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For some reason though, I can't figure out what I would be happy with for the rest of my life.
This is one thing you have in common with just about everyone in a similar situation as you. Most of the people who have made firm decisions about their future probably suffer just as much anxiety, and the ones who still have no clue far outnumber the ones who do.
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I was thinking... could I take a g of mushies, maybe meditate, and come to some conclusion?
In my opinion, this could be helpful.
At a defining point in my life I took an 8th of mushrooms and had a really scary trip, and when it was over I felt relief and a certain clarity in my direction. HOWEVER, the decisions I made in the days, weeks, and months following led me down a different path than I could ever have envisioned. So if you do gain insight, don't cling to it against the winds of change. In this life it seems we have to be pretty open to new circumstances and new experiences as they present themselves, and we often have to let go of paths we thought we were going to walk all the way.
Good luck as you consider your next moves. Meditate deeply on the role you play to your family and friends, on living a compassionate life, and on what kind of situations you wish to see manifested in this life.
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