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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip.
    #11097192 -

Hey. Last night two friends and I ended up making a couple batches of mushroom tea, using about 3gs. A couple hours later, I munched down on a handful of caps from my own stash, they couldn't have been more than a gram in total.

At some point during my trip, while watching Fear and Loathing and having walls melt, I slowly began to have what I believe to be is negative thoughts. I started thinking about why I do anything, at all. Why do I want to write prose/poetry, music, why do I want to try hard in school, why do I bother worrying about what my friends think of me, why do I wake up in the morning. I couldn't even find motivation to talk, I just felt anything I had to say was so unimportant and just had no significance, so why even bother. It got to the point where I couldn't find a single thing to hold on to that makes me feel like my life has meaning, or that there's anything out there that has any personal meaning to me.

I started to get random mood swings, almost being in tears, to just laughing everything off and it all being a joke. Keep in mind that it wasn't necessarily bad when I felt like I was almost in tears, there was always a positive side to it. At one point I wanted to listen to music, but when I got out my ipod I just couldn't even bring myself to put on a song. I would just sigh in the room with my friends, and try to enjoy the visuals and have my mind go crazy.

Now, it's the next day, but the feelings haven't gone away. I've come home and have done a bit of homework, but for the most part all I have been doing is lying in my bed and being very anti-social from my family. I still can't find a single meaningful thing in my life, and it's not so much depressing as it's frustrating, confusing, and makes me feel empty inside. I have to get up tomorrow morning to go to school, but besides that I have no idea why I'm even getting up, or what to do with myself, I really feel no meaning in anything.

Can anyone explain to me what is happening? I know this is only temporary (at least I assume), and I apologize if this is a pretty confusing post. But I just feel completely lost in what to do with myself, and I feel this happens more often than not when I do shrooms. I feel like I have absolutely no footing on anything at all in my life when I'm tripping, and these feelings can last for days or weeks, sometimes months later.

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: grawse]
    #11097276 -

By the sounds of it, most of this stuff was probaably bothering you before your trip? You've probably been ignoring it and the mushrooms have brought it back up again.

Yeah its temporary but if you really feel that way, then why not make a change?, make yourself a reason to get up in the morning?

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: Discobiscut]
    #11097470 -

I am going through the same type of thing. I think the mushrooms made us realize certain things and now we are dealing with it.

Psychedelics don't only give you happy realizations. One thing that is great about them is they can give you a new perspective on anything. The mushrooms didn't put something in your mind that is making you unhappy. They just uncovered something that you didn't know was there.

Try to solve the problem, that is what I am trying to do.

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: grawse]
    #11097965 -

grawse said:
Hey. Last night two friends and I ended up making a couple batches of mushroom tea, using about 3gs. A couple hours later, I munched down on a handful of caps from my own stash, they couldn't have been more than a gram in total.

At some point during my trip, while watching Fear and Loathing and having walls melt, I slowly began to have what I believe to be is negative thoughts. I started thinking about why I do anything, at all. Why do I want to write prose/poetry, music, why do I want to try hard in school, why do I bother worrying about what my friends think of me, why do I wake up in the morning. I couldn't even find motivation to talk, I just felt anything I had to say was so unimportant and just had no significance, so why even bother. It got to the point where I couldn't find a single thing to hold on to that makes me feel like my life has meaning, or that there's anything out there that has any personal meaning to me.

I started to get random mood swings, almost being in tears, to just laughing everything off and it all being a joke. Keep in mind that it wasn't necessarily bad when I felt like I was almost in tears, there was always a positive side to it. At one point I wanted to listen to music, but when I got out my ipod I just couldn't even bring myself to put on a song. I would just sigh in the room with my friends, and try to enjoy the visuals and have my mind go crazy.

Now, it's the next day, but the feelings haven't gone away. I've come home and have done a bit of homework, but for the most part all I have been doing is lying in my bed and being very anti-social from my family. I still can't find a single meaningful thing in my life, and it's not so much depressing as it's frustrating, confusing, and makes me feel empty inside. I have to get up tomorrow morning to go to school, but besides that I have no idea why I'm even getting up, or what to do with myself, I really feel no meaning in anything.

Can anyone explain to me what is happening? I know this is only temporary (at least I assume), and I apologize if this is a pretty confusing post. But I just feel completely lost in what to do with myself, and I feel this happens more often than not when I do shrooms. I feel like I have absolutely no footing on anything at all in my life when I'm tripping, and these feelings can last for days or weeks, sometimes months later.


