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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
#15080864 - 09/14/11 11:49 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Some developments... I am posting here because I cannot talk to anyone about it IRL and so I can't cop the moral abuse anywhere else but here.
The other night we went and saw a show together (we bought tickets a couple of months ago, and her boyfriend got kinda shitty we didn't invite him along, as can be expected) of an act we both love and can find a great common ground on, and something I guess her boyfriend wouldn't 'get'
anyway, so after the show we took some pills and some acid and went out and had a great night at some bars around where I live. We had a great time, laughed, carried on, talked shit and enjoyed laughing at the people around us.
As the night ended we ended up back at my place for after drinks and listen to tunes and chill out. out of nowhere she just comes out with how she cannot stop thinking about me.. and when she is with her boyfriend, as much as she loves him, she cannot get me out of her head... and that that night of going to the show together, for her, was more about getting to spend the night with me, rather than just going to see the show.
the feeling was completely mutual.
i told her how i feel and she told me the same, and kept saying "if only I had met you first..." and that if her boyfriend goes travelling again she is going to call it off, because she can't handle him being away and she wants to be free to be herself... and implied that if she broke up with him she would want to be with me
we spent the next 3 nights together, the night after the show we went to the movies together and she told me she told her boyfriend she'd 'needed space' we hung out but there was that awkward elephant in the corner... i didn't know what to do with her because it was wrong to show affection but i wanted to so badly, and so did she. i stayed at her place and we lay in bed watching a show and i didnt want to grab her but later she snuggled up to me. nothing happened but we just cuddled all night and it was so good, it felt so good to be close to her. we both lay there the next day thinking "what the fuck are we doing?" but kept saying about how we just wanted each other so badly
this is a fucked up predicament and it has been going on for, what, 4 months now? and she said she has felt this way about me most of this year, and I have the best part of 4 years, since I first met her. I have always had a thing for her... i can't get her out of my head. I hate that I am putting her in this situation with her boyfriend and making her feel the guilt, but there is the problem of following our feelings and hearts or putting them aside and letting them grow out of tension
fuck
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Nemo_Hoes
Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobo Ramírez


Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 39,721
Loc: Ray Ray's Mystery Garage
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#15080988 - 09/15/11 12:22 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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You should fuck her, I just fucked my friend's girlfriend, it was pretty awesome.
-------------------- We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.
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ManianFH
living in perverty


Registered: 07/06/04
Posts: 14,831
Last seen: 2 hours, 59 minutes
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15080990 - 09/15/11 12:23 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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what are you and her waiting for?
I think love doesnt have boundaries. It either is or isnt. Sounds like it isnt with them and is with you. When is she gonna end it so you guys can move forward together? The whole dating ex-gfs of friends rule doesnt apply if you can see yourself having a legit longterm relationship with her, imo. If its just lust then think long and hard if its worth it. But shit if you could spend the rest of your life with a girl, how can you deny that cause of some bro rule?
-------------------- notapillow said: "you are going about this endeavor all wrong. clear your mind of useless fear and concern. buy the ticket, take the ride, and all that.... " ChrisWho said: "It's all about the journey, not the destination."
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: ManianFH]
#15081009 - 09/15/11 12:29 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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that is the first supporting response with actual reason behind it. I could see myself spending a very long time with this girl, I have very deep feelings with her, as I've said we haven't actually had sex, but being with her... I just enjoy her company, and enjoy being close with her, and so many times before any of this had even happened I would look at her and think what I would do to have someone like her
I just think that after time she would see me for what I really am and perhaps lose interest or not think I'm so great or something, I don't know what she see's in me now, anyway. she could have any guy she wants. every time we go out, people always say stuff like "you have a pretty girlfriend" or "i'll leave you with your girlfriend" and we both just look at each other, not saying anything... kind of 'pretending' or something,,, guys hit on her everywhere she goes, she is very pretty and as i said, she could have anyone. i find it incredible that she could feel this way about me, her boyfriend is a typically very attractive guy, girls are after him all the time, and he's ridiculously nice and good natured as well...
even he said to me once "she told me that if we weren't together she would be with you" and that was long before we had admitted feelings for each other.
blahhhh
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Nemo_Hoes
Juan Sánchez Villa-Lobo Ramírez


