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dumb girl stories
    #8959952 -

I wanna hear them

heres mine

an ex of mine and myself were at a friends house I finished my beer and so did my friends and she got up and said ill get you guys your beers and on the way to the kitchen she asked the dumbest question she could have which was " hey were do you keep your beer" and my friend replied "in the dishwasher" then she said "nope their isnt any beer in the dishwasher, did you guys run out and need more?"

I wanna hear your stories


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blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8959963 -

It could have been in the garage or something. Unless it was an apartment.


--------------------
R.I.P Rod Beck

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: robbyberto]
    #8959973 -

why wouldnt you keep beer in the fridge?

3 single guys renting a house and their wasnt a garage but good point kinda


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blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8959992 -

My ex could out drink me, so she always knew where the beer was. :chugbeer:


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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #8959996 -

Cognitive_Shift said:
My ex could out drink me, so she always knew where the beer was. :chugbeer:


she was hot and easy wasnt she?

I know her type


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blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8960048 -

haha yep lemme get a picture real quick


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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #8960072 -



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L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #8960335 -

I have two dumb girl stories:

1. I was in Spanish class and this girl was making a presentation on Cuba. The bad part of her presentation:

"In liek, the 1950's or something this guy took over the island. And it's still ruled by him!"

Teacher: "That was Fidel Castro."

Girl: "No, actually I think it was some other guy. Wikipedia said something liek... Jay Guerera..."

Teacher: *snicker*

2. Another day in Spanish class we're doing group work. I'm paired up with this girl that is the kind of girl I usually don't get along with (bleached hair, big tits spilling out of small clothes, too much makeup), but I was sort of in a good mood so I was being nice to her.

We're doing this exercise where we have to give advise to each other in Spanish, and my phrases ask for advice on a guy that doesn't like me. She starts joking around and says "Why don't you stalk him, then murder him, then cut him up".

The teacher was walking by and overheard her, and said "You guys are sick". I said, "Dude, I'm not sick, she's sick. She wants me to murder some dude". She still thinks this is a really funny joke she's made, and she says "If you think I'm sick for saying that, check out this project I did for my communications class!" and she pulls out a piece of paper with pictures on it.

The project she made was some pro-life poster. It had pictures of aborted fetuses, very graphic dead baby pictures, all over it in high resolution.

The teacher was 6 months pregnant at this point and completely freaked out. What a dumb bimbo. Dead baby pictures + pregnant lady. Classy.


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While there is a lower class, I am in it
While there is a criminal element, I am of it
While there is a soul in prison, I am not free.

Eugene V Debs

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Cognitive_Shift]
    #8960337 -

lol, nice.:thumbup:

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8960357 -

Quote:
The teacher was 6 months pregnant at this point and completely freaked out. What a dumb bimbo. Dead baby pictures + pregnant lady. Classy.


She sounds cool to me. Abortions are a part of reality, you shouldn't have to be sheltered like a little kid. It's weakness.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8960582 -

This one is short and sweet:

I once had a girl ask me what language they spoke in Canada and Australia.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: iamconfused]
    #8960584 -

I've got a few. . .


When I was in high school I worked as a shiftleader on the frontend (cashier supervisor) and there was this one cashier Michelle. She got sent to the walk-in freezer to return some damages items and was like "we have a freezer?" I replied "of course where do you think we keep the ice cream and other frozen stuff" and then she said "oh I knew we had a freezer but I didn't know you could walk in it!"....

Then another time she was asked to sweep the front end (isle in front of the registers) and someone in produce had taken the broom handle. All of a sudden I see her kicking the bottom part of the broom down the isle and then she said " this is too hard can't we just like vacuum or something?"

Nothing however tops our old leasing agent...
The old apartment we lived in was half of a house made into a separate apartment so the bathroom was originally only a toilet. When they added in the bathtub they glued plastic tiles onto the wooden wall. When we moved in the tiles kept falling off the wall and there was black mold behind them on the wood. I called our leasing lady and told her that and she was like oh thats not mold its just mildew.... Apparently in Northern-eastbumfuck they don't realize that they are the same fucking thing!!!


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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Gumby]
    #8960648 -

Gumby said:
This one is short and sweet:

I once had a girl ask me what language they spoke in Canada and Australia.


:ilold:

canadish and australinieze

what a dumb bitch


o and me and my currant gf just saw a moose the other night and she said wow he must have been a baby and I said no probably teens and she said he was cut then I said, ya that was a female I believe and she said arnt female moose deers?

