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Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know)
    #9014868 -

Alright, so I've seen a girl a few times since I met her at a party, and the plan is to go to dinner tomorrow with her.  (AKA a formal date.)  Now, it's been a while since I've been in the dating game, as my last relationship was for a year and a half, so let me get your advice on the following question:

Should I pay for her meal or no?  I know tradition mandates that the guy always pays for the girl, but after reading The Game and other subversive literature on social-hacking the dating game, it seems to me that letting the girl pay for herself would show that I'm self-confident and not your typical shmuck that she can just bum a free meal off.  It would also make her more interested in me because I'm not showing that much interest in her (by paying for her dinner.)

Now, is this just me talking out of my cheap ass and not being a chivalrous guy, or do you think I should not pay for her dinner?
Should I pay for her dinner?
You may choose only one


Votes accepted from 10/01/08 06:19 PM until the end of time
You must vote before you can view the results of this poll



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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: deCypher]
    #9014898 -

I think you should pay for her meal because she will appreciate it and not think you are a cheapo. If you want her to know she can't just get free meals and have the relationship work out in that way then you need to set it straight somehow. Ideally she'll respect you for being self-confident and not a typical shmuck, but you'll also have class and not be a cheap ass.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: deCypher]
    #9014911 -

Do you know the kind of girl you are taking out?  Some are fiercely independent and will turn away from you at the dinner table if you insist on paying (but still bang you later that night). 

You could split the bill evenly like with friends.  I personally think that if you act like an ass and don't offer to pay for her, that will turn to bite you in the ass later when she finds out you're really not that way.

Be a gentleman, pay for her.  It pays off :yesnod:


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: Rebirtha]
    #9014920 -

Pay for her dinner. Once you get comfortable with her you can say how unsure you were about the first date for this reason.

It'll get the self-confidant image across to her.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: HB]
    #9014923 -

Oh and -- pay the first night, but don't pay for her on the second date, just split the bill then.  It will show that you're not a pushover but that you still have class :thumbup:


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: HB]
    #9014928 -

I would wait until right when it's time to pay for the check and read her to see if she's willing to pay for hers or see if she expects you to.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: imagine]
    #9014965 -

Defiantly pay. I would say you already expressed interest in her since this isn't the first time you've been out.

Girls dig gentlemen. I know I do. Just don't be a pussy. We hate that lol.


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"In the 60s people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal...go figure."

Becoming human was not part of the plan...

I wish I could be as high as my tolerance-danlennon

Reality is a crutch for those that can't cope with drugs.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: deCypher]
    #9015055 -

my advice... take her out, choke a burger down her
neck and treat her like a plastic fuck doll


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California Has Legalized Child Prostitution

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9015060 -

Good advice

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: Prisoner#1]
    #9015107 -

Prisoner#1 said:
my advice... take her out, choke a burger down her
neck and treat her like a plastic fuck doll


LOL!  that's my priz ...


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: HB]
    #9015133 -

HB said:
Oh and -- pay the first night, but don't pay for her on the second date, just split the bill then.  It will show that you're not a pushover but that you still have class :thumbup:


QFT...

There are also other general dating stipulations....

If you asked her out, then by all means pay for the first date. If she asked you, then go dutch. But HB is totally right, don't pay for the full second date unless you plan on paying for the rest of the relationship! If it helps you could also mention that before you go out the next time.

I mean in all seriousness, if you don't end up dating this girl and you pay for all your dates...you've just wasted your money and potential bought a hooker,that is if she sleeps with you. If she hasn't slept with you then you just wasted your money!


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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: HB]
    #9038207 -

HB said:
Oh and -- pay the first night, but don't pay for her on the second date, just split the bill then.  It will show that you're not a pushover but that you still have class :thumbup:


Alright, thanks for the advice, guys.  How best would you recommend bringing up the fact that I'm not going to pay for her on the second date without sounding like a complete cheap jackass, though?


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We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: deCypher]
    #9038272 -

Just ask her if it's cool, and do it anyway. ? I never worried about that kind of stuff. I paid when I wanted to, and sometimes when I didn't want to. But always on the first few dates.


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"If I had a single wish, I would have every single human on this planet see this natural world the way I see it; the beauty in such simple things such as a fallen tree that is covered in moss and that has new trees growing from it. To some, fallen trees are ugly. But in reality, it is the circle of life at its finest. This is a beautiful world, its time that we recognize that before its all gone."

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Re: Need advice on date with girl... (Most cliched post title ever, I know) [Re: deCypher]
    #9038580 -

The Cypher said:
HB said:
Oh and -- pay the first night, but don't pay for her on the second date, just split the bill then.  It will show that you're not a pushover but that you still have class :thumbup:


Alright, thanks for the advice, guys.  How best would you recommend bringing up the fact that I'm not going to pay for her on the second date without sounding like a complete cheap jackass, though?


Provided the first date goes well, you guys should be on good terms, and introducing the second date should go fairly smoothly.  I would just bring it up [dividing money up] at the time when you both decide where you will want to eat next, as a casual suggestion.  I've done it this way and the girls have never found me to be "cheap" or anything to that extent, I just explain that I have limited funds and it seems to be agreeable.

Additionally, there's no rule that the second date needs to be another dinner, which can bring down the excitement factor in doing the same thing twice.  Maybe you should consider what else could be worth doing that she could/will enjoy ... doing fun things definitely helps to keep a relationship alive and healthy, and most importantly not stale.


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So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. - Galatians 5:16

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