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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: Ego Death]
    #6447747 -

Confidence is key to succeeding in life.

If you believe you can.....you will.

If you believe you can't....you won't


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: niteowl]
    #6447752 -

niteowl said:
Confidence is key to succeeding in life.

If you believe you can.....you will.

If you believe you can't....you won't



very cliché but oh so true  :smirk:

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: niteowl]
    #6448474 -

i have an etreme dislike of over-confidence or egoism.

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: Ego Death]
    #6448910 -

Then don't bitch about not having any confidence :shrug:


--------------------
Live for the moment you are in now
Don't be bogged down by your past
Don't be afraid of what lies in your future

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: Ego Death]
    #6451675 -

danoEoboy said:
i have an etreme dislike of over-confidence or egoism.


Is there some aspect of yourself that lies at odds with you? Perhaps a part of you that mirrors what you hate? This could be the source of your anxiety.


--------------------
:redpanda:
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Wrapped in the warmth of you
Loving every breath of you
:heartpump: :bunnyhug: :yinyang:

:yinyang: :levitate: :earth: :levitate: :yinyang:

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: fireworks_god]
    #6452011 -

I share the fireworks_gods view on this. Extreme dislike could be a major culprit. It seems that you've forced an over-confident and egoist part of yourself into your shadow and you're projecting it to other people who 'carry it' for you.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. We all do it and the best way to recognize the parts of us that we disowned is to notice what we hate and dislike in others. If you start to compassionately embrace confidence and egotism in others, you will also allow that part of yourself to get back to the surface where you can integrate it back into your being.

Doing a search on 'shadow work' and 'projections' will probably be of further help.


--------------------

"Who are you who live in all these many forms? You're death that captures all. You too are the source of all that's gonna be born. You're glory, mercy, peace, truth. You give calm a spirit, understanding, courage, the contented heart."

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: redtailedhawk]
    #6452760 -

Hey dano,

Different things work on different people, but I'll tell you what I've experienced, in short.

I too suffer from social anxiety. My face goes red and I blush in some (but not all, your case seems a bit more severe than mine) social situations where there is attention being directed at me. The worst for me was individual class presentations where you would have to get up in front of the class and give a 30 min to 1 hour presentation on a book, movies, topic, etc. I would agonize over it in my head for days, sometimes a week, before the actual presentation. It wasn't due to the content (I was confident that my actual work was good), but I knew that once I got up there I would go crimson and from my view point at the time, people would judge me for this. I was obviously wrapped up in how people would see me and since my assumption was that it was very negative, this lead to a lack of confidence.

Talking to attractive girls, being in a group of people I wasn't too familiar with or even sometimes dealing with a superior at work would make my anxiety spike and I wouldn't be able to properly express myself and communicate. This predicament went on for a long time, and still does. But it is getting better.

These days I don't smoke nearly as much marijuana as I used to. I don't consume alcohol (bar the once in a blue moon get together with friends :laugh:). These days I try to live more in the moment, realizing that we're just a bunch of monkeys (hominids if you want to pick hairs :laugh:) floating on a rock going around a sun that exists in a universe we can't even comprehend. I meditate these days to calm myself down and see things clearly. I've taken to reading scripture from all religions and philosophies to keep my mind on the bigger picture. I have a lot of big dreams, and I am sure you do too. See this anxiety as a wall you have to climb. See that the organisms that eventually evolved into homo sapien have overcome such problems as developing the capacity to live on land and taking down a woolly mammoth, despite the  particular size advantage. Research it, fight it, etc. Do what you need to do, but realize that all problems have solutions.

When, not if, you overcome this, you will indeed have other problems to face but you'll have grown so much as a person. Good luck, bro. Always realize you're not alone in any endeavor. :laugh:


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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: Ego Death]
    #6461109 -

Quote:
i even tried explaining to some of them how nervous i was but most of them quickly go and pick up one of my more confident friends.


Man you don't want to tell girls about your nervous problems. Just chill out, and don't give a fuck. Talk to them for the sake of having good conversation with them. For good company.


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Everything that is posted, including pictures and text, are a result of fictional storytelling using images found online and/or created using the latest graphics software. I am a fictional writer who likes to explore the internet world.
------------------------------------

http://www.adobe.com/

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Re: i'm a pussy - i'm lost it and i'm scared [Re: Ego Death]
    #6461752 -

Giving up the weed is a good start. And stop calling yourself a pussy.

Practice is key. Try chatting a little here and there with clerks and other people you are forced to interact with anyway. Say more than you have to. Practice keeping cool by talking to unattractive girls, then treat the pretty ones the same way -- be friendly but also act as if you don't have a need to impress them.

I've been doing those things for a while now and I've made leaps and bounds.


--------------------
Welcome evermore to gods and men is the self-helping man.  For him all doors are flung wide: him all tongues greet, all honors crown, all eyes follow with desire.  Our love goes out to him and embraces him, because he did not need it.

~ R.W. Emerson, "Self-Reliance"

:heartpump:

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