I about dies in laughter and couldnt hold back

I may have peed a little




I have more but i dont wanna bother you guys


--------------------

blankk said to fee:
btw you're a total fucking psychedelic pimp
Turtletotem said:
I want to become a sun worshipper, so next time an atheist smugly asks me where god is, I can point smugly at the sun and laugh my ass off.

Then I drive away in my solar powered piece of shit car, cool stuff man.

And then I go kill a bitch because the flaming orb in the sky told me to do so, and I don't know, oppress a few minorities here and there in the name of nuclear fusion?

Religion is fun.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: Gumby]
    #8960897 -

Gumby said:
This one is short and sweet:

I once had a girl ask me what language they spoke in Canada and Australia.


French and Aborigine?


--------------------
Every mistake, intentional or otherwise, in the above post, is the fault of the reader.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8960919 -

fee said:
why wouldnt you keep beer in the fridge?

3 single guys renting a house and their wasnt a garage but good point kinda


little tip here for those of you who have roommates who drink beer. what I mean by that is drink YOUR beer.

back when I had roomies, and I would bring home a case of beer, I would always hide one or two of them in the butter keeper on the fridge door. so, when everyone is lamenting that all the beer is gone,  :magichat: ta da! I pull out one more beer for myself.


--------------------
If it weren't for the bloody corpses, I wouldn't have any corpses at all.

There are two ways to get to the top of an oak tree: start climbing or sit on an acorn.

Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: MrBump]
    #8961016 -

After I hooked up with this girl at my friend's party I was getting ready to leave (I'm not "that guy", I had to work in the morning) and she was like "Wait... is that why you took off your pants?!"


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I don't use jelly.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8961025 -

I know this girl who is the most typical dumb blond. Shes a beauty, a good friend and a real nice person but she can be really really stupid.  Many times she'd be telling me a story or something and it would go like this:
"So I told greg that if he's going to go out with the guys thats fine, just dont tell me... (she trails off and her face shifts to a blank stare) .. wait, what was I just talking about?"

She would always zone out and stare off into space.  I'd be talking to her and she'd zone out and when she came back she'd be like "i'm sorry, what were you saying?" 

She also zoned out while driving.  One night she was driving me home and we come up on a traffic light that was about a quarter mile up the road.  I assume she sees it and is going to start slowing down any second now.. finally I realize she has no idea theres a red light.  So I yell "STOP!!!"  She calmly turns her head to me with a confused look on her face as we speed through the intersection through a red light.  "huh?"  my adrenaline was pumping and I yell "we could have just been killed!"  and she said  "what do you mean?" So I had to explain to her that we had just sped through  the last intersection at like 65 mph, and we were lucky there were no cars crossing the other way.  And this is the kicker,  she says "huh? are you sure?"

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: BoneMan]
    #8961046 -

BoneMan said:
I know this girl who is the most typical dumb blond. Shes a beauty, a good friend and a real nice person but she can be really really stupid.  Many times she'd be telling me a story or something and it would go like this:
"So I told greg that if he's going to go out with the guys thats fine, just dont tell me... (she trails off and her face shifts to a blank stare) .. wait, what was I just talking about?"

She would always zone out and stare off into space.  I'd be talking to her and she'd zone out and when she came back she'd be like "i'm sorry, what were you saying?" 

She also zoned out while driving.  One night she was driving me home and we come up on a traffic light that was about a quarter mile up the road.  I assume she sees it and is going to start slowing down any second now.. finally I realize she has no idea theres a red light.  So I yell "STOP!!!"  She calmly turns her head to me with a confused look on her face as we speed through the intersection through a red light.  "huh?"  my adrenaline was pumping and I yell "we could have just been killed!"  and she said  "what do you mean?" So I had to explain to her that we had just sped through  the last intersection at like 65 mph, and we were lucky there were no cars crossing the other way.  And this is the kicker,  she says "huh? are you sure?"


Haha, that reminds me of a good friend. She isn't stupid at all, she was just stoned. "Wait, I need to remember what I was doing, and how to do it."


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I don't use jelly.

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: BoneMan]
    #8961175 -

Boneman, the staring off into space thing could be an absence seizure.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Absence_seizure

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Re: dumb girl stories [Re: fee]
    #8961366 -

A funny thing happened at work today, I don't know if the girl was dumb but she sure looked it.. skimpy clothes, bleached blond hair, lotsa makeup etc.

I was making a salad and this chick comes jogging by and trips in her high heels and does a wicked face plant/slide right in front of me.. she was so embarrassed that she runs thru the kitchen and out the back door. It was so funny cuz she slid like 3 feet, right in front of me.

Drunk people are great.

I was so stoned that I just laughed, and couldn't even get out an "are you all right?" I kinda felt like an ass, but whatever.

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