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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics > The Psychedelic Experience
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I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip
    #1665565 -

Hello Shroomers.

last night I tripped for the third time in my life. My first experience was the greatest. My second trip was bad, I suffered hard boredom. I am not sure of the strains, but the first batch was cracker dry. My second trip, the shrooms were still kind of wet. Both times were purchased from somebody else. Now, my third trip were some Golden Teachers that I was growing in a Mycobag. I'm not sure wether I had a bad trip due to the strain (too intense) or because of the cake's circumstances.

Like the idiot I am, I dropped the mycobag about 5 different times. After I removed the bag, I must have dropped the cake about 3 different times. After shocking the cake because of growth stalling, several stems turned blue. My first flush was maybe 2 grams. The caps weren't even fully open, but the stems were blue so I ripped them. I ate one that was 2 inches long (stem), and ate 2 real real tiny ones. I ate them at 3 AM, the trip must have came down at 1 PM. The trip was 1/3 pleasant, 1/3 scary-bad, and 1/3 frustrating/confusing. I experienced ego- death, now all men look at me like I'm a jerk or better than them, and the ladies can't stop looking at me. Maybe it's because my motives is that nothing matters, which is truth. But I am scared. I recovered from my first two trips easily. I am worried about this one. My question is, is Ego- Death permanent? Will I recover back to my normal life? Sure, it feels good to one with myself and God like. But, I feel I don't deserve this because my whole life was been all play and no work. I am 18 years old, and my life has just started since I've grasped a father figure, my father. I haven't worked for nothing in my life, yet I was liberated by these shrooms. I feel dirty and that I cheated. Please, somebody answer my questions. Thank you shroomery fam in advance.


*******EDIT******* Joolie 3, 2003. 3:23PM

Okay, here goes. Long before my Golden Teacher trip, I was messing around with hypnosis. About 2-3 months ago, I purchased instructions online on how to induce self-hypnosis. I wanted to get the ladies, but I ain't want to do the approaching (another sign of all play no work-no guts). So I induced confidence on myself. Day by day, I saw the reactions, as well as myself change. Big mistake, I sold my soul just for the girlies, what a fuckin idiot. Sure, I had 99.9% of all females looking at me now, and 97.9% of the men looking at the ground cuz of my presence. I didn't even know that I was schizo until I was admitted to the fucking PSYCHE Ward. Word of advice, if you are schizo, please don't fuck wit hypnosis. The fake confidence brought up a dumb defensive mechanism. So, from disrespecting my family,friends,and people, I was desperate to undo this hypnosis. I couldn't do it myself, I tried each time. So, finally I went to seek professional help. They illegally admitted me cuz I was '' a threat to society''. I was stuck in the psyche ward for 7-8 days, pure hell. I said to myself, okay. At least I'm not disrespecting my loved ones, now I'm just disrespecting the doctors and crazy people (which I found out, weren't really crazy people as depicted on tv). So they give me medication that they said so called will UNDO the hypnosis. I thought to myself, this is bullshit. How the fuck is medicine gonna take this hypnosis shit off? From being there 7-8 days, I might have saw/felt my normal self for a total of 2 hours. I had to find out thru my sister that I was schizo, beautiful. The doctors won't tell you shit. The medication were tranquilizers, Abilify and Diphenhydramine for sleeping I think. I looked them up when I got home, surprisingly, Abilify did have to do something with hypnosis. But my sister told me, the medication is to stablize my schizophrenia. So, I'm home, I ordered this hypnosis CD online called '' cancel suggestions''. I was so hyped that it was gonna rid me of the powers. Wrong, It only strengethened it and helped me manage it better. So, finally. My last attempt was the harvest of my Golden teacher. I purposely tripped to be rid of my hypnosis powers. I said, God; please take away my hypnosis powers, they can never ever be used again no matter how much I try. So ther I was getting that 1/3 1/3 1/3 trip. When I came down, I believed God took it away............................so I was like what the fuck is wrong wit everybody? Girls still lookin at me, men lookin at the floor. I felt like Super Mario, I said maybe that's why. But in reality, I found it....that my powers were still wit me. Really sad, so the bad trip was CAUSED by the hypnosis. I really really wish I haven't messed wit hypnosis, all becuz of the fuckin girls. SHIT. okay, I'm done. Now ya'll can laugh at me.


