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Community > Physical and Mental Well-Being
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suicidal friend
    #11065165 -

got a call from a friend... she was crying and said she feels like shit. asked her if she had been drinking, she said she just feels like shit because her life sucks right now.

she dropped out of college and has no job. moved back with her dad who wakes her up by yelling "GET A JOB". her mom died a year ago. she has no motivations or idea what to do with her life. basically no ones there for her and i get random calls with her sobbing on the line and me not being able to comfort her because her life does suck. i've kind of been where she is and i feel she's suicidal. she doesn't mutilate herself but i do think she needs help but her family is cold as ice and her friends don't get it.

what to doooo?


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Re: suicidal friend [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #11065192 -

Make her promise to call a hotline, you can google one up pretty quickly for your area. They deal with these types of calls and have the proper training on how to deal with them.

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Re: suicidal friend [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #11065255 -

There's nothing you could do for her because it's only a matter of her feelings. However, if I were you, I'd try to help her focus on the positive aspects of her life (don't tell me there aren't cause everyone has both good and bad stuff going on), and maybe help her realize that first she needs to get the fuck away from her dad. If any of her friends/relatives/whatever can keep her for a while until she starts feeling more in control over herself, which I feel it might be the case since at least she won't feel pressured and threatened by her dad, then maybe she will start figuring out what she wants to do, or at least what she doesn't want.


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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Re: suicidal friend [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #11065295 -

Quote:
Make her promise to call a hotline, you can google one up pretty quickly for your area. They deal with these types of calls and have the proper training on how to deal with them.



empty effort. she doesn't need that sort of thing right now. i know i wouldn't give a fuck about a random person on a telephone who is paid to talk bs to me.

Quote:
There's nothing you could do for her because it's only a matter of her feelings. However, if I were you, I'd try to help her focus on the positive aspects of her life (don't tell me there aren't cause everyone has both good and bad stuff going on), and maybe help her realize that first she needs to get the fuck away from her dad. If any of her friends/relatives/whatever can keep her for a while until she starts feeling more in control over herself, which I feel it might be the case since at least she won't feel pressured and threatened by her dad, then maybe she will start figuring out what she wants to do, or at least what she doesn't want.


she feels desperate and perhaps trapped like she has nowhere to go. i don't really wanna tell her how to live her life, guess i'll have to sit it out and see how she copes with it.


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Re: suicidal friend [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #11075706 -

I wouldn't say that they're paid to talk BS...because usually it's volunteers, and more often than not, they do care.  As human beings (knowing the one you're talking to or not) most of us don't like seeing/hearing sadness.  We want to help.  If you assume that it's payed bullshit, then that's what you'll get, because that's what you tihnk it is. 

Hotlines have saved many many people, don't underestimate them.


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|| All that is now, all that is gone, all that's to come, and everything under the sun is in tune; the sun is eclipsed by the moon ||

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Re: suicidal friend [Re: Bridgeburner]
    #11077021 -

Well...the father doesn't need to treat her that way...but if she's seriously lackluster about life goals he might be a little frustrated.

I'm a firm believer that letting someone be if the best way to help them figure out their shit. If they specifically *ask* for you, then act. Her father might see it as "well she's lounging around today; she can't lounge around for the rest of her life!" which is true to a certain extent, but then we get back to the beginning of this paragraph...so I would tell her to wake up before her father and get out of the house. At least *act* like your trying to find a job to get his sorry ass off your back.

With that initial action, maybe she'll even find a job :shrug: Even getting out and talking to people will help her find out what she likes/dislikes. Tell her to talk to people who's occupation interests her. If that's not possible, tell her to do things she finds fun & interesting, even if it's riding bike. She needs to be reminded of what *enjoyment* is or she will be lost for longer than necessary.

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Re: suicidal friend [Re: fazdazzle]
    #11077172 -

i agree with almost everything you said. i try to get her out of the apartment once a week & talk. i thought i might talk to her about meditation or breathing exercises to calm her down when she's feeling shitty. she can't control her emotions and just lets people get to her too easily. i think its a growing up phase.

she's into photography, told her to just go to photo shops and ask if they are hiring, just a chat. she's pretty artistic and likes making electronic music & stuff like that but she can't concentrate with her dad being a jerk. it's not like she's a dumb whore freeloader.


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