahhh!! i mean stop" finally i stopped. then she suggests we go to his place and she crawls on me and we sleep on the couch in his room. the next day was ackward.

anyways awhile later they go back out for a week, and this time I'm sleeping in his room on the couch, while they are like fucking really obviously. at first it's under the covers, but then i would pass out for a few hours then wake up in the middle of the night, and just see her riding him like right there no covers or nothing.

so a week later she breaks up with him and goes out with this other guy, a total ho. she moves up north a ways, and at this point i don't really care about her anymore, so it's like no hard feelings, i fucked around with her, and w/e hey business is business, pleasure is pleasure, either way have fun and move on. so every week she calls me up to hang out and drink and smoke weed, I'm like "fuck yeah, why not, get high for free." i go up and chill with her and her new b/f like every weekend thinking it's all good. little do I know she still likes me.


one night I'm there with this chick, and her b/f is sleeping in the room, we are lying on the floor watching t.v. and her heroin addict sister is passed out on the couch, with her b/f. she starts rubbing my dick with her feet and shit, and I'm just kind of like "ok, didn't expect this, w/e, just roll with it" then she crawls on top of me. at this point I can ask her if she wants to go fuck in the car, or just straight up tell her that i don't want to fuck in the living room in her b/f's house, with her b/f in the bedroom, and her sis 2 feet behind us on the couch. but something else jumped in my mind "this is my home boys ex girl, poor dude"

anyway, i pass up a chance to get laid. but like years later, this dude is going out with a completely different chick, that I'm not interested in what so ever, and is a total bitch. long story short she hates his friends, convinces him to stop hanging out with them, including me. he becomes a total asshole, i mean this dude treats this bitch like she is his mommy or something, totally needs this bitch to think. real pussy whipped type. he ends up not hanging out with me over some other shit that never happened, because she convinced him so.


so in hind sight, the guy was a total asshole. never pass up a chance to get laid. if you are this dudes friend, do him a favor, take one for the team. fuck that bitch. i mean she doesn't care about him, right? she is kissing you and cuddling and shit while he is gone. he doesn't care about her, he takes off for weeks on end whenever he pleases, maybe he is fucking some other chick? who knows right... i don't know. fuck her now. she'll probly take off and never see him or you again. later on if he is a man you and him will get over it. boys are boys again. chicks will be chicks. life goes on. enjoy your night. you are giving me a head ache.

i wish i was you for a night just so I could fuck this chick and get rid of my head ache. I'm getting blue balls just reading your post. it's painful man. fuck her or don't. either way move on. I'm sure your boy would do the same shit to you if he were in your shoes. which.... maybe aint too great, but w/e I'm just saying I've seen it happen, you think you are such good friends with someone, but like they won't fuck your girl.


idk, anyway good luck :shrug:


--------------------
:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Ravana]
    #14572622 -

Ravana said:
Fuck your friend.

I had a choice to make, keep my friend or take her fiance.  We decided on getting together and fucked everone else over (my husband included).

Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it.

I life with no regrets.  Turns out we're perfect for each other.  Almost six years together and two kids together.  So fuck them in their arses.



glad that worked out for you


--------------------
:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: imachavel]
    #14572638 -

meh, you misread the characters, personalities are quite different to what you are seeing I think

Thanks for the advice, but I'll pass on fucking her, as much as I want to, but it's just a really bad idea. I'm in deep enough as it is, I think.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #14572762 -

Bipolarbear said:
moonrockmushy said:
It sucks how people are suspiscious, gossipy, and judgemental :sad:



Yeah it totally sucks when people are correct and right in their intuition...  what? 

They were suspicious because something was going on and everyone in his circle could see it.  They are gossiping because HOLY SHIT, I dunno, one of their friends in their "tight circle" as the OP describes, is fucking another one of the friend's girlfriends in their tight circle.  Gee, this wouldn't be a point of conversation?  And they're judgmental because it's wrong.  How can you fuck your friend like that?  Bros before ho's. 

You need to be honest with your friend.  If you can't do that then you tell her to break it off with him before you hook up with her again.  Have some fucking decency and don't fuck your friend's girlfriend.  Jesus.  Glad to know you feel bad about it but do you feel bad enough to do what's right?


I don't really see it as anyone else's business but this dude here's, and the said couple.  Of course, here I am poking my nose in as well, but I'm not ready to pass judgement as I don't know what he is going through, where he has been.  Everyone out there is just doing their best, but sometimes our human desires get the better of us and we do things that we regret.

When it comes to love and sex, 'right' and 'wrong' can differ greatly from one person to the next.  As I've said, I have very close friends that have constant problems with infidelity who I do not see as bad people, maybe confused, but good people all the same.  Then again, I don't think monogamy is for everyone, especially when it comes to long-distance relationships.  This guy sounds genuine in that he apparently really likes this girl, and at the same time is concerned for the well-being of his friend.

"Bros before hos" in my experience is just something that silly frat-boy types say until they get pussy-whipped, or realize that they are gay.

I do agree with the last paragraph here, honesty is always a good thing. That doesn't make it easy.  As I have gotten older and learned to become more honest with myself and others, I find myself with much fewer "friends", but much better ones who accept me for what I am, and make my life happy rather than complicated.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14572889 -

Quote:
moonrockmushy said:I don't really see it as anyone else's business but this dude here's, and the said couple.


Well, it got posted on a public forum so its gonna get a bunch of different opinions and judgements. Ones he likes and ones he don't, its just the way it goes...

But to the OP, you know your situation better than anyone here so I'm sure you'll do what you feel is best. All the best buddy.


--------------------
Through the Spintrinfinty of the all Tremongstanooloop, we realise that infinity may after all amount to nothing... space merely being an illusion.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14573359 -

Anonymous said:
meh, you misread the characters, personalities are quite different to what you are seeing I think

Thanks for the advice, but I'll pass on fucking her, as much as I want to, but it's just a really bad idea. I'm in deep enough as it is, I think.


whatever works for you man :shrug:


--------------------
:kingcrankey: I did not say to edit my signature soulidarity! Now forever I will never remember what I said about understanding the secrets of the universe by paying attention to subtleties!

:facepalm: I'm never giving you the password again. Jerk

Edited by imachavel (06/07/11 09:05 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Ravana]
    #14576097 -

Ravana said:
Fuck your friend.

I had a choice to make, keep my friend or take her fiance.  We decided on getting together and fucked everone else over (my husband included).

Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it.

I life with no regrets.  Turns out we're perfect for each other.  Almost six years together and two kids together.  So fuck them in their arses.




Cool story, bro.

You live life with no regrets or morals apparently.  I mean, leaving someone because you think you found the one I understand but to do so and actually enjoy the part where you are fucking over people who cared about you and that you (gasp!) supposedly cared about?  That's a helluva way to live your life. 

I see your tagline "Aussie Bitch" and your signature "Being unstable and bitchy is all part of my mystique"

Yep.  I know all I ever need to know about you.    :shamwow:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Ravana] * 1
    #14576234 -

Ravana said:
Fuck your friend.

I had a choice to make, keep my friend or take her fiance.  We decided on getting together and fucked everone else over (my husband included).

Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it.

I life with no regrets.  Turns out we're perfect for each other.  Almost six years together and two kids together.  So fuck them in their arses.


I hope someone rapes and murders your children and their excuse for the crime is:

"Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it."

Selfish bitch.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Jwlst] * 1
    #14576238 -

i dont read bullshit posts that are 20 pages long with NO pictures

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14577056 -

I posted here so I expected no sympathy. I know what I did was wrong, and while i was less hammered I had a conscious mind to not let it go forward, unfortunately as I got more hammered the willpower to say no got weaker, I'm not blaming alcohol, I should have just stopped drinking and left. I don't want to fuck anyone over, and I don't want to hurt anyone, what happened was selfish but in true hindsight it was bound to happen eventually, we were hanging out a lot. I never made any flirtatious moves or anything, I made my best effort to keep my feelings  to myself. I think I succeeded, she told me first.

It's a big drama pile of shit, really. I should just get over it and move on. It's a shame, I have had this crush on her for so long now, and to see it come out like this is quite shitty, really.  I should have just put moves on her all the way back then.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Jwlst] * 1
    #14578068 -

Sounds like you got a handle on it OP, hope things work out better for ya next time :wink:
Jwlst said:
I hope someone rapes and murders your children and their excuse for the crime is:

"Im a selfish bitch I see what I want and I take it."

Selfish bitch.



That is a terrible thing to say, I know you are probably just being dramatic, but I don't see what her children have to do with this. So what, she is selfish, at least she is aware of it.  Some seem completely oblivious that they are human and have faults. 

We all come up with different explanations for the way we act, its not like any of them make any sense anyway if you look very deeply.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #14578128 -

I have the social skills of a weather balloon. I have no confidence when it comes to talking to girls, which is how I end up in these situations. When I know a girl is taken, I immediately feel a lot more comfortable around her, because I can be myself around them without being paranois they think I'm hitting on them. It's a vicious cycle.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #14578372 -

You and me both, man. 

Its only lately that I've learned to be somewhat happy with myself, but I still don't feel that ladies are into me. I sometimes think its that I'm too nice, and that doesn't seem fair, maybe I'm just ugly :shrug:  I've given up on that stuff for now and am persuing other interests, trying to find my own peace. 

I can't say I'm all that jealous usually, but a few times I've clicked with close friend's girlfriends and it is surely awkward.  With all my lacking confidence I am still able to think, 'what is she doing with this dickhead, she should be with me!'.  I always do my best to respect the people who have stood by me, that is just what is most important to me, not sex.

I've been the dude on the side when its not a friend's girl, I invariably end up feeling used.  They take advantage of me for my sensitivity, get an ego boost, then go back to the asshole boyfriend when they're feeling better, I am left wondering what the hell I was thinking, feeling like a sucker.  It really burns I hope I never make that mistake again.