--------------------
huhhhhhhhh

Edited by ReefeRnShroomS (07/03/03 01:21 PM)

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1665587 -

Relax man. Things will blow over. Shrooms have a way of grabbing you deep where you least expect it. You're only 18. You have your whole life ahead of you and to succeed in life, all you have to do is want to.

The bad shroom experience will pass. Give it time. Next time you trip, try to find a friend who's experienced.

Good luck!


--------------------
Republican Values:

1) You can't get married to your spouse who is the same sex as you.
2) You can't have an abortion no matter how much you don't want a child.
3) You can't have a certain plant in your possession or you'll get locked up with a rapist and a murderer.

4) We need a smaller, less-intrusive government.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Diploid]
    #1665651 -

First of all, how can you be bored on shrooms? I didn't think that was possible. How can you not have your ego back? You don't seem to be clear on the concept. Ego-death is something experienced while on shrooms, when you lose meaning of self. Your perspective on everything may has changed since the trip, but you're not experiencing ego-death anymore. Diploid gave you good advice though.... I'm 18 myself and our entire lives are ahead of us. Bush never worked for a thing in his life and he's our president. Also, there's no way the cake itself gave you a bad trip... a bad trip is the result of poor planning, a bad mental state, or negative vibes.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1665719 -

Ego death = ego SEPERATION. Your ego doesn't wither and die, and it will still be there when you get back. Last time I ate shrooms, I had some seperation, and it scared the bejesus out of me. It was rough, and at the same time, taught me a few hard hitting truths. That was the other weekend, and I'm fine. The next day was a bit strange, a bit drained and confused, but the next few days I was happier than ever. Don't stress it, it usually passes. Thinking it won't ever go will create more problems than you already have.
And I don't think the shrooms were bad - just the wrong set, setting and frame of mind.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Sheepish]
    #1665790 -

you just had to stick in an insult of GW didnt you?

I suggest you think before you speak..whether or not his dad helped him become president is irrevelent. It is pretty ignorant to think he has NEVER worked for anything in his life.



--------------------
Life is worth much more than gold.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: InSearchOfIt]
    #1665791 -

Ummm, what the fuck are you talking about?

EDIT : Next time, reply to the person you're talking to. It's not that difficult.

Edited by Sheepish (06/26/03 09:33 PM)

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Sheepish]
    #1665820 -

Man you must be fucking crazy to defend george bush

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Zutroye]
    #1665885 -

Insearch, i think you really need to do some research on bush and how he has come into power, i think that if you knew the truth behind him you wouldnt be defending him so readily. And to reefn, i thing your taking this thing too far, i understand bad trips and have had a few, once i actually truly thought i was dead for about 2 hours, but i think your just a little freaked out by what happened.


--------------------
"I celebrate the Earth, my home, my mother, my grave, and as long as men are Man they must, if they would preserve the integrated being, do the same---[and preserve]--this rank casual hungry smelly sweaty lusting transitory body, my oozy pulpy liquid-bag-swollen body, bones, blood, hair glands, my bejeweled sex; I love and celebrate it all.  never to let men forget that they are animals as much as gods---that is one thing I shall say."

  Edward Abbey

Edited by hawksapprentice (06/26/03 10:02 PM)

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Zutroye]
    #1665897 -

Thanks everyone, I guess I will be back to normal within 2 days. I was bored on trip number 2 and 3, like something was missing. These Golden teacher's taught me toooooo much, I learned so much. I couldn't even fully cry, like I am suppose to. It was like Ying Yang. When I was speaking to God, the devil would creep up. It's like they both just took turns ripping at me.



--------------------
huhhhhhhhh

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1665911 -

Just take what you learnt, or remember from the trip, and turn it into something positive in your life. It may just be a thought you had when you were so far gone, it could be a feeling, it could be anything. It can be overwhelming, having all these thoughts and feelings just come rushing up during a trip. But they appeared for a reason. Work through them.
And if you find nothing of importance, well, just look back and say "Wow, that was just unexplainable" and feel good to be alive :smile: 

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1666375 -

Don't worry bro'. A bad experience can affect you for a few days, but you will notice things improve as you get your thoughts in order.