...what is more meaningful than life itself? You should be grateful for living, alone. You should also love your family for having raised you so that you could get to the point where you could eat those mushrooms! :smile:

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: grawse]
    #11098683 -

I think i know what your problem is as i had a very similar problem after smoking weed and thinking very deeply. I realised i had been bludging in school, at work and in general doing nothing of importance.

What i did was i pushed myself to take school serious i began looking into my future career becoming more social and helping wherever i can. Now i know where im going next year after school, i feel good about things ive done and things im going to do and now when i trip i think of where im going to be in a few years time and instead of it worrying me  i really like where im heading.
Hope this somehow helps you out :laugh:

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: Lateralus_]
    #11098748 -

Lateralus_ said:
...what is more meaningful than life itself? You should be grateful for living, alone. You should also love your family for having raised you so that you could get to the point where you could eat those mushrooms! :smile:


with all due respect, please never become a suicide counselor.

throwing "shoulds" at people in crisis basically only makes them feel like they are permanently wrong and cut off from happiness. the OP feels what he feels. he has to work it out from where he actually stands, not from other people's ideas of where he "should" stand.


--------------------
Monday Night Weirdness! Episode 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, Proverbs of Hell from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: ChairmanMeow]
    #11098785 -

Do you smoke a whole lot of weed? My friends have said that smoking non-stop can take away your ambitions.


--------------------

Let your imagination fill in the blanks.
Weed, Salvia, DXM, MDMA, Speed, Azures, Cubes, Nitrous, DMT, LSD /, Peyote, Ayahuasca

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: grawse]
    #11098789 -

grawse said:
Hey. Last night two friends and I ended up making a couple batches of mushroom tea, using about 3gs. A couple hours later, I munched down on a handful of caps from my own stash, they couldn't have been more than a gram in total.

At some point during my trip, while watching Fear and Loathing and having walls melt, I slowly began to have what I believe to be is negative thoughts. I started thinking about why I do anything, at all. Why do I want to write prose/poetry, music, why do I want to try hard in school, why do I bother worrying about what my friends think of me, why do I wake up in the morning. I couldn't even find motivation to talk, I just felt anything I had to say was so unimportant and just had no significance, so why even bother. It got to the point where I couldn't find a single thing to hold on to that makes me feel like my life has meaning, or that there's anything out there that has any personal meaning to me.

I started to get random mood swings, almost being in tears, to just laughing everything off and it all being a joke. Keep in mind that it wasn't necessarily bad when I felt like I was almost in tears, there was always a positive side to it. At one point I wanted to listen to music, but when I got out my ipod I just couldn't even bring myself to put on a song. I would just sigh in the room with my friends, and try to enjoy the visuals and have my mind go crazy.

Now, it's the next day, but the feelings haven't gone away. I've come home and have done a bit of homework, but for the most part all I have been doing is lying in my bed and being very anti-social from my family. I still can't find a single meaningful thing in my life, and it's not so much depressing as it's frustrating, confusing, and makes me feel empty inside. I have to get up tomorrow morning to go to school, but besides that I have no idea why I'm even getting up, or what to do with myself, I really feel no meaning in anything.

Can anyone explain to me what is happening? I know this is only temporary (at least I assume), and I apologize if this is a pretty confusing post. But I just feel completely lost in what to do with myself, and I feel this happens more often than not when I do shrooms. I feel like I have absolutely no footing on anything at all in my life when I'm tripping, and these feelings can last for days or weeks, sometimes months later.


I've felt something I think is similar, and not just from tripping. You are experiencing existential emptiness. When it comes right down to it, the only meaning life has is itself, and that meaning can only be perceived in the moment. We pass the moment up running to the future, or drown the moment in memories.

What may be hitting you during tripping is the revelation that all the things the world says you must be and achieve is a complicated game that ends in death. If we look for meaning in permanence, we lose it. There is no permanence. Meaning comes from somewhere else -- ironically, from a place the world does not value.

What helps me is coming back to the present moment. I sit quietly somewhere, close my eyes and listen to all the sounds where I am, exactly as they are. I concentrate on my breathing, feel the air. The absolute simplest things about life. The texture of how things actually are. You don't have to feel any emotion about them. Just observe. It might feel like a giant waste of time at first, but it's helped me stop judging "where I am" all the time in the big game and see things from a larger perspective.

A book by Eckhart Tolle, The Power of Now, might be helpful to you as well.


--------------------
Monday Night Weirdness! Episode 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, Proverbs of Hell from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: ChairmanMeow]
    #11099143 -

The realization that nothing matters can be a very great one, or a very hectic one...

The great thing about it is, it means you can do anything you can imagine, you just have to be creative and do the funnest things you can think of.

