Anonymous #1 said:
I am a little of a perfectionist and i care very very deeply about how people perceive me
commonly i would do something very minimal like for instance stutter just a little bit
then when i leave the conversation and i run it through my head over and over and over and beat the shit out of myself for messing up
every single little mistake i cant get off my mind and all day long it eats me from the inside
i tell myself that they probably didnt even notice or care and forgot about it but i cant thoroughly convince myself that fucking up is acceptable
how do i let myself mess up without constantly thinking about it and ruin the rest of my days
You really just have to do what you want without letting yourself think about how you look. Always think about what you're doing, not how you're doing.
And don't waste time replaying stuff in your head. It can be a terrible addiction... it leads to insanity and depression, IME. Whether you fucked up or not, move onto the next moment. Don't be a George Costanza and agonize over what you should have said. Whenever you notice you're doing that, stop and say "shit there I go again with that useless perfectionist self-talk that's only going to make me more self-conscious and awkward", and go do something else. Stop talking to yourself in your head altogether, in fact.
You can never know what people think anyway, so don't make the mistake of guessing. If they think you're an idiot, you can't stop them. But believe me, the more you think about how stupid you look, the stupider you will look. And that is a goddamn law of nature.
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