Good Luck


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1666424 -

live and learn my friend.


--------------------
-Completely FazEd
Leggo my Ego

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: FazEd]
    #1667698 -

this has happened to me while tripping acid. it goes away, you will be fine. compare it to sex when you blow a load you feel different for a few minutes and then things clear up. well, you had a hell of a mindfuck and your brain is still in the clearing up stage after blowing its load.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: four20snakeman]
    #1667772 -

I think too many newbies confuse what ego really is and what it means to enter egolessness.  Ego is a creation of the mind; a dualistic illusion which is the opposite of the true nature of mind.  Psychedelics can, and often do, effect brain chemistry to the point where a forced egolessness is achieved.  But let's look at your statements...

>>now all men look at me like I'm a jerk or better than them, and the ladies can't stop looking at me.

Nothing could be more egotistical than these comments.  You didn't lose it at all.  :smile:

>>Maybe it's because my motives is that nothing matters, which is truth.

Truth is a metaphor that is subjective to your own reality.  A trapping of the dualistic nature of ego.

>>Will I recover back to my normal life?

That depends what you define as a normal life.  Viewpoints and attitudes change; it's part of growing up and getting older.  Perhaps you had some insights on this trip that brought to the surface aspects about your own reality that you have previously been in either denial or resentment about?  Perhaps this last trip gave you the courage you need to move on into another direction in your life.  Perhaps this last trip simply showed you how things really are in your reality.  Only you can really answer the question if you'll return to a normal life.

>>I haven't worked for nothing in my life, yet I was liberated by these shrooms. I feel dirty and that I cheated.

Liberation comes from within your own mind...the shrooms only helped you change the direction and focus of the lens for a while...it's still your own consciousness that develops any insights from a trip.  Instead of feeling bad about your situation, why not concentrate on how blessed and fortunate you have been in these 18 years of your life? 

The basis of why you would feel dirty is only something you can truly deconstruct and remove from your personality...but don't let any missgivings you may have take away from your enjoyment of life.  One of the hardest things for anyone, myself included, is to learn to appreciate the impermanence of all things.  Change is the only constant in the universe.  Nothing stays the same forever.  Never feel bad or guilty for enjoying life when it's good.  Just realize the good will not always be there and be prepared to face the bad with as much integrity and willingness as you did with the good.

It seems to me that you've had a very deep experience with the golden teachers.  Take some time to yourself so you can meditate on what was brought to the forefront of your consciousness.  Perhaps returning to a "normal life" is what you fear most?

Good luck with your search.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1667830 -

I think Boppity is right on point. From my own experience, when I was 18 and first used psychedelics, I felt that nothing matters because all the things I was trying to achieve suddenly seemed silly and pointless. Up until that point I was trying to be what everyone wanted me to be, and that was my motivation in life. Psychedelics showed me that it doesn?t matter what anyone else wants me to be, and that I needed to develop who I was. I don?t know how much of this rings true with you, but that was my experience.


Either way, you?ll be fine in time, it?s just a period of adjustment. I think as time goes on, and you start exploring life usually something clicks. It may feel like you?ve ruined your life, but that?s just the feelings from change. Use this as an opportunity to grow and I think you?ll find that your Golden Teacher taught you what you needed to be taught. Just give it time. :wink: It will be ok.


--------------------
The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Twirling]
    #1668115 -

"I haven't worked for nothing in my life, yet I was liberated by these shrooms."

"None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free." - Goethe

Don't feel guilty about feeling free of the "system". But remember, reality balances the benefits of tripping. Peace.


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1668185 -

so how's it goin?


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Strumpling]
    #1668260 -

I suggest whenever anyone asks a question we all just wait for Boppity to answer and not waste our time. LOL.

Quote:
you just had to stick in an insult of GW didnt you?


I't my favorite hobby. It's a simple fact that GW didn't have to worry about anything in his life... anything he would fuck up would be fixed by his daddy... he even got into the Texas National Guard to avoid the Vietnam draft after scoring a 25/100 on the entrance exam and despite a year-long waiting list. Read "The Best Democracy Money Can Buy" to learn firsthand from the best investigative reporter in the world, Greg Palast, all about the Bush family's storied business history, and how easy it was made for GW.

Sorry about the off-topic rant.