Edited by moonrockmushy (06/08/11 06:00 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #15080864 -

Some developments... I am posting here because I cannot talk to anyone about it IRL and so I can't cop the moral abuse anywhere else but here.


The other night we went and saw a show together (we bought tickets a couple of months ago, and her boyfriend got kinda shitty we didn't invite him along, as can be expected) of an act we both love and can find a great common ground on, and something I guess her boyfriend wouldn't 'get'


anyway, so after the show we took some pills and some acid and went out and had a great night at some bars around where I live. We had a great time, laughed, carried on, talked shit and enjoyed laughing at the people around us.

As the night ended we ended up back at my place for after drinks and listen to tunes and chill out. out of nowhere she just comes out with how she cannot stop thinking about me.. and when she is with her boyfriend, as much as she loves him, she cannot get me out of her head... and that that night of going to the show together, for her, was more about getting to spend the night with me, rather than just going to see the show.

the feeling was completely mutual.

i told her how i feel and she told me the same, and kept saying "if only I had met you first..."  and that if her boyfriend goes travelling again she is going to call it off, because she can't handle him being away and she wants to be free to be herself... and implied that if she broke up with him she would want to be with me

we spent the next 3 nights together, the night after the show we went to the movies together and she told me she told her boyfriend she'd 'needed space' we hung out but there was that awkward elephant in the corner... i didn't know what to do with her because it was wrong to show affection but i wanted to so badly, and so did she. i stayed at her place and we lay in bed watching a show and i didnt want to  grab her but later she snuggled up to me. nothing happened but we just cuddled all night and it was so good, it felt so good to be close to her. we both lay there the next day thinking "what the fuck are we doing?" but kept saying about how we just wanted each other so badly

this is a fucked up predicament and it has been going on for, what, 4 months now? and she said she has felt this way about me most of this year, and I have the best part of 4 years, since I first met her. I have always had a thing for her... i can't get her out of my head. I hate that I am putting her in this situation with her boyfriend and making her feel the guilt, but there is the problem of following our feelings and hearts or putting them aside and letting them grow out of tension


fuck

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #15080988 -

You should fuck her, I just fucked my friend's girlfriend, it was pretty awesome.


--------------------
We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15080990 -

what are you and her waiting for?

I think love doesnt have boundaries. It either is or isnt. Sounds like it isnt with them and is with you. When is she gonna end it so you guys can move forward together? The whole dating ex-gfs of friends rule doesnt apply if you can see yourself having a legit longterm relationship with her, imo. If its just lust then think long and hard if its worth it. But shit if you could spend the rest of your life with a girl, how can you deny that cause of some bro rule?


--------------------
notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... "

ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Mickalopagus]
    #15081009 -

that is the first supporting response with actual reason behind it. I could see myself spending a very long time with this girl, I have very deep feelings with her, as I've said we haven't actually had sex, but being with her... I just enjoy her company, and enjoy being close with her, and so many times before any of this had even happened I would look at her and think what I would do to have someone like her

I just think that after time she would see me for what I really am and perhaps lose interest or not think I'm so great or something, I don't know what she see's in me now, anyway. she could have any guy she wants. every time we go out, people always say stuff like "you have a pretty girlfriend" or "i'll leave you with your girlfriend" and we both just look at each other, not saying anything... kind of 'pretending' or something,,, guys hit on her everywhere she goes, she is very pretty and as i said, she could have anyone. i find it incredible that she could feel this way about me, her boyfriend is a typically very attractive guy, girls are after him all the time, and he's ridiculously nice and good natured as well...

even he said to me once "she told me that if we weren't together she would be with you" and that was long before we had admitted feelings for each other.


blahhhh

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #15081149 -

Nah dude hit it and quit it.


--------------------
We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Nemo_Hoes]
    #15081258 -

thanks but no thanks.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15081418 -

You're a fucking asshole, going behind your friends back like that. If you wanted to pursue something with this girl she should have broken it off before anything happened between you. Personally if I were your friend I would have eventually gotten over the situation if it went down like that. At this point you may as well tell him already and get used to not having him as a friend.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #3] * 1
    #15081435 -

Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.

If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15081467 -

:3some:?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15081900 -

koraks said:
Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.

If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.


QFT


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Nemo_Hoes]
    #15082107 -

Cracula said:
Nah dude hit it and quit it.


Cracula said:
You should fuck her, I just fucked my friend's girlfriend, it was pretty awesome.


:maximumtrolling:


--------------------
What has made them conceive that man must want a rationally advantageous choice?
I've become desensitized to these types of occurrences thus far. Yet, there lies a sensation of bitter disappointment embedded within.

  FINE YOU IMBECILE; SUFFER!! IT IS YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE HURTING. NOTHING IS DETERRING YOU FROM ATTAINING THAT OF WHICH YOU INHERENTLY CRAVE. YOU HAVE LET THEM TAKE OVER YOUR MIND, YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL, YOU NEVER WERE.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15083889 -

koraks said:
Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.

If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.


koraks as always coming in with excellent advice.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #15084218 -

moonrockmushy said:
Bipolarbear said:
moonrockmushy said:
It sucks how people are suspiscious, gossipy, and judgemental :sad:



Yeah it totally sucks when people are correct and right in their intuition...  what? 

They were suspicious because something was going on and everyone in his circle could see it.  They are gossiping because HOLY SHIT, I dunno, one of their friends in their "tight circle" as the OP describes, is fucking another one of the friend's girlfriends in their tight circle.  Gee, this wouldn't be a point of conversation?  And they're judgmental because it's wrong.  How can you fuck your friend like that?  Bros before ho's. 

You need to be honest with your friend.  If you can't do that then you tell her to break it off with him before you hook up with her again.  Have some fucking decency and don't fuck your friend's girlfriend.  Jesus.  Glad to know you feel bad about it but do you feel bad enough to do what's right?



"Bros before hos" in my experience is just something that silly frat-boy types say until they get pussy-whipped, or realize that they are gay.





Or it's a simpler way of expressing a code of conduct between friends.  I would never fuck over my friend like that but all of you seem to reaching for different ways to justify to yourselves why it's ok to go behind a friend's back and fuck their girlfriend.  Slice it whichever way you want -- he's not good enough for her, I shoulda been her boyfriend, we were meant for one another, whatever.  IMO that is what's gay.  If you'll fuck over your friend then who wouldn't you fuck over?  It's that type of personality that would sell out their own mother for another hit. 

But that's cool, bro.  Defend being a scumbag under the pretext of believing the person who did no wrong is actually gay or pussy-whipped.  I'm sure the justification makes it easier to swallow.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #15084798 -

Welp, Bipolarbear proved that there's always two sides of a coin. I don't really have any advice. All I can say is I'd chill out, probably tell her she had to make a choice, and then see what she chooses. Korak pretty much hit the nail on the head like usual.


--------------------
Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15085472 -

koraks said:
Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.

If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.


Thanks, I think that's more or less it.
I will put this to her, or just say I will leave her alone and let her figure out what she wants. I spent last night with her again, the more time I spend with this girl, the more I am falling for her.

fuck

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15085876 -

Yeah, you can't carry on like this forever. Something's gonna give sooner or later. I'm sure she realizes that too; discuss the situation with her!

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15085933 -

when we discussed it last weekend she was more or less saying that she was thinking of breaking up with him to be with me...

idk she knows what the situation with and she has constantly reiterated her guilt and feeling of shit about the whole thing but feeligns cant be helped and she said shed hoped it was sexual frustration/tension but it wasnt.

i know it cant go on forever but baaahh idk what to do and i dont want to call it off with her but i know we have to

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15085985 -

Yeah, it's a frustrating situation; it's all in her hands. You can try to manipulate her a bit into the direction you want, but it's up to you to decide if you find that ethical/acceptable. But you can at least be clear about your desires, intentions and hopes. Which, I understand, is what you're doing already, so you'll just have to wait and see...

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15135856 -

been spending a lot of time with this girl of late, realising more and more how much i love her company, almost to total saturation point, started planning dates and stuff to take her out to, her relationship with her bf was melting down, we were spending a lot of nights together going out

last night we went out with some friends, then when we all split up i went back to her place, all night she had been saying sshe just wanted to leave everyone and hang out alone together
on the way back to her place she grabbed me to kiss me, i finally broke and said we have to stop this, it cant go on, its getting dangerous to the point of ruining everything for both of us, having such a tight nit group of friends and whatnot


i wsaid i wanted nothing but her but we couldnt do it any more... i walked her home and spent some time at her place and left

i walked home. her bf spent the day with her trying to rekindle what was dying between them, she said it wasjnt just me she just wasnt sure what she wanted.. but as far as i  can tell things are good between them now, i msg'd her saying i hoped everything was ok, got some coldish responses ("ok thanks", that kind of thing), i thik she is deliberately trying to distance herself from me to try and kill any feelings betwen us, i actually feel completely heaertbroken, not that it matters because of the horrible fucking thing i've done and i fully deserve to feel like this

i have a bottle of xanax, i think its going to come in handy, ive been lying i nbed all day and night just having incredibly nightmares, waking up feeling very alone, scared and heartbrroken. all i want is her and its something i can never have. i dont know what ive done or how or why i let this situation happen but at the end of it all here i feel abandoned, alone, like a fucking asshole and most of all like a horrible cunt..

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15135886 -

Dude, man up. Nothing is lost. Ok, for you, it's sad that she didn't jump into your arms, leaving her bf to rot by himself. But look at it from her perspective: her bf got his final heads-up, and wouldn't it be fair of her to give him/them a chance? So I guess you can expect to hear little from her for a while; any communication will be brief, polite, distanced, unromantic. And maybe things with her current bf will shape up and the contact between the two of you will peter out altogether, or, alternatively, she and her bf realize that their relationship doesn't work, and who knows she'll contact you again. But even if their relationship comes to an end, it is very well possible that things won't start getting hot between the two of you immediately. It's very conceivable that she'll mourn over the loss of her relationship, even if the final phase was shitty; hey, it's just what people do.

