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OfflineChemical_Smile
Making Love WithMy Ego
Registered: 09/20/01
Posts: 2,217
Loc: coming down fast, miles a...
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Have you dissapointed the mushrooms?
    #771201 - 07/23/02 06:54 PM (15 years, 4 months ago)

I remember my last trip I was on top of a building overlooking the city and thinking about my life and how I interact with others and myself. I realized that I was full of shit in many ways and there was a great need for change. I was writing it all down in a notebook and I was just flying through page after page of what had to be done.
Although not this analogy, my overiding thought was that change isnt a sudden thing. Living a good life is like learning to play guitar or any other skill. You need to practice practice practice. Almost every other page in that journal was PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH. Your making excuses, your being weak, your being a fucking hipocrite, PRACTICE WHAT YOU PREACH!

Well lately Ive been fucking up again/still and Im realy depressed because I wonder if these intense moments of clarity dont change me will anything?


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OfflineAlatore
A humble writerof fantasy
Registered: 03/10/02
Posts: 41
Loc: University of Iowa
Last seen: 12 years, 10 months
Re: Have you dissapointed the mushrooms? [Re: Chemical_Smile]
    #771969 - 07/24/02 12:04 AM (15 years, 4 months ago)

I'm no expert, but it sounds, based on what you wrote, that the journal contained nothing but self-bashing comments. Doesn't sound like those sort of remarks are encouragable or able to solve your problems. Take a working man for instance. Now, if his boss comes and tells him that he's doing a good job, most likely the employee will feel good and will work harder and more efficiently. If the boss never says anything, chances are the employee will continue to work at the same pace or quality, having no motivation to improve himself. Thus, if the boss says he's doing a shitty job, the employee will in turn do exactly that--a shitty job.

Don't tell yourself you're doing a shitty job. Tell yourself you're doing a good one, while still realizing that there's always room for improvement. Calmly sort out your faults and pick them off one by one. You are right, however. Practice practice practice. Change is definitely not instant, but as you work for it, make sure that you, the boss, gives plenty of comments of satisfaction.

Good fate,
Alatore


--------------------
"If everything is possible, then it is possible for something to be impossible."


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OfflineChemical_Smile
Making Love WithMy Ego
Registered: 09/20/01
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Loc: coming down fast, miles a...
Last seen: 14 years, 1 month
Re: Have you dissapointed the mushrooms? [Re: Alatore]
    #772086 - 07/24/02 02:24 AM (15 years, 4 months ago)

You have a good point. My journal , however, was not as much self bashing as it was a tough love sort of thing. Sometimes if someone continues to be blind to a situation you need to slap them and hold their eyes open for a spell. I do need to find a way to be positive to myself though. The hard part is I must actualy believe it. I am a arrogant bastard. I consider this a strenght though. With all the milions of people in the world why should I have a place near the top when there are so many bottom feeder roles that must be played. I have to think I am better than every one else and I have to believe it. Ive given myself those gentle reminders but I didnt listen or hear them so Im glad the shrooms slapped my ass around and told me whats what. I think I just need to be slapped a little harder actualy. I think this is why white males have the highest rate of suicide and why they are some of the most prosperouse people there are. You have to play high stakes. Right now Im fucking up on the little things and that just cant be tollerated.




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OfflinegeokillsA
∙∙∙∙☼ º¿° ☼∙∙∙∙
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Re: Have you dissapointed the mushrooms? [Re: Chemical_Smile]
    #772106 - 07/24/02 02:46 AM (15 years, 4 months ago)

well i think Alatore had a great tip to offer. and being that you realize that you're not who/where you want to be, you're on the right path to modify yourself. like you said, practice what you preach for sure, and stay true to yourself. no one else can live your live for you, so live it how you want to live it and be happy with your decisions. life is a trip ~ you can control it to some extent


--------------------

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··∙   long live the shroomery  ∙··
...π╥ ╥π...


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Offlineakyouser_oner
unclefuckerextrordinaire

Registered: 06/20/02
Posts: 546
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Last seen: 14 years, 4 months
Re: Have you dissapointed the mushrooms? [Re: Chemical_Smile]
    #772343 - 07/24/02 07:00 AM (15 years, 4 months ago)

if you know where you've strayed, you also must know where the path still lies... consider your fuck ups a lesson on the path and correct them and move on... don't dwell on them (for too long)...


--------------------
-akyouser.oner
<(((((((((((((((@~~~


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Mushrooms, Mycology and Psychedelics >> The Psychedelic Experience >> Trip Reports

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