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Offlinephishytrip
Gillious Supreme
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Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 2,455
Loc: AZ, USA
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Suicidal Thoughts
    #1354408 - 03/06/03 09:49 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

When I die, fuck it I wanna go to hell
Cause I'm a piece of shit, it ain't hard to fuckin' tell
It don't make sense, goin' to heaven wit the goodie-goodies
Dressed in white, I like black Tims and black hoodies
God will probably have me on some real strict shit
No sleepin' all day, no gettin my dick licked
Hangin' with the goodie-goodies loungin' in paradise
Fuck that shit, I wanna tote guns and shoot dice
All my life I been considered as the worst
Lyin' to my mother, even stealin' out her purse
Crime after crime, from drugs to extortion
I know my mother wished she got a fuckin' abortion
She don't even love me like she did when I was younger
Suckin' on her chest just to stop my fuckin' hunger
I wonder if I died, would tears come to her eyes?
Forgive me for my disrespect, forgive me for my lies
My babies' mothers 8 months, her little sister's 2
Who's to blame for both of them
I swear to God I just want to slit my wrists and end this bullshit
Throw the Magnum to my head, threaten to pull shit
And squeeze, until the bed's, completely red
I'm glad I'm dead, a worthless fuckin' buddah head
The stress is buildin' up, I can't,
I can't believe suicide's on my fuckin' mind
I want to leave, I swear to God I feel like death is fuckin' callin' me
Naw you wouldn't understand
You see its kinda like the crack did to Pookie, in New Jack
Except when I cross over, there ain't no comin' back
Should I die on the train track, like Remo in Beatstreet
People at the funeral frontin' like they miss me
My baby momma kissed me but she glad I'm gone
She knew me and her sista had somethin' goin' on
I reach my peak, I can't speak,
call my nigga Chic, tell him that my will is weak.
I'm sick of niggas lyin', I'm sick of bitches hawkin',
matter of fact, I'm sick of talkin'.

-Notorious


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Remember: First you pillage, then you burn.


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Offlinephishytrip
Gillious Supreme
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Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 2,455
Loc: AZ, USA
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1354447 - 03/06/03 10:00 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

i was going to remove that post....but i just read it again, and i can really relate to that song...i have suicidal thoughts every night before i fall asleep...the only thing i do about them is hope and pray i dont wake up...no medicine, no person, no drugs, will ever change it....i guess im just fucked up then right?


--------------------
Remember: First you pillage, then you burn.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1354457 - 03/06/03 10:04 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

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Offlinephishytrip
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Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 2,455
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: ]
    #1354491 - 03/06/03 10:19 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:


How long have you wished to die?

What things depress you?

What kind of support group do you have outside the Shroomery? Family? Friends?




ive been wanting to die for a long time...3 or 4 years, ill just lay in bed and think about crazy ways to commit suicide but i never do them....sometimes ill be so trashed and ill think about even more crazy ways to commit suicide. so its not like one day im gonna get wasted and do it. there just thoughts....

my friends depress me, this place i live in depresses me, my family, my ex girlfriend, seems like i can never catch a break from life....and then most of all i depress my self....

i dont like talking about these things with poeple...i throw on a mask when im around other people, my friends and family have never heard me once speak about this....i only do it here becuase here i have no face and critizm is alot easier to take in writing then verbally


--------------------
Remember: First you pillage, then you burn.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1354511 - 03/06/03 10:26 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

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OfflineLoverofEarth
spirit on ajourney

Registered: 10/09/02
Posts: 206
Loc: the in-between
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1354557 - 03/06/03 10:42 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Cleansing and expansion. Self-destruction is an addiction. I recommend a 40 day retreat into the wilderness, preferrably a desert. Just you and your two hands. If you make the struggle for life, you will overcome these suicidal tendencies. Yeah you could starve to death or whatever, but if you are this unhappy with your surroundings, could it be any worse?


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OfflineCrayzzieShroomz
the MilkMAnne...

Registered: 02/28/03
Posts: 37
Last seen: 13 years, 9 months
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1354710 - 03/06/03 11:32 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

You gotta relax and just think of all the good things you'll be missing if you die. How old are you by the way???


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You live and You SHROOM......


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Offlinephishytrip
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Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 2,455
Loc: AZ, USA
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Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: CrayzzieShroomz]
    #1355467 - 03/06/03 06:50 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

I'm 19....yea like, it just seems more than usual that life is always kicking me in the ass...and when it does, i can fell it. a wierd tingle runs down my body and my mind goes blank and all i can say is fuck me, fuck me, fuck me....i mean is this shit bad....i never thought anything was bad, i dont know what horrible is, ive almost died 3 times. 2 car accidents and an overdose on GHB....its like i cant die...and the amount of drugs and alcohol i do, i should be oding evernight....but i dont even come close to it...


--------------------
Remember: First you pillage, then you burn.


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Offlinezeronio
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Registered: 10/16/01
Posts: 2,349
Loc: Slovenia
Last seen: 1 year, 15 days
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: phishytrip]
    #1355744 - 03/06/03 10:37 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

You sound like me when I was 18...
First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong with you. Many people are depressed and succesfully hide it. Many great artists were depressive. You can view at as a gift since a period of depression is always followed by a period of hyperactivity in which you can do things different and much better then normal people.
I suggest that you find a way to turn it into creativity. That's the way I fight it - if I lay in bed and stare at the ceiling it only gets worse.
Don't behave and do things that you're "supposed" to do. The prevailing way of life and value system doesn't make much sense. You have to find your own way and don't care too much about what others say.

I hope I helped you. :grin: Carpe diem!
 


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Offlinephishytrip
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Registered: 10/08/02
Posts: 2,455
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Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: zeronio]
    #1357402 - 03/08/03 06:16 AM (14 years, 6 months ago)

yea creatiivty is what i like to do, i call it doing constructive things other than getting high, things i can do that will make me fell high, like when i clean my car i feel good after....so yea, creativity......also getting laid makes me happy too....


--------------------
Remember: First you pillage, then you burn.


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Invisiblecarbonhoots
old hand

Registered: 09/11/01
Posts: 1,351
Loc: BC Canada
Re: Suicidal Thoughts [Re: zeronio]
    #1359041 - 03/08/03 09:00 PM (14 years, 6 months ago)

Quote:

First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.




I'm gonna have to second that.

Their is a lot of shitty fuckin' shit out there...sometimes I think that only a loony could truly be happy in this world.

Hmm...

I've certainly felt that way. More than my fair share. What can help is some kind of eternal perspective. Some kind of religion.

C'mon. Death is just around the corner for all of us. Stick this short moment called life out, see what happens. Even if your hanging on the cross, it just might be for a real reason. It's still a short moment compared to eternity.

Honestly, why the fuck not? Death will come soon enough.



--------------------
  -I'd rather have a frontal lobotomy than a bottle in front of me

CANADIAN CENTER FOR POLICY ALTERNATIVES


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