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1668476 -

You took them at 3am and you finished at 1pm? The trip lasted 10 hours???



--------------------
Don't worry, B. Caapi

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Xlea321]
    #1669112 -

>>You took them at 3am and you finished at 1pm? The trip lasted 10 hours???

My first successful cubensis trip lasted 8.5 hours.  :smile:

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1669127 -

you'll get over it.


--------------------
The best way to live
is to be like water
For water benefits all things
and goes against none of them
It provides for all people
and even cleanses those places
a man is loath to go
In this way it is just like Tao        ~Daodejing

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Xlea321]
    #1669179 -

My 3rd trip also lasted nearly 10 hours.


--------------------
I keep it real because I think it is important that a highly esteemed individual such as myself keep it real lest they experience the dreaded spontaneous non-existance of no longer keeping it real. - Hagbard Celine

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1669618 -

Dude , you are young and you are evolving. It is natural and healthy to question your own values and to then modify them. this is called growing. the catapillar hesitated as it entered the cacoon.....will I be a butterfly.............................?? ********


I AM.........was the answer......after he had become..........

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1670237 -

..but not with 2grams!! How on earth did your trip get so intense? Im lucky if I feel a thing with 2 grams, not even thinking about "ego-loss".


--------------------
Perception is limited to consciousness.Expand it and unfold other realities.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Strumpling]
    #1670270 -

If you think you ruined your life then you can and may ruin your life.... if you think you haven't ruined your life and that this is just the beginning, then it can and may BE just the beginning..

Think about your perspective and your possibilities


--------------------
Insert an "I think" mentally in front of eveything I say that seems sketchy, because I certainly don't KNOW much. Also; feel free to yell at me.
In addition: SHPONGLE

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1670527 -

MY ADVICE:

trip again and conquer your fear.. like that mustang in the end of that movie. or youll never be the same... less confident, scared, sweaty, etc...

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Benji]
    #1670572 -

I think this guy is full of it.... he hasn't even responded yet


--------------------
Anything stated above is fictional roleplay dialog by the character that is Slapnut Rob, in no way representing the actions or beliefs of the man behind the keys.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #1670582 -

Hey would you want to live the rest of your live without knowing how this felt? like did it not teach you something?

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: JazzMatazz]
    #1670622 -

Quote:
..but not with 2grams!!



I wouldn't doubt it. Last trip I ate around 2 dry grams, and I had a very strong Level 3/bordering on Level 4 trip.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Sheepish]
    #1670803 -

There is a post in the other drugs forum regarding HPPD/PHPD. Might be a good read...


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1671107 -

Hey man, feel good you're learning stuff all the time.

Just don't think you can only talk to God while you are on drugs.

Later.


--------------------
Namaste

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: RedNucleus]
    #1671550 -

I'm full of it cuz I didn't respond? Okay.

My first flush was only 2 grams, lol.....I didn't even eat 2 grams. I only ate one gram. Why was my trip so intense like always? Maybe cuz I am terribly skinny. I only weigh 120 pounds, shit, it's so hard for me to gain weight.

After I found out what was wrong with myself, I stopped posting here. Doesn't that make sense. I'm not a doggy on a leash to serve this forum.

Does anyone believe in Hypnosis? If ya'll do, you will understand. And maybe I will contine to discuss it, not that it matters. I know people who do and do not believe in hypnosis. But, to induce on yourself and SEE the drastic changes, is proof that it exists. And I ain't talking about the swinging pendelum and you're getting sleepy.


--------------------
huhhhhhhhh

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1672200 -

chill dude
we all freinds here :>

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: MuShi_KiNg]
    #1673737 -

How's everything going? Better?


--------------------
The very nature of experience is ineffable; it transcends cognitive thought and intellectualized analysis. To be without experience is to be without an emotional knowledge of what the experience translates into. The desire for the understanding of what life is made of is the motivation that drives us all. Without it, in fear of the experiences what life can hold is among the greatest contradictions; to live in fear of death while not being alive.


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Twirling]
    #1674990 -


Oh my god dude.

'back to normal'?  You've been given a GIFT my friend!