So in short: she might come around, but the fact that communication is very limited right now makes perfect sense. And again, it's perfectly ok to tell her that you regret this, in a non-threatening, non-oppressive manner. You could let her know that you understand that she's focusing on her relationship right now, but that you enjoyed the times you spent together and that you regret that the distance between the two of you has increased now, and that you hope that the contact will intensify at some point again. To which she'll likely respond along the lines of 'yeah, hopefully, but I need some space now'.

Or maybe I'm just dead wrong and talking out of my ass. People aren't perfectly predictable...

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15135894 -

thanks.. what you say makes a lot of sense and in fact has more truth to it than i could probably conceive

i have sso much i could whine about right now but there is no point

i just feel incredibly shitty and want nothing more than her. but there isnt a lot i can really offer her

fuck it

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15135913 -

It's ok to wallow for a bit. Don't loose yourself in it, but I'll be the last to say that you should put on a happy smile right on the spot and be merry about it. Of course it sucks. It's perfectly ok. Got a good friend who you can drag out to a bar and get drunk with, maybe? It always helps to whine to someone while getting intoxicated. At least, for me it helps...

Quote:
i just feel incredibly shitty and want nothing more than her. but there isnt a lot i can really offer her


Of course you want her. Nothing wrong with that. And you probably have a lot more to offer than you're letting on right now, but at this moment, she just isn't capable of accepting your offer. Still, it seems like a good thing to let her know that you're still there for her. I mean, best case scenario = she uses your shoulder to cry on if (when?) her relationship goes bust anyway. Which, by the way, she won't do if you come across as very depressed, unhappy or needy. So if you speak to her, it's ok to let on you feel shitty about the whole thing, but try not to appear completely bummed out and down. Keep your head up man!

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15135915 -

and  thanks for not just abusing me for my bad decisions and letting this situation spiral out of control

it wasnt just a matter of sexual tension, i thought this girl was amzing when i first saw her, years ago, she didnt even know who i was until a cpl years later by which time she was dating my friend.

i had just broken up with my gf, and hae been single since (2.5 yrs now) with very limited sexual activity in that time and virtually no interest in any girl whatsoever let alone attachment toanyone but this one girl, whom i never showed my interest in, kept my feellings hidden and just provided myself as a friend, as she doesnt have many in this town and we just get along together like a house on fire. i never made any move, hints or anything, she made the moves on me, i kept my feelings hidden until that first night she told me how she'd felt

i am sick of being alone, i am sick of not knowing how to take confidence and control and find myself a nice girl.. but the worst problem of all is that i dont want any other girl but her, and i dont want to have to go through this heartbreak again of waiting for my feelings for a girl to disappear over, no doubt, a long period of time, and no doubt we will see each other again very soon, and keep seeing each other in social settings which is going to make it harder again

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
    #15135925 -

Quote:
koraks said: I mean, best case scenario = she uses your shoulder to cry on if (when?) her relationship goes bust anyway.


i think thats kind of how this whole mess started in the first place, her relationship was getting bad b/c of her bf's travels. hes never around, i kind of am, and we hang out.

from what i gather the bf at the moment thinks things are all fine and dandy, but im sure she is just really confused, she kept saying last night she doesn't know how to break up with him, seeing as he's planned a trip away for them both, and she doesn't know what to do... she wants 'space' but idk

its all a bit messy

im sick of getting drunk, im sick of partying, ive been doing it for the last few wks just to be with her, which is totally unhealthy in more ways than just physical...



i dont know, its just one of the challenges of life..

the sexual tension when we are out together is fucking incredible, we can't keep our hands of each other, always ducking out to make out, fool around and whatnot, when we get home to sleep, do things to each other that we both really like, which is something for me was always hard to find, not many girls do things that can turn me on like what she does.. before all this shit started i used to look at her when she'd walk into a room and just melt, and just go "fffffuuuuu" in my head in pure frustrration, not many girls have had that effect on me, if any at all..

Edited by Anonymous (09/26/11 08:57 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15135966 -

Don't accidentally fall into the role of being her fall back plan... her relationship parachute. You deserve to be someone's first choice. Don't forget that.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: automan]
    #15136083 -

automan said:
Don't accidentally fall into the role of being her fall back plan... her relationship parachute. You deserve to be someone's first choice. Don't forget that.


QFT.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pwnasaurus]
    #15136094 -

yeah  i kinda thought of that but pushed it into the back of my mind..

thanks

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #15136730 -

DSHSB

Edited by Vsnares.Zappa (09/26/11 12:29 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Vsnares.Zappa]
    #15138127 -

OP you did the right thing finally.  You feel terrible because you are the only one experiencing loss she is holding onto whatever sliver of decaying relationship she has left with her boyfriend so she isn't pining.  She will though when they break it off, and trust me, they will and when she does she will come a calling to you.  It could be a few months from now but when she does I wouldn't take her call.  She is trying to have her cake and eat it too.  Fucking hate that expression but it's all I could think of.  It's really disgusting when people do what she is doing.  She wants to comfort of a relationship at all times never to feel the loss of love so she seamlessly goes in and out of relationships.  This is a terrible move and it will only serve to fuck her up later.  It means she never grieves for past relationships and at some point it will all come to a head. 

Either way, she is acting really shitty by playing to whomever gives her the affection of the minute.  She is never someone you can trust.  If you know what is good for you then pine for her but don't break down and accept her inevitable texts in the coming months when things with her boyfriend dissipate.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #15138906 -

Wise words.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Bipolarbear]
    #15139074 -

Wow thankyou that actually helped a lot. Most of what you said is true.. But she has never done 'anythinbg like this' before, never cheated on anyone and she said multiple times how much she hated herself for what she was doing, I guess you could say our attraction to each other was just that strong I'm not trying to brag but I am more her type than her bf he just made the move on her years ago b/c of course I never wld. It takes two to tango and I coulkd just have easily declined her advances but I let my feelings for her get the better of me I'm just as big an asshole

I feel bad for letting this escalate. I feel bad for putting her in this position I possess the willpower to have not let this happen. Now we have a circumstance whrere I have hurt myseld with a loss perhaps even lost a really close friendship with her and disobeyed trust between her bf an I, whether he will ever find out I don't know but we were gettinbg really careless abt showing our affection in public

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15142933 -

Dude, lay off the xanax and booze, don't punish yourself.  Please find a more healthy outlet: exercise, art, music, or at least cannibis :bigjoint: trust me, you will not ever be ready for a relationship if you keep that shit up too long.

Don't blame yourself, or anyone else for that matter.  Being a moral animal is not always easy.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #15144579 -

I have had the same girl do the same thing to me 3 times now over the last 8 years. She kept saying how much we were alike. Wed talk and talk. She even hooked up with me when she was dating her first bf. But each bf, and each time, i was like the "last" option" to where i noticed she was just a branch swinger. One bf to the next and kept me in the side pocket just in case.

When i found out she got a new bf a couple months ago. I ended all contact. Forever.


Anon you deserve better. Your not her first choice, she does not like you "that" much or she would dump him for her. Your pretty close to being in the back pocket. A reserve, a fall back plan, an ego booster.


--------------------
:heart: TRIP on this :wink:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15013229/page/1


:heart:Like EDM?(Electronic Dance Music) http://www.youtube.com/user/ThisisEDM

:heart:Hardstyle Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/14951634/page/1

:heart:Trance Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15049686

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: dshow]
    #15144754 -

This thread seems much shorter than 4 pages. I have had a friends ex gf come on to me right when they broke up. But she really just wasn't my type I would say (I have no clue who is either) and I guess I'm thinking I want to associate with a whole new network rather then kinda burn my bridges. She actually called me a week ago when I was biking. I was trying to get with her friend back then who is I would consider less attractive (on the inside) but didn't get none.

Hope I wrote that right. Every situation is different. My dad says go with what you feel. But don't let that bring you down into a hole.

This is something you really can't take advice from, because I just grew up knowing these feelings. We can't change who you are or how far you'll take it. You took it pretty far already so I'm thinking your boy isn't that much of a boy to you.


--------------------
 

Edited by foodsgoodtoo (09/27/11 11:01 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: dshow]
    #15144938 -

dshow said:
I have had the same girl do the same thing to me 3 times now over the last 8 years. She kept saying how much we were alike. Wed talk and talk. She even hooked up with me when she was dating her first bf. But each bf, and each time, i was like the "last" option" to where i noticed she was just a branch swinger. One bf to the next and kept me in the side pocket just in case.

When i found out she got a new bf a couple months ago. I ended all contact. Forever.


Anon you deserve better. Your not her first choice, she does not like you "that" much or she would dump him for her. Your pretty close to being in the back pocket. A reserve, a fall back plan, an ego booster.


I can see what you're saying but i dont think this is entirely the case in my situation .

Although I can say her boyfriend could quite possibly offer a lot more than I could.. but if i were given the chance I would do so much for her. I'd love to take her away, start taking her on full blown dates, just be with her... don't think it can happen given the situation.

it's my birthday soon and she's coming and she'll be the only one there... t's going to be interesting

i already miss not having her, i really want to see her.. but i think she too realised we need to distance ourselves before things get way out of control

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15145898 -

You know how she has been coming onto you? She would do the same to you with another doood.

You were if anything an ego booster man, yea she liked you, but she clearly likes her bf more otherwise she would drop him for you.

