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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator
    #13336565 -

October 14, 2010 - After a 2 year hiatus from the playful goddess salvinorin: One full average-sized bowl of standardized 10x atop a layer of plain leaf as bedding with the song Sama by Ishq playing loudly in the background.  I've been introduced to salvialand on many occasions and I've grown fairly comfortable with the experience.

God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator

Holding the flame over the bowl, I deeply inhale all of it at once and set the bowl on the glass plate beside me to avoid starting a fire.  I then close my eyes as I hold the hit in deep and await the shattering of reality... two seconds pass, then five seconds, seven seconds, ten seconds... I begin asking myself, "why is nothing happening? why am I not feeling that all-familiar escalating tingling sensation and gravitational pull I'm used to?"  I open my eyes to the sight of my room and ask again but aloud, "why is nothing happening?"  Suddenly my room begins to slowly shift as if moving diagonally upwards and to the east.  My bedroom ceiling opens up like a dollhouse revealing the stars as it keeps shifting farther and farther diagonally up and east leaving behind it a fractal image of my same dilemma in two second increments.  Before I know it and with eyes open, here I am looking at a seemingly infinitely repeating fractal image of the same room I was viewing all of this from.  During the course of this I feel a playful spirit behind me laughing at the strange predicament I find myself in.  He begins to reach down, I feel his giant and powerful hand coming in close and fear overtakes me.  I attempt to stand and run but physics do not apply here, he's altered gravity and manipulated reality making any attempt at escape impossible.  I was now at his disposal - I, the puppet and he, my puppet master.  He telepathically informs me that he means me no harm, that he wants to take me on a miraculous voyage through the cosmos... I care not for all I can think is, "what the fuck? you've proven your power, you've shattered my reality, you've proven to me that I'm minuscule and unimportant. What more do you want with me?"  I feel his power in my mind as he works and massages my brain circuits pulling me higher and higher, deeper and deeper.  I keep rising as though my world is stuck on a never-ending escalator to the stars but the image never changes - the fractal dollhouse that is my bedroom is the same room I've always known but... but... different.  Again I ask myself, "what the fuck do I do now? how do I escape the grip of this playful and powerful god?"  Finally I find my footing and look back to see the fractal images of my room slowly dissipating as the cosmic escalator loosens its grip and begins to decline - my room slowly shifts back down into place at the request of the powerful yet almost malevolent spirit.  He seems disappointed as he begins to fade, as though I missed out on an opportunity that few spirits have the chance to experience.  I open my door and enter my brothers room, leaving the music, in an attempt to collect my bearings and explain what just happened.  I feel disoriented and I still feel the presence of the spirit poking fun at my shame and confusion.  Following a little gibberish and a sad attempt to explain the impossible to my brother, I make my way back to my room and sit in my computer chair.  I realize my room is still slowly coming back into place.  I think to myself, "is it the music moving my experience? is it the spirit? is it me?"  The Spirit has left by now and I'm arriving back at baseline.  My reality has been torn apart and rebuilt with new and inconceivable foundations of wonder and awe.  I'm left feeling small, confused, and disappointed - disappointed that I didn't have the courage to close my eyes and let go for I would have gone deeper than I've ever gone before.


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"The greatest blessings come by way of madness." ~Socrates

"We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences." ~Teilhard de Chardin

"He who knows best knows how little he knows." ~Thomas Jefferson

Edited by mikeoshi (10/14/10 10:08 PM)

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: mikeoshi]
    #13342783 -

Nice read man. Yeah, it happens to all of us, it is sometimes inevitable to get scared. I am sure you'll have the chance to experience it again.

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: Wolb]
    #13352356 -

When I first began experimenting with Salvia I couldn't even begin to dissect what was happening to me. It was as if I was thrown onto the stage of a game show with a crowd of tens of thousands staring and laughing at me - like my third eye was getting fucked by a plethora of geometric patterns and dark organic colors that overtook my reality.  Now that I've become a little more accustomed to the experience I've finally started to understand a little bit more of what I've been experiencing... maybe understand is a bad word, describe probably works better.  On the rare occasion I find myself relaxed and accepting of the experience I've traveled to the far reaches of the cosmos, over wonderful oceans, to ancient south american market-places, to the feet of enchanted and powerful women who insist on showing me the purpose of life.  But this experience, and maybe it's just because it's been two years since I've even felt the effects, seemed so much more real... I've been deeper on Salvia but, if memory serves me right, never has it felt like this one did. My curiosity has been sparked once again.


--------------------
"The greatest blessings come by way of madness." ~Socrates

"We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences." ~Teilhard de Chardin

"He who knows best knows how little he knows." ~Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: mikeoshi]
    #13352820 -

Good for you man! Same thing happened to me, first time I tried salvia I didn't quite like it, but I think that I belong to that group of people that don't like what they don't understand. After a couple times, I've learned to like it much more. Now I am really curious of what a more potent extract can do.

"over wonderful oceans, to ancient south american market-places, to the feet of enchanted and powerful women who insist on showing me the purpose of life. "

Mannn, that sounds great! Do you trip alone? When you go to this places, do you (in reality) stay in the same place or move around. I've got two big ass windows in my place that I am afraid might want to go through if I am not aware that they are windows, that's whats keeping me from the higher doses.

