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 Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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 The Mosquito Mind 
#901790 - 09/23/02 01:04 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Okay
so, my head is driving me nuts again. I am unable to enjoy the freedom and luxuries that i have. The pestering thoughts dont leave me alone. They drain me of life.
I am afraid everything is going to disappear as soon as I start to really enjoy it.
im unable to accept the plain fact that I am here at this exact moment. My mind feels like its lost in other dimensions of time and space, fighting wars.
does this make sense to anyone or should i elaborate?
i have a hard time letting myself accept the benefits of technology, and other aspects of american culture that i am presented with...
these mental problems came about like a year ago when i moved into my apartment..
since ive just moved in with my grandparents, things have gotten alot easier
it used to be alot worse though, and i feel ive gotten alot better about it, but time and time again it keeps coming back to haunt me.. i know this cant be healthy...
any ideas?
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ViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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 Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Grav]
#901903 - 09/23/02 02:15 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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All i can say is welcome to my world buddy. I have been getting anxiety for about 7 years now, I do not take pills anymore cause they fuck with my head. A sure-fire technique i always use is to force my mind to be silent for up to 6 hours by using a blackout technique with my third eye, after that i move my awareness within my chest and concentrate on my inner light for the rest of the day. Once i have reached the inner-light phase the negative thoughts seem to be instead feeding my experience of bliss and only making me happier.
If your anxiety is as bad as mine which it sounds like then it wouldnt hurt to try.
pm for more info.
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" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "
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 WhiskeyClone
Not here
Registered: 06/25/01
Posts: 16,509
Loc: Longitudinal Center of Canada ...
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 Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Grav]
#901959 - 09/23/02 02:49 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Meditation is your answer. It will teach you to be sparing with your thoughts, and avoid the temptation of indulging in negativity. You'll realize just how silent your mind can really be. The type of fear and anxiety you describe is little more than a bad habit, and is not a necessary evil of life on earth. I would suggest getting a good, non-denominational, user-friendly book on meditation. After not too long, you'll get to re-experience the sensation of being at a mental "baseline", with no lingering fears or doubts. Feel free PM me if you have any questions or anything at all.
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Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man. For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire. Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.
~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Grav]
#901979 - 09/23/02 03:02 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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I remember a commercial on tv by some woman who runs the "anxiety foundation" or something like that...
they offer a free self-help tape for people with intense anxiety problems to overcome it without therapy and meds...
supposedly she suffered with anxiety for over 20 years and finally overcame it by herself... and I figure who else to get good advice from than someone who has been through it
the number was either 1-888-anxiety or 1-800 .. I don't remember...
I've procrastinated for too long calling the number.. but that's me always
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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promise? 
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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 Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Grav]
#902110 - 09/23/02 04:13 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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i am lost in a pretty picture hanging from the wall
dazed and slow waiting for the call
dirty shoes like dirty memories
walking through endless piles of shit
swinging back again after being tricked to think
this was the end.
oh how this joke has lost it's humor
from my lonely perspective, hiding in the dark
i am dreaming reality, can't see nothing real
these feelings are all i have, what may guide me through
is the bright light of love, this is my torch
i will use to burn my obstacles
guided by the light like the ignorant fly
enter these flames with no fear
purge my shadow, my darkly tainted soul
it is time, i have grown, closer now
engulf me.
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{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Grav]
#902140 - 09/23/02 04:32 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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i'd like to quote maynard right here 
Lateralus
Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn beyond the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition, missing opportunities and I must
Feed my will to feel my moment drawing way outside the lines.
Black then white are all I see in my infancy.
red and yellow then came to be, reaching out to me.
lets me see there is so much more
and beckons me to look through to these infinite possibilities.
As below, so above and beyond, I imagine
drawn outside the lines of reason.
Push the envelope. Watch it bend.
Over thinking, over analyzing separates the body from the mind.
Withering my intuition leaving all these opportunities behind.
Feed my will to feel this moment urging me to cross the line.
Reaching out to embrace the random.
Reaching out to embrace whatever may come.
I embrace my desire to
feel the rhythm, to feel connected
enough to step aside and weep like a widow
to feel inspired, to fathom the power,
to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain,
to swing on the spiral
of our divinity and still be a human.
With my feet upon the ground I lose myself
between the sounds and open wide to suck it in,
I feel it move across my skin.
I'm reaching up and reaching out,
I'm reaching for the random or what ever will bewilder me.
And following our will and wind we may just go where no one's been.
We'll ride the spiral to the end and may just go where no one's been.
Spiral out. Keep going, going...