What your doing by separating is right though.
3 situations:
  1.)I had a good friend's girl came onto me and tell me she wanted me the whole time, i didnt do it, and said we cant. I stopped hanging out with them until my friend and her broke up. Felt good.:thumbup:
 
2.)I also hooked up with a another friend's girl. I still feel bad to this day.:thumbdown:
 
3.)I have also had a friend hook up with my girl and she left me for him, to this day im still feeling that in the back of my head.:thumbdown:


Do the first positive, and don't do the last 2 negatives. Cuz it feels bad.

Either way, she had a choice, she could of dropped him and at least tried for you, but she didn't. Since she did not do everything in her ability to make it work with you, its obvious you know what you have to do. Find someone else.

This situation is very sad in a way. It sounds very similar to a story in my life. I was in love with that fucking girl. :sad: save yourself, run.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #4]
    #15145989 -

thankyou... as i said earlier she was talking about leaving him and put the motions in place but he completely freaked out and came running back and basically smothered her i think and... well i dunno, i know what you're saying.. she was tlking for a while about leaving him and us hooking up.. but again as i said because of how tight nit our friend hroup is it just wldnt happen. she would not do this with another guy and has had many oppurtunities to (she is gorgeous and is hit on constantly) and never would.. this is completely out of character for her it was just our attraction
in saying that, we have kept our distance.. we havent seen each other this wk... which has killed me but we have been messaging flat out.. keeping it as innocent..  know that when i see her its going to be really hard.. idk what to do

i really have strong feelings for this girl like none i have had for a long long time..

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15146011 -

I accidently posted #5 as anon lol... GL:aweman:


--------------------
:heart: TRIP on this :wink:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15013229/page/1


:heart:Like EDM?(Electronic Dance Music) http://www.youtube.com/user/ThisisEDM

:heart:Hardstyle Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/14951634/page/1

:heart:Trance Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15049686

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #15146222 -

moonrockmushy said:
Dude, lay off the xanax and booze, don't punish yourself.  Please find a more healthy outlet: exercise, art, music, or at least cannibis :bigjoint: trust me, you will not ever be ready for a relationship if you keep that shit up too long.

Don't blame yourself, or anyone else for that matter.  Being a moral animal is not always easy.


very good advice to be heeding from moon here.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: filthydee]
    #15150991 -

dude, i am so confused. this is a really bad situation. it looks like you are her second choice, like some posters already said.... and then in the original post. she's only noticed the spark for six months. you for four years. get away from her homes. she's acting on her loneliness in her relationship.

but you probably won't. you've already let it go too far. sucks man.

now you have to wait for the fires to burn out. there's only two scenarios.....

a) she will eventually tell her bf, your friend, about the whole shebang. big fight between them. tension with you, probably a fight. all friends in that tight circle thinking you're both assholes and shun you. maybe they'll forgive you. who knows..

b) they break up and then everyone still gets mad because now you're picking up your friends scraps. not really saying she's a scrap. but you got second picks. it doesn't matter how much attraction you have for each other. then, probably some shunning. maybe forgiveness.

my advice, cool it the fuck down. it's gonna make everyone feel uncomfortable. and she's not in her right mind. and you're pining. too much man... makes my stomach queasy. you sound like a really sweet guy. don't hurt yourself over this. get out in the world and stop partying. you need to think. 

and what the hell. how the hell do you have so many friends but be alone on your bday?!


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15151012 -

what you say is true, i dont understand the female mind so idk how it happened, i had an atraction for her when i first saw her but i kept it quiet and never said anything about it.. my ex used to get shitty when i said i had a thing for her

i dont knwo where her feelings came from, i dont mean to actually blow my own horn here but it has happened a few times where i just completely dont pick up on signals from girls that they are interested until its too late or something bad happens and by that time im too smitten or w/e to stop it. im a complete emotional pushover in these instances.. there has been afew times girls have come onto me saying things like "theres just something about you" because I NEVER actively seek out girls, dont pick up.. ever... i suffer droughts consistently all the time unless i'm actually seeing someone, which is never.

i hate to think of me as a second choice but it is a harsh reality, before i had a massive crush on her but i could deal with it, now i have the same feelings but am suffering a loss and a kind of rejection or something

idk im going to see her tonight and try and talk about it but i get the feling its going to be realy hard to talk about.. and awkward.. idk i really want to sort this out, i keep having visions of me and her hooking up and being together and every time i know she's going to be somewhere same as me i look forward to it because i just want to talk to her and hang out with her because i really enjoy her company its ridiculous, and i know she enjoys mine we've always gotten along like ahouse on fire, maybe she's subconsciously picked up on my feelings for her through eye contact or w/e fuck knows

meh im just rambling

thanks for support, this is a very easy scenario to be just be flamed and called a criminal.. emotions can get so messed up in these kinds of situations

she said she would never tell him because she knows just how much damage it would do to everything, and i trust her on that, i make her out to seem like a real bad guy or something i guess, she isn't.. it's a combination of the both of us and a situation, i dont put any blame on her, i feel bad for letting it get to this point

blah blah blah

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #15151073 -

no way is anyone a bad guy. well maybe.... because you two are already going behind his back with all the emotions. i consider that a cheating flag. eep. but hey, feelings ARE feelings. no one can change them.

but she needs to buck up and stop worrying about how hurt her bf is going to feel. she's being a fucking pussy. tell her i said that. heh. seriously. she needs to choose. and if she doesn't it's going to hurt everyone around. bc what if you two keep at it? you are definately going to get caught. no doubt about that. bc you're going to want more and she's not going to give it to you. bc of the fear of being put in the relationship doghouse? that's total bullshit and i know i'd be pissed if i were you. and then bf is going to be pissed. then she'll feel shitty. and EVERYONE is going to get mad.... real mad.

tell her to choose. or stop. she needs to do it and you need to keep off her. put that dick away!! and stop being a pushover! and i say this in the nicest way possible.

good luck hombre.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo] * 1
    #15151077 -

i mean, its going to already hurt.... but if it continues... it's going to hurt like..... on an *other word not being epic* proportions.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15151173 -

Damn this seems so familiar. I can relate to like every part, even the girls like me cause i dont like anyone thing. Ive been in a relationships for the last 11 months tho. But anyways the first half i disagreeded with you being an asshole because i had to hook up with a girl while i was dating someone it just like had to happen u could feel the sparks. And now weve been together for 11 months lol.

And omg our group of friends is like the show friends and that 70's show also. Ohh and the girl i was dating i dont see anymore but one of the kids in our crew likes her, and my girlfriend became part of the crew. Its totally cool with the kid btw.

Anyways about halfway through this thread it started to seem like you were a second option. During this past week where you guys havent really talked do u still look like u like her? I dont what advice to give right now im curious about more details.

Do you know if they have been having sex this whole time you two have been getting all cuddly?

That seems pretty important.

I feel like i gave a shitty response but i do wanna help out i feel like i can relate


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15151821 -

pachoo you gave some good scenarios lol.


But she has chosen. The other guy. She is still with the other guy. Anon is just an ego booster at this point. I feel sorry for the guy.

Anon your going to talk to her about it? about what? tell her how you feel? she knows all this, she chooses her bf over you. She was just testing the land to see if the grass was greener on the other side. Apparently it is not and she will remain with him. Even if they break up and she gets with you. It wont be because of you. It will be because they just did not work and you are a tree to lean on. Remember your #2 not #1. Its such a sad story man. I feel like im just repeating and everyone is repeating these words by now, but its worth it. You must accept this and put her in the back  burners. She is not worth it because you are not her first choice.

Run away. You can really end up hurting from this for a long time, it can get to you and screw with your mind. Save yourself. Do not let yourself get hurt anymore:sad:


--------------------
:heart: TRIP on this :wink:http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15013229/page/1


:heart:Like EDM?(Electronic Dance Music) http://www.youtube.com/user/ThisisEDM

:heart:Hardstyle Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/14951634/page/1

:heart:Trance Music thread http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15049686

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: dshow]
    #15152285 -

Just find another bitch. your buddy sounds like a baller you could have future prospect with.


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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #15152287 -

Or just fuck the lady and see how that goes.


--------------------
 

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #15156690 -

dshow, yeah it seems that way pretty much the more i think about it. i kind of want to smack him in the head. in a nice way. then i want to smack her. then i want to smack the bf.

this story is giving me a tummy ache. why are people so afraid of telling the truth and acting on it?


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15189117 -

Hey so whats new


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15207775 -

well she broke up with her bf... and we've spent a lot of time together.. and we're going on a holiday soon together which will be interesting, it's getting weird but i cannot keep my mind off her

will talk later

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15207844 -

Oh looks like you got the green light.

Even my friends ex gf wants to hang out with me

I'm like fuck dat.

I'm close to my friend. kinda. I think he thinks I will fuck her tho. prolly not. He's been stressing. Gotta expand your network just like that pussy mang.


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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15207859 -

Its good to hear, im curious how this ends up. How is it getting weird, weirder than before?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15207891 -

it's not weird, it's just a strange scenario. i said to her a few days ago i was frustrated because i want her so bad but cant have her and she said "you do"

she kept saying she can't stop thinking about me and is always sneaking off so she can be in my company, she has done a lot of other things for me lately which have been awesome... i don't know if i want to say it but i am falling in love with her pretty heavily...

the worst thing is she dumped her bf, my friend, for an oppurtunity for us to be together which could probably never eventuate because of the situation, we will always be sneaking around to be together..

i really really like her, and she feels the same, we have spent and are planning on spending a lot  of time together in the future.. it will be interesting to see if it pans out or her feelings die for me as she soon realised i'm really not all that great lol

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15207948 -

Don't think that man................... you got her. Go from there.


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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #15210625 -

Think of all the wonderful things you could have done in the past 4 months other than fawn over this silly cow.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #15210864 -

:crazy:

I am seeing her tonight

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15212483 -

So OP, assuming you do get together with her
What exactly makes you think she's not going to do THE EXACT SAME THING to you that she did to her BF when the next best thing comes around?

