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How does one find partners?
    #6970171 -

Romantic or even best friends.

How do you do it?

Do men need to be very yang and assume women have NO IDEA what they are talking about, framing reality for THEM to have to agree with ?


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970181 -

It just happens. :smile:


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: fireworks_god]
    #6970185 -

those who don't run away from eachother are partners
the system works by default or pretense.
the default ones are more true,
but pretense can work out if they stick to it.

take a cooking class or wine tasting maybe


--------------------
:brainfart: _ :finger:

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970186 -

Internet:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: fireworks_god]
    #6970188 -

fireworks_god said:
It just happens. :smile:


I'll second that :heartpump:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970189 -

All relationships start off as seeds. You water them with patience, care, love, and attention, and then they grow. If and how they blossom depends on their circumstances and how they are grown.

Do you feel a lack of something?


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: redgreenvines]
    #6970210 -

dblaney said:
Do you feel a lack of something?


I feel quite fine. Thank goodness too.

I do not have any relationships at all though other than with my family. I will have friends at the end of the summer though these friends I just don't know about. Only one truly seems compassionate.

You see, when you are young it is just sort of like this. Want to be best friends? of course. So you are. And you spend all your time with one another and therefore have strong bonds.

I believe growing up into our world destroys the capability to form bonds due to the notion that "time" is "money" and therefore one must be a servant to things that simply chop his experience of reality up so much that he has little time to develop anything at all.

This has been my experience, though if I had had roomates in college (and if I have roomates in college but time is running out drastically) i would likely have had a social life and the joys that come with it.
redgreenvines said:
those who don't run away from eachother are partners
the system works by default or pretense.
the default ones are more true,
but pretense can work out if they stick to it.

take a cooking class or wine tasting maybe


indeed. But what of the yang? For instance it seems that one must, if male, be a "man" and therefore force a woman into such a test of running away vs staying......... say "hi" to strangers eh?

I have a tendency to be yin.

also two individuals that i have felt the strongest resonance for have caused me immense hurt.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (05/26/07 04:50 PM)

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970217 -

leery11 said:
Romantic or even best friends.

How do you do it?




Stalking.


--------------------


"Both liberty and equality are among the primary goals pursued by human beings through many centuries; but total liberty for wolves is death to the lambs" -- Isaiah Berlin

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: FrenchSocialist]
    #6970221 -

Partners, not targets.  :lol:

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970226 -

Quote:
it seems that one must, if male, be a "man"


Indeed, I've noticed this social trend too, but I'd heartily disagree with your assertion that one must be a "man." You are already a man. Popular culture seems to dictate that men should be this way, and women should be that way. What a load of dehumanizing shit!

You are who you are, and there's no getting around that. Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

True, if you don't follow this idea that you have to act a certain way to be a 'man', it may take more time and energy to find an authentic and loving relationship, but honestly, don't you think it would be worth it?

Quote:
I have a tendency to be yin.


Then by God be yin! Be yin with all your heart. Oscillating doesn't do much good.

Quote:
though if I had had roomates in college (and if I have roomates in college but time is running out drastically) i would likely have had a social life and the joys that come with it.


But not having roommates has helped you to become who you are today. You may be a completely different person, with different values if you had roommates. Of what value is regretting the past? I've found that people able to spend time alone are generally far more sane than people who aren't and don't.

You're a very beautiful human being, please don't see yourself as anything less :heart:


--------------------
"What is in us that turns a deaf ear to the cries of human suffering?"

"Belief is a beautiful armor
But makes for the heaviest sword"
- John Mayer

Making the noise "penicillin" is no substitute for actually taking penicillin.

"This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or their revolutionary right to dismember or overthrow it." -Abraham Lincoln

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: MushroomTrip]
    #6970228 -

MushroomTrip said:
fireworks_god said:
It just happens. :smile:


I'll second that :heartpump:


Yes, that's been my experience.  Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to "happen" very often for me(whether it be romance or friends).


--------------------

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: Silversoul]
    #6970242 -

Quote:
Yes, that's been my experience. Unfortunately, it doesn't seem to "happen" very often for me(whether it be romance or friends).



I know.
But I think that's a part of what's making it be out of the common.
If we have our minds tuned into finding whatever we're looking for (both romance or friends) then we will find it. This doesn't imply something instant, but will definitely give us the ability to recognize those circumstances. :smile:


--------------------
:bunny::bunnyhug:
All this time I've loved you
And never known your face
All this time I've missed you
And searched this human race
Here is true peace
Here my heart knows calm
Safe in your soul
Bathed in your sighs
:bunnyhug: :yinyang2:

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: dblaney]
    #6970244 -

Indeed, I've noticed this social trend too, but I'd heartily disagree with your assertion that one must be a "man." You are already a man. Popular culture seems to dictate that men should be this way, and women should be that way. What a load of dehumanizing shit!

You are who you are, and there's no getting around that. Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

True, if you don't follow this idea that you have to act a certain way to be a 'man', it may take more time and energy to find an authentic and loving relationship, but honestly, don't you think it would be worth it?


Great stuff!:thumbup:


--------------------
"Don't believe everything you think". -Anom.

" All that lives was born to die"-Anom.

With much wisdom comes much sorrow,
The more knowledge, the more grief.
Ecclesiastes circa 350 BC

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: Veritas]
    #6970249 -

Veritas said:
Partners, not targets.  :lol:


Hail Il Palazzo! 