First of all, you've been given a gift in the spiritual essence in the way that you now know the truth. You now know that this is just part of the everlasting experience, and now you can go and grab life by the balls and say "fuck you! i will live how i want!" (or something along those lines) =P  Your third eye is finaly opened, after years of darkness.
You ARE better then those men, along those lines.

Secondly, oh man...i cant beleive you'd want to give this up. Because of what you know, you have received the gift of CONFIDENCE. This is easy to asume considering you now know that nothing matters.  Dont treat this confidence like its such an easy thing to aquire. Most men dream of it, and all girls will be attracted to it. (Hence the reactions you've been getting.)  Don't believe me?
Gotto www.sosuave.com and read around a bit.  It's basicaly educating men to practice getting what you've GOT.
As long as you're not actualy being a big jerk to everyone, you should treat this change as the best thing thats ever happened to you.

And you're only 18. How lucky for you.
Stop mopping and pick the nicest girl thats looking at you and go talk to her.  :grin:



--------------------
~Happy sailing~

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1676888 -

But I am scared. I recovered from my first two trips easily. I am worried about this one. My question is, is Ego- Death permanent?

If you experienced permanent ego-death, who would there be left to be afraid and worried?


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Swami]
    #1676931 -

Eh...

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Diploid]
    #1677116 -

Not being at all insensitive. Worry comes only from the ego. Therefore if he is worried, then he is not in a state of permanent ego-death. Quite elementary my dear Watson.


--------------------



The proof is in the pudding.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Swami]
    #1677122 -

Eh...

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Diploid]
    #1677439 -

>>Swami, you're being kinda insensitive to the guy.

Sorry Diploid, but I don't see how Swami's message was insensitive at all? His message spoke directly to the truth of the matter and most likely was meant to be so direct to help reefer feel better. Nobody here is being insensitive...at least not in my eyes.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Hey... [Re: Boppity604]
    #1679109 -

My first psychedelic trip, at age 19 was with dried Cubensis, 3.5 grams, and a few bowls of NorCal's finest. I was alone at my moms house- and I too experienced that ego-loss thing (wrapped tightly in bed sheets). It lasted from 10:30am and started tapering off at 7:30pm.

It wasn't pleasant and it wasn't pretty, but I wouldn't go back and change any thing about that experience. Mindfuq. For a while my thoughts seemed out of order, but now I realize they've just been rearranged for the better.

You will realize this too someday. I'm still only 20,(although I feel older in a way) and have tripped several times since that difficult first.


--------------------
Gotta love life cuz life be lovin me

Edited by Tavarua (07/02/03 03:21 AM)

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Re: Hey... *DELETED* [Re: Tavarua]
    #1680451 -

Post deleted by Sir Ian

Reason for deletion: _


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Re: Hey... [Re: nothing]
    #1681864 -

Well damn, I do have a bad back. Lower back, it's killing me. My back has been hurting for at least 4 years now. I've been wondering if I have diabetes cuz I've been trying to gain weight my whole life. And oh yeah, I am schizophrenic. I am only one with myself when tripping. The hypnosis is a long story. Maybe I'll type it up tomorrow. The thing, I didn't know I was schizo until I dabbled in hypnosis. Oh how much I wish that I never messed wit hypnosis.


--------------------
huhhhhhhhh

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1682078 -

this is my second extremely positive and complimenting post toningt, but this resonce was amazingly wise and true. It not only answered what he was asking, but it put be in a good mood, after being in a slump for these last few days. :thumbup: :smile: 