All "chemistry" bullshit aside....
If she'll cheat on him to be with you and sneak around behind his back
She will MOST CERTAINLY do the exact same thing to you.
If she wanted to be with you and was even a halfway decent person, she should have broke it off with her boyfriend from the get-go.
But she didn't. Therefore...

You are a terrible friend for doing what you did and she is an opportunistic grass-is-always-greener skank from the sounds of it.

These situations never work out well like you think they will.
I've seen this exact same scenario play out with real life friends many times.
It always ends in disaster.

Just keeping it real.

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #15212553 -

you are absolutely right... i await my heart to be smashed, and yet another reason donated to the fund of reasons to kill myself

if this fucks up, i think i actually will

i dont think i will ever find true happiness in love

literally, i am :foreveralone: guy

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15212690 -

Not necessarily. I'd say she is way more at fault then you are.
Still that's a dick move.
Rocky relationship or not..... If I was said BF, I would probably smash your face in before kicking her to curb.

Just find a different chick. One without a BF that isn't almost definitely going to cheat on you at some point in the future.

I'm just trying to help you. 99% chance if you follow through with this it ends up in heartbreak for you.

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #7]
    #15212845 -

i fucked one of my friends girlfriend before... he was away on a business trip... i stopped by his house to candyflip with her one morning... one thing led to another and the next thing you know we're both undressing each other in his bedroom... we fucked all afternoon... we both knew how fucked up this was but did it anyway... afterwords we were able to maintain the same friendship with one another as if nothing ever happened, not once did we ever bring it up to one another...

that experience ranks high on the the list of the most fucked up things i've ever done in my life...

Kensho :psychsplit:

Edited by cateyes (10/12/11 01:14 PM)

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Re: friends gf [Re: cateyes]
    #15213818 -

anon, don't be so pessimistic and hard on yourself. there are plenty of girls out there. you're in one city. and you're still young.

have some confidence mayne!!!

:hissyfit: 

and @ cateyes

:nono: tsk tsk. but at least you feel bad about it.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15213929 -

Anonymous said:
i dont think i will ever find true happiness in love

literally, i am :foreveralone: guy


while i am sad to hear that, just know that these things are like that by choice. and you can choose to change them at any time.  :murray:


--------------------
I'm stupid, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is smart.
I'm ugly, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is beautiful.
I'm a loser, Falcon91Wolvrn03 is a winner.
Someday, I hope to be like Falcon91Wolvrn03 but secretly know I never will.

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Re: friends gf [Re: Mr.PhilCybin]
    #15214162 -

Quote:
i dont think i will ever find true happiness in love




There is no such thing as "true happiness" and love is just a word that means different things to different people.  The type of love that sustains us has very little to do with physical attraction and sex.  You are just confused and afraid to view yourself as a solitary, imperfect creature.

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #15232135 -

things are odd, they are broken up but he is really clingy to her and is constantly trying to go and hang out with her and what not, she said its really frustrating because she wants to be spending time with me but he is always calling her "where r u/what are you doing/who are u with" of course she never lies and says "i'm with 'anon1'" and whatnot but bleh

she sent me a really long msg last night (out of character for her) saying how she would much rather be spending time with me... but can't cut off all friendship ties with him as of their history and whatnot so feels obliged to at least be friends with him which adds to the fuckedupness of the situtation

fuck i dunno

i do know tho that he is still adamant in trying to keep some sort of relationshup with her, which she does not want.

anyway, we are going on a holiday together next week interstate which will be good but will somewheat weird

but i do love her company
and the more i look at her and hang out with her the more i feel in love with her

and basically, fuck all y'all naysayers

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #15232149 -

also, please also note we have never had sex... as much as we have ended up in bed together and all over each other i've always stopped before we were just about to go all the way, it's that point and i've always had a lot of difficulty with sexuality and am very apprehensive to let sexual relationships develop. i never seek out sex and it is never high on my agenda. i feel a personality kinship with this girl, i am attracted to her personality above all . she is an amazing girl and i never just thought 'damn i'd bang that' or anything i have always seen past that and just thought she was  an amazing girl

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Re: friends gf [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15232201 -

DSHSB


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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: foodsgoodtoo]
    #15232392 -

anon troll removed

I'm not trying to be a total prick. You seem like a good dude aside from this situation. But I take that stuff seriously. You posted this so I feel like I have the right to post my real opinion. I have never once, online said anything so rude. Friends are my everything and the mean the world to me. They are all I have. I keep my friends close and they keep me close. But if you and your friends aren't that close and work differently than disregard my first sentence with the insults.

Love can do weird things to people, so I understand. Its a very strong drug. But the rules still apply ya know ? I thinks it's fine having sex with your friends girlfriend. It's all on how you want your life to pan out. You have to pick and choose what means the most to you.

You can feel when you cross the line. Do you feel it ? I did it once when I was young by talking shit on my friend and shooting him down to a girl that we both wanted and I learned the most important lesson of my life. DONT FUCK YOUR FRIENDS OVER.

If you and the kid aren't that close and you would rather be with this girl than have his friendship, forget the opinions and comments of your other peers. They will understand if they are good friends, with a good explanation from you, your friend and his girl.
If he doesn't mean a lot to you, meet up with him and say you you both have feelings for one another and you two were intimate(in one way or another) and that it's been that way for a while and it's got to be solved now. Those two will break it off and you two will hook up. It's the least painful and probably the most respectful way to handle this from here on out.

If you two hook up, count on loosing that friend no matter what. Even if the whole "we are still cool and i still wanna kick it" bullshit is said.

I couldn't sleep knowing I fucked up and could wake up to a game over phone call from my rightfully so, hurt, pissed off and betrayed friend of mine. good luck :thumbup:

Edited by koraks (10/16/11 01:29 PM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #15232400 -

I like this post. When I posted DSHSB it made me chuckle and worth it.

But not worth it if you were to screw a friend over who was a true friend to you.

And I don't know some parts of me says there was enough posts stating the obvious.


--------------------
 

Edited by foodsgoodtoo (10/16/11 03:05 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: foodsgoodtoo] * 1
    #15232423 -

Also dude. I can tell you are a good guy and that your little mind was just hijacked by this woman. I honestly understand. I'm Anon #9. the asshole. But yeah. You seem like considerate and concerned person that acknowledges and regrets his actions. Which is more than what a lot of others can say for themselves. I hope you get your gal and I hope your friendship with your friend doesn't get to turbulent and that save face with your peers. I honestly do.

I have high standards(I'm also a hypocrite) but I respect that you were wasted, in bed, getting cuddled and smooched on by a girl that you have had undying love for quite some time and still made the right choice and decided not to have sex with her. 

Now that I think about it, if you explained this to your friend, depending on his personality, there is a good chance that he will get over what you did. If you did that to me, I think I might be able to come to terms with you and eventually brush it off since you made the right choice and refused to take it any further. Especially considering your circumstances. My first post... I constantly deal with pretty bad back pain so I get moody. I apologize. I could have handled that better.

Tell me more about this girl. Or if you already did, what page is it on ?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #15232431 -

I only see 3 pages because mine is set to 50 posts per page...

what do you want to know about her..?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15232438 -

Why do you like her ? what is she into ? what do you have in common ? is she into music ? a fashion girl ? well kept ? chill ? does she like drugs a lot ? Hey listen. About the "walking trash" I take that back. Really. I was super irritated about something else and popped off on you. I'm sorry. Really. I was just spouting off. Not sober either. I want you to understand that I honestly didn't mean that, since i did what I could to come to terms with what you did to your friend. I have a chill demeanor and never insult people, so it sticks with me when I do. sorry. I can tell you are a good person.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #15232441 -

Do you forgive me for being a prick ?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #15232447 -

dude relax

it's fine, you're just another anonymous flame amongst awall of flames lol
we have plenty in common, down to the sense oof humour and everything,

i just really dig her demeanor.. shes real fuckin cute... she's not pretentious/doesn't give much of a fuck about her appearance (doesnt get made up too much.... her idea of getting dressed up is putting her hair up) in fact we sit out alot and laugh at the 'babes' that parade around and are always taking the piss out of them she's chill as fuck and her/my idea of a good night is sitting around eating cheese drinking wine and watching cheesy shit.. shes a super cool chick so its safe to say im attracted to her on a lot of different levels.. we have been to a lot of shows together, i gave her acid for the first time when we went and saw primus together and she loved it, we've had a lot of fun together and i dunno i just eeally fuckiing enjoy her company if not for my feelings shes like my best friend at the moment :P

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15232450 -

lol fuck the anon feature shld automatically be ticked in this forum lol

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15232467 -

Oh okay. Well really. It's not okay to me because I insulted someone I don't know anything about. I didn't come here to flame and never do. Ive been single for about as long as you have to and I know it's hard man. It really is. For most people it's really unhealthy and it fucks with your head bad. It seems like the longer it goes on for the harder it's going to be. And in the end of all this, it's just another story. Stuff like this is so common and it just happens ya know ? Nobody is perfect. I have major flukes that are worse than your wrong doing, in it's own way. So I really shouldn't have even given my two cent's.

Forums can be harsh as fuck. Seeing how no one really knows one another, and then asking for advice on a complicated personal issue seems like a recipe for disaster (flame fest) especially with a anon feature. Know what I mean ? when I post on the web I'm always cautious of the content of what I discuss because I take things very personal so forums can really get to me if they don't go how I want them to. Which is fucking lame. but eh. It's who I am.

Yea I agree about the anon. I made a habit out of clicking it before I type anything at all lol

She sounds cool and she sounds like the kind of girl that is worth it. So what is your plan Anon#1 ? what are you going to do about your situation. I wish you would take care of all this as soon as you can. Like tomorrow night if you could. The sooner the better. Since i was seeing red when I checked out your thread, I ignored the humane side of your story. Seeing how they have  been on the rocks for so long and their relationship was never really to great, it makes your actions seem a little bit better. With relationships there is always collateral damage. Hopefully he will take it as good as he can.