Registered: 09/16/04
Posts: 39,721
Loc: Ray Ray's Mystery Garage
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#15081149 - 09/15/11 01:10 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Nah dude hit it and quit it.
-------------------- We will also report to the NAACP and to Al Sharpton's entourage, how the Shroomery administrators allows their mods and members to be balatantly allowed the use of the 'N' word.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Nemo_Hoes]
#15081258 - 09/15/11 01:50 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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thanks but no thanks.
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Anonymous #3
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15081418 - 09/15/11 03:29 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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You're a fucking asshole, going behind your friends back like that. If you wanted to pursue something with this girl she should have broken it off before anything happened between you. Personally if I were your friend I would have eventually gotten over the situation if it went down like that. At this point you may as well tell him already and get used to not having him as a friend.
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #3] 1
#15081435 - 09/15/11 03:43 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.
If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,068
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15081467 - 09/15/11 04:28 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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?
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automan
blasted chipmunk


Registered: 09/18/03
Posts: 8,272
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15081900 - 09/15/11 08:36 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.
If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.
QFT
-------------------- No, no, you're not thinking, you're just being logical. ~ Niels Bohr
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pescadorabioso
Hedonistic Misanthropy



Registered: 07/07/10
Posts: 1,510
Loc: Fl
Last seen: 10 years, 11 months
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Nemo_Hoes]
#15082107 - 09/15/11 10:01 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
Cracula said: Nah dude hit it and quit it.
Quote:
Cracula said: You should fuck her, I just fucked my friend's girlfriend, it was pretty awesome.
-------------------- What has made them conceive that man must want a rationally advantageous choice? I've become desensitized to these types of occurrences thus far. Yet, there lies a sensation of bitter disappointment embedded within.
FINE YOU IMBECILE; SUFFER!! IT IS YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE HURTING. NOTHING IS DETERRING YOU FROM ATTAINING THAT OF WHICH YOU INHERENTLY CRAVE. YOU HAVE LET THEM TAKE OVER YOUR MIND, YOU ARE NO LONGER IN CONTROL, YOU NEVER WERE.
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pwnasaurus
Stranger



Registered: 07/16/08
Posts: 12,317
Loc: Canada
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15083889 - 09/15/11 05:42 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.
If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.
koraks as always coming in with excellent advice.
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Bipolarbear
Stranger with candy



Registered: 05/23/10
Posts: 828
Last seen: 10 years, 3 months
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: moonrockmushy]
#15084218 - 09/15/11 07:11 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said:
Quote:
Bipolarbear said:
Quote:
moonrockmushy said: It sucks how people are suspiscious, gossipy, and judgemental 
Yeah it totally sucks when people are correct and right in their intuition... what?
They were suspicious because something was going on and everyone in his circle could see it. They are gossiping because HOLY SHIT, I dunno, one of their friends in their "tight circle" as the OP describes, is fucking another one of the friend's girlfriends in their tight circle. Gee, this wouldn't be a point of conversation? And they're judgmental because it's wrong. How can you fuck your friend like that? Bros before ho's.
You need to be honest with your friend. If you can't do that then you tell her to break it off with him before you hook up with her again. Have some fucking decency and don't fuck your friend's girlfriend. Jesus. Glad to know you feel bad about it but do you feel bad enough to do what's right?
"Bros before hos" in my experience is just something that silly frat-boy types say until they get pussy-whipped, or realize that they are gay.
Or it's a simpler way of expressing a code of conduct between friends. I would never fuck over my friend like that but all of you seem to reaching for different ways to justify to yourselves why it's ok to go behind a friend's back and fuck their girlfriend. Slice it whichever way you want -- he's not good enough for her, I shoulda been her boyfriend, we were meant for one another, whatever. IMO that is what's gay. If you'll fuck over your friend then who wouldn't you fuck over? It's that type of personality that would sell out their own mother for another hit.
But that's cool, bro. Defend being a scumbag under the pretext of believing the person who did no wrong is actually gay or pussy-whipped. I'm sure the justification makes it easier to swallow.
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Joolz