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: domite]
    #1684000 -

Okay, here goes. Long before my Golden Teacher trip, I was messing around with hypnosis. About 2-3 months ago, I purchased instructions online on how to induce self-hypnosis. I wanted to get the ladies, but I ain't want to do the approaching (another sign of all play no work-no guts). So I induced confidence on myself. Day by day, I saw the reactions, as well as myself change. Big mistake, I sold my soul just for the girlies, what a fuckin idiot. Sure, I had 99.9% of all females looking at me now, and 97.9% of the men looking at the ground cuz of my presence. I didn't even know that I was schizo until I was admitted to the fucking PSYCHE Ward. Word of advice, if you are schizo, please don't fuck wit hypnosis. The fake confidence brought up a dumb defensive mechanism. So, from disrespecting my family,friends,and people, I was desperate to undo this hypnosis. I couldn't do it myself, I tried each time. So, finally I went to seek professional help. They illegally admitted me cuz I was '' a threat to society''. I was stuck in the psyche ward for 7-8 days, pure hell. I said to myself, okay. At least I'm not disrespecting my loved ones, now I'm just disrespecting the doctors and crazy people (which I found out, weren't really crazy people as depicted on tv). So they give me medication that they said so called will UNDO the hypnosis. I thought to myself, this is bullshit. How the fuck is medicine gonna take this hypnosis shit off? From being there 7-8 days, I might have saw/felt my normal self for a total of 2 hours. I had to find out thru my sister that I was schizo, beautiful. The doctors won't tell you shit. The medication were tranquilizers, Abilify and Diphenhydramine for sleeping I think. I looked them up when I got home, surprisingly, Abilify did have to do something with hypnosis. But my sister told me, the medication is to stablize my schizophrenia. So, I'm home, I ordered this hypnosis CD online called '' cancel suggestions''. I was so hyped that it was gonna rid me of the powers. Wrong, It only strengethened it and helped me manage it better. So, finally. My last attempt was the harvest of my Golden teacher. I purposely tripped to be rid of my hypnosis powers. I said, God; please take away my hypnosis powers, they can never ever be used again no matter how much I try. So ther I was getting that 1/3 1/3 1/3 trip. When I came down, I believed God took it away............................so I was like what the fuck is wrong wit everybody? Girls still lookin at me, men lookin at the floor. I felt like Super Mario, I said maybe that's why. But in reality, I found it....that my powers were still wit me. Really sad, so the bad trip was CAUSED by the hypnosis. I really really wish I haven't messed wit hypnosis, all becuz of the fuckin girls. SHIT. okay, I'm done. Now ya'll can laugh at me.


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huhhhhhhhh

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1684052 -

Correct me if I am wrong, but hypnosis only works if you want it to, so if you made a few suggestions to your subconscious and you do not want them any more you just have to not think about it, or change your perspective.

Any hypnosis gimmick that you can buy over the phone or Internet is usually just relaxing music with suggestions in the background. If you think to yourself while listening to them that they are funny and rather dumb then it will not work on you. Basically by telling yourself that you are lazy and do not want to do anything you are living a self fulfilling prophecy.

Hypnosis cannot induce schizophrenia or make it worse unless if you are under a deep trance and somebody else suggest's to you that you have these symptoms. Even then it is just a suggestion to your brain.

If I were you I would research hypnotism more before first trying it. And also research schizophrenia and the symptoms. I have been mis per scribed as being schizophrenia before but it tuned out to be insomnia. Doctor's cannot see the world threw your eye's, so they have to go by a sheet of symptoms's and judging by your story they thought you are schizo. I am not saying that you are not a schizophrenia but there have been too many times when a person has been per scribed that and taken the med's for no reason at all, and in the long run it just made them more fucked up.


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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: FlusH]
    #1684302 -

You're absolutely right, hypnosis is simply a trance state in which you're more open to suggestion. You will not do anything in a hynotic trance that you would not do out of one. Hypnotists do not have any power to make you do things against your will when you're under. If you have emotional issues or indeed suffer from schizophrenia, I would strongly suggest you stop using psychedelics and start legitimate psychiatric counseling.

>>How the fuck is medicine gonna take this hypnosis shit off?

Hypnotic suggestions are not something you "start" and then cannot "stop." I don't mean to upset you but this entire explanation you have given about "hypnosis" sounds like the beginning of an early-onset psychotic break. If this is indeed the first time you've been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I would definitely seek the proper help to ease the condition. There are plenty of functional schizophrenics thanks to the new drug therapies available. But I would definitely tell your psychiatrist that you've dosed psychedelics. Might be relevant, might not...but it's better to let them know about anything you've dosed.

Good luck.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1684737 -

Yeah. It sounds like the whole hypnosis thing happened at the same time as the beginning of a break. I suppose that it's also possible that, like psychedelics, it could induce a break, but this seems very unlikely to me.


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"Do we want the stars? We can have them. Can we borrow cups of fire from the sun? We can and must and light the world." --"On the Shoulders of Giants", Ray Bradbury

All of my posts are full of fiction and blatant lies.