Will your peers try to see eye to eye with what's on with you three or will you and your gal be condemned ?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #8]
    #15232477 -

If we openly came out we would be ostracised pretty much by all of our friends... but to be honest... i dont know how much i'd care about that
i grow weary of our friend s circles stale lifestyle, same old same old

she has already gone interstate i am meeting up with her late in the week and we are roadtripping, we are staying at her brothers house but he is away and as it turns out his housemate is away too and we have the place to ourselves so i feel odd abt that as i said im really really nervous and apprehensive about taking it to the 'next step' sex and to be honest i dont know if imready as i said i have quite a few sexual issues and it takes a long time for me to trust and feel comfortable with someone (theres nothing like physically wrong with me or anything i just have trust issues or something i guess)

and yeah you are totally right about 'the longer it goes on for the harder it's going to be.' its fucked man i feel like the longer is staty alone the more damage i do to myselg emotionally but im so fucking inept and incapable of seeking out a mate that it gets me to this oin t

im so fucking sick of being alone, and now ive found some kind of compatible person who i love being around and am always seeking out her company but i pay this fucking stupid price of it being this stupid fucking love triangle thing

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15234005 -

Do the girl and guy still have sex? Were they having sex recently before they broke up?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15234785 -

No

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15237991 -

dude, i seriously see no flames in this thread for some reason, everyone has a truthful opinion.

i already said this before and it looks like you feel it might happen, you two being together will send a rift through your friends. that's all there is to be said about that.

if she wants to cut off ties with her ex, she needs to do it.

you're infatuation with each other has consequences, either people can deal or not. i see no reason to pussy foot in the background.

but i'm really super happy for you two being together. she seems like a super chill awesome chick and you seem like a sweet dude.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15238530 -

I was really close friends with one of my brother's close friends, she started hanging out and getting close with my house mate and she started coming over to party every weekend with us. Meanwhile her boyfriend would always come onto me whenever we were out, he would lean in and whisper to me that he wanted to fuck me. It started getting me thinking about bad things. I tried to keep it out of my mind but I would always wonder about what it would be like. But I have so much love for his girlfriend, she's one of those people everyone absolutely loves, gets everyone in the room laughing. Anyway she came over to party with the girls one weekend and she's a hairdresser, and I needed a haircut bad, so she happily cut it. We headed out to the club and I was so wasted I lost the girls pretty much straight away. I didn't really mind as I was so drunk I was going to head home soon anyway. As I was leaving the club her boyfriend came up to me and started hitting on me once more, I was so wasted that I agreed to go home with him. We got back to his place and one thing led to another pretty quickly, I was so scared that she would just walk through his front door looking for him that I asked if we could move to the bedroom, he didn't seem to be worried at all but happily obliged. We moved a chest of drawers against his door and I pretty much passed out after that, I can't remember much, if anything but I woke up with my underwear all twisted up and confused. I left first thing in the morning and came home feeling like absolute shit, it didn't even matter if we did or didn't, I think we most likely would have, but the fact was I was in bed with her boyfriend and it killed me to think I had done such a thing. I talked to my housemate who had become close with her and she agreed with my decision to tell her, I had a feeling that she would have told her even if I didn't considering how close they had gotten. So I told her the truth about what had happened. She instantly hated me and I don't blame her.
I waited a long time before I even tried to talk to her, I'm from a small town so everyone found out and I just hung my head in shame. When it had calmed down a bit I saw her in the club and started talking to her, I ended up in tears telling her how sorry I was and told her that if one thing good had come out of the situation was that her cheating boyfriend was now out of the picture and that she deserved much better. She turned to me and said, well I'm actually still with him, and she turned and walked off.
I was gob smacked, forgive him and not me, what's the difference? Obviously she had only heard his side of the story, but seriously she must have been blind.
Anyway that was about 4 years ago now, water is under the bridge and she can say a word or two to me now. I'm sure she doesn't think the most of me but she can tolerate me, probably because she knows how much i regret it and she's so close to my brother to not see me around often.
But here's a twist, I had a heap of old video footage I was going through before leaving to go travelling a few months ago, it was from one of our house parties that the girl and her boyfriend were at, as well as my boyfriend at the time, i was going around recording people and came to him to interview him, he asked me to take the camera away (and i hadn't even watched this footage since i took it those many years ago), i kept the camera on record but held it to the ground and you can hear him whispering in my ear how badly he wanted to fuck me.
Hmmmm I wish I could only have shown her when it happened, might have changed her mind about him sooner.. thankfully they're not still together!!

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #15239194 -

I, "anon number 9" got a warning for flaming. Which I still disagree with, but I replied to the mod and he explained it and I see where he is coming from. Although I had good intentions, my words were harsh and I guess the mod just doesn't really like my attitude. Which is fine. He was cool and I understand why he gave me a warning. He sorta made me realize that the Sex forums should maybe be treated a bit differently than other forums since sex and relationship could be more likely a sensitive subject for people than acid and ecstasy is. If ya know what I mean.

I prolly won't be postin around heya no mo and if I do, I'm going to watch my words VERY closely.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: CounterCulturest]
    #15239448 -

CounterCulturest said:
I, "anon number 9" got a warning for flaming. Which I still disagree with, but I replied to the mod and he explained it and I see where he is coming from. Although I had good intentions, my words were harsh and I guess the mod just doesn't really like my attitude. Which is fine. He was cool and I understand why he gave me a warning. He sorta made me realize that the Sex forums should maybe be treated a bit differently than other forums since sex and relationship could be more likely a sensitive subject for people than acid and ecstasy is. If ya know what I mean.

I prolly won't be postin around heya no mo and if I do, I'm going to watch my words VERY closely.


It wasnt me that warned you, but I wouldve done the same. It wasnt really what you said as much as using the anon function to say it. If you're going to give borderline trolling/harsh advice, own up to it with your screen name. Don't hide behind anon to say it. If you'd like to discuss it further, feel free to pm me, but let's stop hijacking this thread.


--------------------
No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15240534 -

it's super tricky... she is still friends with her ex/bf/whatever and he is still insistent on trying to get a relationship back with her.. she said going away is going to be really good because she can get away from it, and it gives us an oppurtunity to hang out which is what we've been wanting to do for ages without having to sneak around

its pretty fucked really, and it's a horrible thing but i dunno i always have much more fun hanging out with her than i do anyone else, there's this other huge project going on in my life right now which should take all my time and energy but i can't sleep at night and i can't focus because all i can think of is hanging out with her so idk what else to do but just follow what my heart is telling me and just be with her

blech

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #9]
    #15240548 -

anon10 i have heard that story happen a few times before its pretty fucked and i find in a lot of cases girls are tended to forgiv e their boyfriends over friends im sure i could try and pull apart the psychology of it but in both instances ive heard of it happening the friend aways gets exiled and the couple remain on better ground

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15241438 -

Anonymous said:
anon10 i have heard that story happen a few times before its pretty fucked and i find in a lot of cases girls are tended to forgiv e their boyfriends over friends im sure i could try and pull apart the psychology of it but in both instances ive heard of it happening the friend aways gets exiled and the couple remain on better ground



Which really makes no sense right, if my girlfriend i plan on being with for a long long time(forever probably :smile:) cheated on me i dont think theres any way i would stay with her, it would be her trying to make up for it forever and it wouldnt be the same. Why pursue the relationship like that


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15241444 -

When are you going on that road trip that sounds like its gunna be a good experience.


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15242807 -

Quote:
its pretty fucked really, and it's a horrible thing but i dunno i always have much more fun hanging out with her than i do anyone else, there's this other huge project going on in my life right now which should take all my time and energy but i can't sleep at night and i can't focus because all i can think of is hanging out with her so idk what else to do but just follow what my heart is telling me and just be with her


Dude, I hate to say it, but this just sounds like you are infatuated with the girl and I think there are some other wierd psychological things going on as far as you lacking confidence, integrity, and respect for so-called friends.

I would say the best thing to do is back off from the situation and gauge her reaction, see if you see things differently after a while.  Use your project as an excuse to distance yourself from her, then see what has changed.

Doing things on your own is a confidence builder anyway and will give you the skills you need to meet other cool girls.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #15243906 -

moonrockmushy said:
Quote:
its pretty fucked really, and it's a horrible thing but i dunno i always have much more fun hanging out with her than i do anyone else, there's this other huge project going on in my life right now which should take all my time and energy but i can't sleep at night and i can't focus because all i can think of is hanging out with her so idk what else to do but just follow what my heart is telling me and just be with her


Dude, I hate to say it, but this just sounds like you are infatuated with the girl and I think there are some other wierd psychological things going on as far as you lacking confidence, integrity, and respect for so-called friends.

I would say the best thing to do is back off from the situation and gauge her reaction, see if you see things differently after a while.  Use your project as an excuse to distance yourself from her, then see what has changed.

Doing things on your own is a confidence builder anyway and will give you the skills you need to meet other cool girls.



This. But are you willing to try it cause it sounds like a good idea but i doubt you will try it.


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15245081 -

Probably too far deep in now... beyond the point of no return..?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15245866 -

Ya it was just a suggestion, if you continue what your doing i think this is gunna work out. If it doesnt it probably wasnt gunna anyways and if it does its clearly been meant to be for some time now. And youll be thinking why didnt i do this sooner lol.

Actually either way sooner would be better.