Stay in school BTW since even though nothing matters, you still live in a society that thinks that shit does matter, and will punish you dearly for ever thinking otherwise.

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: The Centre]
    #11099299 -

The Centre said:
The realization that nothing matters can be a very great one, or a very hectic one...

The great thing about it is, it means you can do anything you can imagine, you just have to be creative and do the funnest things you can think of.

Stay in school BTW since even though nothing matters, you still live in a society that thinks that shit does matter, and will punish you dearly for ever thinking otherwise.


Well... yes and no...

YES stay in school despite the existential crisis, don't let feelings of futility call the shots; BUT

NO don't let the fear of all society's reprisals dictate to you how to live. There are many different ways to forge your own way in the world. As much schooling as you can get that nourishes you -- great. If, however, it's a matter of your parents telling you you're never going to get anywhere without it... not true.

First, school isn't what it used to be, and second, if it's not important enough to you to take on a possibly crippling debt at a young age that will MANDATE selling your soul to an employer, seriously consider your alternatives. These days you get a substandard education for a huge amount of money, and it doesn't even entitle you to a menial job, much less a great one that will cover your loan payments along with frills like rent & groceries.

Don't let anyone tell you there's one way to live. There ARE people who have escaped the box. It's less scary to live like everyone else -- plenty of role models, but ultimately, it's dishonest and unfulfilling.


--------------------
Monday Night Weirdness! Episode 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10

"The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."
- William Blake, Proverbs of Hell from The Marriage of Heaven and Hell.

Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: ChairmanMeow]
    #11099551 -

You have to carve your own path.

Feeling trapped by societal expectations is completely understandable.

But if you figure out what you want from life, what you want to do with life, you can mold those societal expectations into tools for helping you achieve your goals (whatever they may be).

Sure, nothing lasts forever, so there is a degree of impermanence in everything.  But the fact that there are temporal limits on your accoplishments doesn't have any influence on the power that the things you do now have for you and the people around you now.

Eke out your space in the moment. Enjoy the company and value of everyone else who is sharing this rocky ride through the ever-changing now.  Be good family.

Sure school isn't the ideal situation for learning and growing, but it's one that will generally serve as a stepping stone to the things you want to do down the line.  And once in a while if you look at it right, you can find some greater value beyond what they're trying to teach you.

(What you're experiencing, by the way, is called an "existential crisis". I don't know if knowing that it has a name helps, but it's something that pretty much everyone goes through when they're growing up)


--------------------
Bufotenine Yopo/Cebil Info | Guide to Hunting/Using Fly Agarics
Good Drug Books
PCPiHKAL|Rhodium

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: Entropymancer]
    #11100823 -

grawse, you are perfectly normal. :thumbup:

Listen to ChairmanMeow and Entropymancer. Good advice/perspective.  :mushroom2:

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Re: Complete Lack of motivation, during and after trip. [Re: ChairmanMeow]
    #11100866 -

ChairmanMeow said:
The Centre said:
The realization that nothing matters can be a very great one, or a very hectic one...

The great thing about it is, it means you can do anything you can imagine, you just have to be creative and do the funnest things you can think of.

Stay in school BTW since even though nothing matters, you still live in a society that thinks that shit does matter, and will punish you dearly for ever thinking otherwise.


Well... yes and no...

YES stay in school despite the existential crisis, don't let feelings of futility call the shots; BUT

NO don't let the fear of all society's reprisals dictate to you how to live. There are many different ways to forge your own way in the world. As much schooling as you can get that nourishes you -- great. If, however, it's a matter of your parents telling you you're never going to get anywhere without it... not true.

First, school isn't what it used to be, and second, if it's not important enough to you to take on a possibly crippling debt at a young age that will MANDATE selling your soul to an employer, seriously consider your alternatives. These days you get a substandard education for a huge amount of money, and it doesn't even entitle you to a menial job, much less a great one that will cover your loan payments along with frills like rent & groceries.

Don't let anyone tell you there's one way to live. There ARE people who have escaped the box. It's less scary to live like everyone else -- plenty of role models, but ultimately, it's dishonest and unfulfilling.


I just say stay in school for a worst case scenario...

Shit, if you have to get in debt for it fuck that!

What I'm going to do is get as much schooling in Horticulture as I can survive without pulling all my hair out of my skull, learn all the edible and poisonous plants of Peru as my mind can handle, sell some shrooms, save up, get some good Cannabis seeds, and any food crop that will grow good in Peru, and buy an one way ticket to Peru and never come back. Sell hashish for a living...

And forget about the world outside the forest entirely...

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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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