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Sev]
    #1684798 -

I would think based of his perceptions of people all around him and how he reacted to the doctors/people at the clinic that the entire hypnotism train of thought is just an element of the break.

Reefer, if you're not just making stuff up for attention's sake, you do need to see a psychiatrist, they can help you. Good luck.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1684944 -

I ain't making this stuff up. Is a psycho therapist and psychiatrist one in the same? I guess I'll go for sessions, I just don't want to be in the nut house again. I just need this defensive mechanism under wraps and put away for good. Thank you,everybody.


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huhhhhhhhh

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: ReefeRnShroomS]
    #1685020 -

>>Is a psycho therapist and psychiatrist one in the same?

No. Psychiatrists aside from being training in various forms of traditional psycotherapy are also medical doctors. They can prescribe medication as well as conduct therapy. Psychologists and therapists can only conduct therapy. They cannot prescribe medications. If you truly have schizophrenia, you'll need to work with a psychiatrist. And you never know...if you haven't been properly diagnosed...you might not really be schizophrenic...you could have some other mental disorders or emotional problems that are causing the current issues. If they have made the diagnosis, you can only help yourself by getting into a program. Best of luck to you.

Love & Light,

Boppity

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: Boppity604]
    #1686882 -

Your beleif that you have hypnosis powers probably has nothing to do with the shrooms (although they could induce a psychotic break) but probably from the psychosis associated with schizophrenia. I was diagnosed 3 years ago and for the first year or so i didnt understand what was wrong with me and beleived it was a spiritual thing that was caused by something i did wrong. Beleiveing you have certain powers or special abilities is a common thing with sz, and most people have similar delusions to yours (i beleived i could induce diseases upon people through thought and that i was a decendant of hitler and i must be evil because i share his birth day). Like you i also thought that everyone was looking at me or talking about me (but not that they desired me or anything as is your perception). Also, to the person who said you shouldnt trip if you have this illness, i take 4mg of risperidal a day and i am still able to trip with no noticeable side effects as long as i trip early in the day (because i take my risperidal in the afternoon and at night and it seems to completely stop the trip), Although everyone is different and it may still cause you problems.

Edited by shroomer44 (07/04/03 07:33 PM)

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: SlapnutRob]
    #12581397 -

SlapnutRob said:
First of all, how can you be bored on shrooms?  I didn't think that was possible.  How can you not have your ego back?  You don't seem to be clear on the concept.  Ego-death is something experienced while on shrooms, when you lose meaning of self.  Your perspective on everything may has changed since the trip, but you're not experiencing ego-death anymore.  Diploid gave you good advice though.... I'm 18 myself and our entire lives are ahead of us.  Bush never worked for a thing in his life and he's our president.  Also, there's no way the cake itself gave you a bad trip... a bad trip is the result of poor planning, a bad mental state, or negative vibes. 


if you arent stimulating yourself while you trip you can become bored (unstimulated) and trip out a bit. thats what happens to me. the shrooms i have eaten are intense as hell. i have to be doing something to vent all of the commotion and ruckus that goes on in my brain, like walk, or talk or both, draw, build, read something, anything that will stimulate your brain while you trip. layin in a bed not doing anything but blankly spacing out made me lose my good trip because i wasnt doing anything. (this is my reasoning).

(agreeing with you)


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Edited by The Lost Dream (05/17/10 07:39 PM)

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: The Lost Dream]
    #12581501 -

Can you elaborate a little bit on this "hypnosis" you performed on yourself?


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***** (10:42:46 PM): This is so strange
***** (10:42:53 PM): Becuase I feel that I am very altered
***** (10:42:57 PM): But at the same exact time
***** (10:43:28 PM): I am closer to the real me, the real me who decides who I am, the entire me

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Re: I THINK I Ruined My Life - Golden Teacher Trip [Re: The Lost Dream]
    #12581825 -

Just so you know, this thread is about 7 years old.


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The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.

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Re: Hey... [Re: Tavarua]
    #12582152 -

ill have what your havin!


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"the path to knighthood is paved with strength and nobility, not LSD and sideburns"

:paperairplane:  :shroomeryhead:

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Re: Hey... [Re: Kevin_X2]
    #12582753 -

Rofl. If this is real I wonder what the OP is up to right about now...


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baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pVZBTAYm3rw

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