--------------------
From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15274490 -

well I just got back home from our road trip away. it was... really fucking good. we had a great time. i got to catch up with some friends as well, but we went to a heap of stuff, the ballet, a world-renowned vineyard/art gallery, a heap of restaraunts, ate, drank and had a blast.

it was kind of fucked though, every night we'd go out and have dinner and a few wines and get home and ravage each other (no sex) and then the next day wake up and she'd be getting hardcore messages and phonecalls from her ex... she's told him she wants space and whatnot... idk... only last night did we actually start having sex and then i just kind of freaked out and had to stop because i couldn't go on with the shit rattling in my head.. she asked whyy i stopped and i just said i couldn't do it with the guilt, we fell asleep and woke up and she said sorry for trying but i said sorry for stopping,... like we wake up the next day and (she told me as well) we want nothing more than to like grab each other, hold hands, kiss or w/e but feel this odd giult or something holding back like "should i/shouldnt i" or something

things are kind of weird, we had so much fun together and i fucking loved hanging out with her and spending time together but then she'd get like a email or phonecall and like a heacvy weight of 'wtf are we doing" would come ovver us, then we'd sort of keep on and start having fun again. i am falling the fuck in love with this girl and it's getting worse... i tried to tell her i was falling in love with her but didnt think she'd need the drama of having to deal with that too, i dont know what to do from here.. i didnt think w'd have so much fun together but it was awesome... we laughed and carried on and had a blast. its just fucked the situation, i can't even look at her now without kind of melting.. she is getting more and more beautiful every time i look at her. she had a really heavy phoncall from her ex and kind of went all quiet for half a day and went out by herself for a waalk, then came back and we went to dinner, i feel like i need to give her space or something and i cant really act as counsel or anything because i have conflifct of interest... i almost want to grab her and just run away with her or somethingm it feels like we were meant to be together or something but like it just cant happen which is so fucking frustrating because i want nothing more than her

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15274630 -

I think your space idea sounds pretty good, but i dont think you need to feel that guilty about having sex its almost the same as what your doing now. You guys are going to enjoy it i dont think you should leave her hanging on the sex it probably made her feel really bad. Like she messed up

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15274672 -

problem is that I don't really want to give her space, miss her already. she mentioned today that she wished we didn't stop last night (was still horny etc) I don't want to give her space I want to be with her which is pretty fucked. dunno how i'll sleep tonight..

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15274717 -

So dont give her space and go all the way next time. I dont think theres much difference between what your doing now and sex anyways. Have sex and then sleep well in each others arms

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15274837 -

i guess the punishment here is just dealing with the guilt during

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15274883 -

I dont think you should feel guilty during the sex tho, just enjoy it

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15274889 -

Enjoy it for the same reason you enjoy hanging out, you guys are so close it can be amazing

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15279412 -

you talk like you know me :P

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15279537 -

Lol your right i sound creepy, You just have the most interesting story ive read on here. Ill leave you alone go have fun lol :tongue:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #5]
    #15283060 -

well i am going to hang out with her and her friends tonight andhave dinner/drinks

she sent me a message before and called me "daddy" in the txt which was really weird

and last night we were talking about kids (friends kids) and something came up about drinks and I said "I'd be down for that..... the drinks I mean, not the kids..." and she started lughing and said "good save, I was just about to start flushing my pills down the toilet"


heh

she's such a cutie

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15283637 -

no more anon? haha


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15283719 -

whoops :P

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15283741 -

i know who you are!!! hahaha

but seriously enjoy yourself. you two seem like you would be a cute couple.

it feels weird when people call you "mommy" or "daddy" when they're into you. haha unless you are of course... a mommy or daddy.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15283744 -

i always attributed that to girls with daddy issues

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15283766 -

On a scale of one to greasy this thread is right up there.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Jwlst]
    #15289028 -

I spoke to my mum about this and she talked to one of her friends who is a psychologist and she said we might as well just go for it, like keep doing what we're doing... can't help how you feel about someone, and sooner or later the other guy is going to find out its just a matter of when, something i am not looking forward to at all. it is such a horrible thing like an elephant in the corner all the time when we are together like last night we went out and hung out with some of her old friends and we were sort of like not doing any PDA stuff because you know, its kind of awkward when ppl are asking about the ex or something

fucking horrible... theres so many things i want to do or say with/to her but feel like i just can't or i dont have the right to or something.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15289150 -

So how is the other guy doing?

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #15289159 -

not too well i dont think... i havent seen a lot of my friends for qiute a while now and tbh i dont know if i actually reallly miss them or anything... feels kind of weird

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15289179 -

Yeah well friends come and go.  That happened to me to for no reason I can figure out.  It sounds like you got your family and thats all that matters.

Just go for it dude, you've got nothing to lose! 

Don't live in guilt, do your best to make things right, but maybe the best thing is to move on and make new friends.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #6]
    #15289186 -

i have plenty of other circles of friends, these ones are kinda my 'main ones' or something... but it wouldnt be hard for me to move away and 'start again' (kinda done it a few times anyway)

the other day i got home from her place, i was in the toilet and my mum has a bunch of those kind of motivational quotes all over the toilet door and one of them was a list of how to live your life and one of them was "if a relationship has to be a secret... you shouldn't be in it" it kinda stuck out like dogs balls to me


i really love this girl

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15298192 -

they've been broken up a few weeks now, we've been hanging out virtually non stop. the ex is really adamant on getting back together with her... but she doesn't want a bar of it.. we spoke last night and she said she could really see us working together as a relationship but seriously it would be next to impossible with that in the background behind us, no doubt raging. he sent me a message saying basically stay away, why am i lingering around her, she's the love of his life etc, and i kind of got worried... i dunno... i feel like it's worth pursuing a relationship with this girl, in fact i really fucking want to but i feel there is no avenue for us to go down for it to happen..

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15307219 -

i think you should grow some balls. you pretty much love her, she cares deeply about you. the only one in the way is the ex. because he's a bit heart broken. don't be afraid of your feelings towards one another.

i wouldn't flaunt in the guys face but maybe i would talk to him about it. tell him she cares for you and you care for her, and you're sorry it ended between them. but don't know how much anger the guy has pent up, you might get punched in the face. but seriously, what's one punch for a happy relationship? i'd totally get into a girl fight with my fiance's ex, she was crazy though but i know how to fight. i believe of fighting for what i believe in and what i want. there's no shame in that.

once you get over this hurdle with the ex, then you two can go public and get on with it.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: pachoo]
    #15307875 -

pachoo said:
i think you should grow some balls. you pretty much love her, she cares deeply about you. the only one in the way is the ex. because he's a bit heart broken. don't be afraid of your feelings towards one another.

i wouldn't flaunt in the guys face but maybe i would talk to him about it. tell him she cares for you and you care for her, and you're sorry it ended between them. but don't know how much anger the guy has pent up, you might get punched in the face. but seriously, what's one punch for a happy relationship? i'd totally get into a girl fight with my fiance's ex, she was crazy though but i know how to fight. i believe of fighting for what i believe in and what i want. there's no shame in that.

once you get over this hurdle with the ex, then you two can go public and get on with it.


I dont think its going to be just a fight lol, this kid was his good friend or something. But yah what he said just go for her everything its way to late to consider any other option


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From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15311976 -

In all honesty I think it would come down to me probably getting my ass kicked, which I would deserve. There would be no talking to him about it.. it would just be incredibly awkward.

it would result in me having to quit my job and move away, or he would have to do the same. we work together and see each other a lot so yeah one of us would have to go, and i'm almost betting it would be him as he has been talking about it for a while now... or if he decides to make things incredibly hard for me (woudn't blame him) then I would have to go.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #15311982 -

edit: i posted in the wrong thread :shrug:


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From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

Edited by remember_me (11/02/11 02:56 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15311991 -

So dont tell him i guess, most people find out eventually i think though


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From my backyard :smile: photocred my GF

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: remember_me]
    #15312521 -

well i hope he leaves then. it would be good for him. and for the both of you. it seems like you guys aren't even close anymore. i mean, he told you to stay away from her. and honestly, i would kick your ass too. haha but people get over it and that's life.

you and this girl really seem to be good together and they weren't. no one's fault.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16538058 -

Anonymous said:
In all honesty I think it would come down to me probably getting my ass kicked, which I would deserve. There would be no talking to him about it.. it would just be incredibly awkward.

it would result in me having to quit my job and move away, or he would have to do the same. we work together and see each other a lot so yeah one of us would have to go, and i'm almost betting it would be him as he has been talking about it for a while now... or if he decides to make things incredibly hard for me (woudn't blame him) then I would have to go.


I just got out of a somewhat similar situation except I was in his situation. We were working together, building a business that was going to very soon (within a year) have us both completely set for life. My girlfriend of 5 years left me and within a week, started hooking up with my best friend and in two, moved in with him. And this was all after they promised that my friendship was more important than them being together (I had called them both out on their bullshit), which to be honest is more of the reason why I was so pissed. I went to his house shortly after that when she was in class, completely with the intention of beating him until his face was rearranged and he could barely breathe because his ribs were poking into his lungs. But when I got there, I couldn't do it, because I love him too. So instead, I cracked him so hard in the stomach that he was lying on the ground struggling to breathe for a couple minutes and then I left. This was about a month and a half ago now. I'm still bitter, I never hang around either of them anymore, but I don't hate them. Quite the opposite. I still love both of them but I can't stand to be around them right now. I know I'll get over it but it is going to take a lot of time... Go for it, dude. Love can be a bitch sometimes, but me n her weren't meant to be together, and obviously your friend wasn't meant to be with that chick.

edit: Hmm just saw that this is a really old post. Well I'd like to know what choice you made and how it worked out.

Edited by Anonymous (07/16/12 05:19 AM)

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #16538084 -

I've been meaning to update this for quite a while now.

Well me and the girl are together. Things are going pretty well. She came clean to him not long ago about her feelings towards me, and he was ok with it. In fact he seems to have taken it really well. We are no longer friends, I havent spoken to any of that crowd for a long time now. Things are pretty icy there but me and the girl are really happy together. Things are going great and I'm moving in with her in a couple of weeks.

