Auto-SummaryThe post emphasizes the importance of respecting a woman's sexual desires and boundaries, using feedback as a form of communication, and maintaining good hygiene. Foreplay is crucial, as it relaxes the vagina and reduces pain during sex. Women generally cannot orgasm through vaginal penetration alone, so oral sex and gentle finger stimulation are essential. The post also highlights the importance of using the right lubricants and condoms, and suggests specific positions that can enhance pleasure for both partners. Ultimately, it encourages mutual respect and reciprocity in sexual relationships.
*sigh*
Philistines, the lot of you. 
In general:
The first touch should never be sexual.
Just because you're in the mood doesn't necessarily mean she is. Put your considerable talents to ensuring you're both on the same level and you'll both be happier.
Women don't have an "on" switch. We have a slider that moves very, very slowly.
Feedback is love. I had sex with a guy once (once being the operative word) that didn't even *breathe* heavy; ten years later, I couldn't even tell you his name. He was apparently quite into me judging by how his friend kept trying to hook us up again, but ugh, boring. However, screeching nonsense shit like "oh you nasty bitch" might get you slapped (or kneed). A heartfelt and even soft moan can be very powerful and is *this* writer's favourite type of feedback. Having said that, until she knows your "language", it can also sound like a moan of pain. If she freezes, changes what she's doing or looks concerned, assure her that you liked whatever it was she was doing.
Hygiene:
Brush your teeth, three times a day, but especially before a date, after a meal, after smoking, or before an encounter. Whatever rotting food and bacteria you have in your mouth, we don't want it.
Use an anti-dandruff shampoo if you need it. For oily hair if you need it.
Use deodorant.
Use soap. Soap is not shampoo.
Wash your socks in hot water with bleach and if you get athlete's foot, treat it.
Most women don't mind a reasonable amount of body hair on a male, but for the love of god keep yourself groomed. If you have dreads, that's fine, but keep your hair and scalp clean. If you have long hair, that's fine, but get it trimmed when it starts looking ratty. Very few women expect an adult male to be completely without body hair, but if your pubic hair is long enough to be braided, you need to trim it.
Technique:
Foreplay is your friend. Plan on doing it at least half an hour. Just because you have a bottle of lube doesn't mean you can just jam your shit into her. One of the purposes of foreplay is to relax the vagina and lengthen it; the cervix moves deeper into her body cavity to make more room. Sex without foreplay (unless she was heavily aroused in the first place, which chances are she was not) is A) no fun and B) painful for the woman. If a guy can't be arsed to bother with foreplay, then I can't be arsed to let him stick his dick in me.
Most women are not physically capable of orgasming from vaginal penetration alone. The vaginal canal is designed to give a passage for a full-term infant from womb to outside; as such, it's not got much in the way of nerve endings.
Lick it before you stick it. Trust me, she'll find you much more memorable if you're good with your tongue than if you just pound away like a jackhammer, and she'll likely A) want to come back for more (perhaps several times a day) and B) may tell her friends. I have a good friend who has quite the reputation of being "the most fantastically talented cunninglingust I've ever had the pleasure to know" (to quote a friend, because sadly, I do not know first hand, but I have heard this from SEVERAL women), and he does not sleep alone unless he chooses to. Think about it. I'm unfortunately completely uninterested in women but if I were a guy, and could get a woman to shriek uncontrollably and beg me and plead with me for "more more more!" by moving my tongue half an inch in either direction, I think I'd be on top of the world.
Learn HOW to use your fingers. Be gentle with them; the vaginal tissues are very sensitive and tear easily and bruise even more easily. Don't just blindly stick your fingers in her and start poking away. Some people believe in the existence of the G-spot, some don't. *I* am a believer, and gentle but firm stimulation of it combined with oral sex is likely to turn me into a quivering puddle of goo.
Ignore your spam filter. Bigger is not necessarily better (some women are "size whores" and that's fine, but for most women I've spoken to, they'd rather "average" paired with "talent"). Having an enormous schlong and "jackhammering all night" is an interesting novelty once in a while, perhaps, if the guy is really good with his tongue and his fingers. If he's not, it's just painful.
If you want her to worship you like the god you are, worship her like the goddess she is.
Unless specifically directed otherwise, don't expect ANYTHING you are unwilling to give. If you won't go down on her, forget getting head. If you expect her to take it in the ass, expect to take something the size of your erect cock in YOUR ass. If you insist she be freshly showered and shaven, get in the shower with her and shave your own brillo pad.
Generally speaking, men get off on anal sex because they have prostate glands and there's actually some pleasant stimulation there. Women are not so equipped, despite what pornography tells them. All the women I know hate anal sex because it's painful and frightening. Do you really want her to associate sex with you as scaring and hurting her?
Favourite lube:
Get a silicone based one, like dimethicone. Glycerin based ones dry out and turn into sharp little sugar cubes, and ow. You also can't use glycerin-based lube underwater. Silicone/dimethicone can be used under water, but BE REALLY CAREFUL ABOUT USING IT IN THE SHOWER, because like three drops will lubricate you, her, the shower walls *and the shower floor* and you'll crash into a rather ignoble heap on the floor of the shower and your brains will leak out the huge gash you've now put in your skull.
Favourite condom:
If you're using them, definitely preference for polyurethane ones. I'm female, but I'm given to understand they transmit heat and sensation better.
Positions:
I personally don't like 69. I'd rather give or receive (as opposed to simultaneously giving and receiving), so that I can properly concentrate on whatever is happening.
I personally find "doggy-style" to be objectifying and not terribly physically satisfying. *shrug*
However, a "modified missionary position" (my legs together) (see link 1 below), particularly coupled with a coital alignment technique (see link 2 below) is POSITIVELY MIND-BLOWING for both you and your woman.
I actually also like positions that have me on my side, or me my back and the guy on his side. (This may depend on the woman and the man, of course).
This is about all I can come up with on short notice, but at least it's a start, sheesh.
As with everything else on the internet, YMMV.
1 - http://www.illustrated-lovemaking-positions.com/easy/missionary-push.html
2 - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coital_alignment_technique
(However, in the interest of fairness . . . I would like to hear what the guys think is z0mg!awesome . . .)
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Free the WM3!!!
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