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ViBrAnT
WaRpInG &sPiRaLiNg
Registered: 07/30/02
Posts: 286
Last seen: 20 years, 9 months
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Adamist]
#902289 - 09/23/02 05:38 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Oh i am feeling that, sounds like you are going well with building your astral bridge adamist. I can see the light now, it is up and to your right. As I grasp my inner light the connection becomes my grandest vision. It feels like i am watching everyone from the centre of the universe stumbling within ego, dazed and wandering. I should have made this into a poem myself, but you portrayed it beautifully.
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" liken this life illusory, for your sand castle will one day be adrift amongst the wind "
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#902337 - 09/23/02 05:56 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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heheh, yea Lozt, i thought i related well to that song...
he's got it right on the mark
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Albino_Jesus
Clearly Retarded
Registered: 09/14/02
Posts: 1,698
Loc: Construction ahead...
Last seen: 14 years, 2 months
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#902504 - 09/23/02 06:48 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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like, oh yeah, cause like, I forgot maynard is, like, god of all things
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The only difference between the Republican and Democratic parties is the velocities with which their knees hit the floor when corporations knock on their door.
-Ralph Nader
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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yup... and so am i... and you, too
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thePatient
Criminal Bodhisattva
Registered: 07/07/02
Posts: 3,289
Loc: Indiana
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In reply to:
like, oh yeah, cause like, I forgot maynard is, like, god of all things
why must you constantly ridicule people? I personally think that Maynard James Keenan is an enlightened individual, and i'd hold his opinion extremely higher than yours.
Edit: typo
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T h e r e a r e n o o r d i n a r y m o m e n t s.
Edited by thePatient (09/23/02 07:29 PM)
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Adamist
ℚṲℰϟ✞ЇѺℵ ℛ∃Åʟḯ†У
Registered: 11/23/01
Posts: 10,211
Loc: Bloomington, IN
Last seen: 9 years, 1 month
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The poster agreed himself that those lyrics were relevant to what he was trying to express, so why do you subtley attack Lozt Soul with sarcasm?
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{ { { ṧ◎ηḯ¢ αʟ¢ℌ℮мƴ } } }
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Calen
journeyman
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 87
Last seen: 21 years, 23 days
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#902709 - 09/23/02 08:03 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Lateralus
What in blazes! I"m buzzed and blitzed with tingles. ~.^ Normally, only melodic trance can do that me.
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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 Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Calen]
#902719 - 09/23/02 08:06 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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hear! hear! someone has felt the magic... welcome, my brother hehehehe... i know EXACTLY what you fell... the first time i heard that song... oh my god... especially when he starts "with my feet upon the ground...."
and don't even let me get started on the first time i head that song on shrooms... WOW
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Edited by Lozt Soul (09/23/02 08:07 PM)
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thePatient
Criminal Bodhisattva
Registered: 07/07/02
Posts: 3,289
Loc: Indiana
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#902728 - 09/23/02 08:09 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Tripping in the dark to Lateralus is the best!
I used to get major shiver/tingles while listening to The Patient by TOOL. Especially when the chorus starts with "If there were no desire to heal...". I could definitly relate to that song.
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T h e r e a r e n o o r d i n a r y m o m e n t s.
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Calen
journeyman
Registered: 08/23/02
Posts: 87
Last seen: 21 years, 23 days
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#902735 - 09/23/02 08:13 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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Yes, I felt it. Tingles all over the back of my body. Felt the warmth on my left frontside of my body, the heart.
I would like the name of the artist? I'm a trancefreak. I don't listen to vocals very much. this will be quite a change. heh
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: thePatient]
#902738 - 09/23/02 08:15 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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oh yes! the patient is truly BEAUTIFUL... it took some time for me to appreciate it, though... until i experienced something not so fun that changed my perception of things... the whole lateralus album guided, helped, and was with me through that time in my life... and after it "the patient" was the song i mostly related to...
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In(di)go
People of the sun.
Registered: 10/29/00
Posts: 8,157
Loc: Cologne, Germany
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: Calen]
#902746 - 09/23/02 08:19 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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the band is called "Tool"
check out their homepage and the official fansite ...
im glad you liked it...
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Grav
Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 4,454
Last seen: 11 years, 3 months
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Re: The Mosquito Mind [Re: In(di)go]
#903295 - 09/23/02 11:27 PM (21 years, 6 months ago) |
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mmmm... seein them twice in a month
i bought Lateralus when i took a trip to California. i remember riding in a car through the twisting valleys and listening to Disposition.. it was so beautiful, then riding down a big highway and listening to the Patient, everything was so peaceful..
when i got home i spent a few acid trips listening to that album. sitting indian style with both speakers pressed up against my ears... awww... heaven....
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