Registered: 09/19/10
Posts: 3,614
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Bipolarbear]
#15084798 - 09/15/11 09:21 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Welp, Bipolarbear proved that there's always two sides of a coin. I don't really have any advice. All I can say is I'd chill out, probably tell her she had to make a choice, and then see what she chooses. Korak pretty much hit the nail on the head like usual.
-------------------- Prohibition didn't work for God; Eve ate the fruit.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15085472 - 09/15/11 11:47 PM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Quote:
koraks said: Ok, it's dead simple, way I see it. It's up to her to break up with her boyfriend or to decide to stick with him. If she chooses the former, then she's free to be with you. You'll lose your friend, but I imagine you'd rather have the girl as your gf than keep the guy as a friend. Anyway, it's most likely going to be 'either, or', and not 'both'. In case she decides to stick with her current boyfriend, the 'right' thing to do is to back off: the lady has chosen, and you lost, so get the hell out and leave them to it.
If you want, you can even present this choice to her, but she's most likely already aware of it and it may be counterproductive to put pressure on her. So I'd advise to let things progress, and give her some space. By doing so, you give them room to work out if they want to stick together, and at the same time, you show this girl that she can't have you for the good times and her boyfriend for the rest. She'll have to chose sometime.
Thanks, I think that's more or less it. I will put this to her, or just say I will leave her alone and let her figure out what she wants. I spent last night with her again, the more time I spend with this girl, the more I am falling for her.
fuck
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15085876 - 09/16/11 03:17 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, you can't carry on like this forever. Something's gonna give sooner or later. I'm sure she realizes that too; discuss the situation with her!
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15085933 - 09/16/11 04:18 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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when we discussed it last weekend she was more or less saying that she was thinking of breaking up with him to be with me...
idk she knows what the situation with and she has constantly reiterated her guilt and feeling of shit about the whole thing but feeligns cant be helped and she said shed hoped it was sexual frustration/tension but it wasnt.
i know it cant go on forever but baaahh idk what to do and i dont want to call it off with her but i know we have to
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15085985 - 09/16/11 04:57 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Yeah, it's a frustrating situation; it's all in her hands. You can try to manipulate her a bit into the direction you want, but it's up to you to decide if you find that ethical/acceptable. But you can at least be clear about your desires, intentions and hopes. Which, I understand, is what you're doing already, so you'll just have to wait and see...
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: koraks]
#15135856 - 09/26/11 08:18 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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been spending a lot of time with this girl of late, realising more and more how much i love her company, almost to total saturation point, started planning dates and stuff to take her out to, her relationship with her bf was melting down, we were spending a lot of nights together going out
last night we went out with some friends, then when we all split up i went back to her place, all night she had been saying sshe just wanted to leave everyone and hang out alone together on the way back to her place she grabbed me to kiss me, i finally broke and said we have to stop this, it cant go on, its getting dangerous to the point of ruining everything for both of us, having such a tight nit group of friends and whatnot
i wsaid i wanted nothing but her but we couldnt do it any more... i walked her home and spent some time at her place and left
i walked home. her bf spent the day with her trying to rekindle what was dying between them, she said it wasjnt just me she just wasnt sure what she wanted.. but as far as i can tell things are good between them now, i msg'd her saying i hoped everything was ok, got some coldish responses ("ok thanks", that kind of thing), i thik she is deliberately trying to distance herself from me to try and kill any feelings betwen us, i actually feel completely heaertbroken, not that it matters because of the horrible fucking thing i've done and i fully deserve to feel like this
i have a bottle of xanax, i think its going to come in handy, ive been lying i nbed all day and night just having incredibly nightmares, waking up feeling very alone, scared and heartbrroken. all i want is her and its something i can never have. i dont know what ive done or how or why i let this situation happen but at the end of it all here i feel abandoned, alone, like a fucking asshole and most of all like a horrible cunt..
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,691
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Re: Kissed my good friends girlfriend... again [Re: Anonymous #1]
#15135886 - 09/26/11 08:28 AM (12 years, 5 months ago) |
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Dude, man up. Nothing is lost. Ok, for you, it's sad that she didn't jump into your arms, leaving her bf to rot by himself. But look at it from her perspective: her bf got his final heads-up, and wouldn't it be fair of her to give him/them a chance? So I guess you can expect to hear little from her for a while; any communication will be brief, polite, distanced, unromantic. And maybe things with her current bf will shape up and the contact between the two of you will peter out altogether, or, alternatively, she and her bf realize that their relationship doesn't work, and who knows she'll contact you again. But even if their relationship comes to an end, it is very well possible that things won't start getting hot between the two of you immediately. It's very conceivable that she'll mourn over the loss of her relationship, even if the final phase was shitty; hey, it's just what people do.
So in short: she might come around, but the fact that communication is very limited right now makes perfect sense. And again, it's perfectly ok to tell her that you regret this, in a non-threatening, non-oppressive manner. You could let her know that you understand that she's focusing on her relationship right now, but that you enjoyed the times you spent together and that you regret that the distance between the two of you has increased now, and that you hope that the contact will intensify at some point again. To which she'll likely respond along the lines of 'yeah, hopefully, but I need some space now'.
Or maybe I'm just dead wrong and talking out of my ass. People aren't perfectly predictable...
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