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: dblaney]
    #6970253 -

dblaney said:
Quote:
it seems that one must, if male, be a "man"


Indeed, I've noticed this social trend too, but I'd heartily disagree with your assertion that one must be a "man." You are already a man. Popular culture seems to dictate that men should be this way, and women should be that way. What a load of dehumanizing shit!

You are who you are, and there's no getting around that. Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

True, if you don't follow this idea that you have to act a certain way to be a 'man', it may take more time and energy to find an authentic and loving relationship, but honestly, don't you think it would be worth it?

Quote:
I have a tendency to be yin.


Then by God be yin! Be yin with all your heart. Oscillating doesn't do much good.

Quote:
though if I had had roomates in college (and if I have roomates in college but time is running out drastically) i would likely have had a social life and the joys that come with it.


But not having roommates has helped you to become who you are today. You may be a completely different person, with different values if you had roommates. Of what value is regretting the past? I've found that people able to spend time alone are generally far more sane than people who aren't and don't.

You're a very beautiful human being, please don't see yourself as anything less :heart:


Thank you friend! :smile: :heart: everything you say is so. I agree with it. It's part of a story that ends happy. But i'm not at the fruit yet you know so it's like now I am not sure what in the world is going on, because yes all this makes me who I am, but I'm not sure if who I am will be able to be who I wish to be, or not, it's almost over... my entire identity is about to collapse in a semester and what for ?

None of this would matter if I don't have goals. But I want to have goals.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (05/26/07 05:13 PM)

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: dblaney]
    #6970256 -

Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

When one pretends to be someone they are not, they will not attract people who are interested in who they are.

IOW, would you (leery) be interested in a woman who pretended to be ultra-girly, shallow, silly, materialistic and appearance-oriented? Would her attempt to conceal her true self successfully attract a man who wanted a partner who was NOT a run-of-the-mill chickie-poo? Of course not.

So why would you pretend to be a Macho-macho-man in order to attract a woman?

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970262 -

leery11: How does one find partners?

What do you love to do? What activity fills you with a sense of joy, passion and purpose? Go do that. Pay attention to who else shows up, doing what they love to do.

If you don't have anything that you love to do, find something that fills you with a sense of joy, passion and purpose. Then do that. Pay attention to who else shows up, doing what they love to do.


.


--------------------
~ Kindness is cheap.  It's unkindness that always demands the highest price.

Blogs: Spiritual Emergency | Spiritual Recovery | Voices of Recovery | A Jungian Approach to Psychosis

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: Veritas]
    #6970266 -

Veritas said:
Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

When one pretends to be someone they are not, they will not attract people who are interested in who they are.

IOW, would you (leery) be interested in a woman who pretended to be ultra-girly, shallow, silly, materialistic and appearance-oriented? Would her attempt to conceal her true self successfully attract a man who wanted a partner who was NOT a run-of-the-mill chickie-poo? Of course not.

So why would you pretend to be a Macho-macho-man in order to attract a woman?


it would not be pretending, it would be an execution of willpower I suppose. I'm not a macho man beefcake RRRAHHHHH incredible hulk
what i mean is more like i would just you know say

well to hell with these thoughts from now on i will attempt to initiate things rather than hope for things to simply come my way..... you know go say hi to an attractive girl who seems resonant rather than not saying hi.

and defining her reality into mine assertively rather then saying "well would YOU like to ?" I would say "Hey I'd like to....."

its a bit tricky to explain, it's something that this girl that I've been avoiding has taught me about assertiveness in the way her phone messages are just SO demanding in a way.......

when I was on LSD she called me and i flipped the yin/yang polarity completely around and it was very interesting.... a bit tricky to explain.


--------------------
I am the MacDaddy of Heimlich County, I play it Straight Up Yo!

....I embrace my desire to feel the rhythm, to feel connected enough to step aside and weep like a widow, to feel inspired, to fathom the power, to witness the beauty, to bathe in the fountain, to swing on the spiral of our divinity and still be a human......
Om Namah Shivaya, I tell you What!

Edited by leery11 (05/26/07 05:18 PM)

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970282 -

Well, it is difficult to meet people if you never speak to them, so I would agree that some degree of assertiveness is necessary. As far as attempting to control the interaction, or push things to happen, that seems too macho to me.

If you want to be with a girl who is interested in being passive, then you will be more likely to attract her by being aggressive and controlling. If you are interested in girls who know their own minds, and are comfortable interacting with guys as equals, then an aggressive approach will likely be a turn off.

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Re: How does one find partners? [Re: leery11]
    #6970285 -


Veritas said:
Relationships based on these false images aren't all that genuine.

When one pretends to be someone they are not, they will not attract people who are interested in who they are.

IOW, would you (leery) be interested in a woman who pretended to be ultra-girly, shallow, silly, materialistic and appearance-oriented? Would her attempt to conceal her true self successfully attract a man who wanted a partner who was NOT a run-of-the-mill chickie-poo? Of course not.


What? I myself would find a disguise fascinating, but that's probably because I prefer intelligence.


--------------------


"Both liberty and equality are among the primary goals pursued by human beings through many centuries; but total liberty for wolves is death to the lambs" -- Isaiah Berlin

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General Interest > Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology
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