HE said he is "as ok as he can be" about us getting together if I just go and talk to him about it. "man up" so to speak. I am planning on doing this, I don't expect to receive the same warm reception she did about it and I'm expecting a quite heated discussion and a while ago he actually said he wanted to "thump me" which is quite expected. She hasn't told him we are actually 'together' as that would cause all kinds of untold drama, but as far as he knows, it looks like we 'will be together' if that makes sense, it still feels shit that it's a lie, but she says she feels a whole lot better now that she has come clean about it. and i told her that it was  a huge step for her to take to do that, and now it's just up to me about how I go about talking to him aout it. i am really nervous as can be expected, obviously ive sacrificed a lot of friendships for this girl, but i think in the long run i will be happy. if we break up, that's going to be really tough but i have other friends and other lives  i can lead elsewhere.

Her and him are still both friends she said she didnt want to lose his friendship over it, he cant hate her about it as much as me.

We have done lots of things together so far, gone travelling and had some great times. Things are going really well, and I'm really glad I pursued this and let it happen, I'm the happiest I've been in a long time. And I think I make her happy too. I know that he has been left in the dust but to be honest it was probably for the best for him, he said he always felt tied down by it and missed his freedom of being single and being able to up and travel whenever he wanted, which he is looking into now (from the info I've gathered) so yeah, I dunno, a silver lining for him, and a new relationship for the both of us.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16538099 -

I'm glad that you two are happy! I really hope my ex and my friend are happy, because they are both incredibly codependent and codependency is fucking miserable.

She is going to lose his friendship, at least for a little bit. That is something she is going to need to accept. As for whatever chat the two of you have, he is probably going to thump you. Be ready for it. And to be honest, I would let it happen. If my buddy had tried to fight back, I probably would've done what I originally planned, which was fucking break him to the point that his pretty face would never be pretty again and it would forever hurt for him to stand up straight or even lie in a bed.

Time will heal things. He may never be your best friend again, but there will be a time where the two of you will be able to kick the shit without kicking the shit out of each other.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #16538144 -

So you lost all your friends for a girl....better hope she doesn't start fucking around behind your back, or you'll end up with nothing.

Been there, done that...

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #10]
    #16559270 -

he was really pissed at both of us for ages. was basically like "fuck both of you die in a fire" kind of thing. we bumped into him in the street one day and it was really awkward. after that he hated on us for ages. since then he's kind of picked himself up a bit and he is now friends with her again and adopted a weirdly positive attitude of "it's not my place to control what you do or who you see/its your life now" kind of thing, well, to her anyway, as far as I can tell he probably still hates my guts and rightly so.

And #12 yes I may have lost all, of what were my closest friends, but I still have many other friends... but to be honest I was getting really tired of that crew anyway, their bullshit was annoying as fuck.


so yeah i dunno, it's happened now. the only thing i can really do is ride it out and see what happens, if we break up one day well then that's my loss. as i said i am moving in with her next week so will see how that goes.

i am in love with this girl, and her previous relationship was poisonous for the both of them and they were both really unhappy.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #2]
    #16561333 -

Anon #1, kudos on an awesome thread and a superb (I think) outcome. :awedance:

I've smoked two joints and run through this thread on my evening off, and it's been an absolute pleasure living through this with you.

For what it's worth buddy, I wholeheartedly congratulate you for how you handled this. In particular, managing celebacy in some of those intimate situations you describe. I take no shame in admitting I would not have been so noble. The girl I'm with now was with a mate of mine for over ten years in a really close group of friends. We were always close, but I was always fiercely protective of her as both my friend and my friend's girlfriend.

She became deeply unhappy (right call! He was an absolute douche. This is not a biased opinion. The man was a base, mired, undriven indivdual, and she's 50 times the person he is.) and left him (and lo, did the multitude celebrate when the mass text went out. I'm not kidding.) about six months later, we just clicked. :dancer::super:

She'd always had a thing for me, apparently-I was always there  for her when he never, ever was. I never saw it. She's a flirty fucker is my lass, with everyone in a playful manner.

Our by now slightly looser group of friends broke up at this, and I miss those wonderful days. Because I'm stoned, and I have found such humanity in this thread, I rather wanna share those epic memories in a single picture, so what they hey, I'll post this for a while:

New Year 2004


Good times.
:awepreciation:

But I have a new and much better life now. I'm in a dream job (found by my girlfriend), studying for better (gf), got me first car (gf), am finally fulfilling my fucking potential and studying for a Physics & Astronomy open Uni degree (gf)and am massively into my softball (gf).



I've a whole new world of friends, I'm completely in love and I'm working three jobs as well as studying to take her to Fiji in November for her 30th (she knows) and of course, pop the question. (she doesn't). I'm hoping to be a dad soon. It's fucking awesome.

All my love to you two, Anon 1. I sincerely hope things work out as well for you as they have for me. Despite all the negativity that accompanied this phase of your life, you two really had time to connect, through good and bad, and really get to know and understand each other.

I really think you should have The Talk with the ex, if you haven't already. I sincerely doubt it'll come to blows. If you approach it respectfully, and empathically to his point of view, it could be a relatively civil affair. Explicitly state nothing sexual happened (he'll wanna know. You would. I would.) He may not believe you, but what you gonna do. :shrug:

Explain it wasn't planned, explain you guys kept it civil both out of respect to him, and quietly state that it is what it is now, she's your girl, and you're grateful he appreciates that. Then start living your life.

Two requests man.!

1) Who are you dude? Can we drop the anon, I'm really curious as to who you are and where you're from!
2) Any chance of a piccie of you guys posted for a day or so?
I love putting faces to people but, alas, it's an opportunity one rarely gets on such a forum as this. :sad:

Still. Fuckin' love the shroomery.! 
:shroomeryhead:


All the best in the timestream of your life buddy.

:hatsoff:


--------------------
Over one's mind and over one's body the individual is sovereign.
John Stuart Mill, On Liberty
(1806 - 1873)
My UPDATED UK supplies thread
My first trip report-Amsterdam wanderings
Stonesun's sclerotia infodump
Proudly discovered Highly Sensitive Person ~2009
To all you good gents, I say :hatsoff:

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Ego Questio]
    #16563388 -

thanks for your story buddy. I am happy that you have found an awesome relationship out of a similar situation. Unfortunately in my case I can't say the same about her ex, he is an awesome guy. Very down to earth, mature and all round great guy. He doesn't have any enemies and he's always tried to be the best he can.

In terms of a new life, it is something we slowly have to build together. She is working slowly to cut all the ties to her 'past' with the ex and that group of people, her flatmate is dating her ex's brother... so he is always around and there is still that kind of 'connection' which she hates, the idea of me moving in is to move things forward and at the end of the year when her lease is up try and find a place together.

It is a weird situation, and if things are all well we plan on moving interstate when her uni degree is finished (end of next year) so until that time we kind of have to stick it out, and some of her oldest friends are moving to our city end of the year so at least she wil have her old crew back. She really needs it, she is quite alone in this city and when I can't always be there for her, it will be great when her friends are.

I will always feel a bit bad about the situation. But it's something I have to overcome, what's done is done, what's happened has happened and the only thing we can really do is look forward. she's said to me many times she can see us together for a long time. she said she broke up with her ex because, well, they're two different people, and as much as she still loves him and wants to keep him as a friend, them being together is just out of the question. it's really weird because he is one of those guys girls absolutely swoon over, he's had heaps of girls hit on him constantly, not just because he's good looking, but he has an incredibly nice temperament. It's really fucked, it kind of makes it harder that he's been so nice about it all (to her)

I will front up to him, I don't know what I'm going to say. All I can think of to say is "well, what's done is done. Obviously you all don't want to be friends with me any more, and I really want to be with this girl. And I think that decision has already been made" or something along those lines.

I don't really know what else to say to all this, I can't say it's a happy ending, I don't think this is the ending I'm sure there's more to come to this than what already has. The biggest thing is I really don't know what to say to the ex. I guess most of it would be to sit down and let him vent. I can't say much other than how I feel, which is shit that will probably only get him angry. Meh.


Anyway, thanks again so much for the kind words and sharing your story. Sounds like you are on the up and up. All the best with your girl, and all the best for your future together. Here's hoping she says 'yes'

Good luck bro.

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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #16564135 -

Thanks very much man, much appreciated.
:awethumb:

When it comes the ex, some advice.? What you say is true, but that's an implicit fact. You know it and he knows it. To state it out loud to his face would only anger him as it throws it in his face, so I'd stay stum.

I'd advice letting him talk whenever he wants to, explain his side. You can explain you really do understand how this has made him feel, offer to answer any questions he has honestly...yeah, that's about it.



The only other thing I would say is this: you're done nothing 'wrong' in this situation. What's happened has been messy, but not caused by you, it is how it is. If he gets annoying,or insulting, or patronising or any of that shit, you don't have to be meek and just take it 'for the sake of it'. I'm not advocating aggression and I'm definitely not advocating violence, but you have resolution due: you're all adults, and this is how life is now. Out of respect for him, you've gone to talk it out, but you are not a naughty child and you don't have to stand for any bullshit man. You're a couple now, and you speak for you both.

If he is, as you say "her ex, he is an awesome guy. Very down to earth, mature and all round great guy", he should take this alright anyway. It'll be cool man, you'll feel better for it, it'll resolve some of your girl's tension, and that can only be good for you.

Here's hoping y'all make some new friends toot quick. Try softball, worked for me! :wink:


--------------------
Over one's mind and over one's body the individual is sovereign.
John Stuart Mill, On Liberty
(1806 - 1873)
My UPDATED UK supplies thread
My first trip report-Amsterdam wanderings
Stonesun's sclerotia infodump
Proudly discovered Highly Sensitive Person ~2009
To all you good gents, I say :hatsoff:

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