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: Wolb]
    #13362495 -

Quote:
Wolb said:Mannn, that sounds great! Do you trip alone? When you go to this places, do you (in reality) stay in the same place or move around. I've got two big ass windows in my place that I am afraid might want to go through if I am not aware that they are windows, that's whats keeping me from the higher doses.


I only trip alone no matter what the substance is. Salvia might be the exception in the future as I think It'll be much easier to let go with somebody watching over me... but all in all, I'm sort of selfish when it comes to entheogens in that I like to keep my experiences to myself and use them for myself.  Mushrooms still remain my voyage of choice but this salvia man, it opens a different plane with different thoughts and it always sparks a new curiosity about life and the world. As far as moving around during the experience - my goal is always to stay in one spot under the influence of salvia but half the time I find myself forgetting I smoked it causing me to get up in an attempt to explore the new world I find myself in. Luckily I've never hurt myself by tripping over anything but even so, I usually seat myself in a lazy boy that's hard to get out of under the influence due to the force it requires to decline (the opposite of recline?) the thing.

I have a 'Mindfold' thing that's sold on Alex Grey's site that I keep forgetting about before I try salvia. It's like a blindfold that's slightly elevated about your eyes so you can still open your eyes comfortably while staying in complete darkness. I think this could bring about some interesting experiences with salvia.


--------------------
"The greatest blessings come by way of madness." ~Socrates

"We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences." ~Teilhard de Chardin

"He who knows best knows how little he knows." ~Thomas Jefferson

Edited by mikeoshi (10/20/10 02:52 PM)

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: mikeoshi]
    #13373834 -

This is one of the most moving trip reports that I've read in a while. So, in conclusion, is the world you visited "real"...? Or is it simply a product of a delusional drug experience?


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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: FleshCap]
    #13412061 -

FleshCap said:
This is one of the most moving trip reports that I've read in a while. So, in conclusion, is the world you visited "real"...? Or is it simply a product of a delusional drug experience?


Sorry for the late reply, been out of town.

Do I believe it was real? I don't know really, this is a very complicated question for me. I believe it to be a product of my mind though the memory is as real as anything I've ever remembered. I believe in a spirit world and I believe that "world" can be accessed through the use of certain plants, chemicals, meditation, dreams - in our bodies we cannot perceive this world so we have to create images and feelings to make something of something we couldn't otherwise understand. That being said, I don't allow my beliefs about the spirit world affect my life negatively nor do I dwell on experiences like this for too long. I write them down, remember, and take what I can from them in an attempt to apply things I learn to my life. I suppose this begs the question, was this particular experience useful for me? Not particularly but it did spark my imagination and had me questioning certain aspects of consensus reality for a while - not the most useful but it sure was incredible.

I believe any memorized experience, no matter how painful or difficult, can be used to our benefit and that's really my only mindset regarding the reality of psychedelics.


--------------------
"The greatest blessings come by way of madness." ~Socrates

"We are not human beings having spiritual experiences, we are spiritual beings having human experiences." ~Teilhard de Chardin

"He who knows best knows how little he knows." ~Thomas Jefferson

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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: mikeoshi]
    #13412349 -

:dancer:


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:shineon:


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Re: Salvinorin: God's fractal playhouse and the cosmic escalator [Re: mikeoshi]
    #13425350 -

wow.  is there any way to favorite a post so i can look back at it if i want?  i think im gonna thumbs up this on stumble, hope you dont mind.

the very first time i smoked salvia, my roommate kinda talked me into it cos we were bored and i had a lot.  btw ive only smoked dried leaves, i havent messed with the extract as of yet.  that time, though i didnt take a huge rip, i felt for a few seconds that i was in a completely different existence.  there were stone walls with torches in what felt like a jungle setting.  i felt i had dark skin and was wearing very little clothing, and my friend was still beside me, though also not himself.  it felt exactly like strong deja vu, like we were two savages messing with something we shouldn't.

a recent experience i had was a lot stronger since i had taken two giant rips from my bong.  immediately upon exhaling i thought, "oh fuck, this is working, i should not have fucked around with this with greedy intent."  a presence seemingly female and angry was immediately upon me.  the linguistic thoughts in my mind were completely turned to pure gibberish.  this presence wanted to take me behind me, or i suppose, behind my field of vision, forcefully.  i was afraid and wouldn't allow it.  the only linguistic line of thought i had for the whole experience was, "who is it that sees?  who is it that is?"  staring into my own room which i didn't recognize anymore i felt i was an outstretched finger reaching into a complete void, almost as if my reality only exists because every split second some deep part of me chooses for it to.  i was not alone though, i was connected to innumerable outstretched fingers in the void, and we all were doing our part to make this real.  the void was all around me, at the edges of my vision and infinitely stretching out behind me.  once i regained motor control i moved my computer chair, lit some incense to stare at, and laid down on my bed to think and reflect.


--------------------
for the happiness and health of all beings and Gaia.

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience > Trip Reports
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