Swyfty Swyf said:

Poptart said:

In fact not only do they have to accept the fact that I smoke they would have to smoke as well.

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There's nothing wrong with girls who don't smoke.

There are plenty of seriously chill people who don't smoke. 

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Morican said:

The problem now, is that I have a beautiful lil man (my son) that is my life and means the world to me and I would stay and suffer for the rest of my life if I had to.

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Morican said:

I know that this probably isn't the right forum to be seeking help or advice on this particular subject but I am lost and scared and would appreciate some good advice or to hear others opinions or stories on the matter that is causing me so much pain and grief.

I have been married to my Wife for 3 going on 4 years this next February. We have a beautiful baby boy that is going to be three this December.
I have been an avid pot smoker off and on (longest I quit was for a couple of years) since I was 15yo. or so, I am now 40yo.

My Wife is completely anti anything illicit, meaning that the only thing she doesn't have a problem with is cigarettes and alcohol, because they are legal and socially more accepted.

She found my piece (pipe, pot smoking paraphernalia) once and made me promise her that I would quit. I did so (promise) because I was threatened with divorce but had no intention on quitting and only went more under ground. I have since gotten caught or rather she has found my pipe two more times, and this got it in her head that I lie to her and if I lie about one thing then what else may I be lying about and so the trust is gone. She then went on a campaign of withholding sex to punish me.

Three months go by of her withholding sex and I tell her that I know I messed up, but I do love her and simply don't agree with her that pot is such a bad thing and since she is not willing to even try to see my side of it that I felt that there was no option but to keep it from her. I would smoke when away from the house only, so as to not have it in her face and so I thought, since I'm not cheating or doing anything that would hurt my family then all should be cool.

Anyway, she told me that she decides when enough is enough and so the sexless punishment continues.

This past weekend it was her 20yo. brothers Birthday and we took him to a place called Dave and Busters where you can eat, play video games and drink liquor since it's also a bar. Her brother being only 20 couldn't drink there so I told my Wife that she could invite her brother and his friends over to our home to continue their party and they can drink at our home.

After about 10-12 shots each in which I participated (my Wife wasn't drinking) me and the guys settled in the living room to play XBOX360 and my Wife went off to bed. I didn't hear the whole conversation but one of the guys says to one of the other guys, "I haven't had sex in two weeks" to which I quickly replied
"that's nothing, try 4-5 months" my Wife happened to hear that and comes into the room yelling "THAT'S IT! IT'S OVER" and runs off to the room.
I, knowing that she has a habit of locking me out of the room when she has a fit and me not wanting to be locked out of my room for a stupid mistake (in blurting out our personal business) ran to catch her before she locked the door. I did and forced my way in, she pulls out her cell phone and tells me she's going to call the cops, I quickly snatch the phone from her hand and then she pulls out my cell from her other pocket and I snatch that one too. She then picks up our son from his crib and takes off for the front door.
As I was following her to try and stop her, one of her brothers guy friends stops me at the door by grabbing me from both arms, we struggled and my TV hit's the floor where we end up too. I got away from him and ran out to catch my Wife, that guy comes out and stands in front of me again, this time I block his hand and slap him HARD across the face with a back hand. He get's all upset of coarse but got in the car with my Wife and child, along with the other friend and they left.
My Wife's brother told them to leave and that he would stayed behind with me. He then proceeds to apologies for his friend and told me that his sister and all the other women in his house (Mom and Grandma) are all freaking crazy. He knows me and knows that I am a good man and that I take a lot of isht from his sister that I don't deserve. The cops came but after they heard the story they knew that there was no real reason for them to be there and they just told us to keep it down and left.
Her brother and I proceeded to have a long deep conversation about how crazy these women are and how they don't give a isht about anyone else or their feeling.
After I sobered up, I drove him home to his Mom's house.
No sooner had I walked in, than the Mom and Grandma offer some unsolicited words, telling me that if we divorce that it doesn't mean that I won't get to see my child.
I went to the bed room where my Wife was and she automatically started with the I want a divorce thing. I told her that I don't want nor will I give her a divorce because I don't think that divorce should be the first thing you try when having problems in a marriage, I suggested trying to work things out even if it means seeking outside council. She wasn't having anything that I was suggesting and so I finally told her "well whatever, you do what you want but I'm taking our son home with me right now." She threatened to call the cops if I tried but I reminded her that if she did that I could have her arrested for kidnapping for taking out son out of our home against my will and without the legal right to do so. I know a lot about the law and also reminded her that I was assaulted by her brothers friend in my own house. She then just told me go a head then. I took my son home and went to bed since we hadn't slept all night, she came later and since we have been the same as before this weekends fight but a little worse off.

I don't want to loose my family and am now willing to cave in on her demands for me to quit pot, although it's legal for me to do it here in California and I still don't think that I should have to but I don't wish to loose my family over it and so I'm done.

Now, she has stopped wearing her wedding ring because she knows that this will hurt me but has been coming home every day after work and has not picked up and left yet.
Just comes home and treats me like garbage every night like she has been doing for the past 4-5 months.

I haven't been able to eat and my sleep is hard to come by and even harder to keep. I'm tired and hurt and scared and I don't know what to do to help my situation.

I don't want to loose my family and would appreciate and advice or stories of your own problems, how you chose to deal with them and how things came out for you.

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Morican said:

Man you guys are the best. Someone said that the advice that I am getting might not be what I wanted to hear but it is what I need to hear or something like that and this is so true.

She hasn't worn her wedding ring since sometime before our fight on Sat. So I can't say that this weekends events are to blame for that but that is another way that I think she is trying to hurt me.
She put a new picture on her yahoo e-mail profile and created a new avatar portraying her as a supermodel type.
My Wife is young and beautiful and just recently lost weight that she had gained after having our son and I knew that there is always a possibility that egos flare when people loose weight, especially women and they star thinking the isht, I was hoping that this wasn't the case but I think I was wrong.

She has changed her password so that I can not access her e-mail, we had given our passwords to each other because we have nothing to hide or at least we didn't have anything to hide. I went ahead and stopped wearing my wedding ring too and changed my password too, just to keep things as fair as possible.

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Chespirito said:

Stop smoking pot immediately.  If you go through a divorce settlement the issue of drugs will come up.  If you want to have any control over your sons direction, i.e where he lives etc... make sure to test clean.  Im not entirely clear on the law here but I am fairly certain they can fuck you hard if you start testing positive for drugs

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